Omen ordered a Coke and sipped it while they waited. The café was small and, apart from Omen, Axelia, and Never, devoid of customers. The owner glared at them from behind the counter, as if he resented their presence. Which was kind of weird.
“So,” Axelia said, in a blatant attempt to dispel the silence, “are either of you ready for the exams?”
“I’m not,” said Omen. “I’m not at all. For ages they were always, like, months away, and then they were weeks away, and then days away …”
Never frowned. “You do realise that’s how time works, right?”
“It’s just, the exams were always at some point in the future, and so long as they stayed at some point in the future that was fine. I had time to study. To do the work. I just didn’t expect them to suddenly start tomorrow.”
“So you’ve been caught unawares,” Never said, “by something you’ve known was coming since forever?”
“Exactly.”
“Well,” said Never, “I’ve known it was coming, and I know how time works, but I’m still not ready. My only consolation is that we’re not in Sixth Year. If this was the Leaving Certificate exams we were facing, the last exams we were ever going to take in school, I’d be ever-so-slightly panicked right now.”
“I’m going to fail,” Axelia said .
“No, you’re not,” Omen responded. “What are you talking about? You’re super-smart.”
“I haven’t been able to study since Duenna’s Sensitive did whatever they did to my head. I haven’t been able to focus.” She started whispering. “And also we witnessed a murder! We shouldn’t have to take exams if we’ve just witnessed a murder!”
“That’s true,” Never said, nodding. “I agree with that. Roarhaven’s just getting too bizarre. I mean, we watch our teacher murder a guy, and then the Supreme Mage comes back to life. What the hell? How are we supposed to get any work done? And did you hear about the dragon?”
Omen almost spat out his Coke. “There’s a dragon?”
“It was on a news report on the Network last night. A bunch of sorcerers in Norway have been sent out hunting after a dragon was spotted eating sheep, or cows, or whatever they have in Norway.”
“Bears,” said Axelia. “And elk. And little foxes that are so cute. Is the dragon eating the little foxes?”
“The news report didn’t say,” Never replied. “My point is, the world is weird and it’s getting weirder and we’re expected to do exams? Totally ridiculous.”
All three of them straightened up when Skulduggery and Valkyrie walked in. Skulduggery gestured, and two extra chairs slid towards the table. They sat.
“Sorry we’re late,” Valkyrie said. “Skulduggery had to go home to change his suit because he lost his hat in a wall and he couldn’t possibly not wear a hat for an hour or two.”
Skulduggery looked at her. “You sound annoyed.”
“You didn’t have to change your entire outfit just because you picked up another hat.”
“But it’s an ensemble.”
“The suit you had been wearing is the exact same shade of blue as this one.”
“Not the exact same.”
“It’s the same colour, Skulduggery. ”
“If you ignore the subtle difference.”
“You’ll have to order something if you want to stay here,” the owner said from behind the till.
“Right,” Valkyrie said, sighing. “I’ll have a cappuccino, please.”
The owner’s scowl deepened. “Don’t do cappuccinos.”
“An Americano, then.”
“Don’t do those, either.”
“Espresso.”
“No.”
“Do you serve coffee?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of coffee?”
“Black coffee, or black coffee with milk.”
“A black coffee, then.” Valkyrie said.
“All out of black coffee.”
“What do you have?”
“Black coffee with milk.”
“You have black coffee with milk, but no black coffee on its own?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I’ll have a black coffee with milk, please.”
“OK.”
“And hold the milk.”
“OK.”
She smiled at them all. “Sorry about that. Omen, you—”
“All out of milk,” said the owner.
Valkyrie looked over. “So what? I asked you to hold the milk.”
“I can’t hold it if I don’t have it.”
“Just give me the black coffee.”
“I don’t have black coffee.”
“Give me the black coffee with milk without the milk.”
The owner paused. Considered it. “No,” he said at last. “You can have hot chocolate or water or a fizzy drink or a juice. The only juice we have is grapefruit, but we’re all out of that. ”
“I won’t have anything, thanks,” Valkyrie said, turning back to the table.
“If you’re not going to buy anything, you’ll have to leave.”
“Well, Jesus, what’s the cheapest thing you sell?”
“Probably tap water.”
“Then I’ll have a glass of tap water.”
“Do you want it cold or lukewarm?”
“Cold.”
“It only comes lukewarm.”
