Carolyn dragged herself to the bakery Monday morning. When a tall, serious policeman arrived the evening before, he explained there had been a rash of vandalism in Barton and that the culprits were expanding to the small communities around the city. “We’ll be on the lookout, but make sure your doors are locked,” the officer said.
“I lock the bakery every time I leave,” she told him.
He gave her a sympathetic look. “I don’t know what to tell you, other than we’re on the trail of these people. Since their aim is to destroy and not steal, we think they’re a group of high school kids. As soon as we catch them, you can bet you’ll get restitution.”
“That doesn’t matter,” Freemont said.
Carolyn agreed. She didn’t want revenge or restitution. And now she wasn’t sure she even wanted the bakery anymore. Getting it ready seemed like too much work to do over, and even though she’d agreed to accept help, she didn’t expect everyone to drop what they were doing—especially with the way she’d been so distant since she came back.
Then there was Atlee. He said he’d be there for her, but how could he when he was leaving today? Her heart sank. She’d lost everything in the span of one day. Not that she ever had Atlee. But she was missing him already.
She opened the front door, and to her surprise her nephews and brother were already at work. Freemont had a key too. “I thought you were out on the farm,” she said.
“The animals are fine,” Seth said.
“We fed them,” Judah added.
“Daed says we can work in the fields this afternoon,” Ira explained.
She looked at Freemont, who gave her one of his rare smiles before he went back to dismantling the ruined display cases. In the kitchen, she set her lunch cooler on a worktable, then picked up a rag and filled a bucket with water and dish soap to start wiping the graffiti off the walls. Fortunately, whatever the vandals used was water soluble and came off with a little scrubbing.
The bell above her front door rang, and to her shock people from the community came pouring in with buckets, rags, brooms, and mops. Several men had tool belts slung around their waists. Without a word other than hello, they set to work.
As she looked at her family and community busy fixing what someone else had destroyed, she realized Emmanuel hadn’t broken her spirit. Neither had the vandals. She hadn’t lost everything, because even if she couldn’t get the bakery up and running, she had this—her family and the people of this community. Even Cevilla had come. She was sitting in the corner directing people at various jobs.
Most important, she realized her faith had been misplaced. She’d wanted God to do her bidding—to make her bakery a success. But that was for her own pride, the pride that had let Emmanuel’s hateful words sink deep into her soul. Instead of giving her what she wanted, God was giving her what she needed. Community. Humility. Cooperation. She’d been too self-absorbed to see it sooner. It was so overwhelming that Carolyn had to get some fresh air.
She walked out the back door of the bakery. Without warning, her thoughts turned to the last day she’d seen Emmanuel. He had summoned her for another talking-to, although she had no idea which picky Ordnung rule she’d violated this time.
“Do you really think I can let you continue in yer rebellious ways?”
Carolyn threaded her fingers together, her mouth and throat feeling like cotton. “I said I was sorry.”
“A weak apology.” Emmanuel sat down in his chair and looked up at her. Even though he was seated and she was standing, she still felt like he was looming over her. “If you were truly sorry, you wouldn’t continue to disobey God’s rules.”
“Yer rules, you mean.”
His right brow lifted, the only visible sign that he had heard her. “They are one and the same.”
They weren’t, but she was already in enough trouble. She didn’t need to dig herself into a deeper hole. She gritted her teeth as she looked down at her black tennis shoes.
Emmanuel folded his hands over his abdomen. “You were told not to work for non-Amish businesses.”
She glanced up. “But how else am I going to learn how to run mei own bakery?”
He scoffed. “You won’t. Birch Creek doesn’t need a bakery. It will invite outsiders to our community.”
“I don’t see the problem with that. Birch Creek has to grow eventually.”
His eyes turned dark. “The future of mei community is none of yer concern.”
Carolyn didn’t miss the use of the word mei. “Yer community?”
Emmanuel rose from his chair. “You will quit yer job in Barton. You will stay at home, learning how to care for a haus and familye, until you marry.”
She lifted her chin. “What if I don’t want to marry?”
