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The next day, after packing up my wares, and having a decent breakfast at the hotel, I caught the shuttle bus back to the airport for the flight back to Toronto. I decided to place the incriminating joke gifts into my checked luggage, so the TSA Agents wouldn't pull me aside and start giving me the third-degree. After passing through the security check, I made my way to my gate, and found an available seat in the waiting area. I was expecting Amber or Karen to keep me company, but they were nowhere to be found. I figured it was probably for the best, as I would've gotten some strange looks from other travelers, wondering why some guy was talking to himself. I was about to pop in the earbuds to my digital music player when I was tapped upon my shoulder.
"Hey, Phil,” Yolanda greeted. “Don't tell me we're flying back on the same flight.”
"Apparently so," I confirmed. "I doubt we'd be sitting beside each other, though."
We checked our boarding passes, and my suspicions were correct. We were sitting a few rows apart from one another. This brought relief to us both because while we became friends with one another at the event, having a long flight home to decompress was first and foremost upon our respective agendas. However, the two of us decided to pass the time until we boarded by recapping the events of the past few days.
"So," she queried, "did you ever find out who left those pranks for you?"
I shook my head. "Nope," I answered. "I never was able to. Now that the event is over, I'm not sure I ever will. At least I checked them in my luggage, so I won't have the Customs agent back in Toronto giving me the third degree."
"Do you know what you plan on doing with them?"
"I'm not sure. I was thinking of giving them to my fiancée as a novelty gift, but I don't know if she'd be receptive to them, or not. Knowing her, she’d probably want to clean them first, just in case they had any ‘foreign contaminants’ on them."
Yolanda laughed. "She’s one of those ‘neat freaks’, huh?”
“To a degree, yes. But I can understand where she is coming from.”
“If I was her, I know I'd like them. There's nothing wrong with a little kink in the bedroom."
"Perhaps," I doubted. "But she and I haven't quite reached that level in our relationship yet. I mean, we've slept under the same roof, but..."
My fellow author was surprised. "You mean," she queried, "you two haven't knocked boots yet?"
I chuckled, "I think this subject is a little too personal to discuss. We've just met, and I like to keep certain aspects of my personal life private."
"I respect that," Yolanda resigned. "I'm sorry if I've gotten too nosy."
"It's okay," I assured. "No harm, no foul."
The two of us continued to chat for a while longer until they announced our group was ready for boarding. Yolanda and I gathered our carry-on luggage, and proceeded to line up. The line moved on, and we had our passports and boarding passes scanned. The two of us started to proceed down the catwalk toward the aircraft. Just before we were about to step onto the plane, Yolanda tapped my shoulder.
"Just one thing," she whispered to me. "Once you collect your checked luggage, I'm going to need my vibrator and handcuffs back."
I was shocked. All of this time, my fellow Canadian was the person who was responsible for the two pranks played on me during the past couple of days.
“You,” I quizzed, “you were behind all of this?” Yolanda gave me a sly smile, and nodded. I continued, “But why?”
Yolanda explained, “When we met at the hotel bar on Thursday night, I could tell you were nervous about the event since it was your first ever signing. I thought I could help a fellow Canuck by making him feel at ease.”
I was confused. “Making me feel at ease? Yolanda, you snuck into my hotel room and planted a marital aid on my bed. Then, the next morning, you left the handcuffs on my table just before they let all of the ticketholders in. If anything, you ratcheted up my anxiety to eleven.”
“I’m sorry to have made you feel that way, Phil,” she apologized. “I didn’t mean for you to be anxious. I was hoping you could have fun over the whole weekend, and I thought by making you laugh over the situation would help alleviate any concerns and worries you might have had.”
I was ready to cause more of a scene; however, after realizing I might have the Air Marshall kick me off the flight, I took a deep breath to calm myself down.
“I guess when things settled down in the end,” I mused, “I did have a good. I made some good connections in the book community, and in the process, formed a couple of friendships with yourself and Stephanie. Although, I think the one between the two of us is a little screwed up.”
Yolanda leaned up and kissed my cheek. “You’re a good guy, Phil. Maggie is very lucky to have you. Just don’t sell yourself short, and I hope you’re able to come out to more signings in the future. We need more males in the community, and I think you’d be a good fit within it.”
I smiled at my fellow author and the two of us gave each other a friendly hug before she walked past me to board the plane, humming all the way. I shook my head, chuckling over the revelation, and walked onto the aircraft. As I made my way to my seat, a familiar voice finally started to chime up.
“Well,” Amber started, “that was one hell of a revelation.”
“It was,” I agreed. “I never would have suspected Yolanda was the one behind those two pranks.”
Karen appeared on the other side of me to offer her two cents. “I had a slight inkling,” she confessed.
“Same here,” Amber concurred. “I had a feeling she was bad news the minute she sat next to you at the hotel bar on Thursday night.”
“Be it as it may,” I countered, “she explained that it was all in good, harmless fun.”
“True,” Amber pointed out, “but does make me wonder if she’s done anything similar to other first-time authors at other signings she’s appeared at.”
“I doubt she would’ve done the same elsewhere,” I replied. “She did point out that I was a male at a predominantly female event and noticed how nervous I was. The good thing was, there wasn’t any ill-intent meant by her antics.”
“Still,” Karen wondered, “it must make you cautious about doing other multi-author events in the future.”
I settled into my seat, and stated, “I’d probably look into ones closer to home. While I love to travel, I think having to deal with being alone, save for the two ghosts talking to me, might be too taxing on my psyche.”
I popped a piece of gum into my mouth and stuffed my ears with pieces of tissue to combat the changes of air pressure. But the real reason was to try to drown out the further conversation from Amber and Karen. Once the plane had taken off, I settled in for a little nap where I dreamt about seeing my Maggie once again after my return to Canada.