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Tonight is girls’ night, and I don’t know how I feel about it. Rage informed me that Justine, Anara, and Melissa are meeting up at Gill’s Bar and wanted me to go with them. Why they’d want me to go with them I’ll never know.
I’ve never slept with Melissa’s man, Slammer; and Dirty, well, he’s made it clear he’s ready for me whenever Rage lets him. And tonight, I’m meeting his woman so I don’t know how I feel about that. I’ve slept with Hangman, but not while he’s been with Justine, so that’s a plus at least.
I’ve never had girlfriends before, so this is new, weird even. Girls normally stayed away from me, although I knew why. I would seduce their men, even in front of them. God I was such a horrible person, I can’t even blame my brother because he wasn’t always around to watch me, but still it sucks that I was like that.
A whore, I’ll probably never get rid of that title. And that hurts a bit, there are people out there that probably wish me dead, and I don’t blame them. I ruined marriages, relationships—hell there are probably relationships out there I haven’t ruined completely but only because the women don’t know what I’ve done, or what their man has done.
I’ve even slept with women if it benefited the club or my brother. Trinity was one of those women, she was a fun time, though. It was my first encounter with a woman, but little did I know that the next time I saw her she’d be trying to kill me. But enough about the past, I need to get over it as does everyone else.
Finishing my makeup, I toss my eye pencil down and look at myself. Understated yet sexy. I can work with this. I get up and my black dress comes just above my knee. I go to leave the room but am stopped by Rage coming in.
“Fuck, you look good enough to eat.” I blush at his words and bite my bottom lip. “Prospect is going to be driving you ladies. You’re up first, hope you’re ready for crazy town. Don’t let Justine talk you into anything stupid. She has this way about her that gets her into shit.” I snort because I heard about the latest stunt she pulled, kicking over a Christmas tree in Walmart. She was pissed or something about Christmas being up before Halloween, which is apparently her favourite holiday, and was kicked out of the store. Hangman wouldn’t stop laughing when he was telling us that story.
“Don’t worry, she’s pregnant, she won’t be too bad,” I suggest.
It’s Rage’s turn to snort. “That bitch gets into more trouble pregnant than when she wasn’t pregnant. Melissa ain’t any better, the two of them together is bad news. Only upside is that Justine can’t drink.”
“It will be fine, I’ll be fine. Promise.”
“Good.” He kisses me, and I know my lipstick is now smudged. I shouldn’t have bothered with it. I moan a little and Rage finally shoves me back slightly. “Fuck, we don’t stop now I won’t let you out of this house.”
“What will you be doing while I’m gone?” I ask him, picking my purse up from the ottoman at the end of our bed.
“Just hanging with the kids, Hangman and Slammer are babysitting Melissa’s kids and Hangman’s youngest daughter.” I haven’t heard a lot about Emily, Hangman’s youngest kid, it’s mostly always about Melissa. I wonder if I’ll find out why that is tonight.
I give him a smile and head downstairs and out to my ride. Time to start girls’ night.
**
“OKAY, ENOUGH,” I SAY, laughing so hard my eyes are leaking. I’m gonna pee myself if Justine doesn’t stop ranting about Walmart and their Christmas mess. I almost brought up a few times, how Christmas is my favourite holiday but I didn’t want to get murdered by her so I kept my mouth shut.
“Tell us about yourself, how’d you meet Rage?” Melissa finally asks.
I shrug. “Not a whole lot to tell really. I met him originally fifteen years ago, he was coming through my town and we hooked up.” I don’t meet Justine’s eyes as I say this because it wasn’t just Rage I met all those years ago. “It wasn’t love at first sight or anything like that. We woke the next day and he left, that was it. But over the years, he’d visit, and each time, he had me. I was his to use while he was in town and I didn’t mind. Looking back, though, I wish I was more open to him, but I was hooked on someone else, someone I couldn’t have. So, I didn’t really pay much attention to the times I was with Rage. Sure, I liked him, and how he was with me, but I didn’t think more of it. Not until the day he saved me. That was five years ago.”
“Why’d it take so long for you and Rage to get together?” Justine asks, sipping on her iced tea.
“I was broken, damaged, I didn’t want any man to have to be with me. I thought I was saving Rage from that pain—from the heartache I carry around with me. The darkness, my whore lifestyle, you know. Just thought he was better than me.” Melissa’s eyes soften at my words.
Her hand stretches out and holds mine. “Never talk about yourself like that, I know you have a past, we all do. Yes, yours is worse than most, but you’re not broken. You’re free now, and want to know something awesome about being free? Love. Love is unconditional. And for someone like Rage, having his love, girl, soak that in.”
‘Love?’ I love Rage, I can feel that in my bones, but I don’t know if love is enough. Not for my sorry ass.
“Girl, I know you’ve been with Hangman, he sort of has a big mouth these days. I know literally everything, and everyone he’s ever fucked. And that list is exhaustive,” Justine tells me, and I still. Hangman told her everything? He doesn’t seem like that type. I don’t even fully know all of Rage’s past. “I just wanted to get that out of the way, because you haven’t made eye contact with me once.”
“Sorry, it’s just a little awkward.”
Justine laughs. “Just a little, but don’t worry. It was in the past, we’re good now.”
Anara takes this moment to speak up. “Stay away from Dirty,” she says, sounding angry. Her anger takes me back and shocks me. She seemed so sweet and polite when we’ve been here but now, she’s on the verge of raging out.
“I-I’m sorry?” I stutter out, looking at her in shock.
“My man makes it no secret that if he had a chance to slide inside of you, he would. I’m not stupid, I also know Rage has a sharing kink, but I’m telling you now, stay away from my man.” She gets up and walks away, I sit there staring at her retreating back.
“Well, I was wondering why she was so quiet this evening,” Justine says, and Melissa gives me a soft look. “If she doesn’t trust her man why’s she even with him? From what I saw at the clubhouse whenever I’m there, he just puts on a show.” I keep my mouth shut, knowing that anything I say now could get me in trouble. Dirty puts on a show, alright, and the minute Justine is out of the building, he’s banging anything he can.
But it’s not my place to tell her, or anyone else, that.
“She loves Dirty, but man he’s a player, and I’m afraid he hasn’t stopped whoring around and she knows it but puts up with it so she can keep him. I’ve told her to leave a few times, but she always just says how much she loves him and is trying to remain positive,” Melissa tells us.
“Rage cheated on me, not even a few days into our relationship, he ended up feeling so guilty about it he came right home and told me. I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“Well, at least he told you and you didn’t walk in on him balls-deep in some bitch,” Justine says bitterly. I know that’s how she found out about Hangman and Shannan. I wonder if she also knows that Hangman had Penny join in a few times as well.
Speaking of Penny, or thinking of Penny I should say, I wonder how she’s making out? I know Hangman gave her his other house to live in so she could get away from the club, but I haven’t heard from her in a while. I should seek her out and see what she’s up to.
“Enough of the downer topic, I doubt Anara will be coming back tonight, so let’s just continue drinking and then make our men come get us,” Melissa says, and we cheer her, swallowing back our drinks.
Girls’ night out is fun.