Al shrugged off his tunic and stripped down to his underclothes. Five days of working hard on mending Brae’s castle walls and training the men who wanted to defend it should have worn him out completely. His body did ache with a bone-deep tiredness but his mind, that was full of images he was trying desperately to forget.
He climbed under the blankets and pulled them up to his chin. The room was cold but he did not want to waste time lighting the fire. He would warm up soon enough.
He closed his eyes and willed his body to sleep. He had no way of knowing if Johanne was in her own bed. She had left the Great Hall a while ago and not headed into the rooms she used to oversee the castle. She may well be with Cineas. Or she could be walking the battlements; in short, she could be anywhere, but these mundane, boring images were not the pictures his brain was conjuring up.
He imagined her in her bed. The same way he had every night since he found out she slept directly above him. Five nights of desperate longing, five nights of frustrated desire. He groaned as the images he tried so desperately to keep at bay assailed him once more. He pictured her, her coppery curls released from their braid and spread across her bedding, her blue eyes sparkling with laughter. In his fantasy, he was there with her. She was reaching up to him, slipping her hands around his shoulders and tugging him down. He would go willingly. He would not be able to fight his desire if he knew for certain that it was welcome. Her lips would taste delicious, her skin so soft to his touch.
He groaned as his body tightened. He was torturing himself.
It was wrong to desire someone from whom he was keeping such huge secrets. He knew that with every fibre of his being but that did not stop him thinking of her every moment of the day. He wanted her so badly, craved her as some men craved ale. Constantly pretending he was not affected by the way she moved or spoke or just existed was like a continual itch against his skin.
It didn’t help that occasionally he thought he could see an answering flash of desire in her eyes. It added to the layer of torture to imagine that if he forgot his oath to the King’s Knights, he could take her in his arms and she might not resist. That she might let him trace her long limbs with his fingers, learn what it felt like to touch the delicate skin at the base of her throat.
He groaned and rolled over, his erection digging into the mattress. He could take himself in hand but he knew from the last five nights that it made no difference. He still craved her even after his release.
What made it even worse was this was not all about desire for her body. That he knew he would get over given enough time. It was the desire for other things that worried him. He wanted to tease a smile out of her, to make her forget, even just for a minute, all the pressures that were piling down on her. He wanted to talk to her about the problems with Brae, to help her find solutions, so that Brae could go on to become a prosperous stronghold. He wanted to rub her shoulders until the tightness in her muscles relaxed and to join her when she talked to her son, to make them both laugh. In short, he was a fool.
Johanne was just another person he would eventually end up letting down. He knew nothing of land management or running a stronghold or raising a child. He knew nothing, really, other than how to fight. He could not be the man she needed in her life. He laughed, all trace of desire leaving him in a cold wave of realisation. She did not want a man in her life. She had said so many times. And those flashes of desire he’d thought he’d glimpsed in her eyes...they were always followed by a tightening of the barriers she wore around herself. She did not want him in any capacity.
He pushed himself to his feet. If he couldn’t sleep, then he would be better served having a poke around while the rest of the castle’s inhabitants slumbered. In the days he had spent at Brae, he was never alone for more than a few moments. By taking a stand against Morcant, Johanne was even more loved by her people than before, if that were possible, and not a single person would speak the slightest word against her. Not that he’d tried too hard. In his opinion, not only was Johanne not guilty of treason, neither was anyone in her castle.
He’d been so busy trying to make Brae defendable he’d almost forgotten the real reason he was here. Almost, but not quite. The impending threat of Benedictus’s arrival, or even a messenger from him, was never far from his mind. If they arrived before he found the real traitor, then the threat to Johanne was far greater than Morcant’s siege.
He pulled on his outer clothing and his thick cloak. His real clothes provided better protection against the biting wind than the garments he had borrowed. Winter had a severe grip on this part of the world and was not letting go easily. He was working so hard that he barely noticed during the day, but the nights were bitter.
The courtyard was empty; Brae’s solitary guard was no doubt napping at his post. The men Alewyn was training would have to start taking shifts at guarding soon. They needed the practice at staying awake for long periods of time. They weren’t ready yet; they were so inexperienced and were working so hard, they needed the nights to rest.
He had barely started with them, and the amount of guidance he could give them in the short time he was here would not cover everything they needed to know to defend Brae from a siege. His heart ached when he thought of Thomas, the youngest of the recruits, who was barely out of childhood. He was so eager to please and so innocent.
Alewyn couldn’t allow himself to think like this. Ultimately, his loyalty belonged to the King. To finish his mission was his priority. He would end up leaving the people of Brae to defend their home without him. He had to hope he would have done enough before he left. To imagine young Thomas lying defeated on the ground made him want to rage at the sky. Imagining Johanne in a similar state almost brought him to his knees.
