Carolyn traveled with Freemont and his family to church the next morning. They took two buggies, the adults in one and the three boys in the other. Once they arrived, she still held back, politely greeting everyone but not being too open or friendly. Yet for the first time she wished things were different. She wished she hadn’t disappointed the people she left behind. She wanted to feel a part of this town that had changed so much. Maybe she would after her bakery opened and she proved Emmanuel wrong.
She went inside the barn and took a seat right before the service started. She looked over at the other side of the church where the men sat and saw Thomas Bontrager. Thomas’s sons surrounded him. They ranged from preschool to teenager, and they had become good friends with her nephews. Then she saw Atlee. Her heart warmed again, but her mind splashed cold water on it as she reminded herself he was leaving tomorrow. She pulled her gaze from him and focused on the service.
When church was over, she tried not to look for Atlee and stayed to the side as everyone visited. They had said their goodbyes yesterday, in the privacy of the bakery. She would rather have done it there than here among the rest of the community. Yet she couldn’t help sneaking a few glances around to see where he was.
“I hear you’re opening yer bakery next week.” Cevilla Schlabach approached her, leaning on her cane as she walked. She was more than eighty years old, but she had a youthful soul. “I can’t wait to taste yer bread twists. Mary says they’re the first treats I should try.”
Carolyn smiled. “I’ll make sure to save you some.”
Leaning closer, Cevilla said, “I also heard you’ve been spending some time with Atlee Shetler.”
Her cheeks grew hot. Was she the subject of gossip now?
“Oh, don’t worry. Nee one’s talking about it. Not like you think.” She nodded and gestured behind Carolyn. “There’s that charming young mann now.”
Carolyn had to resist turning around. She also had to resist chuckling. Atlee wasn’t exactly young, but in Cevilla’s eyes, she guessed, everyone was.
“Ignoring him, I see.” Cevilla gave her a crafty smile.
“I’m not ignoring anyone,” she snapped. Then she apologized. “That was uncalled for.”
Cevilla’s expression turned from crafty to serious. “It’s difficult to do things all by yerself. Makes a person tired and lonely. Gut thing you’ve at least had Atlee and yer bruder to help you.”
“Ya,” she said softly. “Gut thing.”
Cevilla put her hand on Carolyn’s arm. “Don’t fight it too long.” She patted her sleeve, then said, “Oh, there’s Joanna Byler. She’s another excellent cook. The two of you should swap recipes.” With steps slowed by age, she started toward the woman.
Carolyn saw Joanna talking with her sisters, Abigail and Sadie. The three of them had been young girls when Carolyn left, and now they were all married and had children.
She set those thoughts aside as she pondered Cevilla’s words. What had the woman meant? What was she fighting? Nothing, as far as she could tell. Everything was finally on track.
Atlee took a walk after an early supper. His mind was troubled, and it hadn’t been focused on the service today, which also bothered him. No, he’d been thinking about Carolyn. It had taken everything in his power to keep from seeking her out at church, even though they had parted ways at the bakery. Still, he wanted to see her again, and that was a problem.
He was so confused. Inside he was warring with guilt over his attraction to Carolyn and his devotion to May’s memory. He’d never been so conflicted. Everything in his life had been straightforward—except when May died. And even then, after he settled into his grief, his life was uncomplicated. But the past year he’d changed. Something had shifted inside him, and that shift was continuing, although this time he knew the catalyst.
He had to ignore those feelings. That would be easy enough once he was back in Fredericktown. Then he could return to his normal life—a life that, though he’d been restless and lonely, unexpectedly didn’t appeal to him at all anymore.
He found himself in front of Freemont’s home. That wasn’t surprising considering the short distance between the houses. The fact that he stopped was. Even more so, the fact that he was considering paying Carolyn another visit, although he didn’t have a reason to, befuddled him. See how confused I am, Lord? Mei thoughts are more jumbled than a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle.
He should just go back to the Bontragers’. He could take a nap. Or even better, pray for clarity. He could do a number of things on a Sunday evening besides visit Carolyn Yoder.
But none of them appealed to him more.
Atlee’s palms grew damp as he approached the front door. He wiped them on the thighs of his broadfall pants. He also took off his hat and smoothed his hair before replacing the hat on his head and knocking on the door.
Freemont answered. They’d met at church that morning, and Atlee had immediately liked him. “Hello, Atlee. What brings you by?”
“Uh . . .” He cleared his throat. “I was wondering, if, um . . .”
“Carolyn is home?”
Atlee nodded, wondering how Freemont knew he was going to ask about her. Had Carolyn said something to her brother about him? The idea that she might be mentioning him to her family made him feel warm inside.
“She went for a walk. She usually does on Sunday afternoons, and she’s not back yet.”
“Ah. Sorry I missed her, then.”
Freemont’s expression remained blank. “Should I tell her you stopped by?”
He paused. “Nee, that’s fine.”
“All right. We’ll see you around, then.”
“Actually, I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“I see. Traveling mercies, then. Hopefully you’ll come back and visit soon.”
Atlee nodded and left. Would he be back? Other than visiting the Bontragers, he wouldn’t have a reason. Except for Carolyn.
He went back to Thomas’s, but then he decided to keep going. He knew Carolyn wasn’t at the bakery since it was Sunday, but he had to look at it again. Sear it in his memory. Remember the place and the woman who had brought him back to life.
When he arrived, though, the front door was open. Odd. His heartbeat sped up. Maybe she had stopped by too. He could see her for the last time. He went to the closed screen door. “Carolyn?” he said, opening the door and walking inside, expecting to see her in the kitchen where she always was.
But what he saw froze his blood.