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Waking up to a sore neck, I realize that I fell asleep on the couch in an awkward position next to Kara, who is curled up on my lap. I smell coffee and bacon coming from the kitchen. I decide to get up, moving Kara slightly so I don’t wake her and tuck her in. Giving her a soft smile, I move away and into the kitchen.
Rage is there, standing over the stove with his top off. When he turns around my stomach sinks. He’s got scratch marks covering his chest and stomach. Jordan really must have had a fun time with him last night.
My anger comes back full force and I turn away from Rage, heading upstairs to the bedroom to get dressed for the day. Maybe giving Jordan some extra chores today will help me feel better. Even with Hangman’s new rules, woman now have the option of sleeping with the brothers, Jordan still went for my man.
Once I’m dressed, I head out and notice that Weston is still sleeping. Peeking into his room, I turn on his light. “Hey, kid, sorry to do this but you have school.”
“Mhm, thanks,” he says, face buried in his pillow. I smile and walk back downstairs, the smile fading because I’m dreading having a talk with Rage.
Once in the kitchen, I notice he is now cracking eggs. Nothing hotter than a man who can cook; too bad I’m angry with him right now. “Morning,” he says, turning to me.
“Yeah,” I mumble, not really wanting to say much. I get myself a cup of coffee and place it on the counter to get the milk. Rage comes up behind me, his face going into my hair.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he tells me, holding me tightly.
“Be a lot better if you didn’t have the proof all over the front of your body,” I sass him, pulling away.
“Fuck. Watch the stove,” he says, darting away and running up the stairs.
“Morning, Mama Jen. Is it almost time for school?” Little Kara yawns coming into the kitchen.
“Yeah, pretty girl, why don’t you go on up and get dressed and I’ll do your hair all nice for school today.” She’s only in kindergarten, but after last night, she should be bumped up a grade. Kid is reading at easily a second-grade level. At least Rage has done something right, his kids are amazing.
Rage comes back down as Kara darts upstairs herself, dressed. Rage looks embarrassed and ashamed. Good. “I’m going to make it up to you, first, we need to hire a new manager at the strip club. I want you available for me when I need to make runs or the club is having a party.”
I swallow thickly. He wants me on runs? Doesn’t he bunk with other clubs when he goes off places? Why would he want me there?
“Um, okay?” I say questionably.
“I just want you around, I’m going to prove you’re it for me, you’re the only one for me. And to do that, if I have to take you everywhere I am for the foreseeable future then so be it.” He shrugs.
“You just have to give me time, Rage. I knew this would happen, just wasn’t sure when, and didn’t think it would hurt so badly, but it does. I don’t like feeling like this; I didn’t think my feelings for you were anything more than just caring about you. But I’ve managed to find myself in love, and then you tore that to shreds.”
He stills, face hard as granite at my words. His stare is making me uneasy. He swallows thickly and finally speaks. “Fuck me, fuck me. I think that’s why I feel as guilty as I do, something that is new to me. Because I’m in love with you, too, Jennifer. Never been in love in my life, love my kids, but this is different. I never loved my ex, or the mothers of my kids. You’re different.”
“I wish I could believe you, but I don’t. Your actions last night sort of showed that.”
“I vow it, Jen. I’ll fix it I swear.”
I shrug, words are pointless, actions speak louder, so we’ll have to wait and see. Maybe one day, I won’t be so upset about this, but today is not that day