CHAPTER TWO

The Scientific Chateau

Dear Lord Byron,

Thank you so much for your introduction to Doctor Ruthven. Our balloon landed perfectly in a useful clearing, and though there were several rather large and ominous dogs roaming about, they soon ran off when our host appeared.

The Chateau is truly magnificent, with its oak panels and chandeliers everywhere, though much of it is taken over with laboratory equipment and unusual inventions of grand scale. As for our host, he really is rather splendid looking, though I’m not sure of his penchant for black leather; I can’t help but think that something cheery in green or gold might brighten the place up a little.

Tonight, he has invited a few friends for cake and conversation. They are a gloriously intellectual group. Vicomte Guittet has been talking about his chemistry experiments with little demonstrations of Scientific Principles, Mrs. Shelley read aloud from her scientific romance, and Miss Lovelace has even offered to show me her calculations one evening!

I also have a tincture for you, compliments of the Doctor, though it is a rather nasty shade of orange and smells even worse. I wouldn’t touch it if I were you. …

Love and admiration as always,

Emilly

Doctor and Violetta Ruthven request your presence at the monthly gathering of The Natural Philosophical Society.

5 p.m. sharp. Tea will be served.

There will also be a short demonstration of Phantasm Entrapment by a trio of our esteemed colleagues, an exhibition of utmost gravity.

For those who wish to partake of overnight hospitality, rooms have been prepared in the east wing. I am assured it is no longer inhabited by last month’s experiment … or two on their annual migration!

RSVP

The Scientific Chateau Tea Menu

Stripey Syringe Push Pops

Mysterious Monster Bites

Mechanical Box Cake

Volcano Toffee

Aetheric Iced Tea and Other Concoctions

— Also consider serving —

Blue Cheese and Honey Sandwiches

Watercress and Peanut Butter Sandwiches

Red and White Grapes and Melon Balls

Stripey Syringe Push Pops

A shadowy figure in an apron and cap walks the long corridor with a covered silver tray. Shrieks echo through the empty abbey, carried on the wind through the rafters. Thumps and crashes from the attic do not disturb her. Even though it sounds as if furniture is being hurled by a being with superhuman strength, she marches stoically on toward her destination. Finally, lifting an ancient tapestry, the nurse opens a hidden door and ascends the narrow staircase. Herr Doktor waits.

A shard of light shines upon the silver tray, now set down upon the floor. The door cracks open slowly, just enough for a cold white hand to reach out and grasp the cake….

INGREDIENTS

For the Cake

115g (4 oz.) butter

115g (4 oz.) sugar

115g (4 oz.) self-rising flour

2 eggs

Deep red/pink food coloring

55g (2 oz.) grated white chocolate

85g (3 oz.) fresh or frozen raspberries [or 30g (2 tbsp.) of whole fruit raspberry jam]

For the Ganache

40g (11⁄2 oz.) cream

100g (31⁄2 oz.) white chocolate, roughly chopped

For the Icing

115g (4 oz.) butter

115g (4 oz.) icing sugar

Purple food coloring

5ml (1 tsp.) of vanilla extract

For Decoration

Edible stars, glitter, sequins, colored sugar or any other decoration you prefer

SPECIAL SUPPLIES

6 pop cases

Piping bag with star nozzle

*Makes 6 push pops

TO MAKE THE CAKES

  1. Preheat the oven to gas mark 5 (375° F/190° C) and grease and line 2 shallow 7" (18cm) round pans.
  2. Using either a wooden spoon or an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy.
  3. Add the flour, eggs, food coloring and chocolate, and mix until smooth.
  4. Gently stir in the raspberries so they ripple through the mixture rather than completely blending them in.
  5. Pour an equal amount of batter into both of the tins. Bake for around 20 minutes or until the cakes spring back when pressed in the center.
  6. Remove from the tins and cool on a wire rack.

Housekeeper’s Perks

This cake and icing combination also makes delectable cupcakes. Mix up the cake batter following steps 1–3. Place 12 paper cases in a muffin tray and fill halfway, using about 3⁄4 of the cake mix. Make a little well in the center of each cake and place a teaspoon of raspberries in it, covering all the raspberries with the remaining cake mix. Bake the cupcakes for only 10–15 minutes, cool in their cases on a wire rack, then ice and decorate. When you bite into a cake the raspberries will ooze out!

FOR THE GANACHE AND ICING

  1. To make the ganache, heat the cream until it reaches a boil. Add the chopped white chocolate to the boiling cream and mix until smooth. Leave to cool completely.
  2. Make the butter icing by beating the butter and icing sugar together with the food coloring and vanilla.
  3. Beat the ganache and butter icing together. Leave in the refrigerator for at least an hour to set.

