9

 

An inch of snow crunched beneath Lane’s boots as he walked beside Rae down the road leading out of town. The sun made it warm enough for a walk.

Rae buried her hands in the pockets of her red wool coat.

He balled his fists in his pockets too, so he wouldn’t untangle the hair knotted in her collar. What was he was doing? He’d gone for a drive to clear his head and found Rae’s convertible in the church lot.

When she’d emerged with wet cheeks and contentment on her face, Lane knew he’d been lead to the right place. What God wanted him to do now was the question.

“How’s Drew?”

“Fine. He left for Atlanta yesterday. We both promised to come home for Easter.”

He ignored the pang in his chest at the thought of her leaving.

She picked at her glove. “How did you know I’d be at the church?”

Lane shrugged. “I’m stalking you.”

Her mouth curled in a pretty grin. “Very funny.”

At the edge of town, they rounded the curve toward Eden’s Creek. In half a mile, they’d reach the covered bridge, another stop he hadn’t planned to make today.

As if it mattered. Everything in the hollow took him back to Rae somehow.

She looked at him, opened her mouth, and then closed it.

“What?”

“I…well, when you fell asleep the other day, I grabbed the blanket from your bed to cover you up.”

Did she think he hadn’t noticed? “Yeah, thanks.”

Breath formed in front of her lips. “In the process of getting the blanket, I knocked your Bible to the floor. I saw your coaster bookmark.”

His feet refused to move another step.

She paused in front of him and turned, scraping her bottom lip between her teeth. “I’m curious how you got it.”

This day was full of surprises. Lane sucked in cold air. Cleared the gravel in his throat. “I waited for you to come home for almost a year. When you didn’t, I went to Nashville to convince you to move back and marry me.”

Her lips parted.

“I found out where you worked. You weren’t scheduled the night I showed up, but the bartender told me you’d be at The Canary. I sat in the back and watched you perform. Saw how happy and natural you were on stage and I…I couldn’t do it.”

She gripped the arm of his coat. “What did you do?”

“Came home. I knew you’d have come back if you wanted to, and if marrying me wasn’t what you wanted, you’d only resent me in the end. I wanted you to want to be with me.”

Rae looked away. Her fingers lost their grip and her hand fell to the side.

“I realized your dreams didn’t include me, or you’d have asked me to go with you the first time.”

She swallowed. “Would you have?”

“No.” That life wasn’t for him. Any more than this life was for her. He tried to keep the sadness from his voice. “I’ve kept the coaster in my Bible ever since. A reminder to pray for you every day.”

The desperation on her face walloped his chest. “You pray for me?” Tears collected on her lashes.

One thing Lane had always loved about Rae was that she didn’t blubber over everything like other women did. When caught in a bind, she’d crack a joke or divert attention. But this Rae could generate the Hoover Dam. It ticked him off because it made him long to crush her to his chest and protect her. But ignoring his feelings hadn’t worked before. Why should now be any different?

His legs remembered their purpose, and he continued moving, though the blasted things were leading him to the covered bridge instead of back to his truck.

Rae caught up with him and they walked in silence.

Along with prayer for her happiness and safety, he’d also prayed that God would remove her from his heart. That request remained unanswered. It wasn’t fair to love a woman he could never have. “Why are you here, Rae?”

“You…you asked me to walk with you.”

“No, I mean, why are you here? Don’t you have commitments? Concerts?”

They reached the covered bridge.

Lane stalked inside and a blast of anger rocked his bones. His boots thumped on the wood beams. Light broke the dimness through the open windows. Rae hung back as he paced, fighting a war between loving and despising her.

Water bubbled over rocks in the creek below. The last time they were here together…wow, they’d still been kids. He’d meant every word he said to her that day, even if she hadn’t meant hers. Lane heard a sniffle behind him.

Rae stood by the window in the middle of the bridge, the one that offered the best view of the creek. Her fingers brushed the heart he’d carved into the beam with his pocket knife. Lane + Raelynn 4 Ever. The day he’d proposed.

