“If I did not know better, I’d suspect you’re trying to get rid of me.” She forced a laugh, hoping to lighten the mood thus hiding her own uneasiness.
Gordan did not smile. He found nothing humorous about the situation. Clearly impatient by her delay in answering, he said, “You don’t...have to...sugarcoat anything...for me, Cassy. I’ve...been out of...intensive care for some time. I’ve even cut back...the pain medication...so I’m clear...headed enough to... deal with...the truth. Well?”
Cassy could not withstand his intense scrutiny, yet she did not attempt to pull free from his grip on her hand. Her eyes moved over his bearded cheeks, his firm, square-cut jaw, hesitating on his beautifully formed mouth.
Although he still needed oxygen, all the other machines, including the IV had been removed. He looked good, more in control each day. Yes, he was right, he was healing. But was he as brokenhearted as she’d been since their breakup? Or had he moved on emotionally?
Suddenly recognizing she had no alternative but to be open, she said, “I’m not,” with her voice barely above a whisper.
She could not do it anymore. She had lost the ability to fight what was in her heart, what had always been there. His plane crash had forced her to acknowledge the truth. Cassy had needed to be with him more than he had needed her there.
He stared at her, his confusion evident. Tilting her chin so that he could look into her eyes, he asked, “You can’t...mean that you’re...willing to stay...with me?”
“If you still want me, then here I am,” she said, trying to smile but failing.
“Baby .. . ,” he breathed heavily, “. .. still want you?” He chuckled, then gasped in pain.
“Are you okay?” She rose and leaned over him, her hand on his cheek.
“Yeah. I could not...want you...more.”
Using his good arm, he pulled her against him, up onto the bed beside him, until she was practically in his lap, her breasts on his bare chest. He winced from the pain the maneuver caused him.
“Will you behave?”
“Cassy,” he said, once he was able to regulate his breathing. He touched her mouth with his. The kiss was sweet, ripe with promise. “Talk to me...baby. Tell me...what has changed.”
Shaking her head, she kissed his bearded cheek. “It’s simple. I love you.”
“Nothing...is simple,” he said, stroking her spine. “But I’m not...about to...question it.” He paused to catch his breath before he said, “Do you have...any idea...how happy you...have made me?” He pressed his mouth against her throat, breathing heavily. “I don’t want...there to be...any regrets...on your part.” He paused, then said, “We both...know why...you left.”
She pressed her fingertips against his mouth in hopes of stopping the flow of words. “It’s not what’s important now.” Her dark eyes shone from her tears. “I did what felt right at the time.”
What she could not give voice to was how much she still wanted to be his wife and have his child. But what was the use? That was the one thing that had not changed. She could not help wanting what he could not give her, only she wanted to be with him more.
“Don’t.” He shook his head, kissing her eyes, licking her tears away. “You did...what you...had to do...to get my... attention.” He grinned. “My mother...used to say...I had one... hard head.”
Cassy giggled. “I wish I could have known her.”
“Me, too.” He stroked her hair. “You two...would have... liked each other.” He hesitated, before he said, “You two... have a lot...in common. Big...loving hearts...and steely...determination to...hold fast to...your beliefs.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, touched by the comparison. “Don’t you think you’ve talked enough? You’re getting winded.”
“Not finished. Have to...say this.” His eyes locked with hers before he said softly, “Cassy, I...love you. And...promise never ...to do...anything to...cause you...to regret... placing your... trust in me.” He paused. “I won’t...hurt you.”
“I know. And I love you,” she whispered.
Gordan brushed her lips again and again, his mustache and beard sending shivers of pleasure along her nerve endings. The kiss deepened until they were both struggling to catch their breath, which was not good in Gordan’s case.
“Oh, no!” Cassy watched in horror as he collapsed against the pillows and closed his eyes, laboring to breathe. “Should I call Mrs. Neville?”
He shook his head as he struggled to regain control of his breathing. “Just...winded,” he managed to say, pausing to take deep, slow breaths.
“Are you sure?”
He managed to pat her hand. “I’m...fine...now.”
“Gordan, you scared the life out of me! We can’t do this. You’re still healing.”
Once he regained his breath, he smiled, “I’m not...dead yet.” He took her hand, placing it against his semi-arousal.
“Shame on you,” Cassy laughed, caressing him briefly before she moved her hand away. “You can forget that, Gordan Kramer, at least until you’re better.”
“I’m looking...forward...to it,” he teased. Moving a caressing hand down her arm, he said, “I’ve missed...you.”
