| |
I watch out the window after Rage leaves the apartment and stew in anger. He was supposed to be mine, he claimed me after all. Sure, he always makes me wear something over my face when we’re together, but I thought we had something. Something special. Now I’m constantly being flung into the arms, or beds of other men. When before I was only Rage’s.
What does he see in Jennifer that he doesn’t see in me? Sure, she’s beautiful, and sweet, kind, loving. But she’s not me. Why does no one want me? Am I really that ugly? I know what they call me, even Rage... Butterface. They may not call me it to my face, but I’ve heard it, the other girls around here whisper it when I’m around, smirking at me.
I’m going to have to do something to get noticed by him again. Today when he came for Jennifer’s things, he didn’t even glance in my direction. He just barked orders and I followed. Isn’t that what these men want? Someone meek and mild to do their bidding, bonus points if you don’t talk? Apparently, I must be living in a fantasy world, because I never get my way.
If I had a say, it would have been me getting banged on the claiming table and inked up last night. Jennifer knew it was going to happen, too, the minute we got on the bus she looked miserable. How could she be miserable when she has Rage? Sure, he’s scary looking, with his scars and all, but he’s dreamy, too. Something about him screams gentle giant.
I’m not sure how he got his nickname, because I just don’t see him angry, ever. And I’m around him a lot. But I’m sure there is a reason for his name. I wish he’d tell me his real name, because then I’d have a leg up over the others around here. None of the girls know what it is, which is confusing, because I know Rage isn’t his real name.
And now, Jennifer will know it, which makes me livid. She was such a good friend to me before, and I didn’t mind when Rage would fuck me while groaning out her name as he came. But now, now is different.
I sigh and move away from the window once Rage is out of sight and look around my small apartment that I’m stuck living in. Jennifer now lives in his house, sharing his bed, his life. Probably will meet his kids. And I’m once again stuck with nothing, or scraps like usual.
This time, though, I’m vowing to finish first, Jennifer might be his Old Lady for the moment but in the end, it will be me.