“I’m sorry.” Another sniffle. “Once again, I’m only thinking about myself. This must be hard for you, me showing up after all this time. I’ll go.”

She made it to the next window before he found words. “Why were you in rehab?”

Odd question at such a moment. He’d heard rumors, of course, but wanted to hear it from her. Know exactly what scars she carried.

She stopped but kept her back to him. “I had a hard time keeping up with everything—the tour, TV and radio interviews, commercials, rehearsals. At one point, they even mentioned a book. There were times I’d perform in Georgia and have to be in California the next day. I was tired.”

Rae turned, and his heart sank. So beautiful, yet so broken.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and returned her hands to her pockets. “I was too stubborn to admit I needed to slow down. A friend introduced me to a doctor, who prescribed some medications. An upper to keep me going. A downer to help me sleep. A pill to calm me when I was stressed. I was a walking pharmacy.” She stared out the window. The light revealed her red-rimmed eyes. “I started experimenting with other things. When Jay found me in my dressing room strung out on pain killers and vodka, he checked me into rehab.”

Horrible images of the picture she painted made his gut wrench. Rae was used to slow mountain living. He could see where the chaos would be hard to keep up with. “Both times?”

Rae closed her eyes, but not before he’d glimpsed the anguish she was trying to hide. “There’s a lot of pressure to look perfect. Especially on camera. I started workouts with a personal trainer after the studio suggested I lose thirty pounds.” Her eyes opened to reveal a grieving, hollow woman. “I stopped eating.”

His heart ripped in two. “Why?”

“I wanted people to love me. I wanted to be perfect.”

Before he could stop himself, Rae was in his arms. “You are perfect. For me. I’ve always loved you. Just as you are.” White heat sparked through his body as he became painfully aware of her pressed against him. He ached to taste her lips, kiss her until she forgot who or where she was.

She sobbed on his coat.

It was more than he could stand. Lane took her face in his hands and pressed his lips to the salty wetness of her cheeks, kissing away the tears. She was made for his arms. It was too easy to forget she’d been gone. He followed the damp trail down her jaw, the curve of her neck. A breathy sigh escaped her mouth, and he finished it off with one of his own, closing his lips over hers.

 

~*~

 

Just as you are repeated in her ears as Lane’s firm lips toyed with hers. How had she walked away from this? They were perfect together. She slid her arms around his neck and drew him closer. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, a salve to her open wounds, as nourishing as the river after wandering the wilderness.

Lane pulled away. “Slow down, Rae.” His breaths were ragged, but he kept her in his arms. He rested his chin against her forehead and chuckled. “You don’t do that for all your fans, do you?”

She shook her head, not trusting words. She drank in the smell of his cologne, the very feel of him. Why had she denied herself this?

“I love you, Rae. Heaven help me, I try not to, but it’s useless.” He kissed the top of her head.

A charging army couldn’t have stopped her smile. “I love you, too,” she whispered. “I’ve missed you more than you’ll ever know.”

Lane’s arms tightened around her. “Now what?”

“I don’t know.”

They clung to each other.

She didn’t know how much time had passed before Lane lifted her chin and placed a feather-soft kiss on her lips. A shiver zinged down her spine. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him back with certainty and control.

Lane ended the kiss and rubbed his thumb along her jaw. His other hand buried into her hair, palming the back of her head. “You’re such a troublemaker.”

Raelynn laughed.

“We better go before we waste the whole day doing this.”

After one more kiss that turned her legs numb, Lane wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her through the bridge. With each step, that persistent melody played in her mind, this time joined by lyrics. Creativity—and passion—consumed her like a raging fire. It had been so long…

They stepped from the shadows of the covered bridge into the blinding whiteness. A robin landed on a nearby tree branch and tweeted a tune. Perfect. In this moment, her life felt right. She snuggled deeper under Lane’s arm, wanting to stay there forever.

He pulled her closer. “Got plans for dinner?”

“No.”

“What am I gonna eat then?”

She elbowed his side. “Whatever you cook.”

He groaned. “All right. Come over around five and I’ll see what I can do.”

“It’s a date.”

In the meantime, she had a song to write.