NUDITY

I have seen three emperors in their nakedness and the sight was not inspiring.

Prince Otto Von Bismarck (1815–1898), German statesman and Prime Minister of Prussia

Whew, what a bony butt.

Michael Douglas, American actor, on seeing himself naked on screen

Don’t miss our show! Six beautiful dancing girls! Five beautiful costumes!

Poster outside a London nightclub

The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music does.

Robert Helpmann (1909–1986), Australian dancer and choreographer

I’m not against naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be.

Benny Hill (1924–1992), British comedian

Full frontal nudity … has now become accepted by every branch of the theatrical profession with the possible exception of the lady accordion players.

Denis Norden, British comedy writer, in You Can’t Have Your Kayak and Heat It, 1973

I didn’t pay three pounds fifty just to see half a dozen acorns and a chipolata.

Noël Coward (1899–1973), British playwright, after watching male nude scenes in David Storey’s The Changing Room, 1971

Actually, nude bathing at seaside resorts is nothing new to this country, or at least certain parts of it.

Mr E. Bareham, editor of British Naturism magazine

Scores of artistically selected teams of traditional dancers from various parts of Kenya exposed themselves to the world Scouts delegates in a grand performance on Saturday night.

From Kenyan newspaper Daily Nation, quoted in Private Eye magazine

I’m an interesting, shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so.

Dame Edna Everage (aka Barry Humphries), Australian comedian

To an artist a husband named Bicket

Said ‘Turn your backside and I’ll kick it.

You have painted my wife

In the nude to the life,

Do you think for a moment that’s cricket?’

John Galsworthy (1867–1933), British writer

People who live in glass houses should pull the blinds when removing their trousers.

Spike Milligan (1918–2002), British comedian, in The Little Pot Boiler, 1963

It was nice to see your private parts anyway.

David Frost (1939–2013), British television broadcaster, to Lord Montagu, who explained that part of his stately home was open to the public

If one wants to see people naked one doesn’t go to the theatre, one goes to a Turkish bath.

Noël Coward, in The Observer, 1971

Oh yes, I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe (1926–1962), American actress, discussing a nude photograph of herself, with a journalist who asked whether she had anything on

I think naked people are very nice. Posing in the nude is perhaps the best way of reaching people.

Stella Stevens, American actress

This is ‘in the raw’ theatre. There have been objections on moral grounds. But the main worry is hygiene. People fear AIDS. However, the nudists will be screened off from the rest of the audience and individual washable seat covers will be supplied.

Spokesman for the Brewhouse Theatre in Taunton, after there were protests when the management agreed that a group of nudists should be allowed to enjoy the play Steaming stark naked

My way probably won’t work for most people, but the more I got naked the more comfortable I felt.

Rihanna, Barbadian singer

I admire a person who, for the love of art, is able to take off their clothes in front of a camera. But I’m not capable, I’m too cowardly for that.

Shakira, Colombian singer

We’ve been asked to do Playboy together, me and Victoria, as a pair. I don’t think I’ll ever go naked, but I’ll never say never.

David Beckham, British footballer