Chapter Five

Over the course of a few days, their kisses grew more intense, and their hands grew bolder in their roaming while sitting and watching television every evening. By Friday Eleanor was more than ready to make love to the man, but a thought had been nagging at her since her first day in his house.

Was the fact that she was away from her brother, away from all that she’d ever known, making her feel this way about Dustin? Was her total lack of a social life where men were concerned what made him all the more wonderful?

“You’re quiet tonight,” he said, squeezing her in tighter against his side, as they lounged on the couch in front of the television.

“Just thinking about things.”

He turned off the sound on the TV and shifted to see her face. “What things?”

She noticed the worry in his eyes and knew she shouldn’t bother trying to avoid the topic and others. He had a fib detector like nobody she’d ever seen before. “About work, about my brother—about us.”

“And what about us?” He leaned in close and stole a quick kiss.

“Promise to hear me out?”

He sat up straighter, his face a stone facade. “I’m listening.”

She sat back and took a deep breath. “Well, I was thinking that I’m probably so happy because I’m not at my brother’s house, under his rule.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“I know, but there’s more to it. I guess, well, I guess I’m afraid that I want you so much because you’ve rescued me from the tower,” she said in a rush.

He didn’t move, didn’t even blink for several long and painful moments.

“How much?” he asked, his voice low and warm, his gaze heated.

“What?”

“How much do you want me?”

She found it difficult to breathe but wasn’t about to pull back now. “I want all of you. I want—I want to make love to you,” she whispered.

A wicked grin eased over his lips. “If memory serves, the knight does get the girl in the end. So—”

She giggled as he slipped his arms beneath her and rose with to his feet with her cradled against him.

“There will come a point of no return, you realize,” he said, carrying her down the hall to his bedroom.

“And you’ll tell me before we get too far if I want to stop,” she said, knowing it was true.

He paused at the side of his bed. “I’ll try. But I have a feeling once I get started, once I start exploring your lush curves that I’ll be in another world entirely.”

“I think I like the sound of that.” She smiled, her nerves barely a bother over the immense need to have this man.

“And I’m glad you like the idea,” he said, then kissed her with a thoroughness she’d never experienced, as he lowered her to the bed.

Dustin knew their discussion wasn’t over, that this was a delicious distraction from what was bothering her. But he hoped that by showing her how much he cared, how much he was growing to love her, she’d quit worrying over how they came together. And more importantly, if they should stay together.

He knew her life with her brother and how she was raised had formed much of her view on things, and that they’d be a massive hurdle to get over, but he had to try.

Concentrating his efforts, pushing aside all thought of their previous conversation and her worries, he worked on tasting every inch of her exposed skin while exposing more along the way.

As their clothes fell away and their hands and lips explored one another, a staggering thought occurred to him.

“Sweetheart, I have to ask you—” His voice was lost as his gaze fell on her lush pert breasts, now exposed to his view.

She partially covered herself with her hands. “What?”

He gently moved her hands aside and began a path of heady exploration with his mouth across the sweet mounds. Her breathing quickened as he pulled one rosy tip into his mouth. But knowing her background and how incredibly shy she was, his question still needed to be asked.

Moving over her soft skin, he made his way to her lips. “Are you a virgin, Eleanor?”

He paused, their lips a breath away as he looked into her eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you, and it can be uncomfortable the first time.”

She smiled softly. Lifting her hand, she slid her fingers through his hair at his brow. “You’re really wonderful, you know that?”

A smile eased the tension building in his gut. “I am, am I?”

“Mm-hmm.” She traced his jaw with the tips of her fingers, then ran them across his lips. “I’m not a virgin,” she said, her gaze on the path of her fingers. “But it was years ago, so I suppose there might be some discomfort.”

He took her hand from his face and leaned in for a kiss. “I’ll be as gentle as I can,” he whispered between tender kisses.

“I know you will.”

Determined to make sure he wasn’t only gentle when the time came, he made sure Eleanor was thoroughly satisfied beforehand. But the taste of her on his tongue, her gasps and whimpers of pleasure as he loved her with his lips and tongue, made it more than difficult not to take her in one smooth, solid thrust.

Holding back with everything he was, he moved over her, his lips barely touching hers, as he poised himself at the edge of her slick heat.

“I’ll try not to hurt you.”

“I know,” she said.

