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The sun rose over the Wichita horizon that Saturday morning, and I woke up after an uneasy night of sleep. Even after my phone conversation with Maggie, who I hoped would calm me down, my mind was filled with excitement over the day that lied ahead. Within a couple of hours, I was scheduled to take my place at my table in the hotel's ballroom, and participate in my first ever book signing event. However, at the same time, I was concerned there would be more pranks played upon me. I believed after finding the mysterious surprise on my bed a mere twenty-four hours before, no one would be daring enough to attempt anything with an army of readers passing through the aisles, would they? Stephanie, Yolanda, and I talked yesterday about fan cliques ganging up on authors in the past on social media. Could one be plotting against me to cause a scene during the event? I prayed this would not be the case over the course of the following few hours because I knew how hard Alice and Wendy had worked on organizing the event, and they wouldn’t want any drama to cast a dark cloud over the proceedings.
Although one would think I wouldn’t have had much of an appetite, I decided to order room service for my morning meal. After consuming a little heartier breakfast compared to what I had the day before, I got dressed in a tasteful blue polo shirt, and black dress pants. I obtained a luggage cart and proceeded to haul my wares down to the ballroom to set up my table.
~ * * * ~
I wheeled my cart, which housed the boxes containing my books, into the ballroom, and began looking for the name placard on my assigned table. Alice and Wendy were both milling around the entrance to help facilitate the setup for the day's proceedings. I debated about alerting them to the shenanigans from the day before, but saw they were otherwise occupied, so I decided against it. They appeared to have had enough on their plate as it was, and I didn’t want to cause any additional headaches for them with my concerns; even though I knew they would be willing to help, if they found it necessary.
Some authors were arranging their table displays with their books and swag, while others were in the process of setting up banners, advertising either themselves or their latest releases. I noticed Yolanda and Stephanie were arranging their displays, and I waved to them in acknowledgment. I located my table, and was about to unpack my wares when I noticed my mysterious prankster had left another present for me. This time, it was a pair of furry handcuffs.
I lowered my head and sighed. I was hoping for an incident-free Saturday, but I knew after the dildo incident there was no guarantee it would have been a one-time thing. I attempted to stow away the latest present underneath my table when a couple familiar spectral voices attempted to reason with me.
"Well," Karen mused, "it isn't that bad."
"And your reasoning for that is?" I probed.
"Look at it this way," Amber reasoned. "You write detective fiction. The handcuffs could be used as a prop; a conversation starter, at that."
"I could understand that if it were a standard pair of handcuffs. But these are more the kind you'd find in a kinky bedroom setting. I think this hooligan is trying to throw me off my game, on purpose."
"Are you sure about that?” Amber asked. “I think they know how nervous you must be, what with this being your first signing, and all.”
Karen concurred, “They're probably trying to get you to feel at ease. You know, laugh about the whole experience, and have fun in the process."
"Have fun in the process?" I paused for a moment before saying, "That's some pretty messed up logic there, girls."
"We’re serious, Phil,” Karen pointed out. “You've been feeling anxious in the days leading up to this trip. Now that the day has arrived, you are a bundle of nerves. Your lack of sleep last night is proof-positive of that. These two pranks are most likely being done to help lighten you up."
"Perhaps, but if anything, they've ratcheted up my anxiety dial to eleven. I'm supposed to be professional and talk about my books, but all I can think about are these marital aids being left for me as apparent 'gifts'."
Amber and Karen continued to attempt to be voices of reason, but I wasn't having any part of it. I was busy trying to set up my table display. Fortunately, I only had the two books and a limited amount of rack cards for my swag, so I didn't take long to get everything organized. I took my seat, and attempted to calm myself down. All of the attendees were given a couple bottles of water to help them make it through the signing, so I cracked one open, and took a couple of sips. Yolanda and Stephanie came by my table after they finished setting up theirs to see how I was feeling.
"How are you doing, Phil?" Yolanda asked.
I admitted, "Kind of anxious, as expected. I hardly got any sleep last night."
"First signings are always the most nerve-wracking," Stephanie noted. "But once things get underway, you'll be fine."
"Stephanie's right," Yolanda added. "As soon as the doors open, you'll assume the role of a salesperson, and engage the readers by offering your swag and telling them about your books."
I exhaled, "As long as no one peeks under my table, I should be fine."
The two ladies exchanged confused looks. "What do you mean?" Stephanie asked.
I reached underneath my table, and pulled out the furry handcuffs.
"Please tell me that's a prop that you brought," Stephanie remarked.
"I wish that was the case," I stated. "The prankster has struck again."
Yolanda looked at the trinket, then glanced over my book covers. "That's an interesting tie-in," she commented.
"I could understand that, if they were standard ones," I replied. "But these are not your average handcuffs."
The three of us looked at the present left for me for a moment before Yolanda spoke again.
"If anything," she suggested, "this could make some interesting plot fodder for a future book."
"There probably have been tons of romance books where furry handcuffs were used as a device," Stephanie mentioned.
Yolanda continued, "Yes, but not mystery novels."
I gave Yolanda a funny look. "You've got to be kidding me."
"I'm serious, Phil," she explained. "You could write a mystery book where your main character - a detective, right? - delves into a case that is set in the world of an S&M club, or something of the ilk."
I hesitated, "I don't know if I could write anything like that."
The three of us were about to debate further until Alice called for everyone's attention.
"Good morning, everyone," she announced. "We hope everyone is well rested, and ready to sign a lot of books. It is now fifteen minutes until we open the doors, so we ask all of the authors to take the seats at their tables."
