BY THE TIME Felipe wound up his conversation with his cousin Mateo, Emilia seemed to have disappeared. Felipe scanned the barn, a vague rumble of unease in his gut. Then he came face to face with Thiago.
‘My best man—are you enjoying yourself?’ Thiago asked jovially, slinging his arm around Felipe’s shoulders.
‘Absolutely,’ Felipe replied, his smile for his brother genuine. ‘It’s been a great day. But more importantly, are you happy?’
Thiago released Felipe and spread his arms wide. ‘I’m a married man. Of course I’m happy.’
Felipe laughed, thinking back to his own wedding day, so many years ago. He’d been so young, full of optimism and confidence that his marriage to Delfina would work out. But somehow, as the years had passed, they’d grown in opposite directions, and Felipe had lived with the consequences ever since. Felipe prayed for his brother’s sake that Thiago and Violetta would last the distance. At least Thiago had maturity on his side, and a partner who seemed to share his dreams and goals as much as he shared hers.
‘Everyone loves Emilia,’ Thiago continued. ‘She’s a real hit.’ He slapped his brother’s back. ‘Nice work.’
‘Thanks.’ Felipe laughed good-naturedly, his stare seeking her out once more. If he’d been on the marriage market, Emilia would indeed be a very good catch. They shared so much—their world views, their careers, their personal aspirations. Not to mention intense physical passion. The more time he spent with her the closer he felt to her. It was no surprise to him that Emilia was the reason he currently felt so...content.
‘So what’s the plan?’ Thiago asked. ‘Are you two still casual? Please tell me you’re not going to watch her date any more idiots? Maybe you should think about popping the question.’
Felipe laughed nervously, prickles of unease creeping up his neck. His family meant well, but he could sense the pressure building. Emilia had stiffened in his arms earlier when he’d mentioned his parents’ questions. And she obviously had a lot on her mind with Eva. The last thing he wanted to do was transmit any of that pressure to Emilia and scare her off.
‘Listen,’ he said, turning serious, ‘things are...delicate between us. We’re not in our twenties. We both have our pasts to deal with and Emilia’s daughter is her priority, quite rightly.’ Felipe winced. ‘Please don’t say anything to scare her off. I really like her.’
Thiago was right in one thing. Felipe didn’t want to watch Emilia go on any more dates. He wanted to be her date. He wanted more than just great sex and friendship. But his family were unaware of the fine details of his relationship with Emilia. He didn’t want one of them to inadvertently put their foot in it or spook her. And as his feelings for her deepened there was already enough pressure within himself to ask her where their relationship was headed.
After fifteen years of staying single, he couldn’t simply rush in and make her any promises. Maybe they could continue to build on their connection, one day at a time. Maybe he should ask her to be exclusive but take things slowly.
‘Of course,’ Thiago said, resting his hand over his heart. ‘You have my word. I understand how it’s more complicated second time around. But if you really like her...’
Thiago’s voice drifted off as he peered over Felipe’s shoulder, his eyes widening. ‘Here she comes.’ He embraced Felipe, spoke briefly to Emilia, kissed her cheek and wandered off.
‘There you are,’ Felipe said with smile, handing over her glass of water. She looked pale and distracted. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, alarmed.
Had she overheard any of his conversation with Thiago? Felipe had no idea how Emilia felt about them having something more than casual sex, and she was obviously still grieving for Ricardo. But perhaps they could enjoy each other’s company while it lasted. Suddenly, the idea felt hollow, as if he already knew it wouldn’t be enough for him.
When she said nothing, placing her drink on a nearby table without touching it, Felipe’s alarm grew. Had she received bad news? ‘Is it Eva?’ He ran his hands down her bare arms, chasing away her goosebumps. ‘Is everything okay at home?’
‘I’m not sure...’ She shivered, dragging in a deep breath, but she couldn’t quite meet his eye. ‘I don’t think it’s anything serious, but she said she’s feeling a bit sad and now she’s no longer answering my texts.’
Felipe’s mind reeled. Of course she’d be distracted by concern for Eva while being so far away. He was a little worried, too.
‘Have you called the house?’ he asked, snagging his jacket from the chair and draping it over her shoulders to ward off the chill.
She shook her head vaguely. ‘No... But I tried her cell phone.’ She raised her hand to her temple. ‘I... I’m sorry. I’m not feeling that well. I have a headache, suddenly. Probably stress. I might call it a night if that’s okay.’
A swell of compassion engulfed him. He wrapped his arm around her and held her close. ‘Of course it’s okay,’ he said. ‘Let’s get you some painkillers. I’ll walk you back to the guest house.’
‘Oh, no...’ Emilia pulled back, her stare flitting everywhere but at him. ‘Please don’t interrupt your evening on my account. It’s your brother’s wedding.’
He winced at his automatic display of affection. Of course Emilia wanted their relationship to remain a secret, but he couldn’t help his feelings. He cared deeply about this woman. It was second nature to touch her and comfort her, to try and be there for her.
‘Emilia, it’s no problem,’ he said in a low voice, trying to be discreet. ‘Let me look after you. I can run you a bath if that will help with the headache.’
She shook her head, a determined tilt to her chin. ‘Actually, I think I might go back to Buenos Aires on the first flight tomorrow morning.’
Stunned, Felipe all but gaped. ‘Is that really necessary? I’m sure Eva is fine. I had plans to show you the estate tomorrow.’ Her concern for her daughter was understandable, but taking an early flight home seemed like a bit of an overreaction. Unless there was something else going on...
