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“Mr. De Chateau?”
“Just call me Val.” Valerian stood up from the creaky plastic chair that had molded to his ass over the past week and stretched, feeling his spine crack and his joints pop. “Any news?”
“Valerian.” The doctor was an old alpha and Val had seen more of him over the week than he’d seen his own father in years. “You should go home, get some sleep. His state isn’t going to change.”
“But it has to, damn it.” Valerian scrubbed the sleep from his eyes. “He has to wake up.”
“That’s a possibility,” the doctor said cautiously, though his tone lacked conviction. “Did you want to visit your father?”
“Yes.”
“Right. This time, though, please refrain from yelling at him to wake up, all right? I don’t want to call the hospital security on you again. It doesn’t sit well with me.”
“Right...”
“May I ask why you’re so determined to wake your alpha father up? I know it’s none of my business, but I couldn’t help but notice that there doesn’t seem to be any love wasted between you, I mean, from the names you call him.”
“I have my reasons.”
“What I am trying to say, Valerian, is that... it would be humane to let him go now. He’s not in pain. It would be like slipping away in his sleep.”
“He doesn’t deserve to go peacefully,” Val growled. “But I’d let the asshole go if he wasn’t dragging me down with him.”
“Oh?” The doctor gave him a curious look. “Dragging you down how?”
“Look, you’re right, it’s none of your damn business.”
The doctor grimaced. “Sorry if I overstepped.”
“It’s okay.” Valerian’s nerves were twitching under his skin. Too many sleepless nights on the plastic chairs of the hospital, too much bitter coffee from the vending machine.
Too little hope.
He didn’t wish for his father to die, and not only because of the mess he’d made of Valerian’s life. His father was all he had. He’d never known his omega father who had apparently abandoned Val and his alpha father when Valerian had only been a baby, taking his twin brother with him—a brother Valerian often thought about but had no hopes of ever meeting.
Sadly, this wasn’t one of those cheap melodramatic TV shows where the omega father would one day return, or his twin brother would sit there saying he’d been looking for Val all his life.
No, Valerian was alone in this mess and had to fix it.
After all, it was his fault.
Not his omega father walking out on them, no. But what came next and convinced his alpha father that he could change. That he had changed, that he wasn’t a slut anymore, about to squander the family fortune and only interested in sleeping around.
Yeah, Valerian had brought this on himself, and now his father had to wake up so that Val could convince him he’d do better if only given a chance.
A second chance. That was all he was asking for. And he’d never had so much to fight for, so much to lose, as now. What was more, it felt like this was just the beginning.
Zach. If he could have Zach, for more than one night, for the rest of his life, then nothing else mattered.
***
His father didn’t wake up that day, or the next, and eventually, Val returned to Howl Academy. It was his last year, and he couldn’t keep missing classes and deadlines. You could only reschedule that many tests and delay the writing and turning in of essays.
Damn.
Deep below it all lay a sadness he couldn’t quite explain. He’d known his father was dying for years. Cancer was like that. But he’d spent so long being pissed off at him that he couldn’t let go of the anger—and now, with finding Zach, his fury had mounted. His alpha father was a fucking bastard and his will was a bad joke. He had to wake up from the coma and change it, or else...
Or else Valerian could never be with Zach. And he was already fucked because he needed the money to pay for the auction. What the hell was he going to do?
What to do...
The night he’d spent with Zach was on his mind night and day. He needed to talk to Zach but didn’t know what the hell to say.
Thank you for the fucking best night of my life?
I want more?
I want to see you even if I don’t know if I can afford you?
My father is dying and he made this will because I was an ass in the past and now... now I need that money to pay for the auction and if I do as he says there’s no future for us anyway?
Fuck.
He threw his pen at the wall. It left a small mark. What he wanted was to smash the furniture, throw his expensive laptop out the window, shift, and shed all worry and responsibility.
A pity it wouldn’t work. Besides, he needed the laptop for his essay, and failing the year would also lose him everything in his father’s will. He’d covered all bases, the old bastard. To inherit, Valerian could be nothing short of perfect. The pressure was a constant weight on Val’s shoulders, had been, for the past four years, ever since his father had announced his decision.
Not because Val needed heaps of money. He intended to get a job and work his fucking ass off, thank you very much. It hadn’t been an issue until Zach’s auction.
Money hadn’t been the problem. Valerian himself was the problem. He should have stayed away from Zach from the start, as he’d intended. He hadn’t managed, and look where it had landed him.
In much deeper shit.
With no way out.
And the incessant pounding on his door wasn’t helping with anything.
“Fuck off!” he shouted for the hundredth time. “I don’t wanna see anyone.”
“Too bad!” It was Alex’s voice. “We brought the babies. They were asking for you.”
A grin pulled at his lips, despite everything. “They were, huh?”
“Very loudly. Come on, let us in. Kai needs to put them to the breast. A pissed-off omega is worse than a mad dragon, trust me.”
“A leaky dragon,” Kai’s voice came. He sounded... exasperated. And tired.
Shit.
He’d managed to ignore his friends and the world since he got back from the hospital, but Alex was playing dirty, bringing along the babies and Kai. No way was Val going to be able to keep the door shut knowing that Kai was tired and the babies hungry.
With a curse, he got up and threw the door open, then without a word, he went back inside and sat at his laptop.
“The History of the Great War with Emphasis on the role of Shifters.”
Fucking essays.
Who the hell cared about the Great War? So many more pressing issues one had to deal with. And of course, he couldn’t focus on the essay, alone in his room or surrounded by his friends, but he glowered at the laptop screen anyway as the others settled in the small sitting area of his tiny dormitory apartment.
