Hattie had no clue what a peck on the nose meant beyond a disappointingly chaste gesture which still left her feeling flat the following evening. Especially as, for a split second, she had been convinced Jasper had intended a more romantic sort of kiss which she would have welcomed had his lips not suddenly changed direction at the last moment.
Fortunately—or unfortunately because she was still in two minds about it—she had mustered the strength from somewhere to stop herself from dragging him back and kissing him properly herself. Aside from being presumptuous and unladylike, although neither of those things had particularly bothered her in the moment, it was her inexperience and lack of confidence in her body which had prevented her from finishing what she had been convinced he had intended to start.
But had he really, or was she merely hoping he had so much she’d imagined it?
And therein lay the crux of the matter.
Somewhere in their short reacquaintance, he had gone from being a person she was worried about to someone she cared about. That she could be herself with Jasper was the icing on the cake. Around him, she never felt like an ugly, lame, old hag—to paraphrase Jim—and that was because Jasper never ever treated her as if she was broken. While she did not agree with all of young Jim’s angry summary of her body—because she wasn’t ugly, at least not above the waist at any rate, and at twenty she was a long way off old—she was lame and she was no longer perfect and just because Jasper enjoyed her as a friend did not mean that he found her attractive in other ways.
She might be inexperienced in romantic relations, but even she knew there was an ocean of difference between liking a member of the opposite sex and liking them. The latter, from what she could make out, involved heated looks and lingering glances. Lust and longing, and while she was now categorically experiencing both for Jasper, she could secretly swoon for him as much as she wanted but it was no guarantee he would swoon back.
Besides, he was, without a doubt, a man of the world. One who likely did have more notches on his bedpost than she had had hot dinners, exactly as Freddie had cautioned. He was also a handsome and charming devil who could still have his pick of women. He might well currently be the scandalous owner of a notorious gentlemen’s club and about to be a worse scandal once the news of Izzy leaked out, but he was also a wealthy peer and the heir to a dukedom and such things tended to overrule society’s most fervent objections given time. Hattie sincerely doubted there was a debutante this Season who would rebuff his advances if he made any, and she remembered with the utmost clarity how successful a flirt he could be as she had witnessed it plenty of times in the past while never ever being on the receiving end of it.
Even recently, at the two social functions he had assisted her at, while he had flirted shamelessly with Annie, Kitty, Dorothea, Hattie’s mother and half of all the other ladies he had briefly collided with, it had never once occurred to him to flirt with her. That not insignificant detail spoke volumes so, with that in mind, she probably had misread the apparent signals last night. For surely a man on the cusp of romantically kissing a woman would have no issue flirting with her first?
And then, of course, he had just done the unthinkable and felt her dratted leg as he had helped her off the wall, so knew the limp was the tip of the iceberg. As he had manoeuvred her calf and her ankle to safety, he had to have felt the misshapen bone, the wasted muscle and the scars. Even two thick layers of woollen stockings could not hide those and Hattie had foolishly worn silk in deference to the warmth of May, and silk was too thin to hide anything. Therefore, she was not surprised he might have been repulsed by it—because she certainly was—and even if he had been on the cusp of kissing her, she understood why he might have rapidly come to his senses. Which altogether made it unsurprising that he had pecked her nose and then hightailed it back over the wall as if the snarling hounds of hell were after him.
One thing was for certain—if he never mentioned the awkward incident again, neither would she. Least said, soonest mended, and she would rather have him as a platonic friend in her life than not in her life at all...
‘Are you aware that you are muttering and pulling faces?’ Opposite her in the carriage, Annie was staring at her as if she had gone mad. ‘For if you are not you might want to talk to Dr Cribbs as you are clearly losing your marbles.’
‘She has been very distracted all day.’ Kitty wiggled her brows. ‘I caught her sighing and staring out of the drawing room windows after breakfast.’
‘If I didn’t know better, I would say she was in love,’ added her mother with a wink at the rest of them, oblivious that her innocent teasing had actually struck a nerve. ‘She has that air about her, don’t you think? But alas, it cannot possibly be that as she refuses to meet anyone no matter how many eligible gentlemen her brother throws her way.’ It was meant as a flippant chastisement because her mother despaired of her lack of interest in the press-ganged bachelors on offer and she wanted her happily married, but the comment still made Hattie’s cheeks heat. Because she never missed an opportunity to torment her, Annie, of course, noticed this straight away.
‘Oh, my goodness, she’s blushing!’ Her twin reached over to prod her cheek, so Hattie swatted the accusing finger away. ‘Perhaps there is a man she has her beady eyes on after all.’
