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Zach was having a bad day.
First, he’d discovered that the kitchens had run out of his new favorite peanut butter and hot salsa.
And then, to top it off, one of his dancing shoes had ripped in a way that he wasn’t sure he could repair it himself. However, going to the admin offices for a new pair was out of the question, now that his belly was so swollen.
That should have been a big red flag warning: Caution, this day isn’t going well. Stay in bed under the covers and await further instructions.
A pity this was real life.
Despite these woes—small in the face of others, such as not having been Claimed by an alpha yet as his pregnant belly threatened to explode through his robes, and above all, not having been Claimed or even sought out by Valerian—he still had to rehearse and work out ways to dance without his belly getting in the way and get over his exhaustion and moody spells.
He honestly didn’t know why he still thought of Valerian.
Except for the souvenir in his belly, of course. Hard to forget when you couldn’t bend over to put on your shoes and your nipples hurt all the time? When your bellybutton had decided to pop out and stay out, sticking out like a button underneath your robes, and your babies decided to have a kicking fest against your ribs and bladder at the most inconvenient times?
At least his friends knew now, and he could count of them to help him out, both in the dancing department as well as sneaking out food from the kitchens and fixing his clothes. Tate had proven to be a treasure, not that Zach had ever doubted that. He was like... like Galahad in the tales of the Holy Grail he’d liked as a kid. Pure of heart.
Also a good tailor and not bad at sneaking through the academy. Not very Galahad like, that part.
Tate, whom he was following now toward the cafeteria to have some lunch—thank God, or else Zach would have started gnawing on his own robes in a minute—through the academy school corridors.
Tate was also very excited about Zach’s pregnancy, which was nice, considering it sometimes felt like a sword hanging over his head.
Or around his waist, as it were.
Not that he regretted it.
“You are not a mistake,” he told the baby—babies?—in his belly. “Never a mistake. You hear me? No matter what, I want you. I love you. I’ll do anything to make you happy.” In reply, he got a flutter and kicking that made him gasp and rub the spot on his belly. “Easy now,” he breathed. “It’s okay.”
But he’d slowed down, falling behind Tate, close to a group of Blossom Boys who were having their tea outside in the weak sunshine, piled on a stone bench outside a classroom.
“Did you hear?” someone said, sounding all breathy and excited, and Zach didn’t really pay any attention, until that someone said, “Valerian de Chateau is getting married. His Clan announced the Claiming.”
Zach stopped in his tracks, his breath going out of him in a whoosh.
What?
No.
No way.
This wasn’t happening.
“Zach, what is it?” Tate stopped a few steps ahead and turned around, looking for him. What is it? His eyes tracked down to where Zach still had his hands on his belly. “Are you all right?”
No, he wasn’t all right. Not at all.
“They said...” His voice went out, and he tried again. “Someone said that Valerian is getting married. Who is he Claiming? Who...?”
“Zach. I thought you had decided to let him go.”
“Let him go.” Zach gave a bitter chortle of laughter. “As if any of this depends on me.”
“But Zach...”
“He can’t. Oh, God.” His vision blurred. “I won’t be okay. Not without him. I don’t want him to find someone else. I want him to come back to me.”
“You still love him,” Tate said sadly.
Zach had no reply. Blindly, he started walking with no idea of where he was going. Rubbing at his belly, trying to remember he couldn’t fall apart, that he wasn’t alone in his body, that his babies were innocent and deserved someone who was happy and had his ducks in a row, he hurried away.
Away from this new turn in the path that seemed to be leading to an empty void.
“Zach!” Tate called out. “Zach, slow down. Zach!”
He was running by now, his shoes slapping on the flagstones of the corridor he’d taken at random, small stabs of pain in his sides and black spots swirling in his eyes telling him he should slow down.
He couldn’t. He couldn’t run away from this fast enough. Somehow, he had to get away, escape, find another way—but the world was getting swallowed in black and he was falling.
Someone caught him by the arm, kept him on his feet. “Zach, are you okay? You’re white like a sheet.”