The sounds filtered in. Alex whispering something to his mate, answered by a light chuckle. A baby wailing briefly. Small sucking sounds. A quiet gasp. A reassuring murmur.
He looked up and found his friends seated together on his sofa, Alex’s arm thrown around his mate’s shoulders, the babies snug against Kai’s chest, feeding. It was sweet. Fucking sweet and perfect and it made Val’s chest ache.
“Comfortable?” he growled, because he couldn’t quite get out of the black mood, couldn’t go from fifty shades of furious to the sunny, welcoming host. “Need anything? Any pink, heart-shaped cushions, maybe? Wanna lie on my bed and cuddle better?”
“Shut up, buddy,” Alex said, his voice sharp. “You don’t get to be that sarcastic asshole with my mate and kids. You wanna pick a fight, pick it with me.”
“It’s my fucking room,” Val pointed out.
“So what?”
Alex was right. Val had to get his head out of his ass, but he wasn’t in the mood, damn it.
With a sigh, he turned his chair around to face them fully. “Whatever. Help yourselves to my fridge, have fun, and let me study.”
“Val,” Alex growled, his eyes going yellow and wolf-like. “Sit your ass down and talk. I’ve used up my last scrap of patience. What the hell is going on with you?”
“Nothing. Behind on studying, like I said.”
“That’s not what you said.”
“No?”
“No. You just snapped at us.”
“Well, boohoo. Don’t take it personally, fucker. Dry your tears.”
“It’s personal when it comes to my friends.”
Still playing dirty. Hitting below the belt.
Val sighed, closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his calm and patience, gathering the scattering pieces of himself back together. “Let me get us some coffee,” he said. “Kai, some juice for you?”
“That would be great,” Kai said with a smile.
All right. Val went off in search of caffeine and juice, forcing his mind to what his hands were doing and away from Zach and the god damn will.
Returning without setting the apartment on fire, he placed everything on the low coffee table and sat back down, scowling down at his mug of black, bitter coffee.
“So spill,” Alex said, not touching his coffee, pinning Val with his gaze. “What’s going on with you? Where were you these past two weeks?”
“My alpha father is very sick,” he admitted. “Has been for a while, but now it’s almost at the end. I got a call that he fell in a coma and I drove over to be with him. The doctors hoped he’d wake up but... nothing so far.”
“Oh Val, I’m so sorry,” Kai whispered, looking up from his babies, his eyes big and full of concern.
“Don’t be. He’s an asshole. I... Just forget it.” He picked up his mug and stared down into its black depths, cursing inside.
What had gotten into him? He hadn’t planned on telling them the truth, but the words had slipped out of his mouth like ghosts.
He didn’t want Alex and Kai to be looking at him like that, damn it. He wanted a pair of bright green eyes looking back at him, he wanted that smile that was a tiny bit wicked and a lot happy and sweet. He wanted Zach.
With every day that passed, he missed him more.
“What about Zach?” Alex asked, because he was a fucking mind-reader, apparently. “Have you seen him lately?”
“Why do you ask?”
“He looks... lost,” Kai said, looking away, a shadow of concern in his eyes. “And sad. And he won’t tell me what happened that night of the auction. I mean, he insists it went okay, but he seems unhappy, and—”
“Look, what the fuck do you want me to say? He seemed to enjoy what we did.”
The silence that greeted his words was deafening. He glared back at Kai, and Alex, and slowly realized that they didn’t seem upset, only... stunned.
“You?” Kai muttered, eyes round as saucers. “You were the alpha who won Zach’s auction?”
Shit. Zach hadn’t told them.
Why hadn’t he told them?
You’re an idiot. Why would he? Zach probably didn’t want to see his face again. He hadn’t even called or dropped by after he’d returned from the hospital, because he still didn’t know what the hell to tell him.
What the hell to do. Seeing Zach would weaken his resolve, confuse him more. He had to sort his head, decide... decide what he’d do if his father never woke up again. Even if it broke him into two. Even if—
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alex demanded, eyes flashing. “You never said a word about an auction and Zach.”
“Oh, I need to run every decision I make by you, is that it?”
“What the hell were you thinking? Don’t you understand that he’s Kai’s friend, and a good person, and that you shouldn’t lead them on like that?”
“You think I don’t know he’s a good person? That I don’t care? Fuck. I couldn’t let him have his first time with someone else. What if they hurt him? Got their filthy paws on him? Zach’s mine.”
Another, more interesting silence followed this time. What the hell did they want from him, huh?
Then he replayed his words inside his head and froze. “Uh, guys...”
“That’s so interesting,” Alex said, a sharp grin curling at the corners of his mouth.
“No, actually, I—”
“And I finally have an answer to all my questions.”
“No, you don’t. Listen—”
“Come on, Kai, I think the babies are falling asleep. Time to leave Val alone to study.”
“Yeah, we should get going,” Kai said, flashing Val a smile. “I’m glad we came. Glad you told us all this. Let us know if you need help with anything.”
“Oh yeah, man, if you need my notes,” Alex said, “or if you need someone to go with you to the hospital, you know... just gimme a call.”
They both looked at him, all smiles, probably thinking they had him figured out, that they had the whole thing figured out, laid out and cut to measure with a little happy ending sticker attached on top.
Fuck this. No, they weren’t getting it, they had no clue. Wanting Zach, wanting him to be his wasn’t enough to fix the mess Val was in and snag that happy ending that Alex and Kai were living.
Not everyone had a right to that, and certainly not Valerian with the way he’d fucked up other people’s lives...