He inhaled the frosty air. He must not think of this. If his mission failed, it wouldn’t just be one of England’s castles lying in ruin. It would be all of them. The country would be ruled by the French king, and Alewyn, and all his fellow knights, would be either dead or on the run. Failing in this mission was not an option.
He stepped deeper into the courtyard. A faint murmuring came from the Great Hall as the people who slept there settled down for the night. Lady Johanne hadn’t asked him to join them, giving him a marked privileged above the rest of her household. He supposed she could hardly have her betrothed sleeping amongst her workers, but it was another thing, in a growing list of things, which made him aware of how much respect she was giving him and just how much he was lying to her.
He shook his head. He must forget that now and stop pondering on everything that was wrong. He needed to focus.
The people in the hall blocked his route to Johanne’s antechamber. If there was evidence that either supported her innocence or condemned her, that was the most likely place for him to find it as that was where she conducted her business. Her ledger would be a good place to start. Perhaps he could access the rooms from a different angle. Brae was full of holes and only the largest of those had been patched up so far.
The main castle gate was closed and Alewyn didn’t want to disturb the guard. He supposed he could pass his outing off as a training exercise but that excuse was weak at best. Besides, Johanne would likely find out and then he would be subject to her relentless barrage of questions. Lying to her even more would twist him up in further knots.
A section of the wall had crumbled slightly, not too far away from the entrance but enough distance that the solitary guard shouldn’t notice his activities. It would not be easy for a man of his size to squeeze through, but he could probably do it without too much difficulty.
Habit had him sticking to the shadows as he moved around the courtyard, even though there was no one around to see what he was up to. The air was so quiet inside the castle walls. Alewyn could hear the faint roar of the sea as it swept across the pebbly beach below.
The gap in the wall was smaller than he remembered. His shoulders became wedged. Despite the seriousness of the situation, he couldn’t help the bubble of amusement that ripped through him as he lay, his legs half dangling inside the castle and his head sticking out the other side.
If he’d thought waking up the guard to let him out was bad, how on earth would he explain this? He heaved and pushed, and sweat began to pool at the base of his spine. Just when he thought it wasn’t going to be possible and that he would be discovered the following morning, probably as a pathetically frozen corpse, he popped out of the other side. He lay panting on the ground, staring up at the sky. That had very nearly been an inglorious end to his career.
He pushed himself to his knees. A few spots of icy rain hit his face. He glanced up; wisps of clouds scudded quickly across the sky. There was no moon to light up the surrounding area, although the stars provided some visibility. Alewyn stuck close to the castle battlements. An owl hooted above him; he flattened himself against the wall and then laughed at himself. If any of his enemies could see him now, they would be astonished to find him jumping at an animal’s night-time call. Nearly getting stuck in the battlements had spooked him more than it should have done.
He walked on. There were no obvious entry points to the castle near where he guessed Johanne’s antechamber to be. He sagged onto a fallen log and stared out at the inky blackness of the sea. The stars disappeared once more and he was plunged into an uneasy darkness. This place was nothing like Windsor, where there was always the noise of carts rattling over cobblestones or people talking as they went about their business. Here there was almost total silence. Only the rush of the sea as it hit the beach and wind rustling in the tops of the trees disturbed the night.
How long should he leave it until he returned to Windsor? He couldn’t recall Benedictus giving him a date by which to complete his mission, but he knew his brother expected quick results for any of the assignments he handed out. Yet, if he returned without any definitive proof either way, then Benedictus would be disappointed. He shuddered at the thought.
Was it enough to say that deep down in his heart he didn’t believe Lady Johanne capable of committing treason? That there was no way this sweet, courageous woman would do such a thing? Would Benedictus accept Alewyn’s word? Was the bond between brothers strong enough? Years ago, Alewyn would have said yes but now... Benedictus had changed. He was becoming harder and more closed off as time passed and his role became more demanding. Benedictus was becoming more like their father, a man you avoided unless you absolutely had to speak with him.
It would be hard to convince Benedictus without proof. He would believe Alewyn was being led by his cock and not his mind. If there was any way for Benedictus to meet Johanne that would be better, but they would only come across one another if Johanne was arrested for treason and by that point it would be too late. Benedictus would not see that Johanne was too naive to be a criminal mastermind, that she was too focused on keeping Brae safe for her son to spend time on anything else. His mind would already be made up about her.
In all their conversations, she seemed disinterested in France. There was no sense that she strongly opposed or supported the country.
And yet Alewyn knew there was a compelling reason why she may commit treason, why Benedictus would take some persuading and why he needed to stay at Brae until he had a counter-argument. Benedictus would see that she was a woman clinging to her property by the very tips of her fingers. At any moment, her authority could be challenged and she could lose everything. If she was desperate enough, Benedictus could argue that she had turned to England’s enemy for financial support. Alewyn didn’t believe that—Brae was not in a good enough state of repair for that to be the case—but was that enough? Could he risk her life based on his assumption alone? Would one Frenchman’s confession that he’d come into England via Brae be enough to condemn her?