Valkyrie bit her lip. “That’s fine.” Her hand crackled with energy, but she smiled, and the crackling faded. “Omen,” she said, “you witnessed a murder last night, is that right?”
“Uh, yes, we all did,” Omen said, indicating his friends. “We were all there. Like I told you on the phone, we saw Mr Chicane push a guy into … Well, a hidden door opened in the West Tower and he pushed him in and he … It was a long drop, basically.”
“Did Chicane see you?”
“No.”
“We looked into his past,” Skulduggery said, “and we’re fairly certain he is who he says he is.”
“But we saw him kill that guy,” Axelia said.
“Undoubtedly, he left some things off his CV, such as the killing-people thing. But it seems he did attend the university he says he attended – part-time, at least – and he did do the things that are listed in his file. So he’s a real teacher.”
“Who kills people,” Valkyrie added. “But, apart from verifying the facts, we couldn’t find out much else about him. We contacted some of the people he has down as references, and they’ve worked with him, but not for any great length of time.”
“Everything about him, in fact, seems to be part-time,” Skulduggery said. “There’s nothing permanent about him. Nothing settled.”
“That’s true of a lot of serial killers, isn’t it?” Never asked.
“It is,” said Skulduggery. “But we don’t think he’s a serial killer – or at least not only a serial killer. We’re interested in his connection to Principal Duenna and, obviously, his method of murder.”
“Pushing,” said Omen.
“I’m referring more to the shaft the victim was pushed into , as per your account.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“We sneaked into the school and examined the wall,” Valkyrie said. “It looks perfectly normal.”
“It opened up, though,” Axelia responded, eyes widening. “I swear.”
Valkyrie smiled. “We believe you. It just means a stronger kind of magic is at work here – which makes things even more interesting.”
The owner came over, put a chipped glass of cloudy water in front of Valkyrie. “That’ll be eight fifty,” he said.
She looked up at him. “Eight euro and fifty cents? For tap water?”
“Yes.”
“For dirty tap water?”
“The tap water is fine. It’s the glass that’s dirty.”
“The glass is chipped.”
“It’s dirty, too.”
Valkyrie nodded. “I’m not paying.”
“You have to.”
“No, I don’t.”
“I’ve already poured your drink. I can’t put it back in the tap.”
“You can pour it down the drain.”
“I’m not pouring eight euro and fifty cents down the drain. It’s wasteful.”
Valkyrie stood. “And I’m not paying eight fifty for dirty water in a dirty glass.”
Now the owner was looking up at her. “It’s also chipped.”
The café door opened and Miss Gnosis came in, walking towards them with a raised eyebrow. “Making more friends, sweetie? ”
“Always,” Valkyrie growled.
“Could I have a tea, please?” Miss Gnosis asked sweetly.
The owner shook his head. “Don’t have tea.”
“That’s OK,” Miss Gnosis said, “I’ll wait.” She pulled up another chair.
The owner frowned. “Wait for what?”
“Sorry?” Miss Gnosis said.
“What are you waiting for?”
“I’m waiting for my girlfriend to sit down. Valkyrie?”
Valkyrie hesitated, then sat.
“Thank you,” Miss Gnosis said, and the owner wandered back to his counter, his frown deepening. She turned to Omen and his friends. “Now then, are you all ready for exams tomorrow?” When none of them responded, she sighed. “So, instead of studying, the three of you are here without a textbook between you.”
“We’re traumatised,” Never muttered.
“Speaking of which, you’re sure it was Mr Chicane you saw last night? Absolutely certain?”
“Positive,” said Never.
“Do you know him well?” Valkyrie asked.
Miss Gnosis shook her head. “Barely at all. He seemed to be a nice enough guy. A bit boring, maybe. He’s a modules teacher so he’s not a permanent member of staff, and I know some in the faculty have been getting annoyed because of all the days he’s missed.”
“Tell us everything,” Skulduggery said to Omen. “Actually, wait, before you do, a little heads-up, as it were – there’s another me running around. It’s me from the future. It’s a long and complicated story, but he calls himself Cadaver Cain and he’s me, but he looks nothing like me – his skull is completely different, so you should have no trouble telling us apart. But, just to be sure, when we meet from this moment on, you’ll know it’s really me if I say, It’s a cold day in hell. Wear your mittens . Understood? ”
“You from the future?” Never said.
