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He hadn’t planned on coming to the Lotus academy event. He’d been avoiding them for weeks, these events he’d frequented for years, ever since he started his studies at Howl Academy.
But as he’d stewed in the alpha salon, knowing that his friends would go anyway and feeling like an idiot for avoiding Zach like that, he’d drunk half a bottle of Whiskey.
And then, thinking about Zach, he found himself getting into his black Maserati and driving over.
Just the thought of Zach had him moving.
Fucking stupid. Thinking with his dick, most definitely. Not everything was about sex, damn it. No matter how sexy and cute Zach was, and how hard he got Valerian every time he was around, with his silky sweet scent and those green-leaf eyes and soft mouth and...
Everything, damn it. Everything about him got Valerian hard, and he should finally stop fucking thinking about him.
And yet there he was, mingling with the crowd in the teahouse as the show began, straining to catch a glimpse of the dancers. He hadn’t been sure he’d catch any of it, as he was quite late, but there were two slender, graceful Lotus Boys moving in the center of the place, colorful swirls of silk and long braids, pretty faces set in focused lines.
He elbowed his way closer, inevitably drawn to Zach, despite all the warnings flashing through his head.
“Hey, man, what the hell?” Someone pushed him back, but he only kept going. He was a big alpha himself, towering over most, his shoulders bigger.
Fuck the guy who complained.
Val only had eyes for Zach.
Fuck, he looked amazing. His little omega had a boldness to his posture and movements that excited Valerian. So much confidence in his every gesture, every lift of his chin, every jingle of the bells on his ankles and wrists.
He was fucking perfect. Spectacular.
Hot.
He made Val wanna sink so deep inside him he’d make him scream with pleasure, pump himself dry in that tight hole, fill him with babies.
Valerian’s babies.
Fuck, what was wrong with him? What was this pull Zach had on him? It was why he’d done his best to stay away. Zach didn’t know Valerian, didn’t know why Valerian had to stay away. It didn’t matter.
Valerian did, and that was enough.
But he was there anyway, wasn’t he? Watching the sweet omega like a starving man watches a succulent steak, or a cream desert, like a thirsty man faced with a tall drink of cold water, in a desert, on the moon.
Like a drowning man reaching for the bright surface.
There were more omegas together with Zach—another dancer, some musicians—but they were as good as shadows swirling around the burning flame that was Zach. Valerian was amazed and hard—obviously—and probably drooling.
Damn.
He rubbed a hand over his pecs. For some reason, seeing Zach dance—seeing Zach again, period—did more than get him horny. It struck some chord deep inside him, and he knew that it was why he’d cut loose and run in the first place.
Why he should have stayed away. There was something about the omega, something bittersweet that seemed to echo inside him. The look in those soulful green eyes, every time they met his, had appeared full of understanding.
Understanding of what? Zach certainly didn’t know anything about Valerian, about his past. But Valerian had a feeling Zach would accept him, no matter what.
A dangerous illusion.
Then Zach turned toward him, sliding in a circle—and stumbled, eyes going wide, meeting his.
Valerian’s body jerked forward, his only thought to catch the pretty omega before he hurt himself, jump in the middle of the dancers and wrap his arms around him—
But Zach straightened himself and turned the stumble into a fluid dance move, his long sleeves trailing through the air like the tails of comets.
Whoa.
Ingenious. So graceful.
Transfixed, Val watched, his fists clenching and unclenching helplessly at his sides, as his omega danced on, never looking his way again to the end of the show.
Zach and the other omega bowed, their long braids slipping over their shoulders to slap the floor, the ribbons threaded in their hair fluttering.
What had he been thinking? The dance, the show was meant to attract and arouse him, and it had served its purpose well. But it hadn’t been targeted at him. Well, not only. It was an open invitation to all the alphas in the room to come and try and get Zach for themselves, and his surroundings dipped into shades of red at the thought.
The thought of anyone touching his omega got him mad as all hell.
