EMILIA DRAGGED IN a shuddering breath as they stared at each other. She couldn’t look away. That he’d driven over after his night out with his brother, that he’d not only listened to her express her concerns for Eva and talk about Ricardo, but also shared his feelings with her—it was humbling. At work, he was so controlled and driven and confident, she hadn’t expected him to voice such deep-rooted doubts over his failed marriage and his relationship with his family.
He had so many positive attributes, but he was also a complex man with fears and regrets, just like her. The more time they spent together, the closer they became. And right then, the only thing she was certain of was how stupid it would be to ignore their continuing connection.
‘You think I’m beautiful,’ she whispered, her pulse tripping.
‘I do,’ he said, his grip tightening on her hand.
Silently, she leaned forward. He moved too and their lips met in a rush. Desperate, she whimpered. Felipe gripped her neck and her waist and commanded the kiss, which went from zero to ten in a second, as if they’d both been holding back for too long.
‘I can’t stop thinking about you,’ he said, kissing a path down her neck as his hands slid inside her sweater to caress her skin. ‘I can’t stop wanting you.’
‘Me neither,’ she moaned, tilting her head to expose the sensitive places on her neck to his lips.
Why had she bothered with the dating app when she didn’t even need to think about her relationship with Felipe? They just understood each other. Clicked. It was always easy, always uplifting and, if she was honest, she’d never stopped wanting him since the first time they were intimate.
‘Come with me.’ She stood, tugging him to his feet and leading him to her bedroom, closing the door to keep the dog out. They pulled at each other’s clothes, their lips moving frantically together as they inched towards the bed, their tongues surging wildly to assuage the burning desperation of every touch.
This felt so right, it was almost terrifying. Only it wasn’t about feelings or for ever. Felipe made her feel safe and accepted, so she could almost glimpse the old, resilient, grief-free Emilia, a woman who’d had it all: a husband she loved, a daughter, a career. Was that woman gone for ever, or was she there somewhere, licking her wounds, ready to one day make a comeback?
Because she was tired of thinking and wanted only to feel, she fumbled with Felipe’s shirt buttons, exposing his bronzed chest, pressing her lips over his pecs and the valley between as her hands reached for his belt. She looked up as she stripped him. His stare was almost black with desire, as he removed her sweater and cupped her breasts, thumbing the nipples.
‘I hated seeing you with him tonight,’ he said, his voice breaking with the depth of his passion.
His jealously inflamed her, matching her own for the woman he’d taken out the night before. She crashed her lips back to his and slid her tongue into his mouth, as he unclasped and then removed her bra.
She didn’t want to think about him being intimate with anyone else, even though she knew if he’d been single for fifteen years that he’d had his fair share of lovers.
Felipe gripped her upper arms and tore his mouth away. ‘Ask me. I know you want to.’
She froze, her heart raging. She could pretend she had no clue what he was talking about. But what was the point? They were clearly frantic for each other.
‘Did you sleep with her last night?’ she asked, her jealousy a shocking sting in her veins. She’d never been the possessive type and Felipe wasn’t hers, but she wanted to know that he was as consumed with her as she was with him.
‘No,’ he said, hauling her lips back to his. ‘I only want you.’
His dark head swooped and he captured her nipple between his lips, his tongue flicking over the bud. A deep ache settled in her belly. His hands unbuttoned her jeans as he sucked, pushing them over her hips until she’d wriggled free. Then he cupped her backside in both hands, grinding his erection between their bodies.
‘Why haven’t we been doing this all week?’ she asked, slipping her hand inside his jeans.
She stroked him, smiling when he crushed her to his naked chest and groaned. ‘I have no idea. Because we’re stupid?’
Emilia laughed, pressed her lips over his neck, his jaw, his chest. Felipe fumbled with his wallet, removing a condom, and Emilia shoved at his jeans and boxers, sliding them over his hips so he could kick them off.
When he stood before her, gloriously naked and erect, and before he could put on the condom, she dropped to her knees and took him into her mouth. She wanted him as wild as she felt. She wanted to imprint the memory of tonight, of their undeniable passion, in both their minds. She wanted to banish any trace of her disastrous date and Felipe’s previous lovers.
‘Emilia,’ he growled, watching her take him, his hands cupping her face, fingers tunnelling into her hair. ‘You are so sexy.’
Power surged through her as his hips jerked and his skin flushed and his breathing turned harsh and ragged. He was so male—honourable and honest and trustworthy. He’d come to her rescue tonight in his own respectful way, not that she’d needed him. But it was good to know she wasn’t totally alone, that she had a champion, someone on the same wavelength, someone who cared.
Before she could get carried away, he jolted his hips back and dragged her to her feet, kissing her soundly while he rolled on the condom and removed her underwear. His hands caressed her breasts as he walked her back towards the bed. She sat and he leaned over her, tonguing first one nipple and then the other. Emilia sighed, leaning back on her elbows as Felipe trailed the tip of his tongue down her body, until his mouth covered her sex.
She gasped, her head light with delirium, the waves of pleasure scalding her, hotter and hotter. ‘Yes,’ she cried, tunnelling her fingers through his hair as he worked her higher and higher, his hands splayed across her backside, holding her to his mouth.