Zach hung on to him, blinking until his sight returned. He was breathing hard and shaking like a leaf. “Kai?”
It was him, the baby wagon behind him. Zach could make out the babies’ sleeping little faces, pale against the dark blue blanket they were wrapped in.
The sight calmed him down a little.
“Yeah, it’s me,” Kai said. “I came to talk to you. Listen, Zach, you may hear rumors—”
“It is true? Is Valerian getting hitched?”
“Damn, you heard. I... that is, it’s complicated. Look—”
“Is it true, Kai?”
“... yeah.”
“Shit. Oh shit.”
“Come here, sit down. You shouldn’t get so stressed. Think of the baby.”
Zach didn’t even have the presence of mind to shush Kai, tell him not to talk about babies out loud. It was still a secret until he’d found someone, and oh, damn...
Looked like that somewhere deep inside, he’d still held hope that Val would come back. And now...
“Valerian won’t leave you hanging,” Kai said. “Have you told him you’re pregnant?”
“No. And you can’t tell him, Kai. Promise me.”
“But why—?”
“Don’t you get it?” Tate cut in, reaching them. “Why would he want to force Valerian into Claiming him because of the baby? That’s awful.”
“That’s reality!”
“Says you who got your baby daddy as your Mate. Think, Kai. He wants Valerian to love him, not hate him because he’s forced to Mate him.”
“But is it better to be with an alpha you don’t like so you have a roof over your head? Think—”
“He’s getting married,” Zach whispered, his voice cracking. He took a deep breath. “I don’t need him. I won’t. God, Kai, if you can’t understand that... I’d rather live with an alpha I don’t care for than have Valerian be with me because he has to.”
“I do understand,” Kai whispered, his eyes shiny with tears. “I do get it, Zach.”
Zach gave a jerky nod and turned his face away so his friends wouldn’t see the pain he felt written all over him. “I love him,” he whispered.
“That... changes everything,” Kai said, eyes bright.
“It changes nothing,” Zach whispered.
Though it sure had. It had changed everything.
“You can’t hide it from him forever,” Kai said.
“I know. But I hope by the time the baby comes I will have an alpha lined up to Claim me. I...” The pain and fear of imagining a future with another alpha—without Valerian—took his breath away. He struggled to push it back down. “I won’t be one of those omegas who attach themselves to an alpha like a leech. He came to me twice. We spent two nights together. If not for this...” He caressed his bump.
“He would have stayed with you,” Kai said stubbornly.
It got Zach’s dormant anger to flare. “Yeah? So where is he? Why hasn’t he come back? The auction night was months ago, Kai! Months. In fact...” Cold coursed through him as he tried to calculate. “Shit. More than two months ago. That doesn’t leave me that much time.”
Kai’s face all but crumbled. “Zach...”
“I have to find someone I kind of like before the Dean imposes some old dude on me,” Zach said faintly. “You get that, right? You get why I can’t go crawling back to Valerian? Why I can’t tell him?”
“Your pride.”
“It’s all I have left,” Zach said. “I can at least pretend I have control over my life. That I’m not really a thing to be bought and sold. That I can choose.”
“Come here.” Kai opened his arms, “You, too, Tate. Group hug.”
“I don’t want a hug,” Zach grumbled, “I—”
He was dragged into the hug regardless, and closed his eyes, letting himself sag against his friends, shutting out the world for a long moment, hoping when he opened his eyes again this nightmare would be over.
But he knew he wasn’t that lucky... and it was proven the very next day when he was called to the Dean’s office.
***
Zach was shaking. Too scared of passing out—thank you, pregnancy, for introducing weaknesses one never had to consider before—he leaned against the wall outside the Dean’s office, waiting for the pounding in his head to ease and the sweat to stop pouring into his eyes.
Crap.
The message had come as he’d sat in a classroom, tuning his lute, his mind churning with the few memories he’d made with Valerian, the shock of the news of him Claiming someone else, the realization he really was alone in this... adventure.