‘If there was, I would need opera glasses to see him from the wallflower chairs.’ Hattie schooled her features into her most peeved mask. ‘The only one who pursues me with any fervour is Lord Boredom, and frankly I wouldn’t have him if we were the last two people left on earth. But if you must know and you are genuinely interested in the reasons for my current distracted mood, the cause is a vexing male.’
‘I knew it!’ shouted Kitty and Annie in unison.
‘Vexing does sound promising.’ This time her mother winked at her father in her trademark mischievous manner. ‘I have always found you extremely vexatious, dear.’
‘As have I you.’ Her father smiled back at his wife soppily.
Annie pulled a disgusted face at both their parents before prodding her again. ‘What is his name then? Which one of Freddie’s acquaintances has caught your much too picky eye?’
‘His name is Jim.’ Hattie rolled her eyes to give gravitas to that lie. ‘And before you all start bouncing around and shaking the carriage in your excitement, he is a ten-year-old patient at the infirmary and not a suitor. One who has suffered a similar injury to mine but who has endured far more in other ways.’
As that truth felt much more solid, she continued, glad that her quick thinking had calmed her teasing family completely. ‘I am trying and failing to convince him he needs his leg broken again so that it can be reset and he can walk. But nothing I have said and done so far has worked. That is also why I am at the infirmary so much at the moment.’ Thank goodness they were in a carriage and not a church as Hattie deserved smiting for all her copious recent falsehoods. ‘But I am determined to wear his stubbornness down if it is the last thing I do.’
‘Oh, the poor thing.’ Her mother patted her knee, all thought of a mystery suitor banished now. ‘But well done you for persevering. If anyone can convince him, it will be you, Hattie. Nothing defeats you when you set your mind to it.’
‘Thank you, Mama...’ Clearly she was the world’s worst daughter, but when opportunity knocked, you had to let it in. ‘To that end, I have decided to redouble my efforts. The more hours I put in at his bedside, the more chances I have at success.’ That was almost the truth because she had decided that was the best course of action to win over Jim. Just in case the Almighty also realised half of those extra hours would likely be spent with Jasper and Izzy, she quickly checked outside the carriage window for a thunderbolt from the heavens. ‘It is for his own good.’
‘It is, dearest, and I am sure he will thank you for your tenacity one day soon.’ Then her mother cupped her cheek, tears in her eyes. ‘We are all so proud of you, Hattie. So many people would have given up after all you went through, but not my daughter. She not only fought tooth and nail for her own recovery but now she fights for others too. You are a credit to this family, darling.’
The overwhelming guilt made her toes curl, but she managed a smile, and thanked her lucky stars that the carriage finally lurched to a stop outside the Duchess of Laindon’s town house.
Inside, Hattie made short work of removing her cape and losing her family, and instead made her way to the empty wallflower chairs well before the dancing started. At least that way, she hoped she was making her own statement, that she was here by choice rather than drifting here despondent and ignored when every other debutante was claimed by a partner. She was about to lower her bottom on to one, when a sound came from behind.
‘Psst!’ She turned towards it and then gaped at the unexpected sight of Jasper partially hidden behind a potted palm in the alcove.
‘What are you doing here?’
With his finger to his lips, he glanced around him like a spy then ushered her over. As soon as she was within arm’s length he tugged her behind the palm too and grinned. ‘Rather than burn this house to the ground as you requested, I’ve had the most brilliant idea.’ His green eyes were dancing in a much too disarming fashion, reminding her of all the things she found attractive about him and sending her silly pulse racing. ‘Because good friends are there beside you no matter what, I’ve finally worked out a way to save you from both Lord Boredom and the crushing boredom of the wallflower chairs without breaking any of Freddie’s rules.’
‘If it involves us hiding behind this plant pot all night, I can tell you right now that will not work. Freddie watches me like a hawk and has taken to following me around at these affairs like a bad smell unless I am sat with another wallflower pretending to have a good time.’
‘That is the beauty of my brilliant idea.’ His smile was doing outrageous things to her insides. ‘As it involves sitting with the other wallflowers!’ He threw up his hands with a flourish as if he expected applause. ‘All of the other wallflowers!’
She threw up her own palms in confusion. ‘I really do not follow.’ As she dropped them, he caught them both in his and instantly sent her pulse spiralling into chaos.
‘The 1813 Wallflowers’ Club!’ When she still blinked back bewildered, he laughed. ‘Your own idea, Hattie Fitzroy! But you were quite wrong about nobody wanting to become a member! Nobody wanted to join The Reprobates’ until I made it appealing and then everyone wanted to join, which is exactly why I refuse to let just anyone join the Wallflowers’ Club. Its very exclusivity is what will make it so attractive.’