“Yes.”
“From how far in the future?”
“Seventy-two years. And I know what you’re thinking, but no, I am not a robot.”
Axelia frowned. “Why would you be a robot?”
“Because it’s the future. Why wouldn’t I be a robot?”
“I don’t understand.”
“I travelled to the future for good and reasonable reasons,” Valkyrie said, “and I accidentally brought Skulduggery’s future self back with me. That’s the whole story.”
“You can time-travel?” Omen said. “People can time-travel now? Can I time-travel?”
“No, you cannot, but what you can do is tell us about this murder you witnessed and everything that led up to it.”
Omen hesitated.
“Is it me,” said Never, “or does the fact that we witnessed a murder sound really boring now that we’re sitting at a table with a time-traveller?”
“Omen,” said Valkyrie. “Speak.”
“So, um, OK,” said Omen. “Axelia’s friend, Bella, was expelled because she saw someone acting suspiciously in the West Tower two weeks ago. She told Axelia about it before she left, but then someone wiped Axelia’s mind.”
“Well,” Axelia said, “not all of it. I just can’t remember what Bella told me, and also I was finding it hard to care about any of it.”
Miss Gnosis frowned. “You’re going to have to get that checked out, Axelia. I don’t wish to alarm you, but this is a potentially serious issue. It’s obviously done some damage, and, for all we know, it could still be doing damage. I’d like Miss Wicked to take a peek, see if there’s anything she can do.”
Axelia looked worried. “And if there’s not?”
“Then you’ll have to seek medical help. I know this sounds scary, and I’m probably being overcautious, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, isn’t it?”
Axelia nodded.
“Good girl.”
“Do you know who did it?” Valkyrie asked.
“I don’t,” Axelia said. “All I know is that it happened when I went to see Duenna in her office.”
“I never liked Duenna,” Miss Gnosis muttered.
“You’ll have to keep an eye on her,” Skulduggery said. “You’re the only one in a position to do so.”
“I think we can bring Arabella Wicked into this, though, can’t we?” Miss Gnosis asked. “We can trust her.”
“Best not,” Valkyrie said. “The more people who know, the greater the chance of someone else finding out.”
“You just don’t like her.”
“I neither like nor dislike your beautiful ex-girlfriend who’s still in love with you and who happens to be taller than me,” Valkyrie said.
Miss Gnosis nodded. “That’s convincing.”
“I have a question,” said Never. “Now that we’ve told you what’s been going on, and what we saw, you can go in and arrest everyone, right? You’re Arbiters – you can arrest whoever you want.”
“We could,” Skulduggery replied, “and we could get a Sensitive to poke around inside their heads, and that might get us the answers we need. But more than likely Chicane and Duenna and whoever wiped Axelia’s mind—”
“Again,” Axelia said, “not all of it.”
“—would have some significant psychic blocks in place. Getting through them would take time, time in which any co-conspirators might accelerate whatever plans they have in motion. The best thing to do at this stage is to uncover as much as we can before we start hauling people in.”
“By co-conspirators,” Axelia said, “you mean the Supreme Mage, don’t you? ”
“Acting Supreme Mage, and I do, yes.”
“I have another question,” said Never. “Is it true, then? Creed actually came back to life?”
Valkyrie grunted. “It’s true.”
“And he’s OK? He’s not a zombie or something weird?”
“He appears to have been returned to full health,” Skulduggery said. “As annoying as that may be.”
“So what are you going to do about Chicane?” Omen asked. “What’s your next step?”
Valkyrie glanced at Skulduggery before answering. “Actually … it might not be as simple as that. You might have to take the lead on this one.”
Omen looked at her. “Usually when I bring you something like this, you immediately run in and start hitting people.”
“And that is still our favourite method of operation,” Skulduggery said, “and, if we weren’t expecting to be embroiled in a ridiculous amount of trouble in the next few days, we would surely storm this particular Bastille.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“The Bastille is a small island nation off Paraguay,” Valkyrie informed him.
“It most decidedly is not,” Skulduggery said. “Omen, our primary reason for meeting with you today is to actually ask for your help.”
Omen swallowed.
“As you know,” Skulduggery continued, “whenever there’s the slightest chance of danger rearing its ugly yet strangely alluring head, we tend to advise you to run in the opposite direction.”