And that was his cue to leave. Coming here was a fucking mistake, unless he wanted to Claim Zach for himself, and that was one thing he couldn’t do.
***
Leaving the event as if devils were snapping at his heels, he drove to a bar and got so drunk he forgot his own name. Later, he didn’t even remember how he returned to his room before dawn. And the next day he nursed his pounding hungover, surly and mad at the world.
The same thing he did last time he saw Zach and remembered he couldn’t be with him.
Fuck, it was becoming a pattern. One he had to break. One could certainly find better reasons to get drunk about. Happier ones.
If one looked hard enough.
Probably.
He really should try that. Mostly he tended to drown his memories in booze, not celebrate the good days. It was sad, actually. He’d had some pretty good days since he’d joined Howl Academy. He had friends. Real ones. He’d had bunches of fun in the past couple of years—parties and drinking binges when toasting pretty omegas and dancing.
And he’d met Zach.
God damn it! Why couldn’t he get past that? Past him?
It didn’t help that his buddy Alex was now occupied full-time with his mate and their babies, and Luke was sort of AWOL. Mentally, that was. Physically, he was there, attending Lotus Academy events, as the previous evening had proven, going to classes and eating at the alphas’ salon, but... he wasn’t all there, was he? It was as if something was on his mind. Maybe his past haunted him, like it did Val.
Who knew?
They were a bunch of complicated guys. Alexander’s past seemed dark as hell, though he’d barely talked about it. He’d caught glimpses of it that day they’d gone to his townhouse to meet the uncle who’d raised him and also apparently abused him. And he didn’t know about Luke, not really, but as for Valerian himself...
Yeah. Not pretty. Let’s just not get into that, or all the booze in the world wouldn’t be enough to keep the memories at bay.
Damn Zach for reminding him why he couldn’t have anyone. Every time he saw the pretty omega, he wanted things he couldn’t have, craved a future that wasn’t for him.
“Val! There you are.” Alex gestured for him to join them in the salon as he shuffled past, looking for coffee. He had his usual attachments with him—Kai and the twins in their baby carriage. “Come eat with us.”
To be fair, Kai was really sweet and cute, and the babies were adorable little bastards, but Val was in no mood for a family lunch today. “Hey. Just gonna grab a coffee and go to class.”
“You have a class now? It’s lunch break.”
Fuck. “Look, man, I had a rough night. Lay off me, okay?”
“What, you were out partying?”
“Drinking myself senseless. Does it count as partying?”
“Damn, Val.”
“Jesus, go back to your family, Alex, and leave me the hell alone to nurse my hangover, okay?”
“Sure thing. But we need to talk.”
“About my hangover?”
“About the trafficking ring, remember?”
Oh fuck, yeah, that.
Alex was obsessed lately with human-shifter trafficking, because of what had happened to his omega, Kai. Lotus academy, as it turned out, sold omegas who had given away their V-card for free as slaves, and Alex’s charming uncle was involved in the trafficking ring. Val should have been obsessed with that in his place, too. It was a topic worthy of thought and action, if only Val could get his head into the game and stop thinking about...
Fuck.
About Zach, again. The way he’d danced, the flash of those green eyes, the glint of a quick smile, fine golden braids flying as he’d turned, that delicate body moving fluidly, shifting positions, fine hands reaching out...
Green wide eyes, that delicate body pressed to his, legs opening to accommodate him, a slender cock hard and weeping, a rosy opening, glistening and waiting to welcome him...
“I don’t think Val’s mind is on the trafficking ring right now,” Kai said, lifting one of the babies in his arms and kissing a chubby cheek. “Did you see Zach last night, Val?”
“You were at the show last night?” Alex blinked at him. “You didn’t tell me you were going.”
Ah, fuck this.
“He came and went quickly,” Kai said, the traitor, though it was hard to hate him when he held two gurgling babies in his arms. Damn, those kids were cute. “Only came to catch a glimpse of Zach?”
Clever, too.
And Val was in no mood for psychoanalysis, or whatever it was Kai was trying to do. “Look, I really gotta go.”