"That's our cue," Stephanie said. "We'll catch up with you later."
"Think about my suggestion, Phil," Yolanda called out as she walked towards her table.
I shook my head, and scoffed at the idea. However, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a brilliant book idea. I didn't know how I would conceal my research, as my normal Internet search engine would probably pop-up a bevy of pornographic websites, but it sounded like a fun project. I grabbed a pad of paper from my welcome package and one of my signing pens, and jotted down a few quick notes. In the following ten minutes, I had compiled a couple of pages of plot points I could attempt to implement into this prospective novel. I filed the notes back in my bag, composed myself, and prepared for what was about to be, what I hoped, an exciting day.
~ * * * ~
As much as I didn't want to, I decided to leave the set of furry handcuffs on top of my table. It was a good idea that I did because the implement helped attract people to see what my books where about. When people stopped by, and quizzed me about my two books, I described the basic plot premises, and teased the interested parties about the future book idea Yolanda had suggested to me earlier. In the process of doing my elevator pitch, I was able to garner a few sales in the process. While I wasn't selling as many books as those who were in the romance genre, I was content with the numbers I was able to obtain.
I was amazed by the number of people who passed through the ballroom to visit the authors in attendance. Although the signing was open to the public, Alice and Wendy had sold VIP tickets to the event, which enabled not only access to the signing, but some of the extracurricular events associated to the weekend, like the meal Stephanie helped organize the night before, and the gala dinner and themed ball later tonight, after the signing. Some of them were fans of certain authors, like Stephanie and Yolanda. I admit I was a little jealous of them, but I realized it was because they have appeared at various signings in the past. I, on the other hand, was appearing at my first, and was beginning to attract a reader base. While I had family, and a few work colleagues back at the courier company, who were interested in my writings, this was my first true exposure to the reading public. It was an eye-opening experience, and one I was thankful I had made the trek to the American Midwest for.
~ * * * ~
One of the predicaments I experienced during the signing was deciding whether or not to leave my table in the event nature came calling. The trick was timing the crowd traffic perfectly where I could do my business without leaving a prospective reader waiting for me to return. When I felt the moment was right, I asked my table neighbor to watch my stuff when I had to go use the restroom and rushed to the nearby men's room. As I was washing up after tending to my need for relief, Amber appeared beside me, leaning up against the wall.
"You've been talking to Karen again, haven't you?" I joked.
The specter attempted to play dumb. "Whatever do you mean?" she asked.
"Showing up in a lavatory to talk to someone? That's usually a trait by the ghost of Gary's fiancée."
"I'll have you know, your best friend's voice of reason from the Other Side does not have the copyright on appearing in restrooms."
Just then, the other familiar ghostly spirit decided to chime in on the conversation.
“It’s true,” Karen replied. “While it seems like I appear in restrooms on a frequent basis, I don’t have sole proprietorship on the trope.”
"Fair enough. Is there any particular reason why you two decided to show up here and now?"
"We just wanted to say that the signing seems to be going better than you thought," Amber complimented.
"It has," I agreed. "I've made a lot of wonderful contacts, and gotten a few tips on how to grow my audience."
The specters were intrigued. "And how do you intend to do that?" Karen queried.
I explained to the two of them about increasing my presence on social media and explore the possibility of creating an online newsletter for my readers. I admitted I was hesitant about doing so because I am the type of person who doesn't want to bother people. However, the spiritual guides explained that if they would willingly subscribe to such a mailing, I wouldn't be harassing them at all. They would welcome any news and information about my current and upcoming releases. Amber and Karen cautioned my initial following would be small, but if I continued to engage potential readers, the number of followers would grow over time. I knew I would have to be patient because the process would be over a prolonged period, provided I maintained it on a regular basis, something I had been lax on when it came to updating my writing blog.
After my short chat with the sprits, I hurried back to my table, so I could resume meeting the attending public.
~ * * * ~
A few hours later, the signing portion of the weekend event came to a conclusion. All of the authors gathered up their leftover books and swag, and took them back to their hotel rooms. I was doing my best to ignore the announcement of winners for various giveaways by focusing on my own table. That was one problem I feared I would encounter during the signing: the temptation and allure of winning something by the luck of the draw. While it would not be a problem for most people, it was for me because of my illness: compulsive gambling. By partaking in any such contest, I would lose the 'sobriety date' I have worked so hard to obtain. Therefore, I decided to be an observer to the proceedings.
As I finished packing up my stuff, Stephanie and Yolanda came by my table once again to chat.
"Hey, ladies," I greeted. "How did you all do?"
"Pretty good," Stephanie commented. "I sold quite a few books."
"Same here," Yolanda added. "This had to be my most successful signing, ever. How about you, Phil?"
"I think I did pretty good for a first signing," I admitted. "I sold a few copies, and got a reasonable amount of curiosity seekers to my table when they saw my last-minute table addition."
"See," Yolanda remarked, "I told you the handcuffs would attract more people to your table."
"It did," I conceded. "Although, I wish I would have sold more of my books."
"It's not all about selling books, Phil," Stephanie pointed out. "It's also making friends with fellow authors, and making connections with readers and bloggers."
"Stephanie's right," Yolanda noted. "Bloggers help advertise your books through promotion, whether it be reviewing them, or doing release blitzes."
"I don't know if I convinced anyone to review my mysteries," I doubted. "But if one of them would be kind enough to give me some favorable publicity, I wouldn't complain."
The three of us shared a laugh before heading back to our respective rooms to prepare for a themed gala dinner that would close out the event.