“Me, too.” She kissed the base of his throat.
He slid a hand beneath her hair to stroke her nape, enjoying their closeness. “I hated...doing without...you. I’ve been... difficult to...be around...especially after...you left…the island.”
“I wasn’t doing very well myself. I nearly went out of my mind when I heard your jet went down.” She buried her face against the base of his throat. “I thought I’d lost you.”
He brushed her damp cheeks with his lips. “You can’t... lose me. You’re...my heart.”
They rested like that for a time, with her against his left side, neither interested in moving. They didn’t really talk, more concerned with enjoying their closeness. The sound of the late night-duty nurses starting their shift caused Cassy to move back to the armchair beside the bed.
“Baby...”
“I think it’s time I let you get some rest.”
“We need...to talk. There...are things...I can’t...”
She brushed his lips with her own. “Later, you need to get some sleep.”
“I feel better...when you’re...with me.” He brushed a finger beneath her eyes. “You’re exhausted. You been...here, night... after night,...with me.” Pausing for a moment, he said, “Why don’t...you sleep in...tomorrow? Rest...all day. Hear?”
Cassy laughed. “I’m fine, or I will be, once you’re out of here.”
“Soon,” he smiled, his eyes locked with hers. “If all goes...well, only a...few more days.”
She pressed her mouth ever-so-briefly over his after glancing at her watch. “Bradford is waiting.”
“You can do...better than... that,” he complained.
She shook her finger at him, then giggled at his fierce frown. She leaned close to kiss the very corner of his lips.
“Night, baby.”
“Good night,” she waved.
Bradford was waiting in the limousine to drive her back to the hotel. “You’ve got a lovely smile on your face. How’s the boss?” he asked, coming around to open the door for her.
“Much better.” Cassy’s laugh was filled with pleasure as she gazed up at the older man. “He’s doing well. He’s coming home in a few more days, that is, if he’s off the oxygen.”
“That’s good news. I know he’s going to be glad to be out of that place.” He motioned to the hospital as he waited for her to climb inside. “Do you know what we need to get ready to take care of him?”
“No, but I’m sure I can get a list from his doctors and Mrs. Neville. She will be coming with us until he’s back on his feet.”
“Is he staying on the island? Or does he plan on flying back to Atlanta to recuperate?”
Cassy was forced to admit, “I have no idea. I’ll make a point to get to the hospital early tomorrow so that I can speak to his doctor. Then we’ll decide what is best.”
Bradford’s face split into a warm smile. “Don’t make no difference. Once he is home, we’re going to take good care of him. Wil wouldn’t have left if there were problems. That boy has turned into a fine man.”
Cassy smiled at the pride she detected in his voice. “Has he called?”
“Yes, from his condo. Gordy is back with his mother. He should be back in school tomorrow.”
Cassy settled back, as Bradford moved around to the driver seat. Yes, Gordy was with the lovely Evie. Cassy lost her smile. Well, Evie should be thrilled. That woman had certainly ruined Gordan for any other woman. She was responsible for his steadfast refusal to remarry.
Sighing, Cassy realized she wanted him so much, she had no alternative but to deal with it. She had been wrong when she thought that she could change him by issuing that ultimatum. Although she had not realized at the time, that was what she was trying to do. Cassy had known all along that she loved the man. There had never been any doubt about that. No matter what she told herself, she knew now that she could never become seriously involved with Adam or any other man. Just how in the world had she thought she could someday marry another man when she could not bear the man’s kisses? All Gordan had to do was touch her and she was his. Bradford was grinning when he opened her door in front of the hotel. “I think we will all sleep a bit easier this night.”
“You’re right about that.”
Yet, Cassy knew she could not sleep well until Gordan was out of the hospital and beside her. Home had suddenly taken on new dimensions. It was not brick or mortar—or even a place. It was wherever the two of them were together. Her home from now on would be with him.
Cassy was not looking forward to explaining all this to her sister. She had no idea how she was going to explain the unexplainable. Nevertheless, she fully intended to live with Gordan without the benefits of marriage.
The minute she was alone, Cassy put the call through, even though it was late.
“How is he?” Sarah asked.
“He’s much better. They’re talking about letting him go home in a few days. I’m hoping by the end of the week, if he’s off the oxygen. And, eventually, he’s going to have to have physical therapy for the shoulder and arm, once he is out of the cast. But at least he’ll be out of that hospital soon.”
“That’s wonderful news. So, when are you going to be able to come home?”
It took her so long to answer that Sarah prompted, “Sis?”