Alewyn stood. He would not find answers sitting on this log. He began to walk away but stopped as something caught his eye. Had he imagined it, or had there been a light down in the cove below?
He waited, barely daring to breathe. Yes. There it was again. A brief flash and then gone. Could that be a signal? And yes again. Longer this time but still only brief.
He began to move quickly. The track crunched underneath and he cringed; he was not built for stealth. He moved off the path, picking his way over roots he could vaguely make out in the darkness.
The path down to the beach was worn by thousands of previous footsteps. He’d not attempted it in daylight and had no doubt it would be difficult to negotiate in the dark. Voices approaching hit him before he began the descent. He dived into a bush as they came closer.
‘...it was too windy. There was no way...’
‘How will we know when...?’
He lost the thread when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He whirled around, throwing himself onto the body behind him.
‘Ow,’ a voice hissed in his ear.
He froze.
‘Could you...?’
They both held still as footsteps sounded on the path nearby. When the sound faded away, the body beneath him wriggled.
‘I’m sorry.’ He rolled over.
‘That’s the second time you’ve squashed me.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said again because what else could he say? This was a disaster.
‘It’s not your fault. I took you by surprise.’
It really was his damned fault. He was an utter fool.
‘Have they gone?’
‘I... I’m not sure.’ This was awful. His whole mission was in tatters.
‘Who were they?’ demanded Johanne.
Denial was ridiculous and yet he couldn’t stop himself clinging to the only possible way out of this mess. ‘Who were who?
‘The men coming up from the beach. Don’t try and deny you were hiding from them. You wouldn’t be in this bush if they were your friends. You also wouldn’t be hiding in a bush if you weren’t interested in what was going on. Tell me.’ A slender finger prodded him in the arm.
‘I...’ Words failed him. This couldn’t be happening. Why was she here? And of all people for him to stumble across...
‘What were they doing on my beach?’
‘I...’ He sat upright. ‘Why don’t you tell me who they were and why you are hiding in this bush?’ His stomach dropped. If she’d planned to meet them, then that meant...
‘Oh, no. I am not telling you one more thing about anything. Not until you answer some of my questions.’
‘I’m always answering your questions,’ Alewyn growled, fury finally making an appearance. There he’d been, about to make a breakthrough in his mission, and instead he’d compromised it in the worst way imaginable. He wanted to ram his fist into something.
Johanne shifted beside him. ‘I think we should return to the castle and talk about this in front of a fire. My hands are so cold I can no longer feel the ends of my fingers.’
Alewyn thought about protesting. He should go after the men, but they’d probably be long gone. He’d have to have this discussion with Johanne at some point; he had to know why she was skulking about at night while strange men walked across Brae’s beach. Once that was done, he could work out how to find those men.
He crawled out of the bush, brambles scraping the backs of his hands. He pulled them to one side as he helped Johanne through.
They didn’t speak as they made their way back to the castle. Alewyn tried to think of a reason to explain to Johanne why he had been creeping through the dark but his mind stayed persistently blank.
Johanne let Al lead the way. She could argue that she wanted to know which way he’d exited the castle, because if a man the size of him could fit through, then Morcant was going to have no trouble. It would not be the truth. She enjoyed watching him walk; the way his muscular body powered through a space was fast becoming her favourite thing to observe. She’d become an expert in the way he moved; she had a hard time doing anything else other than look at him when he was around.
This evening, the strength of his stride was dimmed. The energy was still there but his head was bent as if it were too heavy and there was something in the slump of his shoulders that suggested he was deeply unhappy. It made her heart ache and yet she knew she must harden it against him. Whatever his reason for being at Brae, it was not as clear-cut as he had led her to believe. He had definitely been watching those men, men who were clearly up to no good within Brae’s territory.
She tilted her head up to the sky, whispering prayers on the wind, prayers that Al would prove to be good and true even as she knew it was too late to change who he was. She did not want him to be involved in something unlawful or to have done something faithless. She wanted him to be as decent as he appeared. His actions since he had arrived at Brae had begun to restore her belief that some men were decent; she did not want him to rip that faith to shreds right now.
He moved along the outer wall of the castle until he reached the gap in the stonework, a gap of which she was already aware but which she hadn’t thought that big. ‘You can’t possibly fit through there.’
She was rewarded with his half-smile, the one that always did strange things to her stomach. Tonight was no exception, despite all her worries about who he truly was.
‘It was a bit tight coming through. Why don’t you go first? That way, if I get stuck, then at least one of us will get to their bed tonight.’
She laughed but did as he suggested. The wind was bitter tonight and she wanted to get inside as soon as possible.
