I spent the last two days swallowing past the gripping tightness clogging my throat, unable to sleep, eat…breathe. Could I have been so wrong about Cole? That underneath it all, he’s not a good man. I can’t believe that. I just can’t. My heart won’t let me.
Then why did he go off with a bunny as I stood there watching?
“Come on, you have to eat,” Jess says as she slides a slice of pizza onto a plate and hands it to me.
I finish the wine in my glass and gratefully accept the food, even though I haven’t had an appetite since the night of the hockey game. I’ve been staying with Jess for the last two days, trying to get my head on straight before I go back to my place, to the bed Cole and I shared before he walked out of my life. But I have to go back soon and get my head back in the game. I have books to write. Bills to pay.
A laugh catches in my throat. Isn’t that how this all started with Cole?
Started and ended.
My editor emailed me yesterday, looking for a synopsis, and I have to figure out a plot before I lose this gig. But when it comes right down to it, I’m not sure I can sit in front of my laptop and write without thinking of Cole, and everything we’ve been through.
As a bone-deep weariness settles into my body, my phone pings. I exchange a look with Jess, and she reaches for it first. “It’s Cason.” She hands me the phone and I read his message out loud.
“You coming to the game tonight?”
I stare at the phone. How can I not be there for my brother? Heck, we talked about me going on the road with him. Not only will it be great for our relationship, it would certainly help me come up with hockey stories.
“You going?” Jess asks.
Before I can answer her, Cason messages again. You need to come. Tell me you’ll be there. I’ll get you and Jess seats behind the bench.
“He wants me to come. He says I need to, and that he has seats for both of us.”
“That’s weird. He’s never needed you to come before.”
I shrug. “We’re working on our relationship.”
Jess nods. “Okay, I’ll go with you, but so help me, if Cole so much as looks at you, I’m going down on that ice and slamming his face into the boards.”
I shake my head. “You can’t do that.”
“Oh, I can. I just shouldn’t.”
“Jess—”
“No guy is going to hurt my best friend and get away with it.”
I exhale heavily and rest my head against the sofa. “I knew what I was getting into when I started this, Jess. We were hate fucking, nothing more.” Too bad my heart saw it differently. Thought we had something real.
Your heart is right.
She waves a dismissive hand. “I don’t care. He turned on his Playmaker charm. How could a girl not fall for that? This is all his fault.”
“That’s the thing though. Yes, he can be charming when he’s in Playmaker mode, but he’s also a cocky, arrogant bastard in that mode, too. Sure, the crowd loves it. But you know what, that’s not the guy I fell for.”
She gives me an odd look. “Why are you defending him?”
I can’t tell her too much without giving away Cole’s secrets. He’s a private guy, and I respect that. Yes, he’s a showboat on the ice, but that’s an act to prevent the world from seeing who he really is. He doesn’t think anyone would like that guy. But I do. I love that guy.
“Because you don’t really know who he is.”
“Then who is he?”
“He’s so sweet,” I say, and hug a pillow to my chest. “He’s funny, caring, an all-around nice guy. He doesn’t let many people in but when he does, he’d do anything for them.”
Like give Kenny a black eye. Make me get back on the ice.
“Nina, I know you’re in love with him, but he’s clearly not in love with you, or he wouldn’t have left with that girl. Maybe you’re mistaken about who he really is.”
“I’m not,” I say adamantly. “When Cole is just being Cole, he’s the most amazing man in the world. That’s the guy I fell in love with.”
I take in the concerned look on my friend’s face, and I can’t blame her for being worried. She was right by my side when Cole pulled that little stunt with the bunny—and then met my gaze to be sure I saw the entire exchange. Why the hell did he do that?
“I’m not wrong about him, Jess.”
“Then maybe you need to figure out why he did what he did.”
“Something is off about him leaving with that girl.”
“Why? He’s done it a million times before.”
“I know you’re right, but we were at a place…” No way could Cole touch me, kiss me the way he did—make love to me—if there wasn’t more between us. So if there is more, if he’s feeling everything I’m feeling, then why is he running? Especially after I bought him that gift—showed him I knew and liked the guy he really was. That he didn’t need to pretend around me.