‘If I don’t go,’ she continued, ‘I’ll just spend the rest of the weekend worrying. And I don’t want to make a fuss or be a bother to your family at this happy time.’ Her stare flicked around the room, where the other guests were still in high spirits, then she looked at him, imploring.
‘Of course...’ His mind scrambled to catch up. Had he upset her in some way? ‘Why don’t you get some rest?’ he urged. ‘I’ll change our flights to the morning.’
She shook her head, already backing away, as if she feared he might try to hold onto her. ‘No, I don’t want to interrupt your weekend celebration with your family, and you’re the best man. I’ve already called a taxi to take me to a hotel near the airport for tonight, so I don’t disturb anyone when I leave early. Can you please thank your parents from me and wish the bride and groom farewell? I’ll just quietly slip out now.’
That was when he spied her overnight bag at her feet, his stomach sinking. She’d already been back to the guest house and collected her things. There was clearly no persuading her to stay. Confusion settled like a weight in his chest. What was happening? Had he inadvertently moved too fast? Spooked her? They’d been having a great time, and now it seemed she couldn’t wait to get away from him.
Her phone pinged with a text and she shrugged off his jacket, handing it over. ‘I’m sorry Felipe. I really have to go. My taxi is almost here.’
‘I’ll walk you out,’ he said, feeling numb and a little stupid, as if he’d done something wrong but had no idea what. ‘Will you call me, when you get to the hotel?’ he asked, reaching for her hand as they walked towards the estate’s gate at the top of the driveway.
‘Okay,’ she said, her voice devoid of any warmth.
‘And if you hear from Eva. I’m concerned, too.’ How could he enjoy the rest of the party with everything between them up in the air? Couldn’t she understand that he cared about her and her daughter?
A hundred questions stuck in his throat at the sudden change in Emilia. He’d thought they were growing closer, but now he was filled with doubts. Maybe he’d misjudged things. Maybe she was still grieving too much for a new relationship, even a casual one. Maybe she still wasn’t ready to put her own needs first.
‘Listen,’ he said as they paused at the top of the drive. ‘I understand that you must put Eva first, but I want you to know that I loved every minute of you being here with me this weekend. It’s made me realise that we might be able to have something more than just a casual fling.’
She opened her mouth to speak but he held up his hand. ‘No pressure, nothing serious, but maybe we could be exclusive, only dating each other. That way you wouldn’t have to experience any more bad dates, and I wouldn’t have to worry about clingy women looking for a proposal.’ He tried to smile, but it felt like his face was made of rubber and Emilia looked horrified. As he’d talked, her eyes had widened, as if with growing fear, and a pulse ticked frantically in her neck. Not the reaction he’d hoped for.
‘You don’t have to answer now,’ he added, deflated. ‘Just have a think about it.’ Felipe sucked in some breaths, feeling as if he’d just run a marathon and then ripped his racing heart out of his chest and held it out to her as a gift. How had he misjudged this so badly?
She gripped both his hands, looking up at him and held his stare. ‘I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, and this weekend has been wonderful, the most fun I’ve had in years.’ She paused, looked down at her feet, and Felipe heard the but coming as if from a mile away. His stomach sank.
She looked up, smiled sadly. ‘You’ve helped me to move past my grief, and I’ll always be grateful to you for that.’
Internally, Felipe recoiled. He didn’t want her gratitude. He wanted her passion. He knew it was there—he felt it every time they touched. But maybe she was holding out for more. Maybe when her heart had healed she’d go searching for someone she could love again. Someone without his track record for failing when it came to relationships. Someone who could be her Mr Right.
‘But we agreed to keep it casual,’ she went on, calmly delivering the final blow. ‘I’m still finding my way as a single parent, still acclimatising to a new job and a new country. Still figuring out if I want to even be in another relationship in the future. I don’t think I can devote energy to anything else right now.’
Felipe stiffened. This sounded like goodbye, not just from the weekend but from them. He glanced away and saw distant headlights slowly approaching in the dark. Emilia’s taxi.
‘So you don’t want to see me again? Not even casually?’ he asked, his throat raw. How could she just walk away after everything they’d shared? How could he let her go when it felt so utterly wrong? But he couldn’t force her to care about him or want to date him. Maybe she was right. Maybe he’d never be what she needed. Maybe to try and cling onto something with her would only hurt her, and by extension Eva, in the long run.
‘I can’t risk having feelings for you, Felipe.’ She tilted her head and squeezed his hand, but he was in no way comforted. She saw through him, saw how he might let her down. ‘Maybe it’s best to call it a day now,’ she went on, ‘before we both get our hearts broken. Neither of us needs that.’
Felipe nodded, his mind and body reeling. She was right to protect herself. The last time he’d tried a serious relationship he’d been a bad husband, and he’d spent years since then swearing off commitment. But now that she was ending it, now that there was a hole blown through the centre of his chest, he could clearly see that it was already too late for him. He already had deep, deep feelings for Emilia. Not that it was enough.
The taxi pulled up. Emilia pressed a brief kiss to his cheek, her soft and warm lips doing nothing to ward off the chill in his bones. ‘Thank you for a lovely weekend. I’ll always remember it.’
He frowned, silently watching her walk away. She handed her overnight bag to the driver and quickly ducked into the back seat without a backward glance. Felipe stood frozen, rocked to the core. Just like that, what had begun so passionately and unexpectedly was over.
As the taxi drove away—the taillights getting smaller and smaller, finally disappearing around a bend in the road—Felipe could only reel in shock and pain. It was a weekend he’d never forget either, a weekend he’d always remember as the time he had his wise old heart crushed to smithereens.