‘I’m through,’ she called when she’d reached the other side. Her heart stopped for a moment when it looked as if he wasn’t following her, when she thought he may have run off to avoid speaking to her, but it soon became clear he was slow because of the size of the gap. In the darkness, it was hard to make him out and she only knew he had started to follow her by his grunting. Gradually the thick strands of his dark hair became visible. She bit her lip as laughter gurgled up inside her. His head came through and then his shoulders. There was no movement for a moment. She stepped forward to help him, although she had no idea how she would do that—pull sections of the wall down, she supposed. Before she could reach him, he fell through the last bit, landing by her feet like a beached dogfish. She couldn’t stop the laugh that burst out of her.
He grinned sheepishly up at her and her heart began to race. When you looked past his intimidating size, he was adorable. The combination of strength and vulnerability was completely disarming. Women must fall at his feet. Jealousy, sharp and unexpected, curled in her stomach at the thought and she turned away lest her thoughts show on her face. She must not think like that. He was not hers to get possessive about. She didn’t want to be possessive about him; he would go, possibly sooner rather than later. And that was what she wanted. She wanted to be alone, to shape her own destiny without the interference of another man in her life.
Besides, he was hiding something from her, and until she knew what it was, she could not afford to even think of him as a friend, despite everything he had done for her.
She heard him pull himself upright and when she turned back to him she made sure all humour had gone from her face. He looked at her and his smile slowly died. ‘We need to talk.’
He nodded slowly. ‘Aye.’
She began to walk, hoping he’d follow but knowing there was nothing she could do about it if he decided he didn’t want to. She heard his footsteps and released the breath she was holding.
‘Where are we going?’ he asked.
‘To my bedchamber.’
‘Where you sleep?’
‘Yes.’
He ground to a stop. ‘Do you think that is wise?’
No. It probably wasn’t. He was a man she had spent so much time thinking about, wondering whether the fleeting kiss they had shared would be so much better if it were deepened. A room where there was only the two of them and her bed was not wise, but there wasn’t any other option. To get to her antechamber, the place where she conducted her business, would mean walking through the Great Hall and disturbing all those who slept there. ‘It is the safest place we can talk undisturbed.’
‘But we will be there alone, together.’
‘I trust you.’ At least, she did trust him with her body. There had been that time when he could have kissed her and he hadn’t and the time at the inn when she was sure the desire she had for him was written all over her face. He could have had her then, if he’d wanted, but he hadn’t. She was sure he was honourable about that, if nothing else, but then perhaps she was deluding herself. ‘Am I wrong to do so?’
He let out a long sigh. ‘I’ll not take advantage of your body. You can put your faith in me with that.’
And in his answer, he gave away much. He had been hiding something from her, something that meant she shouldn’t trust him completely. She’d suspected as much and yet the truth hurt her chest, as if someone had stabbed a knife right through her heart. She had believed in him more than she had anyone else in years, if not ever. She had relied on him to give her his help; she was still relying on him. Everyone in Brae had complete faith that he was exactly who he said he was and that he would guide them through the nightmare of Morcant’s siege. And now... ‘You’d better not be in league with Morcant or it will not matter how much smaller than you I am, I will still kill you.’
He smiled briefly. ‘I am not in league with Morcant. That doesn’t mean you might not want to kill me.’ He shrugged. ‘We had better get this over with.’
He walked past her, towards their sleeping quarters. He paused outside the door to his chamber but she swept past him and climbed the stairs to her own. They would do this on her terms.
Her knees began to shake as she heard his heavy tread on the steps behind her, but whether that was due to worry about what she was about to find out or for some other reason, she wasn’t sure. She had not had a man in her chamber since Badon’s death. Had not wanted anyone coming into the space that was her own private domain. Even her servant, Mary, was only allowed in for short periods to clean the room. It was her sanctuary.
She stepped into the room and paused. She still had time to turn around, to take this conversation elsewhere, but he came in behind her and the moment passed.
To stall for time, she made her way over to the fireplace. The flames were burning low in the grate. She threw another log on and poked about in the embers. She did not know how to begin. She almost didn’t want to know. She took a deep breath and turned. Al had settled in the chair by her dressing table, his bulk making it look impossibly spindly. She was glad he hadn’t chosen her bed to sit on. She didn’t think she would be able to get that image from her mind once he had gone.
She settled on the edge of her mattress and found that she didn’t know what to do with her hands. Resting on the bed seemed suggestive somehow. She settled on clasping them together and placing them on her lap, rather like a virgin on her wedding night.
‘I want you to tell me everything.’ Her request would have been more powerful if her voice wasn’t shaking.
His smile was sad. ‘Lady Johanne, you are putting me in a very difficult position.’
‘I thought we agreed on Johanne.’ Her voice was small and she hated it.
‘Why were you out there this evening?’
‘I thought I was asking the questions.’
‘Not this time.’ There was no threat in his voice but his gaze was firm and steady. She would answer his question if it meant getting to his answers quicker.