Just when she thought she might come, he surged to his feet and covered her body with his, grasping one thigh over his hip as he pushed inside her.
‘Look at me,’ he said, entwining their fingers together as his hips moved in slow, deep thrusts.
Emilia held his stare, her body alive from his touch, her heart thudding against his as heat consumed her.
‘I want to take you dancing, I want to pull out your seat and see you home safely,’ he said, the sincerity in his stare a confirmation of Felipe’s passionate nature.
‘Yes...’ Emilia nodded, chasing his lips with hers to satisfy the need burning her up.
He pulled back, his hips thrusting in a steady rhythm that took her higher and higher. ‘I want to hold your hand and listen to your concerns and laugh with you.’
She nodded, too choked and turned on for speech. He was everything she needed in that moment, his words soothing her soul, his body driving her closer and closer to blissful release.
‘I want you, Emilia,’ he ground out, picking up the pace, shunting her higher and higher.
‘Felipe,’ she cried as her orgasm struck.
He kissed her, thrusting through every spasm until she was spent, and then he too let go, groaning against the side of her neck as his body stiffened in her arms.
Emilia held him as they each caught their breath, her heart a wild flutter behind her ribs and her throat tight with emotion. Their intense passion was difficult to deny, but after the emotional rollercoaster of the evening, now that they’d satisfied their physical need for each other, she wasn’t sure how to feel apart from unsettled, as if she were being chased in the dark.
She lay still, her heart banging against his. This time had been different, more intimate, especially after their heartfelt talk.
But nothing had changed. They weren’t making a commitment to each other. Felipe had managed to avoid serious relationships for fifteen years—Emilia was still very much focused on making sure Eva’s life was stable, and was clinging to the precious memories of Ricardo. Not to mention that they worked together. If they didn’t handle this physical side of their relationship like mature adults, it could damage their professional relationship when it ended. And given Felipe’s commitment avoidance and her fear of opening up her emotions, it would end, probably sooner rather than later.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, raising his head to peer down at her.
She nodded, still overcome by what tonight meant. ‘I wasn’t expecting that to happen.’
He offered her a small smile. ‘Me neither, but we don’t need to overthink it. You wanted me, I wanted you. We’re both single.’
Emilia nodded, the simplicity of his explanation not quite dispelling her unease.
‘I should go,’ he said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. His smile touched his eyes and she knew that he too was feeling a little caught off guard by what they’d just done. ‘But first, I wanted to ask you something.’ He rolled to the side and drew the covers over her body. ‘Would you like to be my date at Thiago and Violetta’s wedding next weekend?’
Emilia stilled, her heart racing with panic. A wedding date felt more serious than a regular date.
‘We can make a weekend of it,’ he added, perhaps sensing her hesitation. ‘I’ll even give you a personal tour of the estate, show you the vines and the cellar, and the very vat where I crushed my first vintage by foot when I was six years old.’
His excited smile was hard to resist. And where was the harm? He wasn’t suggesting they become an item or even asking her to date him exclusively. As long as no one at the hospital got wind of it, it might be fun. A chance to dress up and dance and relax in a stunning part of Argentina, with a man who understood and respected her and had done so much for her confidence these past two weeks.
‘I’d love to...’ she said, chewing at her lip. ‘But I don’t know... I’d have to tell Eva if I’m away for the whole weekend, and I don’t want to confuse her about us. Especially when I keep telling her that we’re just friends.’
‘Of course.’ He nodded, the sparkle in his eyes dimming. ‘We are friends, but I understand if it’s too hard to explain. It’s your call.’
Emilia touched his face, stroking her fingers through his luxuriant hair. ‘Won’t your family get the wrong idea, too? You said they’re keen to see you settle down again. Won’t me turning up as your date make them mistake us for a couple?’
That would only put pressure on the situation and she wasn’t even sure herself what it was they were doing. Friends with benefits? Casual sex? Secret fake dating? It was all a messy blur.
Felipe took her hand and kissed the centre of her palm so her toes tingled. ‘They know me well enough to understand that just because I bring along a date it doesn’t mean I’m in a serious relationship. They know I’m done with those.’
Of course, his family knew him best. If he’d managed to stay single for fifteen years since his divorce, there was little risk of anyone, including Emilia, changing his mind.
‘And anyway,’ he added, ‘it was Thiago’s idea that I invite you. We can make it clear to anyone who asks that we’re just friends.’ He drew her lips back to him and pressed a whisper-soft kiss there, coaxing. ‘Say yes. I want to show you where I grew up.’
Emilia dragged in a shuddering breath, berating herself. Felipe was a committed bachelor. It was much more likely that his family would see her as the woman of the moment rather than a serious contender for his heart.
‘Okay. In that case, I’d love to go,’ she said, ignoring the prickles of possessiveness that once more reared their head. So there would be lovers after her—that suited her just fine. If she wasn’t ready to date strangers, she certainly wasn’t ready to open her heart up to feelings. She might never be ready for that...
‘But please don’t mention that I’m going with you to anyone at work,’ she urged. ‘I don’t want the hospital rumour mill to start up, and you are still my supervisor.’
