Cassy could not understand why she was so shaky as she waited outside the penthouse suite. She had asked herself the same question at least a half-dozen times. Still she had no answer. She had a single reason for coming and that was to show him once and for all that he could not change her mind. Nothing more.
Did her anxiety stem from being back in this suite—a place that held so many tender memories? She ignored the fine tremor in her hands as she waited.
“Good evening, Miss Cassy.” The huge man with dark-brown skin towered over her. His eyes seemed older than time itself, as he looked at her with a mixture of compassion and understanding. Ben Bradford and his wife, Marian, had always been kind to her, seeing to her every comfort whenever she had been with Gordan.
Cassy’s smile was filled with warmth as she held out her hand to him. “Good evening, Bradford. How have you been?”
Giving her hand a squeeze, he said, “We’ve missed you. Marian and I are both well.”
Cassy nodded her thanks when she could not voice it.
“Your family—all is well?”
“Yes. My little nephew is getting so big.”
He grinned. “Wonderful. Please, come in.”
As Cassy moved forward, her eyes went to the tall man walking toward her. He looked exactly what he was—a self-assured multimillionaire. He wore a custom-made dark-green suit that emphasized his long, powerfully built frame, from wide shoulders, trim midsection to seemingly endless long, hard, muscled legs. His feet were encased in custom-made butter-soft Italian leather loafers.
A fine, pale yellow linen shirt had been left open at his throat—his only concession to the warmth of the night. It drew her attention to the beauty of his dark skin. She found herself wondering if she saw a few more strands of gray at his temples or in his well-groomed mustache and beard. If so, the gray only added to the man’s dangerous allure.
Shivers of awareness raced like tiny fingers down her spine as she recalled the soft caress of his beard on her breasts, down her torso, along the tender inside of her thighs. She flushed at the unexpected rush of heat that the unwanted memory caused her. She was enormously grateful for her brown skin so that he could not detect the heat of her blushes.
She was not thrilled by the sharp images that flowed through her mind of what he looked like beneath the finely woven cloth. There could be no doubt that Gordan was a beautifully made man. He generated a heat that could be both incredibly comforting and deeply erotic. She would be lying to herself if she failed to acknowledge that she missed him. They had shared so much—made so many memories.
Forcefully pushing away intimate thoughts, Cassy tried to concentrate on only one fact. Gordan was a self-made man. He had worked tirelessly to create a highly profitable corporation, which had always come first in his life. His lady’s needs would never be a priority.
“Cassy,” he said, as if he were releasing a pent-up breath. His smile was charged with an elemental sexuality that was a natural part of the man. “I’m glad you came. You look lovely tonight.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, keenly aware of the way his dark gaze sensuously moved over her.
She had selected a lilac-colored silk sweater set and ombre crinkled skirt in shades of purple, from the palest lavender close to her waist to the deepest eggplant that bordered the midcalf-length garment. The small, self-fabric buttons that lined the front of the skirt stopped an inch above her knee. Her small feet were in open, mesh, deep-purple sandals with high chunky heels.
As he inhaled her essence, a combination of jasmine, honeysuckle, and lavender, plus her own sweet feminine scent, he realized how deeply he missed her. He felt as if a part of him had been severed. Feeling that loss, he shoved his hands into his trouser pockets so that he would not make the mistake of placing his hands on her. Gordan knew if he touched her, he could not make himself let her go. His control was just that tenuous.
“Please,” he made himself say, gesturing toward the sofa. “Make yourself comfortable. May I get you a drink?”
What he did not ask was why she preferred the plain gold hoop earrings she was wearing tonight to the Brazilian amethyst earrings, which were surrounded by flawless diamonds that he had given her for her birthday. She had thrown them at him before she walked out of his house in Atlanta.
Cassy could not fail to see the way his full lips had tightened. “Sparkling water with a twist of lime, please,” she said, as she sank gracefully down onto the sofa, crossing shapely legs.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he said, quietly, as he handed her a crystal tumbler. He collected a squat tumbler of cognac for himself.
“You’ve seen the outfit before.” She shifted uncomfortably as his gaze lingered on her body. She detested each carefully placed word directed her way. He was like a little boy on his best behavior.
There was nothing childish about the way his eyes followed the swell of her full breasts or the feel of his hot gaze on their highly sensitive peaks. Her mouth tightened with annoyance, for his eyes alone had caused her nipples to tighten, ache for what he could give her.
She did not want to feel anything for this man—not ever again. Nor did she want to so much as attempt even a casual conversation with him. Gordan did not need words, for she sensed that beneath his masculine awareness there was anger. He held it just beneath the deceptively cool facade he displayed to the world; nonetheless, it was there.
Gordan made himself comfortable on the matching honey-colored silk settee, stretching his long legs out in front of him. He quietly took a sip of his drink.