‘I’ve been finding it difficult to sleep these last few nights. I find watching the tide soothing. I was on my way down to the beach when I heard those men heading down to it. I thought they might be something to do with Morcant and so I stayed to watch. Not that much later, you landed on me.’
He rubbed his face before resting his arm on the table. ‘Lady Johanne, what do you think about the war between France and England?’
‘Why do you want to know about that?’
‘It’s important.’
She shrugged. ‘I think the war is pointless. I think men will die for a piece of land that most English men or women will never see and will not profit from. The French are entitled to that land, in my opinion. I know that is not a popular point of view.’
His gaze dropped to the floor near her feet. He inhaled deeply and looked back up, his gaze locking on hers. She wiped her hands on her skirt; there was no need for her to be nervous and yet the look in his eyes was causing her heart to race unpleasantly. This was not the Al she recognised.
‘Are you bringing Frenchmen into the country so that they can attack the King from within?’
All the air rushed out of her lungs. She stood and stepped towards him, but the room spun and she stumbled. Before she hit the ground, he caught her around the waist. ‘Easy, Johanne. Take a deep breath.’
He tugged her back to the bed and sat next to her, rubbing her back in gentle circles, but the gesture was not reassuring. She stood and his hand dropped onto the mattress.
‘Is that what you think of me? That I would do that? Is that why you are here? Oh, my goodness, Gemel was right. You have been lying to me the whole time. Am I going to be...?’ She clutched her throat, unable to swallow at the thought of a noose tightening around it. ‘Cineas...’ she whispered. ‘What will become of him?’
‘Johanne.’ She stopped and looked down at Al, who was regarding her calmly. ‘Answer the question.’
She straightened. ‘I would never do such a thing. I cannot believe that for one small moment, you would think me capable of such treachery.’
He nodded. ‘I see.’
‘That is why you are here. To find out if I am guilty of treason.’ It seemed obvious now. How could she have been so foolish? A man like him had just happened to stumble across Brae and she had taken it as good fortune. How gullible she had been.
‘Yes. That is why I am here.’
‘You are an agent of the King?’
‘Yes. I am one of the King’s Knights.’
Her knees weakened and she sank onto the mattress next to him. ‘The King’s Knights,’ she repeated. Her head swirled. It was too much to take in. The King’s Knights were legendary. There were only four of them, as far as she was aware, but they ruled the country with iron precision. Nobody, nobody, defied them unless they were truly brainless and wanted to end up dead or rotting in some dungeon. And she had one of them in her castle, in her bedchamber, no less. She had willingly allowed him into her life and had shared things she had told no one. Badon had been correct when he had told her she was not fit to rule Brae. She was an utter fool.
‘Which of the King’s Knights are you?’ Her voice came out as a whisper.
‘I wasn’t lying when I said I was Sir Alewyn. My family name is Monceaux.’
She closed her eyes. It got worse. The Monceaux family were one of the most powerful dynasties in the whole country. If they thought she was guilty of treason... Cineas would be guilty by association. The Monceaux family could absorb Brae into their territories and no one would take up arms to prevent it.
‘Are you here to arrest me?’ she whispered. ‘I swear to you I have done nothing wrong. But I cannot prove it.’
His hand twitched, as if he were about to hold hers, but it remained next to him. Even though he was her accuser, she missed his reassuring touch. She realised she had become used to his light touches and she cursed herself anew for being such a fool.
‘For now,’ he said. ‘Please answer the question plainly—are you bringing Frenchmen into the country so that they can attack the King from within?’
‘No.’ She waited a beat. ‘But wouldn’t I say that anyway? I mean—’
‘Johanne. Stop talking.’
‘I would never—’
‘Johanne.’
‘I...’ This couldn’t be happening. She stood and walked towards the centre of the chamber. She’d thought life would be far simpler after Badon’s death, but it had only become harder. At least when he was around, he made her decisions for her. And yes, she had hated that, hated having so little control over her life, but now that she had the authority, she had made a mess of it. A decision she had made or something she had overlooked in the past had somehow led her to this. A situation where she could be hanged for treason. A crime she would never dream of committing.
She would not give up though, not without a fight. She glanced back at Al. Fine, so she couldn’t fight Al physically, but she would find a way to defeat him in this. She would prove her innocence; she just had to get him to allow her the time to do it.
‘Johanne.’ She was scaring him a little. First there had been the rambling and now there was the fierce scowling with some agitated pacing. He’d seen her shocked and confused before and he didn’t want to deal with that again. She was a warrior, this woman, and he preferred her that way. Seeing her defeated hurt his heart in a way he did not want to analyse.
‘Johanne.’
This final call of her name had the desired effect. She advanced towards him, her eyes blazing with fury. Alewyn forced himself to remain straight-faced. She would not appreciate him laughing but there was something about her expression which made his heart sing. Her eyes were captivating as they flashed with fury. He loved that she had complete belief in her ability to destroy him, despite the difference in their respective sizes. His pulse thudded erratically; she was magnificent.
