While I was in prison, I started a journal to record some of the unbelievable things I went through. I thought that one day I might show this journal to my children and my grandchildren. I never dreamed that a book about my experiences would be published for the whole world to read. Over the past year, I’ve learned that putting together a book is an enormous undertaking. Luckily I had the benefit of working with really wonderful dedicated and talented individuals.
First, I am indebted to my legal team from American University’s Washington College of Law who fought so hard for my asylum and who kept me from giving up hope all those months in prison. I am especially grateful to Karen Musalo, who was my tireless champion, and to Layli Miller Bashir, who told my story to whoever would listen and kept my case from falling through the cracks. Thanks also to David Shaffer, Nileema Pargaonker, Sidney Lebowitz, Denise Thomasson, and Richard Boswell for their help and moral support. Also, I am deeply grateful to Surita Sandosham and Jessica Neuwirth of Equality Now who helped see me through those darkest days in prison and, after my release, helped me establish myself in my new country. I would also like to express my deep gratitude to the Bashir family – Abbas, Irma, Roshan, and Dwight – for making me a part of their family following my release, and especially to Roshan, who provided me with badly needed medical care. I also want to thank the Miller family – Larry, Carole, Irene, Natasha, Naysan, and Langdon – for their comfort. Thanks also to Roni Dodonne, Mimi Ramsey, and the countless individuals who have reached out to a total stranger and whose visits, letters, photographs, and donations penetrated my isolation and made me feel loved and wanted. Their outpouring of affection and concern taught me that the America I longed to live in was not just a dream. Thanks, too, to my African sisters who adopted me in prison, shared my pain, and nursed me through my serious illnesses; and to Susan Toler, who helped me to recognize who I really am.
I am indebted to two remarkable women at Dell, Leslie Schnur and Cherise Davis Grant, for their dedication to telling my story, their editorial help, and their friendship. Thanks to my agent, Margret McBride, for the tremendous work she and her staff have done and for believing in me. I am especially grateful to Jacob Cohn, my attorney and friend, who has been instrumental in guiding me through the process of writing this book. His wise guidance and support, both professionally and personally, have been invaluable. I’d also like to thank Linda Steinman of Bantam Doubleday Dell for the many laughter-filled hours we shared while going over the manuscript.
I was particularly fortunate to have Gini Kopecky as my collaborator. English is not my first language, and many of my memories were painful to recall and difficult to share. Her warmth and caring during our many long talk sessions were a comfort. Working closely with me and Layli, she also helped us decide how to present my story, did the research needed to fill in parts of it, and helped us put it in writing so I could read it for the first time myself. For these and other contributions to this endeavor, I thank her. Thanks also to Marc Wallace for coming up with a great title for this book.
I was equally fortunate to have Beth Rashbaum as my manuscript editor. She condensed and shaped the manuscript into the book you see published today. She was able to shape the material in such a way as to give full voice to my feelings and my experience. I thank her for her dedication over many long months, her patience with the inevitable complications of working on such a complex project involving so many people, and most of all her unerring good judgment regarding the tone, texture, and pacing of my story.
Finally, I want to thank my family back in Africa for their support. To my sister Ayisha, you are the best sister on earth. I love you.