“I’m glad you agreed to join me tonight. Marian has planned a special meal for us—all your favorites.”
“She should not have gone to so much trouble.” Cassy’s gaze went to the silver tray that had been placed on the coffee table. There was a selection of salmon rosettes with mustard sauce on cut rounds of pumpernickel bread and tuna tartar on thin baked potato slices, two of her favorites.
Choked with emotions, Cassy did not think she could swallow. Instead, she focused on the soft glow from crystal-encased candles in the fireplace. The candles were in the living room, as well as out on the balcony. This was no romantic evening, she silently fumed.
As if he could read her thoughts, he said, “You’re worth much more to me, Cassy, than a few flowers and candles.” His voice was rough with emotion.
There was a prolonged silence. Cassy watched through the floor-to-ceiling windows as Bradford put the finishing touches on the dinner table.
“I can’t understand why all of this is necessary. You know as well as I do that I won’t change my mind.”
“Indulge me, please.” His eyes lingered on her face when he said, “Let me enjoy your company.”
Cassy did not like the way her breath quickened as if he had physically caressed her skin. Before she could formulate a protest, Bradford announced dinner. Gordan rose smoothly to his feet. He held out a hand, intent on helping her rise.
Cassy knew better than to touch him. She gracefully came to her feet without his assistance. Although his mouth tightened, he said nothing. Cassy hastily looked away, leaving her purse on the coffee table, before moving ahead of him through the patio doors onto the candlelit balcony.
The fresh fragrance of orange, lemon, and lime trees, as well as the sweetness of pots of hibiscus, jasmine, and roses filled the air. The plants grew in huge copper urns, providing the perfect backdrop for the sound and smell of the sea below. There was hardly any wind, just enough to rustle the leaves in the trees.
The table was set with fine china and gleaming crystal. The centerpiece, a thick vanilla-scented candle shimmering inside crystal and encircled with tiny potted African violets, was a beautiful touch. A magnum of pink champagne was being chilled in a silver ice bucket. Everything was perfect, but there was nothing perfect about the end of a relationship.
“How charming,” Cassy murmured, as Gordan held a chair for her.
As she absently caressed the velvety petals of a violet, she remembered that it was on a star-filled night such as this that she made love with him for the very first time. Alarmed, she quickly tried to push the unwelcomed thought away.
Gordan seated himself across from her. He waited until Bradford had filled their water and wine glasses and served the sweet potato and apple soup with a dollop of crème fraiche. Once they were alone, he began telling her about his son, Gordy, and how well he was doing in school. Gordan’s dark face had softened with a warm smile. He also told her about the current woman his brother, Wil, was dating.
Mixed green salad with a ginger-lime dressing was followed by fettuccine with spicy lobster sauce. He kept the conversation light and easy, as if they had never disagreed.
Cassy’s stomach suddenly went tight with tension when he said, “Do you remember the night we met? You were busy in the kitchen preparing a meal for me and my guests while I was entertaining. The meal had been fabulous, so much so that we just had to invite the chef to join us in a toast. You were so pretty in that lavender chef’s coat and hat. Do you still remember what you prepared that night?”
Cassy carefully put down her fork. “I’ve had enough.”
There was a heavy silence before he asked, “No dessert?’’
She shook her head, not meeting his gaze.
He signaled to Bradford that they were finished.
Cassy waited until they were alone, then she said angrily, “I came tonight for one reason. Let’s get it over with. Please say what you have to say, so I can go.”
“What’s the rush? I’m enjoying your company. But then, I have always enjoyed being with you,” Gordan said, toying with her hand, which rested on the table.
Cassy pulled away, dropping her hand into her lap. “What we had is over. I don’t see the point of rehashing it. We said our goodbyes. Why did you invite me here tonight?”
“I didn’t say goodbye, Cassy. I don’t want what we have to end.” His eyes held hers until she looked away.
“You can’t say you’ve been happy with the way things have been between us?” Her disbelief was evident.
“We have problems. Just as all couples do. Why can’t we at least try to work it out? We’re both intelligent adults.”
“For months I’ve been trying to explain my feelings to you. You never heard me, Gordan.”
“I’m listening now. Tell me again,” he invited.
“No!” she said, pushing back her chair. She went to the railing and stood staring straight ahead. The wrought-iron railing was so high it nearly reached her shoulders. In spite of the clouds in the sky, it was a clear night. The storm was inside of her.
“Why can’t we talk about this?” he asked, from a few yards away. “Why are you so angry, baby? I never meant to hurt you. If I have, I’m sorry.” The huskiness in his deep voice was like a caress.
Cassy took deep, fortifying breaths, hoping to soothe her frayed nerves and conceal her very feminine response to his masculine charm.
“Baby...”