‘You have lied to me. Was everything...?’ She waved her hand around as if to encompass all that had passed between them. Even the things that they had agreed should never happen again.
‘Not everything.’
Her eyes flashed again. ‘Which parts then?’
‘Everything to do with Morcant, helping you plan against the siege. That has all been real.’
She sucked in a breath. ‘Why were you lying on that path the day Gemel and I found you?’
‘That I still don’t know. I get flashes sometimes, during the night. Like I told you on that first day. Now there is more detail. There’s a storm and I’m being thrown from my horse; she’s screaming.’ He shuddered. He had to hope that Ffleur was alive. She had been with him a long time. ‘I think there are men there. My fist connects with someone and there is shouting and the sound of footsteps running but I don’t understand how I came to be unconscious. It’s all still a blur... I can’t believe that I lost a fight. I haven’t lost one in years, certainly not since I gained this height.’ He tried smiling but she did not look impressed. He tried a different direction. ‘The more I’ve come to know you, the more convinced I am that you are not involved in the plot.’ Her shoulders relaxed a bit, but she continued to glare at him.
‘Why did you think that I was involved in treason in the first place? Brae is in the middle of nowhere and is of no importance.’
‘I...’ He leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. ‘I don’t think you are but...’ He rubbed a hand over his face. ‘The fact is, Johanne, there have been several Frenchmen caught near Windsor. They have been interrogated and revealed that they are coming into England via the south coast. One of them named Brae as their point of entry. That was enough to warrant an investigation into you.’
Her mouth opened and closed. She turned and walked around the room, her fingers running over a tapestry that covered the whole of the far wall.
He waited a moment for her to speak but when she didn’t, he carried on. ‘I was sent here by Sir Benedictus. He is the leader of the King’s Knights and my older brother. He wanted me to discover the truth before sending in the King’s army. We didn’t want to get the wrong person and reveal to the guilty party that we were on to them.’ Even though he shouldn’t be telling her any of this, he began to feel lighter than he had in weeks. It was good to have the truth between them. It felt right.
‘Why do you think I’m not guilty?’
He stood too. ‘I don’t think you would put Brae at risk by committing treason.’
She nodded and the fight visibly drained out of her. Alewyn forced himself to stand still, refusing to let himself go to her, to touch her, to pull her into his arms to offer her comfort. Yesterday, his support may have been welcome but now...he was probably the last person she wanted anywhere near her.
She wrapped her arms around herself, looking younger and more vulnerable than he’d ever seen her. ‘If it’s not me, then who is it?’
‘I don’t know but I’m trying to find out.’ Never had he felt more useless. ‘I believe this is the way to prove your innocence. Sir Benedictus is unlikely to accept just my word.’ And this was his guiding principle for this whole mission. Not just to discover the truth but to prove his own worth, that he was as capable as his brother knights. ‘If I tell him that my only evidence is that I don’t believe you guilty, he will think I have been beguiled by your beauty and will send someone else to—’
‘Oh...’
He only realised what he had said, what he had revealed, when he noticed the pink spreading across her cheeks. His own skin heated in response. ‘I mean, you’re obviously a very beautiful woman but that’s not why I think you are innocent.’ His skin was beginning to burn now. ‘I mean, I’m not the greatest spy. My strengths lie in my physical abilities. I can hit people very hard. It’s not the most useful of skills; other people are better placed to solve mysteries. But they were elsewhere and so there was only me.’ He was pacing now, desperate to stop talking but seeming unable to do so.
‘I want to help.’
Her words stopped him in his tracks. ‘What?’
‘I want to help clear my name.’
She’d come back to the centre of the room and was standing directly in front of him. If he reached out an arm, he could pull her to him. The temptation was almost overwhelming. He hadn’t held her since the night they’d rushed back from Morcant’s stronghold. The night he’d nearly given in to his desire to kiss her. It was only the knowledge that he was lying to her that had held him back that night. He did not want to be the sort of man who lied but took what he wanted anyway. Now the truth lay between them and yet it did not make it better. He could no more hold her now than he had been able to before.
‘I understand why you want to help but you must concentrate on building Brae’s defences. I will not let Benedictus arrest you.’ How he would do that, he wasn’t sure yet, but he would make it so that it was true even if he had to fight his brother. He paused. Had it really come to that? He glanced at Johanne; her coppery curls glinted in the candlelight. Yes, it had. If Benedictus failed to listen to reason, then Alewyn would fight him for Johanne’s freedom. He would fight the King’s army if that was what it would take to keep Johanne from rotting in one of Edward’s dungeons. He rubbed his chest. It was tight. What was happening to him? To fight his brother would be to risk everything he had worked for...but how could he not?