“I’m not coming home. I’ve decided to live with Gordan. I can’t leave him, especially after what happened.”
“Surely, you’re not blaming yourself for the plane crash?”
“Oh no. I know I’m not responsible for that. Just both our unhappiness since I left him.”
“You’ve told him that you’re still in love with him?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“He still loves me, too.”
Sarah laughed. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“You’re not disappointed in me?”
“For what, following your heart? I never thought you had any other choice. You two belong together.”
“Thanks, Sis. The crash proved to me, as nothing else could, just how deep my feelings are for him,” Cassy confessed.
“Are you sure you’re going to be able to deal with living with him?”
“I have to. I can’t leave him again.” Cassy purposefully changed the subject. “About the inn...”
“Don’t worry about that. We can work that out. Your happiness is more important to me. You are happy, aren’t you?”
“Yes. My future is with him.” She was unable to tell her sister that there was a small place in her heart that still ached for a child—his child.
“Cassy,” Sarah sighed, as if she heard her sister’s thoughts. “You don’t know what the future will bring. Who knows? Maybe he will change his mind about marriage.”
“I don’t want to even think about it. I can’t think about it,” she whispered. “He’s on the mend, that’s enough.” Cassy went on to say, “I’ve been thinking about the inn. I have a few suggestions that might solve our problem of personnel, at least for a time.”
“What are they? Kurt wants me to sell my part in the inn and become a full-time homemaker.”
“What? Are you?”
“No! I have my family, but I enjoy my work. So what’s this idea? I need all the suggestions I can get before I tell Kurt about this. He can be so stubborn sometimes.”
“Tell me about it,” Cassy mumbled, only she was referring to Gordan Kramer. “Sis, why are we so drawn to such mule-headed men?”
“Good question. Ask me in about twenty-five years, then I might know the answer. Better yet, ask Grandma. She can tell you about the Mosley women going back to Great-Great-Granny Atkins.”
Cassy laughed. “Okay, okay, let’s get back to business. My suggestion is that you start interviewing for a live-in housekeeper. And promote Susan to head chef. She did a wonderful job filling in for me while I was on vacation. What do you think?”
“I think you are a genius. Any time you need a job, call me.”
They both laughed.
“Cassy, do you remember Margaret Maxwell? She’s a retired schoolteacher. She has stayed several times at the inn. She’s from Los Angeles.”
“Yes, I do. Sweet, but bossy. Didn’t she say she was having a difficult time adjusting to being retired?”
“That’s her. She never married and only has her garden these days to keep her busy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if she were willing to become our live-in housekeeper?”
“Fantastic!” Cassy said.
The sisters talked for some time, making plans for the inn, before they hung up. Both were excited about the possibility of hiring Margaret Maxwell or someone like her. Sarah had also made it clear that she was not interested in buying Cassy out. They would continue to share the inn. And Cassy would continue to help out in whatever way she could.
She was thoughtful as she prepared for bed. Her life was suddenly taking on some very drastic changes. But one thing had not changed, and that was Gordan’s view on marriage. Cassy quickly pushed the thought away, reminding herself that in this life, no one had everything they wanted.
She had what was important to her. She had Gordan’s love. He was the man she loved and respected. Even though they would probably never agree about his hectic schedule, once he was recovered, she could trust him with her heart.
A few day later, she found Gordan in the hospital garden. He was seated in a comfortable lounger, talking to John Wingate and his wife.
“Good morning,” she said. She squeezed Gordan’s silk-covered left shoulder. He was wearing navy, silk pajama bottoms and a matching robe. “It looks like everyone is enjoying the sunshine. How are you, John? It’s good to see that you’re looking so well.”
“Thanks. It looks like they’re going to let me out of here next week,” John smiled. Unlike Gordan, he was seated in a wheelchair.
His wife, Carrie, added with a smile, “They want to do more tests. Unfortunately, he’s still having headaches.”
“Hopefully, it won’t be much longer. Are you planning to recuperate on the island or go back home?”
“Home,” both Wingates said at the same time, then smiled fondly at each other.
Carrie said, “We will stay on at the hotel until John is ready to travel. But we both want to get back to our kids as soon as possible. We have two little boys at home—six and ten.”
Cassy smiled, unaware of the yearning in her eyes or Gordan watching her. “How fortunate. Who’s caring for them?”
“My mother,” Carrie explained. Glancing at her watch, she said, “Well, if you’ll excuse us, John is due back inside.”
“See you two later,” Cassy said, with a smile.
Gordan waited until they were alone, before he said, “Come here.”