“Right, right, that imaginary class won’t wait for you, will it?” Alex glared.
Why the hell was he glaring?
“We’ll talk about the trafficking thing,” Valerian muttered, “on another day when my head doesn’t feel like it’s about to burst, all right?”
And since when did he explain himself?
Since you got yourself some friends, a voice piped up at the back of his mind.
He gave the voice the finger and walked away. A beta blocked his way out, talking on his cell and gesticulating wildly.
“Oh man, are you fucking kidding me?” He shoved the beta out of his way. “Fucker.”
The wounded look on the beta’s face was a kick to the gonads. It reminded him... of Zach.
Why the fuck did everything remind him of Zach? This was insane. Val wasn’t a nice person. He wasn’t a good person. Never pretended to be anything like that. He’d spent his years at Howl academy not really terrorizing other students, but certainly giving them a hard time if he felt like it. Tripping them up, laughing at their mistakes, enjoying their discomfort and shame.
He was an asshole.
So why did he feel like he should change now? Become a better person? Seriously? Because of the soulful look in a pair of pretty green eyes?
Seriously.
This sucked.
***
And yet he didn’t shove at another person in the following days, scowling at them instead, hoping that made up for it. He couldn’t seem weak, like he’d lost his edge. Bad things happened to guys who seemed to have lost their strength.
Damn, what was happening to him? He even found himself letting others enter into classrooms before him, even held the damn door open for the economics teacher.
The world was ending.
If just the thought of Zach made him this way, staying away from him was the best idea he’d ever had.
Finding a cute omega to let off some steam would be best. It had been his strategy over the years. A quick, hot fuck and then goodbye, no strings attached, no complications.
So he took his time looking. The students at Howl Academy were mostly rich alphas and betas who wanted the prestige of the degree before returning home to take over family companies and estates. The only omegas who enrolled had fellowships, like Kai, Tiberius’s mate, and still needed extra credits to pay for accommodation and meals.
The best spot to get an omega was the alphas’ salon, where omegas went looking for jobs to do, especially becoming a Boi for an alpha—like a slave, carrying their stuff around, or running errands for them.
Valerian wasn’t looking for a Boi. Just for a willing omega for the night. He never had trouble finding a willing omega. He was, after all, an impressive alpha male specimen, if he said so himself. Cute omegas were his bread and butter.
So he planted himself in the salon that evening, avoiding the table he usually shared with his friends, and looked, really fucking looked for an interesting face, an attractive body to get his blood flowing.
And... nada.
What the hell, had all the pretty omegas been abducted?
No, wait a sec. There. That was an omega he’d been with, a few months ago. Val frowned. What was his name? He couldn’t even recall, and now the boy looked... washed out. Boring. Even annoying. Not pretty at all.
And that one with the dark curls that he’d had a fun night with not so long ago looked... unappetizing.
What the fuck? How could meeting Zach have changed how other omegas looked? This was fucking insane. Was his fascination with the blond omega a lens that distorted the world?
Disgusted, cursing under his breath, he got up and left, walking the grounds of the academy to calm his anger and confusion.
Zach.
Maybe it was a physical thing, a chemical thing that had gotten him so hooked. He’d heard of such cases, when the scent of your true mate, the one best-suited to carrying your babies, grabbed you and didn’t let you go.
All right. He could control his bodily urges, though. He should be able to, by now. He wasn’t the same person he’d been years back, when he’d done something so awful he knew he didn’t deserve anything good in life.
Besides, he couldn’t lead Zach on. He couldn’t Claim him, Mate with him. It was better to just stay away, steer clear of the pretty omega, let him find a good, responsible alpha to take care of him.
Damn. He stopped, his heart pounding hard, his cock stiff in his pants, a red mist rising in his eyes. Zach was his, damn it. Not anyone else’s. Nobody else could have him.
Shit, Val. Listen to yourself. You’re going full wolf on this thing. Zach isn’t yours, he can never be yours.
And you know it.