She nodded, unaware of the seismic shift going on inside him. ‘I will continue to prepare Brae for the siege but helping you must also be a priority. If I defend Brae only to be subsequently executed for treason, Brae will most likely fall into Morcant’s hands and all my effort will have been in vain.’
As she was speaking, she had stepped even closer towards him. He wondered if she realised how close they were now. Whether she wanted the comfort he was so keen to give her. He reached out and lightly touched the back of her hand. She turned her palm to face his and their fingers laced. For a moment, he thought she might step towards him so that he could take her in his arms, but he sensed her barriers being put back into place and she stepped away, dropping his hand and returning to her place on the edge of her mattress. She crossed her arms under her chest, giving every signal he was not to join her on the bed.
He settled back into the chair and watched her face. He wondered if she was aware of how her expression changed as she thought. She would not make a good courtier. She would not be able to scheme and lie in a place that was rife with back-stabbing plots. Right now, she was coming to some sort of conclusion, a positive one if he had to guess.
‘It has to be Morcant.’ She was looking brighter now, sitting upright, her eyes shining. ‘That’s why he’s so keen to get hold of Brae. He would have ease of access to the coast and...’ She trailed off.
‘He has access to his own part of the coast though, doesn’t he?’ Alewyn had considered Morcant before and dismissed him for various reasons, although he would have loved to be proved wrong. His guilt would solve two problems. ‘In that direction, he is closer to France than you are here.’
‘Yes, but...’ He hated to see the light in her eyes dimming. ‘It still makes sense for it to be him. Why else would he want to marry me so badly?’
‘Because he’s greedy and by making Brae part of his territory he would command a large swathe of the south coast. Also, it might be...’ He trailed off, his skin burning once more. She had made it very clear she wasn’t interested in him so there was no need for him to embarrass himself by mentioning that Morcant might want to marry her so he could bed her whenever he wanted.
His own body stirred as he imagined a lifetime with her in his bed. He gritted his teeth; now was definitely not the time.
‘It might be...?’ She prompted.
‘Forget it.’ He spoke more harshly than he meant to and winced as she recoiled.
A log fell in the grate, sparks hissing into the room. They both turned and watched the flames for a moment.
‘It’s possible it’s Yonescu.’
She turned to him sharply. ‘What? No. It can’t be him.’
He shifted in the chair. ‘Why not?’
‘Because he’s my ally. He’s always supported me, right from the beginning.’
Alewyn had picked Yonescu’s name out of the air, more to break the ice between them than because he had given it any serious thought. The more he thought about it now though, the more it seemed like it could be a possibility. ‘Don’t dismiss my reasoning until you have heard me out.’
She snorted and crossed her legs. ‘Go on.’
He rubbed his forehead. He would like to go, to give her time to relax, because he could say anything to her now and she wasn’t in the mood to hear it. ‘Yonescu’s stronghold is not on the sea.’ She nodded. He took that as a positive sign. ‘And there was that attack on you.’
‘That was Morcant.’
‘One person mentioned Morcant. That was odd, don’t you think?’ She didn’t nod her head but she appeared to be listening. ‘Remember when we entered Morcant’s castle, we did everything in our power to remain undetected. Surely, your attackers would have done the same. If they were truly working for Morcant, they would have kept his name hidden. That someone mentioned it stands out to me.’
She unfolded her arms. ‘Go on.’
‘How would Morcant have even known you were going to be in that part of the country?’
She opened her mouth to answer and then closed it again.
‘He wouldn’t but Yonescu would. It was Yonescu who told you about the stonemason. It was Yonescu who set up the meeting and it was Yonescu who gave you the meeting place.’ Alewyn was really starting to believe his own theory now. His only question was why he hadn’t thought about it in the first place.
‘That is all true, but if Yonescu has a spy in Morcant’s household, the same is probably true of the reverse.’
Alewyn pondered this. ‘Yes, but if he does have a spy at Yonescu’s stronghold, then it was even more important for Morcant’s name not to be mentioned during the attack on you. Think about it, Yonescu was the person who came to you with the news that Morcant was going to lay siege to Brae.’
‘Which is true, and which is helpful to me because now I have time to plan my counter-attack.’
‘True. But if a siege is going on here for months, both you and Morcant are only paying attention to one another, meaning neither of you are watching your coastline. If we were able to investigate, we might find that Yonescu has been in talks with Morcant as well as you. I am willing to bet everything I own that Morcant thinks Yonescu is his ally.’
Johanne stood and made her way over to the fireplace. She selected a log from a basket by the fire and threw it into the grate. ‘What could he have said to Morcant?’
‘I don’t know for sure, but I would guess he has suggested to Morcant that he move soon on Brae. My arrival on the scene may have prompted him. You are too busy with your current duties to notice goings-on down on the shoreline but with a husband your duties would be halved. You or I might have time to meander down to the beach where we might find something.’
She poked at the flames. ‘Unless we are involved in a protracted siege.’
‘Exactly.’
