I have often said that there’s a great similarity between Vikings, Navy SEALs, and, yes, even Viking vampire angels, all of which are featured in this book. It struck me especially when listening to Shane Patton (actor Alexander Ludwig) recite this “poem” as a young Navy SEAL in the movie The Lone Survivor. (And, by the way, did you know that Ludwig plays Bjorn, Ragnar Lothbrok’s son, in the History Channel’s Vikings series? Talk about coincidence!)
Variations on this anonymous ballad have been around for years, and it seems to me that, with a little word substitution, it could just as well be “The Navy SEAL Ballad,” or “The Viking Ballad,” or “The Vangel Ballad.” Long-boatin’ for parachutin’. Fang-mouthed for hairy-chested. Hit a battle-axe warrior with a small hatchet for shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet. Been to three pygmy picnics to Been a-Viking three times.
Enjoy!
THE FROGMAN BALLAD
Been around the world twice, talked to everyone once,
I’ve seen two white whales hump, been to three pygmy picnics, I even know a man in Thailand with a wooden dick.
I’ve pushed more peter, more sweeter, and more completer than any other peter-pusher around.
I’m a hard-bodied, hairy-chested, rootin, tootin, shootin’, parachutin’, scuba-diving, KA-BAR-carrying, Rolex-wearing FROGMAN, last of the bare-knuckled webfoot warriors. There ain’t nothing I can’t do. No sky too high, no sea too rough, no muff too tough.
Learned a lot of lessons in my life. Never shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet.
Drove a lot of trucks. Even those big mothers that bend and go CHOOSH CHOOSH when you step on the brakes.
Anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards.
I’m a lover, I’m a fighter, I’m a UDT/SEAL diver. I’ll wine, dine, intertwine and then sneak out the back door when the refueling is done. If you’re feeling froggy, then you better jump because this Frogman has been there, done that and is going back for more.
Hoo-yah!