As the unholy trinity of his presence, his smile and his touch was scrambling her wits, she tugged her hands away and folded her arms before she glared down her nose at him. ‘Stop speaking in riddles, Jasper.’
His smug smile suited him too much. ‘Freddie has stipulated that I cannot consort with you alone in public, has he not? So let’s never be alone in public. Let us use his rules and bend them to suit us!’ His excitement was evident and the chandeliers picked out the most distracting amber flecks in his eyes. ‘And in the process, we two hopeless born rescuers can rescue every other wallflower, both male and female, while we are about it!’
He caught her hands again, which while the contact was supremely distracting, at least prevented hers from smoothing his lapels as they wanted to. ‘We form our own exclusive little club in the wallflower chairs made up of all the people society deems not quite good enough or too scandalous to dally with at these affairs, and we show our enjoyment by having a raucous, high old time rather than apologising by trying to blend in. We host our own entertainment within an entertainment and to hell with the rest of them!’
‘That is...um...’ How exactly was she supposed to construct a sentence when his thumbs were tracing lazy circles on her fevered skin? When his laughing eyes and conspiratorial whispers were seducing every fibre of her being?
‘It is genius is what it is, Hattie Fitzroy, utter genius! If I make a point of dancing the odd dance with an outrageous flirt at each entertainment, and flirting with a few others under Freddie’s nose, he’ll also realise I have no inappropriate designs on you!’ She smiled because he was smiling, even though that last comment wounded and the thought of him dancing with shameless flirts while he flirted with them churned the jealous acid in her gut. ‘So go round up the other wallflowers that you know and I shall meet you back at our chairs in fifteen minutes with their male counterparts.’
It actually took him closer to twenty minutes to return herding a handful of similarly ignored gentlemen like sheep. Together with her usual companions in the forgotten chairs, they made an eclectic if motley bunch. Jasper facilitated the introductions between the ladies and the gentlemen—the two poor but plain Misses Bristow, the plump and shy Lady Susannah Hargreaves, the bespeckled bluestocking Miss Winston and the toothy Lady Octavia were now joined by their male equivalents. Lord Marbury had a charming manner but barely stood five feet. Another fellow had an unfortunate stutter. Two weren’t blessed in the looks department at all and the last was so scandalously bankrupt and in debt that everyone knew it. Or as Jasper had whispered to her alone while sending hot shivers down her spine in the process, the ton knew the gent didn’t have a pot to piss in.
Jasper then procured a footman who promptly delivered them all alcoholic beverages, and with a few choice and entertaining stories from their new, self-proclaimed but deprecating host who claimed he was just too scandalous for anyone discerning to want to associate with, the newly formed 1813 Wallflowers’ Club were soon all laughing together. The bond of being excluded from the rest of the festivities and the relief at finally having others to talk to who were in the same boat united them quicker than weeks of acquaintance would normally.
As a consequence, the hours flew by and miraculously, Hattie had a wonderful time despite her brother’s constant staring—or outright glaring.
It took Freddie two hours to venture over, and like an admiral inspecting the fleet, he rocked on his heels beside Jasper and asked, ‘What is going on here then?’ To which a straight-faced Jasper replied with something deadly dull about Miss Winston’s fascinating recent study of the unique flora and fauna of Hyde Park—a topic which she had never once commented upon but nodded sagely alongside her new hero as if she had.
‘Join us, Freddie!’ He had then invited her brother to sit on a chair among them. ‘You might learn something, for I never knew there were so many different species of snail living in London.’
‘I only wish I could.’ Her brother’s eyes had then darted hither and thither searching for an escape. ‘But I fear I am being a bad husband by neglecting Dorothea for so long.’ And with that, he had scurried away but continued to watch the proceedings sporadically from across the ballroom with an expression of bewilderment, clearly in two minds as to whether he had had a lucky escape or had been thoroughly hoodwinked.
Then, their exclusive new club had laughed conspiratorially, and shared stories about the worst aspects of being a wallflower, prompting Hattie to confide in them about Lord Boredom. Which meant when he approached and tried to pick her off for a conversation while Jasper danced with a very pretty young widow, her new friends ran such swift but subtle interference, the unwelcome interloper was squeezed out of their closed ranks until he gave up trying and sloped off with his tail between his pompous legs.
When her father waved and signalled that the family were about to leave, Jasper moved closer to her chair, obviously pleased with himself. ‘I think that went well. Enough that it kept you from hiding out the night in the retiring room or getting sprayed with unwelcome spit.’ When she rolled her eyes at that he nudged her playfully, unaware that the brief contact caused a ripple of goose pimples to bloom on the back of her neck. ‘Admit it, I came up with the perfect solution to your predicament.’
