Aaron cocked his head. It didn’t take much to work out Sophie had arrived in the yard. If it wasn’t for the sound of her car, the reactions of the horses would be indication enough.
Although he’d never say it to her, he was glad she’d defied his ban, that their fight in the feed room a week ago hadn’t stopped her from coming to see the horses each afternoon.
He still missed her morning presence acutely. He missed her laughter, her kindness, the way she made his stomach lurch when she smiled that beautiful, gut-twisting shy smile, her intelligence and humour, the easy, confident way she rode, her unconscious sexiness, her vulnerability, the way she made him feel protective and desperate to keep her from harm.
He missed every perfect and imperfect bit of her.
Why couldn’t he just tell her? Everything would be resolved then. All he had to do was sit her down and say the words and it would be over. But Sophie had been right. He couldn’t, because he loved her and didn’t want to lose her.
He was as selfish now as he was then. Time had cured nothing.
He stared at the bills spread out over the table. Several had ‘Final Notice’ stamped across them in red ink. Both Rowdy and Pollyanna were racing this weekend, and if they won, the red ink would be gone. He’d still have the heavy weight of Hakea Lodge’s mortgage on his back, but he didn’t care so much about the bank – it held the title deeds as surety and would never be out of pocket if he went under. The local businesses he owed money to, small operators like himself, people he’d known for years, weren’t so lucky. They could only rely on his honesty and the hope he’d come good. He couldn’t let them down.
He packed the invoices and statements into a pile, keeping the most urgent on top. It still looked bad, but the tide had started to turn. Proving his previous performance wasn’t a fluke, Costa Motza had run another second, beaten by a very short-priced favourite against a strong field. The other horses had gained some much needed placings, and last weekend, Rowdy had taken out the Mount Campbell Steeplechase, which injected twenty thousand dollars into Aaron’s overdraft. Word of his latest winning streak had spread and the phone hadn’t stopped ringing. Creditors, knowing he had money, demanded their cut before it went to someone else.
He left the bills on the table where he knew Danny would see them. It never hurt to remind the jockey that his position, not to mention his extorted free accommodation, was only secure as long as Hakea Lodge remained afloat. Aaron mightn’t be able to sack him, but a bank would have no qualms. He’d love to see the look on Danny’s face when that happened. All the secrets in the world wouldn’t save him then.
Aaron fingered the top bill. It would never come to that because he wouldn’t let it. Hakea Lodge would survive no matter what, and if that meant putting up with Danny, then he would endure his presence regardless of how much the little bastard made his skin crawl.
To his surprise, when he went outside, he found Sophie sitting on the verandah step, her head leaning against the post and her eyes half-closed. The sun was shining, beaming warmth onto the yard, teasing them that, though it was now the first day of June, winter hadn’t really arrived.
‘Sophie?’ He crouched down next to her. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Tess is gone,’ she said flatly. ‘She left for rehab this morning.’
‘That’s good, isn’t it?’
She nodded. ‘She’s stuck in a pretty bad place but at least she has hope now, and knowing she’ll have Braeburn at the end makes all the difference. She even gave me a hug and thanked me for talking to Dad.’
He gently brushed hair away from her face, wondering why she looked so sad. ‘So, what’s the matter?’
‘I don’t know.’ She raised her head to look at him. ‘I guess I’ll miss her.’
‘Tess? After all she’s done to you?’
‘I know it sounds stupid, but yes.’ She wrapped her arms around her legs, staring across the yard at Rowdy with her chin resting on her knees. ‘Tess could be horrible but at least she was always there.’ She frowned as if she didn’t like the way that sounded. ‘I don’t know. I feel like something’s ended. Like I’ve been cut free at last.’
‘And that’s a bad thing?’
‘No, it’s not. But I think it might take a while to get used to.’ She let go of her knees and stood up, looking back down at him. ‘Dad’s going to talk to the trustees. He can’t see any reason why they wouldn’t let me come into my inheritance early.’
‘That’s great, Sophie. It’s what you wanted.’
‘Yeah,’ she said, squinting toward the horizon. ‘I have almost everything I wanted. So why do I feel so empty?’
Aaron knew the answer, but what was the point in saying it?
Suddenly, she smiled. ‘Still, I can’t complain too much. I have loads to be grateful for. Besides, if I get really desperate for someone to talk to, there’s always Sammy and Del. And unlike Tess, they don’t answer back.’