I go over everything in my head again. Was he afraid that guy was too damaged to be liked…loved? That he couldn’t even keep his mother around, so why would anyone else stay? Cole hurt me on purpose, pushed me away for a reason, of that I’m sure.
“I think I know,” I say past the knot in my throat.
“Want to enlighten me?”
My stomach coils tight, my heart aching for the young boy who lost his mother, had no one to protect him. “He’s leaving me before I can leave him.”
“And if you’re wrong?”
“If I’m right…”
Her eyes lock on mine. “Is he worth fighting for?”
My heart jumps in my chest. “Absolutely.”
“Then you need to talk to him, smack some sense into his head. Give him another concussion if you have to.”
Hope and excitement welling up inside me, I laugh, and jump from the sofa. I’m in the same frayed jean shorts and tank top that I wore that first day Cole and I watched hockey together. “Should I change?”
“No, you look hot.”
“But I thought you said I looked like hell in these.”
“Yeah, I know.” Her grin is evil when she adds, “There isn’t a guy in a hundred-mile radius that isn’t going to notice you, Nina.”
“If only my brother would stop beating them up.”
“What?”
“All these years I thought guys didn’t like me, overlooked me, only to find out they were afraid of Cason and the beating he’d give them if they so much as looked at me the wrong way.”
“Ohmigod, that brother of yours. Maybe I need to knock him into the boards.” She has a strange look on her face as she jumps off the sofa, and I’m left with the impression that knocking my brother into the boards holds all kinds of sexual innuendo, but that can’t be right, because those two have never really liked each other. She goes to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of champagne. “Come on, let’s get ready for the game.”
“Champagne?”
“Yeah, I always drink champagne after my team wins.”
“I didn’t know that.”
She puts the bottle into her big purse. “That’s because you never come with me.”
“I was at the first playoff game.”
“You were in no mood for champagne then,” she says and usher me outside.
An hour later, Jess and I are settling into our seats and game two of seven is about to begin. The lights dim and the players all come onto the ice. I zero in on Cole, and note the way he’s checking the stands.
Is he looking for me?
My heart gives a little leap at that thought and before I know it, the game is underway. Beside me, Jess is enthralled, and cursing up a storm at the opposing team. Good God, how are we friends? By the time the second period is over, and my team— Wait, when did I start thinking of the Settle Storms as my team? No idea, but my team is up by a score of one, thanks to a fantastic play made by Cole. And of course, like he once said, he couldn’t have done it alone. He has a team behind him.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” I say to Jess, as I wiggle uncomfortably in my chair.
“You can’t.” She grabs my hand tight and hold me in my seat.
“But I have to go.”
“I don’t want you to leave your seat.”
I crinkle my nose. “Why not?”
“Just…third period is about to start.”
“But I have to go.”
“Wait until the end,” she pleads, and I stare at her. Why is she acting so weird?
Cole comes back onto the ice, his helmet in his hand—that’s when I get a really good look at him, see his black eye. “Ohmigod,” I say to Jess. “What the hell?”
Behind us, I hear two girls talking about The Playmaker. “Did you hear?” one of the girls says to the other.
“Oh, I heard.”
I turn around and glance at the blonde and brunette as they gossip. “What did you hear?” I ask.
They stare at me for a moment, like they’re trying to figure out who I am, but then the brunette says, “That Cannon turned Claire down the other night, and then he got into a fight with Cason. That’s how he got that black eye.”
My heart nearly seizes.
He turned Claire down?
“Yeah, he led her on in front of us all, then he ditched her. What a jerk,” she says.
“Typical Playmaker,” the blonde says, like she’s not bothered by his behavior at all, and would take her turn with him if given the opportunity.
I glance at Jess, who’s watching me, wide-eyed. “I…uh…think your theory is right.”
I suck in a breath to get my heart racing again. “I need to talk to him.”
“I know, but it will have to wait. They’re about to start.”