‘If Yonescu hadn’t warned me, then I would not have begun preparing. Brae would be completely unprotected and I would have fallen to Morcant within the first week, but now...’
‘Now you have had time to prepare, the siege will go on for some time.’
She sank onto the rushes in front of the fire. ‘This is a lot to take in.’
‘Yes.’
‘And, for now, it is only a theory.’
‘It is. But it is plausible.’
She pulled her knees up to her chest. ‘It is. Do you know, I didn’t really like Yonescu when I was married to Badon? I thought he was insincere. It was only after Badon’s death that I changed my mind. I thought my initial feelings were because my fear of Badon coloured everything around me. I should have trusted my instincts.’
‘We must keep in mind that Yonescu might not be guilty. We must find proof first. If it turns out that he is behind the treasonous plot, you must not be too hard on yourself. Yonescu took advantage of you when you were vulnerable.’
Her head shot up at that and their eyes met. The message in her gaze was clear—how was that any different from what he had done?
He dropped his gaze and studied his hands. ‘I’ve been on your side since I arrived, even if it doesn’t seem like it.’
She didn’t comment and his heart ached. He’d done everything right—not betrayed his oath and done everything in his power to make sure Brae was protected from Morcant—and yet he had still managed to hurt her.
Her opinion of him shouldn’t matter. He would be gone from her life in a matter of weeks and it was unlikely he would ever see her again. He would probably be in France fighting for the King before the end of next year and she would stay in Brae, keeping suitors at bay and making sure the settlement prospered. And yet, it did matter. He wanted her to think well of him and there was nothing he could say to himself that would stop that desire.
Johanne watched a myriad of emotions cross Al’s face, none of them she could read or understand. Al. That wasn’t quite his name, only the part of it he had shared with her. Yet, even knowing that, she couldn’t think of him as Sir Alewyn.
The firelight flickered, casting shadows over his face, a face that was so familiar to her now. He had been her friend and ally. She had come to think of him as the only person she had ever truly known and now it had all been revealed as a lie. He was Sir Alewyn, a man so much higher up in society’s order than her that he might as well live on the moon. He was a confidant of the King and a Monceaux; he was one of the men leading the country whereas she was just trying to survive to the next day. Any growing connection between them had been in her imagination. The pain she was feeling in her chest was pointless. Two months ago, she hadn’t even met him and within the month he would probably be gone for ever. His lies shouldn’t matter.
She needed to focus on her original plan, the one she had hatched when she had found him on the path. She would use him to help her fix Brae’s problems and then let him go. She could not keep him even if she wanted to. He belonged to the King, not her. ‘How do we find out if Yonescu is guilty and prove that I am not?’
He looked up at her once more. ‘That is where I am stuck.’
He sounded so bleak that her heart ached. She willed her features to remain blank. She did not want him to know that she felt anything for him, not even sympathy. Her pride would feel better that way. ‘The men were talking about full moons and wind when I overheard them.’
‘How long is it until the next full moon?’
‘Tonight was a new moon. So, there won’t be a full moon for around two weeks.’
He nodded. ‘It makes sense that they would want to conduct their activities under the darkness of a new moon. They’ll not want to smuggle anyone in with a full moon lighting up the night’s sky. Tonight was windy. Perhaps it was too difficult to land a boat. Maybe they will try again tomorrow.’ He nodded again. ‘I will lie in wait and watch.’
‘We will lie in wait and watch.’
He regarded her steadily for a moment. She held his gaze. She would not back down on this.
He broke first. ‘It is too dangerous.’
‘More dangerous than infiltrating an enemy’s castle?’
‘No, but—’
‘More dangerous than a siege?’
‘No, but—’
‘More dangerous than living with an unpredictable, violent man?’
Al stilled. ‘Badon was violent towards you?’
‘Not often, but I could not always predict his mood. There is no need to look quite so murderous. It’s not uncommon for a husband to hit his wife.’
His fists clenched. ‘It should never happen.’
‘No, well, I am glad to see that we agree on that. It is irrelevant for my future. I do not intend to marry again. My point is, I have faced danger before and lived. Brae is my castle and I should be the one to oversee its defence.’
‘It would not harm you to rely on others sometimes.’
‘When I find someone I trust implicitly, then I will do so.’
He reared back as if she had punched him and her heart twisted. ‘I suppose I deserve that,’ he said quietly. ‘Very well. Tomorrow we shall plan our next move. Now, we both need to get some rest.’
He stood and made his way towards her chamber door. Part of her wanted to stop him, to tell him that she had always trusted him, but she held her tongue. She had naively believed everything he had told her, and even though he was proving to be a good man, it did not negate the fact that he had lied to her. She had been hardening her soul ever since her marriage to Badon, and she would continue to do so until she was no longer a naive and gullible fool. Only then would she be a worthy leader of Brae.
The door closed softly behind him without another word spoken between them.