“I don’t believe you have the nerve to ask me why. We hardly ever see each other. We’ve grown apart, Gordan. And you ask me why?” she said, shaking from the force of her emotions. “We don’t know each other anymore.”
Gordan carefully placed on the table the delicate stem glass he’d been squeezing, determined to keep a tight rein on his temper. Losing control would solve nothing. He was reeling as if she had punched him in the gut. How could he honor her request? Just the thought of letting her go hurt so much he immediately pushed it away. He had to convince her that what they had was worth saving. But how? She had come tonight only because of his persistence.
There was no doubt in his mind that she had already closed her heart to him—forgetting all that they had shared. He had no choice to accept that he had hurt her. Did that mean she had stopped loving him? As badly as he wanted to know, he didn’t ask—he could not.
What chance did he have of winning her back? It didn’t matter. He had to try. She was a part of him now—lodged deep within his heart.
From the beginning, going into a relationship had not been easy for him. He had been free of emotional entanglements for quite some time. In fact, he had convinced himself that he actually preferred casual relationships. In other words, he was careful to never let his emotions get involved, and he was always in control. He took care of his lady friend financially, and in return, he demanded her loyalty, her time, and her attention when it suited him. He did not sleep around, and he could not stand to be involved with a woman who did—a leftover quirk from his failed marriage.
Cassy had always been the exception. She refused to be taken care of. She refused his gifts. The only things she didn’t refuse was his love. Despite their lengthy separations, she never gave him reason to doubt her loyalty. The trouble was he had no idea when it had started to unravel.
“Nothing to say, Gordan?”
“We both have busy, demanding careers. It was that way from the first. We managed before; we can manage now. As for growing apart, that, too, can be rectified.”
“Not this time.”
“Yes, this time.” His voice deepened when he said, “Whenever we’ve been apart for a time, we make love. It always soothed the loneliness of being separated. I need you, baby.”
Furious, she hissed, “Why do men think sex solves everything? You’re wrong! It solves nothing!”
“It certainly can’t make things worse.”
She swung around to face him. “I made a mistake in coming here. We’ve nothing to say to each other.”
“Why did you come back to Martinique? It was where we met.”
“The perfect place to correct the biggest mistake of my life.” She averted her eyes.
“Don’t you mean the perfect place to remember how wonderful it was between us? All our firsts happened here, baby. This is where we met, had our first date, and shared our first kiss. This is where we fell in love. We made love for the first time in your cottage. Remember?”
“Will you stop?”
He continued as if she had not interrupted. “I’d been celibate for so long, I’d given up on ever finding a woman who I could respect as a person. That was, until I met you.”
“You were entertaining some model the night we met. You have a short memory if you don’t recall that you happened to be with your current lover.”
“She was nothing more than a friend. I was not sexually involved with her. You know that.”
“What possible difference does it make now?”
He ignored the question. “You’re very special. I knew that the first time I looked into your eyes. Four and a half years later, I still find that to be true. Why did you come back, Cassy?”
“I’ve told you. What I didn’t expect was for you to follow me here.” Cassy didn’t think she could take much more. “There’s nothing more to say. Goodbye.” She headed for the patio doors.
“Running away again, Cassy?” He held onto her wrist before she could take more than a few steps.
“Don’t touch me.”
He slid his hands along her soft arms to cup her slender shoulders. “Another don’t. What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not.”
“Sure you are. You didn’t want to have dinner with me tonight. You didn’t want to talk to me. I repeat, what are you afraid of?” When she didn’t respond, he whispered, “I’ve had my mouth and hands all over your soft sexy body, baby.” His voice took on an even deeper tone and heavy lidded eyes dropped when he added, “You think I don’t know you miss our lovemaking? You think I don’t miss it, too? It’s always there, that deep sexual awareness we share—hot, sweet... combustible.”
His mouth was a hairbreadth away from hers and her plump breasts were pressed into his deep chest. He moved his hips against her, letting her feel the thick, unyielding strength of his sex. “Admit it.”
Even though it was his arms that held her erect, she shook her head, as she ruthlessly bit her fleshy bottom lip. “There is no point to this.”
Gordan groaned as he covered her lips with his. His mouth was hot, hungry, over hers, worrying the seam of her soft lips with the pointed tip of his tongue until she quivered, softy parting her lips for him. Not needing a further invitation, he dipped his tongue into the sweet cavity to caress and taste the honeyed interior.
“Oh, baby...” he whispered, widening his stance in order to press her body close as he cupped her bottom and squeezed. “Oh, Cassy...” he moaned.
Momentarily lost in the heat of his mouth, she opened her mouth even more, unwittingly rubbing the achy hard tips of her breasts against his chest. She had been empty for so long—she yearned to have him deep inside. It had been too long since their bodies had been joined intimately.
“Gordan...” she sighed and suckled his tongue.