Desperate to go to the bathroom, and needing a minute to myself, I stand. “I’ll be right back.”
Jess looks at me, her eyes pleading. “Hurry.”
Good Lord, what’s gotten in to her?
I head down the hall toward the bathrooms, and a measure of unease trickles through my veins. Cason gave Cole a black eye. I guess he must have figured out what was going on between the two of us. Not too hard, considering the gift I asked my brother to give his best friend, one that showed I knew who Cole was beneath the jersey, and there was only one way I could know that—by stripping him bare.
Would Cole back off like all the other guys?
As I mull that over, I hear the crowd go crazy behind me. I turn—and find Cole rushing toward me, stick still in hand.
I gasp as he closes the distance between us and hovers over me. “Cole, what the hell?” I say, my voice breathless, panicked. I look over his shoulders, see his teammates and the ref on the ice, thrown off by his departure. They’re not the only ones.
“Don’t leave,” he says.
What is going on with him?
My heart thumps in my ears as I point to the little girls’ room. “I was going to the bathroom.”
His breath gusts out of him, his body less tense.
“What are you doing, Cole? You’re going to get kicked out of the game, and hockey is the most important thing in the world to you.”
He stands there a second longer, shifting from one foot to the other, like he’s not sure what to say.
“Cole?”
“Just promise me you won’t leave.” His mouth dips into a frown. “I won’t blame you if you do, I’m an expert asshole, and I don’t deserve for you to stay.”
“I’ll stay.” I point behind him, my nerves firing, worried sick about him blowing this game. “Now go. No matter what’s going on between us, I’d never want to do anything to come between you and your game.”
“I know, and that’s why I lo—”
“Cannon, for fuck’s sake, get back here!” Cason yells, and Cole’s head jerks around.
“I have to go, but don’t go anywhere.” He dashes back to the ice.
I stand there, a complete mess as he disappears. What was he going to say to me?
Every nerve in my body leaping, I hurry to the bathroom and afterward make my way back to my seat. The game is underway as I slide in beside Jess, my mind racing a million miles an hour. Jess grabs my hand and I turn to her.
“What the hell did he say?”
The two girls are whispering about me over my shoulder but I ignore them. “He thought I was leaving. He told me not to go.” She nods, and I don’t miss the little smile on her face. “What?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she says, and looks back at the ice. “Let’s watch.”
I can’t focus on the game, not after my run in with Cole in the hall. I numbly watch the plays, the clock tick down, Cole make the winning shot. The crowd goes crazy but when he seeks me out, my heart crashes.
I love him so much.
The opposing team leaves the ice while the Shooters skate around, sticks in the air, celebrating their victory. When the cheers finally die down, Cole skates up to one of the local news stations filming the game, and takes the cordless mic as Cason skates toward me. Cason stays on the ice, a grin on his face, as Cole holds his hands up to quiet everyone.
“What the hell?” I whisper.
The place grows so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
He puts the mic to his mouth. “Nina,” he says, then exhales slowly, like he’s letting out a long-held breath, one that’s held years of pain, secrets and demons. Jess grips my hand and holds me tight. “As you know, I’m an expert asshole, also known as The Playmaker.”
The crowd goes crazy, and he grins at them, but then something happens. His expression changes, from that of The Playmaker to that of Cole just being Cole—the man I love. My heart crashes harder against my chest as his shield falls away.
“You’re the girl I never thought I could have, thought I never deserved. The girl I’ve wanted since I was a teenager. I’m sorry I was such a dick. You deserve better than that from me.”
“Oh my God,” Jess says, and starts jumping up and down beside me. “He’s doing it!”
“I love you, Nina. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember,” he says, his arms wide open, everything about him honest and vulnerable. “I always believed hockey was the most important thing in the world to me, but man, I was wrong.”
“Cole,” I whisper under my breath as my brother leans against the boards and grins up at me. OMG, he knew Cole was going to do this. He was in on it. Tears prick my eyes and I try to hold them back.
