Now that the rifle was gone, as well as any evidence of who purchased it, I was in the clear. Hell, I was like the tornado that roared through town and left just as quickly—virtually untraceable. So I wasn’t sure why I hesitated to go to my apartment. I stood in the shadows of the complex and watched. There hadn’t been any activity for more than an hour, but the campus cop car was still parked outside. I didn’t think anyone went inside my apartment, but there was no way to know until I went inside. My resident advisor, Tom, had a key, but he wouldn’t just go into my apartment, would he?
“Is that even legal?”
I don’t know.
I quickly googled student housing rights and found a shit ton of blogs on the topic. The takeaway was threefold: remain calm, I didn’t have to consent to a search, and always request an attorney. If they had a search warrant, chances were the search would continue without me. I was sure they were on the lookout for some kind of contraband. But David and I both knew that wasn’t what they’d find.
“Why are you freaking out?”
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because there’s a cop outside my apartment.
“Get a grip. Don’t be such a pussy.”
I’m not. I’m just assessing the situation.
Everyone on campus knew that the university hired local police officers to patrol the campus during the school year. They had arrest authority, which I didn’t want to test.
Even if the cops didn’t get involved, the university could still exercise its disciplinary rights, which usually meant that if I didn’t comply with whatever they wanted, they could expel me.
It happened to a buddy of mine. He was accused of hacking the transcript office and wouldn’t turn over his computer. I didn’t know if the university didn’t have enough evidence or not, only that when he refused their request for his computer, they kicked him off campus and out of school. I was sure there was more to the story than that, but I remembered him saying that the school had these clauses that protected them and screwed the students. They basically could do whatever they wanted.
“But expulsion?”
I know, right?
Four years of college with fifteen credits shy from graduating, and I could lose it all. It’d be one thing if they didn’t let me graduate because I owed them money, which I did. But to lose everything I’d worked so hard to earn just didn’t seem right.
“It’s bullshit and it’s not fair.”
You’re right.
Adrenaline kicked in and I bolted toward the stairwell that led to my apartment. Tom and a scrawny cop stood off to the side. As soon as they spotted me, they briskly walked in the direction of my apartment.
“Hey, guys. How’s it goin’?” I said as I approached.
The cop glanced at a piece of paper that had my photo on it and then back at me, but it was Tom who spoke.
“We’d like to talk,” he said.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Perhaps we could go inside.” Tom nodded to my apartment.
“I’d rather not.” I grimaced. “It’s kind of a mess.”
“We don’t mind,” the cop said.
“But I do,” I said resolutely, enforcing my fourth amendment rights.
“And without a warrant, you can’t do dick, motherfuckers.”
“Okay.” Tom clapped his hands together. “I’ll get right to the point. We were notified that you had made some dangerous-sounding comments that were concerning. With your permission, we’d like to search your apartment.”
“If you’re referring to the stoner who lives on this floor, he joked about buying dope and I joked about buying an AK-47.” I held up my left hand like I was taking an oath. “Which I can now see was in poor taste. But that’s all it was, a dumb comment.”
“Sounds harmless enough. Let’s just go inside and talk about this,” Tom said.
The guy was good.
“No, we can talk here,” I replied.
“The complaint mentioned a ski bag,” Tom pressed.
Damn criminal justice major. Why can’t he just go away?
I nodded. “Yup, I was thinking of buying new alpine skis.”
“Where’s the bag now?” the campus cop asked.
“In the river,” I said and didn’t blink at their shocked expressions. “I was on the footbridge headed to Poor Boy’s Pub when it started dumping on me. Everyone was running, but when I did, I turfed it. My bag flew off my shoulder, and before I could get it, it slipped over the side and into the river.” It was the truth, so I knew neither my face nor voice would betray me.
I turned my hands palm-side up and showed the burn marks from skidding on the grated bridge. They both took a quick yet inquisitive glance.
“It hurt like hell.” I rubbed my palms on my jeans. “And that bag wasn’t cheap. Some lucky bastard’s going to find it next spring.”
Tom wearily smiled like he was trying to get on board with my story. At this point, all he had was some stoner’s version of what happened. I wasn’t about to give him anything solid he could use.
“Whatever. When did talking about buying a gun become illegal?”
Shut up. That’s the least of our troubles. You know why they’re here.
“Listen, I get why you’re here,” I said. “With all the crap that happens on college campuses, it was stupid of me to joke about a gun.”
“Do you own a gun?” the officer asked.
“I have a hunting rifle at my mom’s house, but it’s not here on campus,” I explained.
The rifle was registered. They probably already knew I owned it.
“Do you own any other types of weapons?”
“Fuck you.”
Yup.
I slowly shook my head. “No, sir.”
“What about a dart gun?” the cop asked.
“A dart gun?” I laughed. “You’re joking, right?”
“No joke. We found a disassembled dart gun in the dumpster,” Tom said.
I shrugged. “Don’t know what to tell you, Tom. It wasn’t mine.”
“Now, the electronics kit inside the apartment that looks like bomb parts, yeah, that’s ours.”
Shut up.
I scratched the back of my shaved head. “I wish I could help more.”
Tom slowly nodded again like he was trying to convince himself of my truth.
“Listen, guys, if that’s all, I’d really like to shower. My clothes are wet, I lost my best ski bag, and I’m hungry. Poor Boy’s was closed when I got there, and the union shut early.” Two additional truths I slipped into the conversation.
“Yeah, sure.” Tom nodded, and the campus cop followed suit.
They turned to leave, and I waited. I wasn’t about to open my apartment door until they were gone. When they disappeared into the stairwell, I unlocked my door and darted inside.
Bonita was exactly where I’d left her. A length of rope was wrapped around her neck and tied to the water pipe in the apartment. When she looked up at me, her blue eyes no longer shone. They were kind of dull.
Neither Tom nor the cop would understand. They’d probably think it was a noose and that I was trying to hang her. It couldn’t be further from the truth. I liked my cat. I was just fucking tired of cleaning up her messes.