Pantry Perfections

To maintain the perfect presentation of the push pops, it is imperative to keep them cool. The truffle icing melts very quickly if it is allowed to become warm! They are best stored in a cool cupboard rather than a refrigerator and should be eaten within a day or two of assembling.

TO ASSEMBLE THE POPS

  1. Cut out rounds of cake using a pop case.
  2. Beat the icing until smooth and slightly softened. I use an electric whisk to get it to just the right consistency after it’s been in the refrigerator overnight. Then, place a large star nozzle in a piping bag and fill with the icing.
  3. Place a round of cake in each pop case, followed by a swirl of icing. Sprinkle edible stars, glitter, sequins, colored sugar chips, etc. down the sides.
  4. Add another round of cake, followed by another swirl and more decorations. Then, place a third piece of cake and a final icing swirl, decorating with your chosen sprinkles.

Mysterious Monster Bites

In the silence of Doctor Ruthven’s library at midnight, the dusty cabinets stand tall, filled with fancies from all four corners of the earth. Giant eggs of the fabled Roc; wax seals of long-dead emperors; tablets inscribed with unknowable letters—these are but a few of the many mysterious treasures that abound. Surely, if one could just unlock the secrets of an ancient scroll or two, the wonders of the universe would open, bringing enlightenment, peace and fame to the bearer of the news.

So it is that Lady Armstrong Prior sits night after night, candle wax dripping on the mahogany desk and quill in hand, desperately unraveling the codex that will divulge the secret recipe for Cleopatra’s favorite snack.

INGREDIENTS

175g (6 oz.) butter

Finely grated peel of an orange

Finely grated peel of a lime

Green and orange food coloring (optional)

350g (12 oz.) flour

55g (2 oz.) ground almonds

220g (7 oz.) caster sugar

2 eggs

*Makes 12 biscuits

TO MAKE THE BISCUITS

  1. Beat the butter until soft. Divide into 2 equal portions and add the lime peel to one and the orange peel to the other. You can also add a few drops of food coloring at this stage.
  2. Mix the flour, ground almonds and sugar thoroughly in a separate bowl. Divide the dry mix in half and add each of the portions to the separate bowls of flavored butter.
  3. Add an egg to each bowlful and gently stir with a wooden spoon until all the ingredients are thoroughly combined.
  4. Roll each mixture into a long sausage shape on a floured board, about 12" (30cm) should do. Twist the two flavored lengths together, striping the mixture so it looks a little like a candy cane. Roll gently to merge the edges and cut into two equal lengths. Refrigerate the dough for an hour to allow the mixture to firm up again.
  5. Sprinkle your work surface with flour and roll out the first dough piece to about 1⁄4" (6mm) thickness. Cut out your monsters or dinosaurs, trying to get a bit of each color on each biscuit and being as economic as possible with leftover dough. Repeat with the other dough piece.
  6. Preheat the oven to gas mark 4 (350° F/180° C). Use any leftover dough to make rocks and boulders for the dinosaurs to rampage through, or press together and re-roll.
  7. Place the monsters on a lightly oiled baking tray with a 1" (2.5cm) or so between them and bake for around 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and cool the biscuits on a wire rack.

Housekeeper’s Perks

For a richer treat, try chocolate orange biscuits. All you need to do is replace the lime peel and juice with one dessert spoon of cocoa powder mixed into half of the flour mix.

For a refreshing citrus variation, try lemon lime biscuits. Simply replace the orange peel and juice with lemon peel and juice.

Scullery Stories

Biscuits are one of the most popular foodstuffs to take on an expedition. They don’t take up much space, and they provide plenty of carbohydrates for energy. The name comes from the Latin bis coquere meaning “cooked twice.” Adventurers and sailors noticed that biscuits softened with age, so in order to maintain crispness on long voyages, hardtack was baked up to four times.

Mechanical Box Cake

Gilded carriages drawn by dark plumed horses arrived one by one, depositing masked revelers cloaked in silk and velvet onto the moonlit steps. It is the Count Von Rottenberg’s birthday, and he has an amazing new device to demonstrate in the cellar of Dr. Ruthven’s Chateau. As guests descend into the gloomy depths, Von Rottenberg’s whirring mahogany and brass device can be seen gleaming through the darkness with a strange glow. The guests cluster around begging for a look, as he ushers them into the chamber of the machine, never again to be seen; although, the Count’s troupe of performing monkeys are now legendary across Europe.