“If you give me a chance,” he begins, his voice breaking, “I promise to be the man you need. I know you said no guy was as good as the ones you write about, but I want to try. Will you give me a chance, my Pretty BallerNina?”
“Cole,” I say again, my heart beating too fast as Jess gives me a little nudge to set me in motion. I make a move toward the ice, and my brother skates over and helps me on. Another play comes onto the ice, and hands something to Cole before skates up to me. “You’re better than any man I could ever write about, Cole,” I say.
He touches my chin, his warm gaze moving over my face as I lift my eyes to him. “You don’t hate me?”
I take a long, steadying breath. “You hurt me, Cole.”
The sadness on his face guts me. “I know, and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
“Luckily, I can…and you should know, I never stopped believing in you.” I poke him in the chest. “You, Cole. Not The Playmaker.”
He puts the mic back to his mouth. “Did you hear that, everyone? My girl believes in me.” He jabs his thumb into his chest. The crowd goes crazy, and I glance around, having momentarily forgotten we were in the rink. His expression is no longer guarded as he looks at me. “You came to me asking for hockey lessons, and I had a few conditions.”
My body warms as I recall those conditions. “I remember.”
“One was that we were monogamous, no one else while we were together.”
“I agreed to that.”
“But I made a stupid rookie mistake.”
My heart jumps. What’s going on? He told me he loved me. What mistake did he make?
“One of those conditions should have been that I get to give you hockey lessons until we’re one hundred years old.”
My heart stalls. “What do you mean?”
He drops to one knee in front of me and his features soften.
“Cole…” I say, choking on his name.
He holds his hand out, revealing what his teammate had just handed to him. A ring box. “I want it all with you, Nina.” He opens the box, and showcases the most beautiful ring I’d ever set eyes on. “A house, a family, kids…a home. I want to grow old together.”
I stare at the man I’m in love with, the most private person I know. He doesn’t let the world see the real him, yet here he is, exposing his true self to the world, for me.
As my heart swells, I instantly realize two things: happily ever after does exist for me, and the plot for my hot hockey romance is going to be a very personal one.
“Say yes,” he says.
I drop to my knees, and he pulls me to him. “One condition,” I say.
“Oh, now you have a condition, do you?” He flashes a grin toward the crowd and they go crazy once more.
I lean in to him, put my hand over the mic, and whisper, “You continue to help me spice up my books. This hockey series is going to be hot, and you did mention something about tying me up. I believe you’re going to need to follow through with that.”
“What did she say?” someone in the crowd yells.
Cole clears his throat. “Sorry, folks, Nina’s brother is here and there are some things he should never hear.” He points to his eyes. “One black eye from my best friend is enough. Crazy Callaghan has a mean right hook.” The crowd laughs. “But Nina is worth the fight.”
The crowd laughs harder as Cason skates over. Cole slides the ring onto my finger, then pulls me up with him. The two men hug, and Jess comes onto the ice with the bottle of champagne.
I stare at her. “Ohmigod, you knew.”
She gives me a grin. “Yeah, Cason called me.”
“But you wanted to castrate Cole.”
Cole makes a face and puts his hand over his crotch.
“Yeah, I did. He hurt you, and if he didn’t do right by you tonight, he’d be walking out of here with one nut.” I laugh as Jess hugs me. “I needed to make sure he was the one you were willing to fight for, Nina.”
“He is.”
“Good.” Jess uncorks the champagne, and it sprays all over us.
“You’re all wet,” Cole says, and brushes his thumb over my face.
“Isn’t that the story of our life?” I whisper, and he grins, knowing exactly what I mean.
“The story of our life is just beginning, Nina. And you know what? Real love stories never have endings.”
I blink up at him. “Now that I’m going to have to use in a book.”
His grin is wicked, full of sexual promises. “You know I’m always here to help you out with your stories.”
I kiss him with all the love I have in me. “I love you, Cole.”
“I love you too, Nina.” He glances at my brother. “Get in here, Cason.” Cole pulls him in for a hug, and my heart fills as I get sandwiched between my brother, and the man I’m going to marry…my little family…all together again.