Omen nodded. “And I’ve appreciated that, I have. I’ve discovered that I’m just not cut out for action and adventure.”
“Yet now we must ask that you run towards danger.”
“Oh,” said Omen.
“Run towards it,” said Valkyrie, “but not into it. Run alongside it, maybe. ”
“Yes,” Skulduggery said. “If you could somehow manage to be danger-adjacent at the very most, that would be ideal. You are aware of the Kith, yes? Damocles Creed is planning an Activation on a grand scale on Draíocht, in nine days’ time, that will send out a wave of energy that will transform a million people into Kith, and kill some seven billion more, in his search for the Child of the Faceless Ones.”
Axelia went pale. “He’s going to kill seven billion people?”
“We’re going to stop him,” Valkyrie assured her.
“But that’s what he’s planning to do?”
“The killing-seven-billion thing is more of a side effect than an actual goal, but yes.”
“Right,” Axelia said quietly. “OK, this might seem very childish and stupid and immature, and you might all laugh at me, but I seriously think that if we call my parents they’ll know what to do.”
“Hey,” Miss Gnosis said, looking her in the eyes, “trust Valkyrie and Skulduggery, OK? They’ve saved the world a lot, and they’ll do it again now. We’re going to be fine.”
“This is very true, Axelia,” said Skulduggery. “If anyone can do it, it’s probably us. But we are, as we said, going to need your help. To generate the Activation Wave, Creed will use Seven Pillars to form a massive sigil in Roarhaven called the Ensh-Arak. He’ll also need some way to focus that power, and a monster is involved, or at least the monster’s eye is, so that’s something else we’ll have to watch out for. Is everyone clear so far?”
“What kind of monster?” asked Never.
“We don’t know,” said Valkyrie.
“What’s the monster going to do?”
“We don’t know that, either.”
“How is Creed going to focus the power?” Miss Gnosis asked.
“Again, we don’t know,” said Valkyrie. “Everyone seems to be focusing on what we don’t know – how about focusing on what we do? ”
“Good idea, Valkyrie,” said Skulduggery. “Those Seven Pillars are in the High Sanctuary, the Dark Cathedral, locations on Carnivore Row, Razorblade Alley, Wallow Street, Suture Street, and Corrival Academy. We need to ensure that at least one of these Pillars is sabotaged.”
“And seeing as how you’re in the school anyway,” Valkyrie said to Omen, “we figured you could focus your efforts there.”
“I’m sorry,” said Never, “but what does a Pillar look like?”
“When it’s active,” Skulduggery said, “it will most likely be a massive column of energy, so it will need adequate space.”
Valkyrie said, “The one we found in the Dark Cathedral was basically a gigantic chimney rising up through the middle of the whole building – so that’s what you’d be looking for.”
“The West Tower could be a gigantic chimney thing,” Omen said, eyes widening. “So does that mean the stuff that’s going on with us is linked to what’s going on with you?”
Skulduggery nodded. “Very likely.”
Never frowned. “But, if the West Tower is the Pillar, why is Chicane throwing people into it?”
“We don’t know,” Skulduggery admitted. “We don’t know much, as you’ve probably realised. A lot of this is pure speculation.”
Omen straightened in his chair. “I don’t think I can blow up the school based on speculation.”
“What?” Valkyrie said quickly. “No. No blowing up the school. We don’t know how Corrival becomes a Pillar, so you’ve got to find that out. And, when you do, you need to find a way to put it out of action. Destroy the Pillar, Omen, don’t blow up the whole school.”
Omen sat back, relieved.
“So while these schoolkids are doing that,” Miss Gnosis said, “what are the wildly irresponsible adults going to be doing?”
Valkyrie nudged Skulduggery. “I think she’s talking to you.”
“We’ll be continuing our investigation into who tried to kill us and how they’re connected to this whole thing,” he said. “There’s also the slight possibility that we may be arrested on a charge of conspiracy to commit various and sundry crimes, but I can’t be sure about that one.”
Miss Gnosis glared at Valkyrie. “Arrested?”
“Possibly arrested,” Valkyrie clarified, “which is completely different to definitely arrested, but a close relative of probably won’t be arrested, so you really have nothing to worry about.”
The door opened and Detective Rylent walked in with a load of City Guard officers trailing after him.
“Ooooh,” Valkyrie said, “yeah, we’re definitely getting arrested.”