INGREDIENTS

For the Almond Cake

115g (4 oz.) butter

115g (4 oz.) sugar

115g (4 oz.) self-rising flour

2 eggs

30 ml (1 fl. oz.) amaretto [or 30ml (1 fl. oz.) milk and a few drops almond essence]

For the Chocolate Cake

30 ml (1 fl. oz.) milk

115g (4 oz.) chocolate, chopped

115g (4 oz.) butter

115g (4 oz.) sugar

2 eggs

115g (4 oz.) self-rising flour

For the Butter Icing

115g (4 oz.) butter

115g (4 oz.) icing sugar

5ml (1 tsp.) vanilla extract

For the Marzipan Covering

400g (14 oz.) ready made marzipan

20g (3⁄4 oz.) cocoa powder

For the Ganache

100g (31⁄2 oz.) cream

200g (7 oz.) dark chocolate, chopped

For Decoration

Some cogs and gear wheels scrubbed clean in boiling water and dried thoroughly

2 part food-grade silicone molding putty

Brown flower petal paste and chocolate ready-to-roll icing

Edible metallic powders

SPECIAL SUPPLIES

Serrated bread knife

TO MAKE THE ALMOND CAKE

  1. Preheat the oven to gas mark 6 (400° F/200° C) and grease and line a 6" (15cm) square tin.
  2. Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add the flour, eggs and amaretto, and mix until smooth.
  3. Pour the batter into the prepared tin and bake for 30–35 minutes, or until the cake springs back when pressed in the center. Remove from tin and cool on a wire rack.

TO MAKE THE CHOCOLATE CAKE

  1. Heat the milk in the microwave or a small pan until it reaches a boil. Add the chopped chocolate and stir until completely melted.
  2. Cream the butter and sugar together as before, then add all remaining ingredients, including the chocolate mixture. Mix until smooth.
  3. Re-grease and line the 6" (15cm) tin and bake as directed for the almond cake.

TO ASSEMBLE THE CAKE

  1. Make butter icing by beating butter, icing sugar and vanilla together until light and fluffy.
  2. Roll out the marzipan and sprinkle cocoa on top. Roll up like a jelly roll. On a board lightly dusted with icing sugar, knead until thoroughly combined.
  3. Trim the tops of both cakes with a large serrated bread knife. Make sure both cake tops are perfectly level; this will help with the assembling.
  4. Place one cake on top of the other and trim all 4 sides, removing any hard crust edges. Then slice down through both cakes, cutting them into 4 strips. Swap 2 strips of each color, top to bottom, creating a chessboard design.
  5. Remove the top cake. Glue each strip of the bottom cake to its neighbour using butter icing. You don’t need loads of icing, but make sure you go to the edges. Scrape off the excess. Attach all 4 strips together neatly and add a thicker layer of butter icing all over the top.
  6. Glue the top cake strips together with butter icing in the same way and place on top of the bottom cake, maintaining the chess board design. Gently press so all pieces are firmly attached and the cake is nice and square. Place a covering of butter icing over the top and sides, scraping most off as before. This will act as glue for the marzipan. Place the cake on an 8" (20cm) cake board.

TO ICE THE CAKE

  1. On a board dusted with icing sugar, roll out the marzipan to around 1⁄4" (6mm) thickness. Place over the cake and lightly stroke and smooth all over until it covers the cake and board perfectly (see YouTube video for a demonstration). Trim around the edges.
  2. Make ganache by heating the cream until it reaches a boil. Remove from heat and mix in the chopped chocolate. Beat with a wooden spoon until all the chocolate is melted and turns thick and shiny. Leave to cool for about an hour. When cool, pour over the cake, coating it completely. Leave to set.

TO MAKE THE CHOCOLATE COGS AND DECORATION

  1. Mix equal amounts of each part of the food-grade silicone molding putty and knead thoroughly until it is all one color. Form into a shape that is twice as deep and slightly larger in surface area than the object you want to mold.
  2. Take your item and press it face down into the molding putty. Try not to wriggle it as you press, or you may distort the shape. Leave to set for about an hour, then remove the original item.
  3. Create a mixture of half sugar flower petal paste and half ready-to-roll chocolate icing to get a firm modeling dough. Press it into the mold, making sure to fill all the little crevices. Use a sharp knife to trim any excess and ease from the mold.
  4. Using your finger and a small amount of edible metallic powder, gently rub color over the raised areas. You can add subsequent coats if necessary, but only rub on a little at a time. This will keep the recessed areas dark and prevent loose powder from floating about.
  5. To attach the cogs, press them into the not-quite-set ganache. If the ganache is too runny, they will simply slide down, so wait half an hour or so before placing the cogs. If it has set too much, just melt leftover ganache in a little bowl, paint it on the back of the cogs and use it like glue.