Cassy leaned down to briefly press her lips against his. “Hi.”
“That’s better,” he said, holding on to her hand until she gave him another kiss.
Cassy smiled, refusing to prolong the kiss, even though he frowned at her. She made sure it was no more than a brush of their lips. Although he was not on oxygen, but breathing on his own, she was not taking any risks. “I hear you haven’t been cooperative this morning, Mr. Kramer.”
“You talked...to Nurse...Neville.”
“Your doctor. I ran into him in the hall. What’s your problem? You know they aren’t going to let you out of here unless you go home with the nurse.” She sat down in the chair beside his.
“You look...pretty today.” He took in the red sleeveless sheath that was belted at the waist and skimmed her soft curves. “I like you...in red. How...come you...don’t wear...more of it?”
She arched a brow. “My color choice is not what’s important. Your health is. What is your problem? Must you be stubborn about everything?”
Gordan grinned. “I’m going...home...in two days if I...have to check...myself out.” He paused before he said, “What are... you doing...here so early?” He hesitated, then said, “I thought... I told you...to rest.”
“I thought I told you to behave. We’re talking about your health here. Did you actually think you could bully the doctors into doing things your way?”
“Why not?”
Cassy shook her finger at him. “I want you home, as soon as possible. I’ve made arrangements with Mrs. Neville to accompany us.” She glared at him, not about to back down.
“Don’t be angry,” he said, reaching for her hand. He rubbed her knuckles against his face.
“Then cooperate. I want you well.” Her dark eyes filled. “Please?”
Gordan brushed at the tear. “Okay. I’ll be...good.” Then he said huskily, his gaze on her soft crimson-lined mouth. “Now you be...good and come...here and sit...on my lap...so I can kiss...you properly.”
Cassy giggled. “No way. I intend to get you well if it kills us both.”
They both laughed. And Gordan was forced to be content with holding her hand.
“How long have you been off the oxygen?”
“All morning. If I make...it another...day without...they will let...me out of...here...Friday.”
“That’s wonderful. How long have you been out of bed?”
“Couple of hours.” He paused to breathe deeply. “Don’t worry, Neville...will be here...with that wheelchair...to take me...back to bed.” He stopped for a moment, then said, “I don’t ...like being sick.”
“I know you don’t, love. But it’s not forever.”
***
On Friday, one of the young nurses said from the doorway, “Ready to go, Monsieur Kramer?”
Although impatient to leave, Gordan grumbled when she came into the room with the wheelchair.
Cassy quirked a questioning brow at him, waiting to see how difficult he was planning to be. Bradford had gone ahead, with the flowers, baskets of fruit, and other gifts of well wishes Gordan had received, to bring the car around.
“Problem?” Cassy asked, in all innocence, a smile teasing her lips.
“No, not a...one.” Gordan swallowed his protest. His dark eyes met her twinkling ones. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth in spite of the fact that the joke was on him. After settling himself in the wheelchair, he said, “Let’s go.”
Cassy laughed, his black leather duffel bag in her hand, the doctor’s instructions in her purse.
“Coming?” he called, from over his shoulder. He wore black jeans and a short-sleeve shirt over his cast, the sling around his neck helping to support his right shoulder and arm.
To Cassy, he had never looked better. “I’m right behind you.”
Touched by the number of medical staff that came out to see him off, Gordan curbed his impatience long enough to thank everyone and say goodbye. Bradford had passed out individual boxes of imported chocolates and the homemade fruit tarts that Cassy had made as tokens of Gordan’s appreciation.
“Finally,” Gordan sighed, leaning back against the plush leather of the limousine. “Did I tell you how...pretty you look today?” he asked. Cassy was seated on his left, taking care not to jar him.
“No, but feel free,” she teased, aware that her white, slim skirt and pristine, white, silk blouse were hardly eye-catching. She caressed his cheek. “You look so much better than the night I arrived. I was so scared.”
“I know.” He kissed the center of her palm. “The worst is behind us, baby. Isn’t it?” he asked softly, studying her eyes.
Cassy could see the question in his gaze and assumed he was not referring to his injury. He was talking about their painful estrangement.
“Yes.” She outlined the shape of his mouth with a pink lacquered nail. “I’ve missed you so much.”
He closed his eyes as if he were savoring her touch, her words. “I’ve missed you more.” He didn’t bother to glance at the passing scenery. His focus was on her. “Are you happy?”
“Yes!” she laughed. “My love, you’re finally out of that hospital. How about you?”
“I will be tonight,” he said, softly, then paused, “...when you’re beside me, in my arms.”