He groaned, lifting her until he could move her soft mound along his throbbing penis. “Oh yes, baby. You’re mine...”
“Stop!” she gasped, as if she were suddenly aware of what she had let happen. She pushed against his chest. “This is wrong.”
Gordan’s breathing was as quick and uneven as hers when he lowered her and dropped his hands to his side. He fought to bring his raging desires for her under control.
“I told you I want nothing to do with you.”
He snapped, “You told me a lot of things, but your body tells me something entirely different.”
“We’re good in bed together. So what! It will never be enough. Never!”
He had to clench his jaw to keep the angry protest inside. He was rock hard and aching to finish what they started. “You’re not making a bit of sense. Why did you just spring this on me in Atlanta? It came from out of the blue. We have not really talked about this.”
“We talked the night I left. You just refuse to respect my decision.”
“You issued an ultimatum. I don’t call that talking.” Gordan shoved his hands in his pockets. “Look, all I’m asking, Cassy, is that you give me a chance to make it right again. I had no idea you were so unhappy. Let me make it up to you. Baby, we’ve shared so much over the years. We love each other. Shouldn’t that count for something?”
She wrapped her arms around herself as if she needed protection. “It was important once. But nothing stays the same. I need more.”
She could see that she was tearing him apart; it was evident in the way he held himself. But she didn’t care.
She could not afford to care, not if she wanted the home and family she’d been longing for.
He whispered, “I’ll give you anything you want.”
“I’m not talking about things! How many times do I have to tell you that!” She practically screamed at him, before she gained a small measure of control. “It’s my understanding your name is unavailable.” Her bitterness was evident in her tone. “I can’t help wanting a husband and family.”
He restlessly paced the perimeter of the balcony. His features looked as if they were permanently fixed in a scowl.
“Why didn’t you tell me in the beginning? Why weren’t you up front about this?”
“People change, Gordan. Evidently, I’m not the same woman I was four and a half years ago. I don’t know why!”
“You were fine until you turned thirty-nine!”
“Well, sue me!”
He did not dignify the outburst with an answer. “I realize that I’ve been selfish, always depending on you to fly to me. I can change that, baby. It’s just that I’ve started a new project in ...”
“There is always a new project with you. Finally, it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I no longer care.”
“Don’t say that.” He paused long enough to run an unsteady hand over his beard. “What did you expect— that I’d neglect my business?”
“Never that.” Her voice was tinged with sarcasm. “Good night.” This time she made it through the patio doors and into the living room.
He was right behind her. “You know why I can’t marry again. I’ve told you what Evie put me through. You have my heart; why isn’t that enough? Why can’t we find a compromise on this?”
Cassy paused, not wanting to talk about his beautiful, vindictive ex-wife. Evie had done everything within her power to keep him, and when that failed, she settled for trying to destroy his relationship with their son.
“There isn’t one.”
“What about what we’ve meant to each other over the years—what we’ve shared? I need you. What is so wrong with living together? Lots of people do it.”
“Gordan, you have what you want—a wonderful son who adores you, a close relationship with your brother, and a loyal staff, including an eager assistant. With a little effort on your part, I’m sure Jillian would be willing to fill my shoes. Since she doesn’t appear to be the maternal type, I don’t think you have to worry about marriage.” Cassy glared up at him. “It’s my turn to go after what I want.”
Gordan said nothing, not trusting himself to hold on to his temper.
Cassy continued. “I don’t understand why you’re fighting me on this. We both know I’m nothing more than an inconvenience to you. Why can’t you admit that what we have hasn’t been working?”
“Is it Adam Foster? Is he why you’ve stopped loving me?” A muscle jumped in his bearded jaw. “Tell me,” he snarled, “what does he give you that I can’t?”
Cassy gasped, her eyes wide with hurt and disbelief. “I told you that I’ve known the man less than a week.”
“Sorry.” He quickly apologized. “I should not have said that. But, Cassy, his sudden appearance is awfully convenient. The man is from California.” His laughter held no humor as he interpreted her incredulous expression. “What? Didn’t you think that I would have him checked out?”
“What Adam hasn’t done is hurt me!” She flung the words at him. “He keeps his promises. At least he can marry me and give me the family I want,” she flung angrily from over her shoulder, as she grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
All she wanted was to get as far away from him as she could. And she told herself that she was thrilled that he made no move to stop her. Cassy had reached the foyer when she hesitated. But she knew she could not leave this way. The implications she had tossed around weighed heavy on her heart. She had tried to hurt him, and she had seen the pain of betrayal. He was not an easy man to read, but his emotions were reflected in the depths of his eyes.
Slowly, she turned to face him. His large frame still shadowed the patio doors as he stared at her.
“I’m sorry. I should not have thrown Adam in your face like that. This has nothing to do with him.”
Although deep inside he knew the truth, he nevertheless needed the words. “Why the apology?”