‘It wasn’t the worst way to spend an evening.’ If she ignored how much his one dance with that flirty widow had bothered her.
‘Is that your way of saying, Thank you, Jasper for being my gallant knight in shining armour?’
‘A true knight doesn’t require affirmation of his shining status by reminding the damsel in distress of his efforts on her behalf, and then shamelessly courting compliments.’ She quirked one brow, trying to appear peeved and failing miserably. ‘That is very ungallant of you.’
‘Then I shall make amends by being ungallant all over again at the Earl of Burstead’s ball on Saturday. Shall I meet you in the wallflowers’ chairs around nine for the next club meeting?’
‘Nine suits.’
‘Marvellous...’ Jasper stared at his shoes and kicked an imaginary speck of dust, awkward all of a sudden which was most unlike him. ‘Marvellous...and...um...while we are discussing our calendars...will Izzy and I still see you tomorrow at the duck pond?’ A question which shouldn’t have sent her heart soaring but did.
Neither had mentioned her reckless, improper offer all night, and after he had found a noble way to continue their friendship in public, she hadn’t wanted to bring it up in case it made her appear keen to be more than his friend. ‘I wouldn’t importune you further under all normal circumstances, Hattie, you understand but...’ His smile was a little shy. Boyish. Utterly charming. ‘But Izzy caught wind of it and wants to bring a picnic for us as well as the ducklings...and I confess I am intrigued to meet your tiny tormentor, Jim.’
Her words tripped over themselves in their hurry to get out. ‘We shall be there.’ Or at least Hattie would. Wild horses wouldn’t keep her away now no matter how improper it was. Convincing Jim, however, was a whole different matter. And if by some miracle she did manage to get him to the park, given his explosive temper and tendency to fling about cruel insults willy-nilly, she should probably prewarn Jasper of his character. ‘But I shall apologise in advance if Jim doesn’t behave with the expected courtesies. He is...’
‘Lost and floundering and in dire need of rescuing too.’ He idly rubbed the back of her hand and sent a bolt of longing ricocheting through her system before he noticed what he was doing and snatched it away. ‘If only we knew two hopeless rescuers who could work together to save him from himself? Maybe a double-pronged attack is what is needed to crack your tough nut?’
‘Maybe it w—’
‘Hurry along, Hattie, the carriage is outside.’ Freddie’s command as he marched towards the wallflower chairs brooked no argument. Because the interfering idiot couldn’t help himself, her brother glared at his friend for good measure. ‘Good to see you, Jasper. Why don’t we catch up over billiards soon? At your scandalous club perhaps, seeing as you while away most of every night there?’ The clipped invitation was loaded with unsubtle meaning, and by Jasper’s amused expression he understood that ‘billiards’ was a flimsy code for another lecture. ‘Or at White’s tomorrow afternoon?’
‘Tomorrow is already filled to the gills with ghastly chores, old boy.’ Jasper’s eyes flicked briefly to hers, amusement making those distracting amber flecks dance just for her seeing as she was the ‘ghastly chore’ in question. ‘So is all of next week. Some of us have to work for a living.’
‘Yet you still found the hours to be here.’ Freddie was like a dog with a bone.
‘All work and no play makes Jasper a dull boy. Besides...’ he offered her brother a nonchalant shrug ‘...the club only ever gets busy after these affairs wind down so I am not really needed there, and being seen in public like this is good for business. And you did say that I could converse with Hattie in public, didn’t you? As long as we were in a crowd.’ If he noticed her sentry’s narrowed eyes, he hid it well and slapped him on the back, laughing as if he was purposely teasing his old friend to get a rise out of him. ‘But it has been ages since we last caught up so I’ll find an evening next week and you, me and George can make a night of it. Relive our wild youth and lament the fact we had to grow up.’
‘Splendid.’ Freddie grabbed Hattie’s arm and wound it through his as if he owned her. ‘Goodnight, Jasper.’
‘Goodnight, Freddie.’ Jasper smiled at his friend and then his eyes locked with hers again briefly, an intense glance she felt everywhere, before he bowed politely with mischief in his striking emerald eyes again. ‘Fare thee well, my Lady Harriet.’ A courtly goodbye as if he truly was one of the knights of old, and one, to Hattie’s inexperienced ear, which sounded a great deal like flirting. ‘I would kiss your hand in a friendly, platonic manner as is deemed entirely proper by the rest of society at these sorts of occasions, but fear dear, untrusting Freddie here might misread it and have a fit if I do.’ Then he winked at her, purely to vex Freddie of course, but like a dolt, Hattie almost sighed aloud at that small crumb.