Alone with Valerian’s babies.
So he’d already been shaky when the Dean’s messenger boy had poked his head inside and told him that the Dean wanted to see him.
Zach still didn’t know what the Dean wanted him about, but if it was the pregnancy, it had taken the news longer than Zach had thought it would to reach the Dean.
Anyway, he’d realize the moment he saw Zach. The Dean wasn’t blind.
Zach smoothed his hands over the roundness of his belly and drew a slow, careful breath. He held it. Then let it out.
And again.
When he felt steady enough, he knocked on the door and pushed it open upon hearing the Dean’s “enter” from the other side.
“Zachary. Come inside and close the door.”
“Yes, Dean.” His knees wobbly, he made his way to one of the chairs and lowered himself in it.
The Dean glanced up from a document he’d been reading, and his gaze zeroed in to Zach’s belly immediately. “Let me get straight to the point. I hear that you’re pregnant.”
Any doubt as to whether the Dean knew about his condition flew out the window.
“Yes, Dean,” he whispered, feeling his face heat up.
“Look at you.” The Dean sat back and waved a pudgy hand at Zach, his face settling into a frown. “Just how far along are you? Why did you have to throw up during an event and wait to have someone else tell me about it instead of coming to me straight away, the moment you realized?”
“I... I don’t know,” Zach whispered.
Which was a lie. He knew very well. He’d stupidly waited for Valerian to come find him, save him, love him—all the while telling himself stories about how he was going to do this on his own, how he’d find another alpha before anyone knew anything was up—or inside his belly, in this case—and somehow save himself and his heart from ruin.
Stupid, Zach. So very stupid.
“I will assume it’s a result of the auction.” The Dean narrowed his eyes at Zach over his spectacles. “Am I right to assume that?”
“Yes, Dean.”
It was the truth, for a change, and Dean nodded, as if realizing that. “I see. And the alpha hasn’t expressed any interest in Claiming you. I would have seen the trail of paperwork from his Courting.”
Past the lump in his throat, Zach swallowed hard and croaked a “No, sir.”
He shivered.
“He still owes the money for the auction, too.” The Dean shuffled a few papers on his desk. “Where... ah here. Hm, yes, still owes the money. I should contact him about that at least...”
Zach closed his eyes and swallowed hard. “What will happen to me? I mean... you won’t sell me, right?”
The Dean scowled. “I deny all and any rumors about selling boys. Also, you’re a Lotus Boy now. Your name is on the official Lotus List.”
So he was safe.
Zach sagged back in relief.
“But we will have to find you an alpha,” the Dean went on. “Some older alphas who aren’t so... confident in their ability to have children look for pregnant young omegas. Don’t fret, my boy. We will find you a rich one who will pay your debts and give you a good life.”
How old will he be? Zach wanted to ask but didn’t dare. If they had doubts they could reproduce, in a fertile race like the werewolves, he didn’t want to even think about it.
And he shouldn’t have tears welling up in his eyes. He shouldn’t be thinking of Valerian once again.
“So this is it, then.” The Dean clapped his hands together briskly. “Don’t look so crestfallen. Why didn’t you put a condom on your alpha? This is on you.”
“But—”
“Now you’ll have to live with your mistake. No more events for you, not until I determine what to do. Meanwhile... I want you to visit the nurse immediately to check that everything is okay, and I’ll send out feelers to see who might be interested in you. You disappointed me, Zachary. I had big plans for you. Go now. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“But I don’t regret it,” Zach breathed as he pushed himself up to his feet. “Not a mistake.”
“Get out of here,” the Dean muttered. “Go on!”
Zach didn’t regret it at all, but it didn’t change the fact that Tate had been right. The Dean would find him an alpha and get as much money as he could over Zach. Just business.
Zach’s whole life had been just business. From the start, he’d been a slave, an object of alphas’ desires, a commodity, sold and bought like sex and booze was.
And nothing had changed. He’d been a fool to think it ever would.