Pantry Perfections

If you don’t want to use the molded cogs immediately, they can be kept in an airtight container for up to a month. They make wonderful additions to cupcakes, too.

You don’t have to use chocolate-flavored icing either; why not try lemon for lemon cupcakes or white chocolate for vanilla ones? Just use a molded base that is the same color as your main icing so it will blend in when you place them on your cakes.

Volcano Toffee

When the Society of Investigative Natural Philosophers takes it in turns to host their monthly lecture, they love to impress the other members with a showy dinner, perhaps with fireworks or a display of scientific principles afterwards. Lord Francis Rockett was feted in the society annals when he combined the two in his marvelous tabletop volcano toffee dispenser. In the darkened hall, amid a fog of dry ice, the volcano overflowed, creating rivers of edible molten lava!

Poor cook was at a total loss as what to do with all the left over toffee, and the servants ate nothing else for weeks. This is a far more sensible method and quantity….

INGREDIENTS

15g (1 heaping tsp.) bicarbonate of soda (baking soda)

45ml (3 tbsp.) golden syrup (or corn syrup)

15ml (1 tbsp.) cider vinegar (or malt or white wine vinegar)

Juice of 1⁄2 lemon

75g (23⁄4 oz.) light brown sugar

75g (23⁄4 oz.) white sugar

200g (7oz.) dark chocolate for coating

100g (31⁄2 oz.) red/strawberry chocolate melt (optional)

Red edible glitter flakes (optional)

  1. Grease a piece of baking paper with butter or margarine and use it to line a 7" (18cm) square tin.
  2. Fill a bowl with ice cubes and nestle the lined baking tray inside of it, being careful not to get the baking paper wet. Make sure there is a layer of ice under the tray as well as around the sides.
  3. Measure out the bicarbonate of soda and put to one side.
  4. In a very large pan on low heat, gently stir the golden syrup, vinegar and lemon juice together using a wooden spoon. Continue to stir until the mixture reaches a syrup-like consistency.
  5. Add both sugars and stir until dissolved. Try not to get any on the sides of the pan where it will burn. When the sugar is completely dissolved, stop stirring, turn up the heat and boil hard for 3 minutes. Turn off the heat.
  6. Immediately add the bicarbonate of soda and mix quickly but thoroughly as the toffee bubbles up like a volcano. Do not overmix or it will deflate and become soggy. Be very careful: This mixture is boiling hot!
  7. Very quickly, while it is still aerated and bubbling, pour the mixture into the cold tin and leave to set in the ice cube bath.
  8. When thoroughly set, break into bite-sized pieces and set to the side. Melt chocolate by placing chopped pieces in a microwave-proof bowl and heating for 30 seconds. Stir and repeat if necessary, being careful not to overheat the chocolate.
  9. Dip the broken toffee pieces in the melted chocolate. Cover each piece completely and leave to set on a baking tray.
  10. Once the first layer is set, dip the ends in red chocolate melt and dust with glitter to give the impression of hot rock lava.

Pantry Perfections

When bicarbonate of soda is added to vinegar an extraordinary chemical reaction occurs. This reaction is responsible for creating the honeycomb air pockets in the toffee. If it doesn’t fluff up, it may be because your bicarbonate is too old.

To maintain maximum fluffiness, it’s best to cool the toffee very quickly, hence the tin in the ice bath. If it goes flat and loses its honeycomb-like appearance, it was not cooled quickly enough.

Housekeeper’s Perks

Dipping the toffee in chocolate adds flavor as well as protects it. If you don’t cover it in chocolate, it will quickly become sticky due to prolonged exposure to the air.

Try adorning your toffee with different flavors of chocolate for an extra dimensional thrill; some of Dr. Ruthven’s favorites include the following:

Aetheric Iced Tea and Other Concoctions

Deep within the laboratory something is brewing! Flasks bubble and hiss, and guests are under strict orders not to touch anything! Despite being shunned by society for his bizarre experiments, Doctor Ruthven’s laboratory is a wonderland of extraordinary potions and lotions. He has been long under the surveillance of several freelance monster hunters, whose suspicions were aroused by rumours of peculiar creatures that emerge at dead of night, running into the surrounding forests at full moon. Investigation has so far only revealed a particularly friendly puppy … that glows in the dark.