“Oh. You will get married. I will make sure of it.”
“And I’m sure I will have mei own business.” Although she was shaking inside, she was angry enough to lash out at him. “And if I marry, it will be to a mann I love.”
To her surprise he laughed. “Do you really think you’ll be successful in any endeavor after yer disrespect today? Everyone already knows you’re full of trouble. You’ll be lucky to have a friend, much less anything else.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Nee, Carolyn.” He moved closer to her and said in a low voice, “It’s a promise.”
She’d always blamed Emmanuel for everything, and she’d harbored a grudge against him for so long. But while she knew in her heart he’d been wrong, she hadn’t handled herself well either. She’d been prideful even then, more worried about her own goals and dreams than anything or anybody else. It had taken her a long time to understand what God had been trying to show her. Emmanuel hadn’t been standing in her way. She had.
“Oh, Lord, forgive me.” She looked up at the sky, the clouds hazy through the sheen of her tears. “Forgive mei pride and mei hardened heart. Even though I thought I lost everything . . . you are still merciful to me.” She hung her head, tears slipping down her cheeks.
“He has a way of surprising us, doesn’t he?”
She looked up to see Atlee walking toward her. She wiped her cheeks. “I thought you went back to Fredericktown.”
“I was going to.” He moved closer and looked down at her. “But someone needed me. Yesterday I said I’d be here when you needed me, Carolyn. Remember? That was a promise.”
She lifted her trembling chin. “I never said I needed you.” But her words were weak. She was weak, and from now on she would turn to God for strength.
He gave her a half-grin. “You didn’t have to.”
Without thinking, she fell into his arms and breathed out a sigh when he held her close. When she realized what she’d done, she pulled away. “I’m sorry.” She could barely look at him. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t mind.”
“Still, it wasn’t right. I’m not in mei right mind, obviously.” The words started spilling out, as they did when she was embarrassed. “So much has happened, I’m just overwhelmed and not thinking straight—”
“Carolyn. It’s okay.”
She looked up at him, nearly drowning in the kindness she saw in his eyes. There was also something else, something that gave her heart hope. “What about May?” she whispered.
He grew serious. “I’ll always love her.”
The hope deflated a bit. “I know.” His response wasn’t a surprise. And although she understood, and respected him all the more for his loyalty, she felt like a fool for wishing he also felt something else. Something for her.
“But I have to move on.” He glanced at the ground before facing her. “I’ve known it for a long time. What I didn’t understand was how I was going to do it. I think I’m starting to figure it out, though.”
She shivered, but she forced herself not to jump to any conclusions. “You have?”
He nodded. “I can’t keep living in the past, even if it’s easier in some ways. And I’ll admit I’m a little scared of the future. But you’ve inspired me, Carolyn. You took yer dream and made it a reality.”
“Look how that turned out.”
“But you’re here today. And you did what you had to do—you accepted help.” His expression grew soft. “I have to take that first step to living the rest of mei life too. When you asked me if someone was waiting for me back home, I realized there’s nothing there for me except May’s memory.” He put his hand over his heart. “And I can keep her close to me here.”
“That’s . . . nice.” And it was. Beautiful, actually. “She was a lucky woman.”
“I was a lucky man.” He tilted his head. “Still am, I hope.” He moved closer to her. “I like you, Carolyn. It feels rusty to say that. But it also feels right.”
“I . . . like you.” It didn’t feel rusty to her at all. It felt new and exciting.
“But I’m asking for patience. I’m struggling with guilt over May. I have to admit that. I need to work out some feelings before I can come back for mei next baking lesson.”
She couldn’t believe he was bringing up baking at a time like this. Yet it was the perfect thing for him to say. “I guess you’re holding me to mei word, then?”
He nodded. “And you can hold me to mine. As soon as I can, I’ll be back. By then you’ll have the bakery up and running, and you can teach me all yer baking secrets.”
She laughed, the tension from the last few months finally releasing. She held out her hand to him. “Consider it done.”
He gathered her in his arms and leaned his chin on the top of her white kapp. “Consider it done.”