Relief bathed him with warmth that far outdid any morning sunshine. Sophie was back smiling, her gloomy thoughts forgotten. He grinned at her. ‘And Buck and Chuck. Don’t forget them.’
‘Never.’
‘And cattle. You have lots of fat Herefords to keep you company.’
‘They burp and fart a lot though.’
‘True.’ He laughed. ‘But then so do I.’
‘Do you?’
‘No. Not really.’ He eyed her sheepishly. ‘Well, a bit.’ He stood and gripped her shoulders. ‘I’m a bloke, Sophie. It happens.’
She rolled her eyes. ’No wonder I prefer horses.’
‘Oh, and you don’t burp and fart?’
‘No. Not much.’ She paused. ‘Well, a little.’
They stared at one another and then burst out laughing. Aaron gave her a hug, wanting to feel her giggling against him, wanting so much of what he couldn’t have. He let her go, smiling at her shining eyes and tucking her hair behind her ears so he could see her face properly. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that she’d always have him to talk to, but kept the words buried where they belonged.
‘You’ll be fine, Soph. It’ll just take a bit of getting used to.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ She sighed. ‘Anyway I’ll be too busy to think about being lonely.’
‘Why? ’
‘You should see the state of the cottage. It’ll take me a week just to get rid of the bottles.’
Aaron stared into the distance. A ute was parked at the gate of Sophie’s lucerne paddock, its occupants having wandered into the centre of the stand. Aaron recognised the unmistakably solid form of Ben Moore. He stood with a long-lensed camera in his hands and his face turned to Sophie as she, oblivious to his scrutiny, knelt in the dirt, busily inspecting plants.
She’d warned him Ben was coming to take some photographs for the Harrington Rural Traders newsletter, that it was purely a professional arrangement, but the sight of them together was still a horse-kick in the stomach. He turned away.
Danny drew Psycho alongside Rowdy. ‘That’s Sophie with that bloke from the farm place, isn’t it?’
Like the rat he was, Danny had sensed something was up. More than once he’d brought up with Aaron the rumour that Sophie had had a one-night stand with Ben Moore, just to provoke a reaction. It had taken every scrap of willpower Aaron had to stay impassive. He knew exactly what had happened that night and it still haunted him.
He ignored Danny’s question and they rode on, Aaron restraining himself from galloping Rowdy at the barbed-wire fence separating him from Sophie and jumping it like some deranged medieval knight ready to defend his maiden’s honour.
As they reached the corner, Sophie rose and turned to watch. Ben stood with her and Aaron found he couldn’t take his eyes off him. But Ben wasn’t interested in him. Aaron may as well have not existed. Ben was looking only at Sophie, at her watching Aaron with an unwavering gaze.
Rowdy called out to his mistress and baulked as Aaron urged him on. The horse kept whinnying and staring back at Sophie, and Aaron had the weird feeling Rowdy had read his mind and was only doing what he would do if he had the guts.
‘She’s coming to the fence, boss,’ said Danny. ’You want to stop?’
‘No.’
‘She’s waving.’
Aaron kicked Rowdy hard. The horse pigrooted and was rewarded with another kick. ‘I don’t give a toss if she’s cartwheeling. Keep going.’
Danny smiled, exposing yellow teeth that reminded Aaron of a rabid dog. ‘You’ve got the hots for her, I reckon.’
Aaron was too angry with himself to speak.
‘Yep, you’ve got it bad for young Sophie. She’d be a good catch, too, with that farm of hers and her old man being so rich and powerful. Marry her and you’d be set. Probably forget all about old Danny-boy.’ Danny let out an exaggerated sigh. ‘Lucky she doesn’t know about that other business. Imagine what she’ll say when she finds out what you did.’
‘Shut up.’
Danny’s eyes narrowed. ‘She’ll find out one day. Word can get around, if you know what I mean.’
Aaron grabbed Danny by the front of his jumper, almost dragging him off Psycho. ‘If anyone’s telling her anything, it’ll be me, you hear?’ He shook him. ‘You hear?’
‘Yeah, boss. I hear.’
Aaron let him go, furious with himself for exposing his temper. He pushed Rowdy into a canter and then let him have his head, galloping up the two hills toward home and allowing the wind to whip away his anger until he was left with only sorrow and the haunt of Danny’s threat.