He moved slowly, watching her face the entire time, although it was damned hard. Once he was completely inside her heated core, he forced himself to pause.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt better.” A Cheshire type grin tipped up her lips. “But um, I think you’ve still got some work to do.”

He smiled then kissed her as he began to move, easing into a tempo that sent them both spiraling out of control and into heaven.

****

After a week of absolute bliss, in the bedroom and out, Dustin suspected Eleanor was having second thoughts about their relationship. Her continued mentioning of her damsel in distress theory was more than just a warning sign. Although they’d gathered a few more of her things from her brother’s house after dealing with his dislike about their arrangement, when her car arrived, his suspicions were validated.

“I’ll be driving myself to work on Monday,” she said, picking at her food.

He just nodded, knowing she was working up to say more. She really did have trouble discussing topics that made her uncomfortable, especially if the discussion would be unpleasant.

“I’ll miss taking you.”

She nodded, a brightness to her eyes he didn’t care for at all. It wasn’t a good sign.

“I’ll miss it, too. But I hate being a bother—”

“You’re not a bother,” he snapped, then wished he could pull back his comment, or at least the tone. But she was always doing that, making it sound like she was some sort of weight around his neck, when the truth was just the opposite.

She looked back to her food. “I think—I think it’s time I got a place of my own,” she said, her voice so soft it was barely a whisper.

His jaw clenched, and he took a deep breath as he set aside his fork, his appetite gone. “Is there a reason you don’t want to stay here? Is it because I snapped? Because if it is—”

“No, of course not. I know you hate it when I say stuff like that.” She cast him a small smile. “I’m trying to stop, but habits can be hard to break.”

“Then why move out?”

She shrugged and put her fork aside. “I’ve never had a place of my own.”

“There’s more to it than that, Eleanor.”

“Okay.” She took a deep breath and faced him. “I’m afraid that if I stay here, I’ll be doing the same thing I’ve been doing my entire life. I have to take control. I can’t let someone else do that anymore.”

He managed to rein in his temper but had to force the words past his constricted throat. “When have I ever controlled you? When have I ever told you what you could or couldn’t do?”

But his pain was too much and his temper flared. “Damn it, Eleanor, I’m not your brother!”

He jumped to his feet and stormed across the room, then took several deep breaths before facing her again. “I understand your need for independence, but I don’t see why that has to mean living apart.”

“I need to be by myself so that I can figure out what I want.” She got to her feet and crossed to where he stood. “Don’t you see, Dustin? If I stay here, I’ll never know. I’ll always wonder what my life could’ve been like.”

The pain in his chest nearly took him to his knees. “What you’re saying is you don’t want me in it.”

“No! I’m not saying that at all. I just need some time.”

Dustin bit back the bile rising in his throat. He’d heard that said one too many times by prior girlfriends. Enough to know what it really meant. Only this time, it did more than just hurt. He felt like someone had taken a scalpel to his heart and was slicing it up into tiny pieces.

“Fine,” he said, his throat so tight he barely got it out. “You do what you have to do.”

Unable to stand there and listen to another word, he went to his office and closed the door. She was leaving him. Sure she said she was just moving out, but it was the same thing in the end.

He pushed down his grief. He’d get past this, get past her, and the hurt she caused.

“Maybe I’m just doomed to be alone,” he muttered, then sat down at his desk. His hands automatically opened the account book before him, and he picked up a pencil, but his mind wasn’t involved. Sitting there, his pencil poised, all he could do was stare off into space.

****

Eleanor couldn’t contain the tears streaming down her cheeks. She’d hurt him, but he had to understand. She needed to be on her own, to live her life, and she had to do it without leaning on someone else the way she’d leaned on her brother for so many years.

Being with him was wonderful, the sex was more than she’d ever imagined, but in the end, wasn’t she using him as her shield and protector the same way she’d allowed her brother to be her protector for so many years?

Unable to face him again, unable to bear the sight of pain in his eyes, she decided to gather her things, and move out that day. She’d go back to her brother’s house for the interim until she could get an apartment. It was for the best. Staying with Dustin now would only hurt them both more.

As she hurried to pack, she reminded herself over and over why she was doing this. Determined to follow through with her plan, she wouldn’t allow her heart to change her mind.

Within an hour, she was packed and walking out the front door. With one longing glance at the house, she threw her things in her car and drove away, knowing he watched from his office window.

New tears scalded her cheeks the closer she got to her brother’s house. She had a terrible feeling that she’d just thrown away something more important than the need to strike out on her own.