INGREDIENTS

Per serving:

40ml (11⁄2 oz.) vodka

20ml (3⁄4 oz.) gin

20ml (3⁄4 oz.) light tequila

20ml (3⁄4 oz.) light rum

10ml (1⁄4 oz.) white crème de menthe

40ml (11⁄2 oz.) lemon and lime juice mixed

10ml (1⁄4 oz.) sugar syrup

Cola

Edible gold glitter

TO MAKE THE AETHERIC ICED TEA

  1. Place a good handful of ice cubes in a shaker; add all the spirits, the juice and the syrup. Shake vigorously till a frost forms.
  2. Fill a glass with ice cubes. Pour the contents of the shaker over the ice and top up with cola.
  3. Sprinkle edible gold glitter over the drink to serve.

Scullery Stories

The reason this delightful drink is called a tea is all due to prohibition. In order to avoid arrest and imprisonment or heavy fines during the alcohol ban, this mixture—which is, after all, colored a little like tea—was drunk from cups and saucers to try and fool the cops. Even now, I must admit I have always had my suspicions about a few tea-drinking aunts who insist on lemon, not milk….

DNA Daiquiri

Per serving:

50g (13⁄4 oz.) strawberries (frozen)

30ml (1 oz.) white rum (1 UK shot)

30ml (1 oz.) fresh pineapple juice

Lime juice

Icing sugar

The Secrets Behind the DNA Daiquiri

Every living cell has DNA in it, but sometimes it’s a bit tricky to get it out. Strawberries (or any other soft, pulpy fruit like kiwi or melon) make the job a bit easier. Freezing them destroys their cell membranes, which is why they go to mush when you defrost them. It also, quite handily, releases their DNA from the nucleus. The pineapple juice contains enzymes that break down the proteins found in the cell and cleans the DNA up; but if you leave the mixture for too long, the pineapple juice will start to destroy the DNA as well, so don’t hang about!

The Green Fairy

Per serving:

50ml (11⁄2 oz.) absinthe

100ml (31⁄2 oz.) ice cold cream soda

The Secrets Behind the Green Fairy

Louching is the term given to the magical effect of cream soda on absinthe. The particulates in the absinthe with bad solubility (anethol from anise, fennel and star anise) are released from the alcohol, creating a suspension of fine particles clouding the drink. A beautiful opal white bloom appears, spreading slowly through the glass as more cream soda is added, leading to the myth of the magical green fairy.

Gentleman’s Study

Per serving:

20ml (3⁄4 oz.) Kahlua

20ml (3⁄4 oz.) Galliano

10ml (1⁄4 oz.) Baileys Irish Cream

10ml (1⁄4 oz.) single (light) cream

The Secrets Behind the Gentleman’s Study

There is a science behind creating a layered drink like the Gentleman’s Study. Every liquid has its own specific gravity. By discovering the gravity for a series of liquids, it is easy to determine which of them will sink and will need to be layered at the bottom of the glass and which will float to the top! The greater the differences in gravities, the less likely the two liquids are to mix and will instead create nice, clean layers. Chilling the alcohol thoroughly also helps with this.

Glow and Tonic

Per serving:

40ml (11⁄2 oz.) gin

10ml (1⁄4 oz.) Cointreau

150ml (51⁄2 oz.) tonic water

Ice

Garnish (lemon, lime, orange, cucumber etc.)

The Secrets Behind the Glow and Tonic

What gives a Glow and Tonic its lovely blue hue? It’s the quinine contained in the tonic water. Quinine is manufactured from the bark of the Cinchona tree, which originates in Peru. The Cinchona tree has assorted medicinal properties, the most well known being its antimalarial powers, which were known as early as 1631. Missionaries first brought the medicine back from Peru to Europe, leading to its nickname “Jesuit’s bark.” When in mosquito-ridden warmer climes, colonial Victorians would mix the bitter medicine with gin to disguise the taste, and so the gin and tonic was born.

Stripey Stocking

Per serving:

10ml (1⁄4 oz.) EIC poppy syrup

10ml (1⁄4 oz.) Fruiss Violet Syrup

15ml (1⁄2 oz.) De Kuyper Blue Curaco

15ml (1⁄2 oz.) Orchards Peach Schnapps

20ml (3⁄4 oz.) Eristoff Black Vodka

20ml (3⁄4 oz.) Absolut Raspberri vodka

The Secrets Behind the Stripey Stocking

When making a layered drink like the Stripey Stocking, it’s worth noting that different brands of the same spirit will sometimes have different specific gravities, so if something isn’t working, that could well be why! A great deal depends on the percentage of alcohol. As a rough rule of thumb, the higher the alcohol content, the higher it’ll be on the list.

This is a list of some of the most popular and colorful ingredients in gravity order, with the densest at the bottom of the list: