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RACHEL WAS A MESS AND she knew it. Her mind was scattered and her actions were confusing.
Alex lay sleeping upstairs and Daphne had decided to stay with Eloisa and Thomas. She was distraught about her brother but didn't want to be in the way. Rachel would have preferred having company to distract her, but she understood why Daphne might not want to stay home. Alex might wake up and Rachel didn't want him to be alone, so she had no choice but to stay.
Alex had been staying in the bedroom but was threatening to leave. The doctor said his leg was healing well but that he still needed to keep off of it. Rachel found it increasingly difficult to force him to stay there. She brought him his meals and often found him trying to get out of bed. She had to resort to hiding his trousers.
As he lay down for a nap, or, more accurately, he fell asleep against his will, Rachel decided to get out of the house for a little while. She just wanted to be out in the sunshine, away from his grumpy attitude. A quick note to Daphne and she went to meet her sister-in-law for some time in the park.
Rachel had wanted to go for a walk through Hyde Park for some time. She had heard many good things about it and wanted to see it for once. Rachel was in awe of the size and loveliness of it. She was even more in awe of the people she saw there. It felt as if the elite of London had all turned out in their best walking gowns and suits to walk around and be seen. Rachel tried not to be caught looking as she saw some of the fancy clothing people were wearing. She wore a navy blue day gown with only ruffles around the collar of her jacket and a simple braid in hair. Compared to others she saw, she felt quite plain.
Rachel walked through the park on the main path. She could have gone off to explore the smaller walkways, but she didn't want to get lost. She would feel terrible if she was gone too long. Soon she saw Daphne waiving and approaching her quickly.
"I'm so glad you decided to get out for a bit. I know my brother has been so difficult." Daphne was flushed from walking so fast, but Rachel wondered of some of that was her own emotions. "I would help you more in taking care of him but he insists that I continue to go out and enjoy the season as much as possible."
"Your brother worries about your happiness a great deal."
"I know. He feels guilty about me not getting to come to London sooner. He feels like he took that from me."
"Perfectly natural, given the circumstances. He wants to make it up to you."
"Without asking me what I want?"
That gave Rachel pause.
"Are you saying you don't want to be here?"
Daphne sighed. "I want to be here, but not the way my brother thinks."
Rachel saw an empty bench nearby and decided they might be able to discuss it better if they were sitting. Daphne had chosen a straw hat with a wide brim and a ribbon that matched her gown. The hat protected her fair skin from the sun, while Rachel had nothing to worry about in that regard. She had her mother's Spanish complexion.
"Now, tell me what you mean by that." Rachel tried to sound as soothing as she could.
"I enjoy London but not the balls and parties. At least not the part where I am supposed to attract men in hopes of finding a suitor. Talking to all those men makes me nervous."
"Why?"
Aside from her difficult beginning, Daphne had become a small success in society. There were even a few gentlemen that Rachel suspected were quite taken with her. Apparently, Daphne was not as taken with them.
"I feel like they are watching me too closely. Like they are looking for my mistakes. It's the same way I felt when I was with my aunt."
The way her eyes were imploring Rachel for help, it was clear that she felt strongly about what she was saying. Rachel wasn’t familiar with that particular feeling, but she knew how it felt to be uncomfortable in a new crowd. Perhaps she could offer to help Daphne with her situation, like a good sister would.
"The season is almost over. I imagine we can remove a few of those balls from your schedule. Not all of them, that might give it away to your brother and we don't want to upset him, but we can keep it to a small number. That way you can spend less time under the scrutiny." Daphne's face brightened. "In the meantime, what do you enjoy doing in the city? We might be able to find more time for those activities."
It was amazing to see such a change in Daphne's mood. She was talking quickly, and with an abundance of excitement. She talked about the museums and exhibits she wanted to see. Apparently, she was looking forward to quite a few academic pursuits. Especially those surrounding books. Rachel wondered if her sister-in-law was a bluestocking in disguise. Daphne had become so animated that Rachel decided they shouldn't stay still any longer, and they began to walk again. She tried to keep up with what Daphne was saying, but it was difficult. Rachel couldn’t help but become distracted by the people around them in the park. She began to let her gaze move across the grass while Daphne continued to talk.
As they walked through the park, Rachel began to have the strangest sensation of being watched. It was a feeling she had gotten good at recognizing when she worked at the club. Having a keen sense of those around her was key to staying safe when she was surrounded by swindlers and thieves. Now she was amid the upper class of London society and yet she had that same feeling that made her nerves fizzle.
Without letting Daphne know there was something wrong, Rachel tried to look around for the person who was watching her. No one was obviously staring, but she knew they were there. Even as they left the park in search of a sweet ice, she knew they were being followed. She didn't want to alert Daphne, but Rachel knew how to stay on alert.
"Ladies." A strong male voice interrupted them as they sat outside the shop to enjoy their ices. "Would you be able to give me directions to Newport's Tailor shop? I haven't been in London for years and it seems I don't know how to get around now."
Rachel found the man speaking to them was handsome and very well groomed. He had dark brown hair, neatly trimmed under a flawless bowler hat. He wore a simple brown suit, but his pocket square was a dark blue that matched his eyes and was decorated with a snake wrapped around the letter M. The smile he wore was friendly and his posture was not threatening, but Rachel felt she should be weary of him. Something about the way he looked at her made her uneasy.
"You were walking in the right direction." Daphne pointed down the road. "You just need to turn left on the next street. You won't be able to miss it."
"I'm very grateful for the help. I'm Marcus Hatwell."
He extended his hand, and both ladies shook it. Something about the name struck a chord with Rachel. She had heard the name Marcus before, but she couldn't remember where. He wasn't a regular at the club; she never forgot a face. They had never been introduced before. Yet, something about him was familiar and she couldn't recall how. Daphne started to give him their names, but Rachel cut her off. She didn’t want him to know too much about them if he was unknown to them.
"Where have you arrived from?” Rachel asked, ignoring how rude she was being.
"America. New York, specifically. I grew up in London but went there to make my fortune."
"That was very clever of you. Why return now?"
"London is my home, and I felt it was time to return to start my family." He smiled at them each in turn. "Find the right woman and make a home."
Daphne was blushing from his flirtation but Rachel was suspicious of it.
"Then perhaps we will see you at one of the events in town. We attend only the most exclusive parties."
She could see from the way his eyes narrowed that he understood the insult buried in her comment.
"Of course, I didn't mean to interrupt your day. May Lady Lucky bring us together again."
That was an unusual turn of phrase that Rachel had heard somewhere before. The man tipped his hat to them and continued walking down the street in the direction of the shop. Rachel watched him as long as she could to be sure he was gone. Once he was out of sight she felt relieved.
"I wonder what Alex will say when we tell him we met someone today.” Daphne said as she continued to eat her ice. "That man seemed very nice, if a bit too bold. Who talks to complete strangers like that?"
The mention of Alex was what she needed to remember where she had heard that phrase about Lady Luck. Alex had used it, and said he learned it from the man who had swindled him out of his money. Still, he had given his name as Hatwell, and not Deckland. She was going to have to make sure she was right before broaching the subject with Alex. No need to upset him if she was wrong.
"We probably shouldn't tell him about it." Rachel said. "We wouldn't want him to think we aren't careful when we are out on our own. Then he might try to keep us under lock and key."
Daphne nodded vigorously. The last thing a young girl wanted was to lose the little bit of freedom she had. Rachel was sure that Daphne wouldn't say a word of it to her brother now.
With so much on her mind, Rachel was anxious to return home and look for anything that might help her decide if that really was Deckland they met.
As they arrived home, Daphne said she was going to go upstairs to her room and read. They had bought a few new books for her at a shop, and she seemed more excited by them than she had about any event she had attended. Rachel was grateful that she would have privacy while she conducted a search of Alex’s study. If there was any kind of paperwork about Deckland, that would be the room it was hiding in.
It felt strange being in there alone. The room still held the masculine scent of Alex, leather and ink. He had one full wall of bookshelves, and she wondered if he had read them all. Perhaps he had his sister's love of literature. Rachel had never thought to ask. Although Rachel would enjoy the occasional novel or two, reading wasn't something she spent much time doing.
She suspected he kept his most important paperwork in the desk, which sat in the back of the room. It was larger than her father's but well kept. There were no stacks of papers on top of it, just a few sheets of blank paper and a pen and ink set. The dark wood had been polished to a high shine, so much that she could almost see her reflection in the top of it.
There were three drawers in his desk. She already knew what was in the top drawer. She almost snuck in a quick sip of brandy but thought better of it. The bottom drawer held old estate papers belonging to properties he no longer owned. She could see from the sales receipts they had been gone for years, yet he still held the papers on them. She couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been to let those places go.
The middle drawer was the one that he kept locked. No doubt that would be where he kept the most important things, including the information on his former partner. Luckily, Rachel had learned to pick a lock while she was living in the club. There were times when a customer would get angry and lock one of the girls in a room. Rather than wait for her father, she would just pick the lock to let the girl out. She used those skills now to get into that middle drawer.
She pulled out the top few pieces of paper, finding nothing that would link to Deckland or give away his identity. Then she saw a stack of letters, tied together with a ribbon. The letters had been opened but she could still see the imprint of the seal on the wax. It matched the emblem he had been wearing on his pocket square. There was no mistaking that insignia.
"Looking for something specific or just poking around in general?"
Rachel hadn't heard Alex come into the room, but there he was, standing on the other side of the desk, leaning heavily on the cane Thomas had brought him. His face was red, and she could see sweat gathering on his forehead. It must have been very difficult for him to get down those stairs on his own. She rushed to help him into a chair and put his leg up on a second one. That relieved the pain enough that he exhaled a deep breath.
"What are you doing out of bed?" she asked sharply. "The doctor said you are not to start using that cane for at least another week."
"Then why did you leave it within reach?"
"So that you would be ready when the time came. I should have hidden it from you the day Thomas brought it over."
"I hope you are better at hiding things than you are at finding things. I watched you riffle through my belongings for at least twenty minutes before your face lit up. What exactly was it you were wanting?"
He reached for the letters she was holding, but she pulled them back at the last minute. This wasn’t the time to tell him his enemy had returned. Not if she wanted him to go back to resting.
"Nothing in particular, I just wanted to know more about you." Rachel left him in his seat to start putting things back in their place in his desk.
"By searching my property?"
"I looked through some papers, that's hardly a search."
"It is if you had to pick a lock to get to it."
That made her blush, and she turned so he couldn't see her embarrassment. "Married people shouldn't have any secrets."
"Then I suppose you have told me everything about yourself?"
"I haven't hidden anything."
"That's not the same."
Rachel was aware that she had been careful about the things she had told Alex, avoiding the painful memories of her mother and the more embarrassing stories about living in the club. Not because she wanted to keep secrets, but in order to protect herself. If he knew everything, he might try to use that against her in their wager. It was best to keep him as her enemy, and at a distance.
Rachel took a moment to gather her thoughts before she spoke. "Tell me about Deckland."
His face tightened, and she could see the darkness capturing his eyes. The humor was gone and now he looked angry.
"I don't like to talk about that. You know what you need to about it."
"I never heard any kind of description. What did he look like?"
"Why do you want to know that?"
"He got you to trust him, so he must not have looked like a villain. I'm trying to understand how he got close enough to gain your trust."
"He was a wolf in an expensive suit." Alex's tone was raw and painful to listen to. "I guess I was impressed by the way he flashed money around. I met him at a gambling table where he lost a substantial sum and didn't even blink."
"He fooled you."
"Yes. He convinced me that he knew of a business venture that no one else knew about. That if I invested with him, I could be earning that kind of return on it. I wanted to rich and successful like him, so I gave him everything I had and then some. Even took a line of credit on my properties."
"He made you believe you could make a fortune."
"I already had a fortune. I just wanted more." Alex flinched at the memory. "That's what cost my family so much. I was greedy."
Rachel could see that he was hurting and knew nothing to say to make it better. She did the only thing she could, quickly going to him and wrapping him in her arms. He let her hold him, stroking her hands down his back for a few minutes. He embraced her tightly, breathing against the crook of her neck.
"We have all wanted things more than what’s good for us." she said.
"I should have been happy with what I had. I had more than enough."
"Sometimes we don't realize that until after it's gone."
"Has this satisfied your curiosity?"
Rachel had already gotten what she needed from the letters, but knowing how Alex felt made it easier for her to decide not to tell him about Deckland. Upsetting him wouldn’t help him with his healing process.
"Yes. I think we should get you back upstairs and into bed."
"Will you join me?"
"Only if you promise to be good."
"I promise to be satisfying."