After this fling or whatever it was ended, they still had to work together. Neonatal surgery was a small specialist field. They couldn’t afford to allow their personal lives to damage the professional relationships they’d built up. And she highly valued his friendship. She wouldn’t want to lose that either.
‘Of course not,’ he said with a small frown, stealing one last kiss before leaving her bed to deal with the condom.
They dressed and returned to the living room, collecting up the wine glass and coffee cup and stacking them in the dishwasher.
‘I’ll see you at work Monday,’ Felipe said. ‘We have that Hirschsprung’s disease pull-through surgery first thing.’ He drew her into his arms for another searing kiss that stole her breath. She’d barely released him when there was the sound of a key in the lock and Luna hurried into the hall, her tail wagging.
‘Eva...’ Emilia froze, staring in horror at Felipe, who was fully clothed but had that arousing post-sex look going on—tousled hair, rumpled shirt, slumberous eyes.
Panic snatched at her breath. What had she been thinking inviting him here? She could have met him at his apartment. She didn’t want Eva to feel threatened or confused by her and Felipe’s relationship. And aside from great sex, which was the one thing she couldn’t discuss with her daughter, there really was nothing to tell.
Felipe nodded, stepped aside and ran his fingers through his hair while Emilia guiltily adjusted the neck of her sweater.
‘Hello?’ Eva called, appearing in the doorway with Luna a second later, her surprise at Felipe’s presence evident.
‘Mija, I thought you were spending the night at your friend’s place,’ Emilia said, praying that it wasn’t obvious that her and Felipe had just got out of bed. ‘You remember Felipe Castillo from the hospital, don’t you?’
Her voice was too high pitched. She sounded guilty, as if she’d done something naughty. She took some calming breaths, reminded herself she was a grown woman who deserved a sex life, and forced herself to appear nonchalant.
‘Hi,’ Eva said to Felipe, barely looking his way as she tossed her bag on the sofa and stooped to give Luna an ear rub. ‘Paloma’s boyfriend came over,’ Eva said, her voice flat with disappointment. ‘I didn’t want to play gooseberry, so I thought I’d leave them to it. Besides, I have heaps of studying to do tomorrow. I’m going to get up early and tackle my essay.’
‘Oh...okay,’ Emilia said, feeling flustered. ‘Well, Felipe was just leaving. He rescued me tonight from a horrible date, but I’ll tell you all about that tomorrow.’
‘See you,’ Eva said before heading towards her own bedroom with the dog in tow.
Emilia sighed, relieved that Eva hadn’t suspected a thing, but also guilt-ridden that she’d been so careless. She crept outside onto the doorstep with Felipe, gently pulling the door behind her.
‘That was close,’ she said, wincing. ‘Imagine if she’d come home five minutes earlier. How would I have explained that!’ She’d have to be more careful. Her daughter was her priority, and she’d almost put herself and Eva in an embarrassing situation simply because she found Felipe Castillo irresistible.
Felipe frowned, a flicker of hurt in his stare, although she might have imagined it. ‘It’s okay for her mother to have a healthy sex life,’ he said, gently raising her chin and kissing her softly. ‘I’m sure she’d understand that you have your own life, your own needs.’
Emilia said nothing. The trouble was she wasn’t a hundred percent convinced that it was okay for Eva to know those things, not when so much of her young life had been upturned by grief and confusion. Felipe wasn’t Eva’s father. Emilia certainly didn’t want to discuss with her whatever it was that she and Felipe were doing, especially when they were just fooling around.
And what if Felipe was wrong? What if the idea of her mother with another man did upset Eva? What if she saw Felipe as some sort of threat for her mother’s attention? What if she thought Emilia was trying to replace Ricardo? The poor kid had already been through so much. Emilia didn’t want to put any kind of strain on their close relationship.
‘Hmm,’ she said, ‘I’m not sure I’m ready for that particular parent–child conversation.’ She knew he meant well, but they weren’t a couple.
He accepted her excuse with a casual shrug, stepping back. ‘Goodnight, Emilia, sleep well.’
‘See you at work,’ she said, holding onto his fingers until the last possible moment as he reluctantly stepped away and headed for his car.
She stayed on the doorstep to watch him leave, her head all over the place. Felipe’s words rang through her mind. A big part of Emilia was scared to admit her own needs even to herself. Because admitting them meant acknowledging the hole in her life. She couldn’t smother Eva, or live vicariously through her daughter, simply because she was too scared to open herself up to a fulfilling relationship. No one could replace Ricardo—she’d have to reiterate that to Eva. But did Emilia truly want to be alone for the rest of her life?
As she headed to bed, the scent of Felipe’s cologne lingered on her sheets. Being brave enough to put her needs first and meet new people was one thing, but finding someone who she could connect with, trust and maybe open up her heart to was a whole other ballgame.
Even Felipe, who was head and shoulders above those dating app guys she’d met recently, wasn’t without risk. After all, he’d successfully and resolutely avoided a serious relationship and love for fifteen years.
Even if she wanted to, how could she put her bruised and terrified heart in the hands of a man like that?