“Now Gordan, you know what the doctor said. I won’t do anything that might slow your recovery.”
He smiled. “Believe me, I know my limitations.” He chuckled, then paused to catch his breath before he went on to say, “I’m talking about holding you. I want you in bed...with me tonight...every night.”
“Yes,” she said, around a tender sigh. “I want that, also. It has been so long since we held each other. But, I don’t want you to overdo it. We’ve got to get you well. I’m glad Mrs. Neville agreed to come back to the suite with us.” Cassy giggled at the face he made when she mentioned the nurse.
She continued, “This may make you angry with me, but I had a talk with Kenneth Kittman. I asked that all problems pertaining to the hotel be directed to the home office and Wil’s attention.” Cassy was not sure what she expected, but certainly not the cocky grin that appeared on his face.
“Good. I meant it when I said I plan to follow doctor’s orders.” He paused, caressing her hand. “But, Cassy, there is still so much left unsaid between us. I want to know if...”
Cassy pressed her lips against his, stopping the flow of his words. “No, baby. No serious discussions, at least, not until you are better.” She purposefully switched the subject by asking about his son. He had mentioned earlier that he’d talked to both Gordy and Wil the night before.
Cassy had avoided serious discussions since she told him she would live with him. What good would they do? His mind was made up and she could not go on wishing for what she could not have. She loved this man. And she felt so blessed that he was alive and getting stronger each day. Finally they were together.
No. Talking about the past would solve nothing. It was best left alone. She had promised herself that if they had a second chance, she would not let anything destroy their happiness.
Lifting her chin so that he could see her face, he asked, “How long do you think avoiding talking is going to work?”
“Until you’re better. Today, all we have to concentrate on is getting you settled. I’m glad you decided to recuperate here on the island. Hopefully, nothing will detract you from getting well, quickly. Isn’t that what we both want?”
“Okay.” He laced his left hand with hers. “When I built that hospital, I didn’t expect to need it so badly.”
Suppressing a shudder, she said, “I’m grateful for it. I think it was a wonderful gift from you to the people of Martinique. And you’ve managed to attract first-class medical personnel. Of course, the sea air, fabulous golf course, beautiful sunsets, and Caribbean had a little something to do with it.”
He chuckled. “You have a point.”
“Promise me that you won’t consider going back to work until the doctor gives his approval. Give Wil a chance to show what he can do. You trained him, didn’t you?”
“You won’t get any arguments out of me, baby.” He touched his mouth to hers.
When the car stopped in front of the hotel drive, Gordan was determined to walk unaided, despite the fact that Mrs. Neville was waiting in the lobby with a wheelchair. Cassy did not say a word when he announced that there was not a thing wrong with his legs. He smiled down at her, squeezing her hand.
They were quickly surrounded by friends and the hotel staff. He accepted the get well wishes with a smile. He did not protest when Cassy insisted that he rest in the armchair once they reached the penthouse suite.
The foyer and living room were filled with plants and flowers, and stacks of get well cards from friends, business associates, and employees from around the world waited for his attention.
Cassy knew he was winded and exhausted by the way he let both Mrs. Neville and Marian Bradford fuss over him. Mrs. Neville had his medication set up for him in the master bedroom. She had also arranged for a portable oxygen machine to be on hand if needed. It was not until after lunch that Gordan agreed to nap during the afternoon.
“Stop...scowling at...me.”
“You’re having trouble breathing.”
He caught her hand. “I’m just...tired.”
“Should I get Mrs. Neville?”
“What I need...is you. Come here...and curl up...beside me.”
She moved to his left side and carefully rested beside him. She sighed softly when he held her close, listening to the sound of his breathing. When she realized that he was not having difficulty, she was able to relax.
He brushed his lips against her temple.”You feel good.” He smoothed his thumb along her nape.
“Glad you think so,” she murmured.
“You should be...exhausted. You’ve spent...so much time at the...hospital with me.”
“I’m fine, now that you’re here.”
“This is the best...medicine, baby...being able to hold you... like this.”
Cassy’s breath caught in her throat, and her heart raced with pleasure from the wealth of love she heard in his voice. When she tilted her head back in order to see his face, she smiled. His breathing was deep as he slept.
Cassy knew she was lucky. She had turned her back on his love and, as a result, had destroyed both their happiness. Never again. She was not willing to risk losing what they had—it was too important.
As she drifted off, she realized she had learned something about herself. Gordan had claimed her heart. And she would rather be with him and unmarried, than married to any other man.