PET

Shifting Storm Series Book 1

Sapphire Winters

About Pet

After her mother is diagnosed with cancer, Jade is desperate for money and fast. When her best friend tells her about a club that will pay more than she can imagine, Jade jumps at the chance. She knows there has to be more to it, but she doesn’t have a choice.

In the shadows of the club, anyone can be anything and do anything with anyone. Jade must suppress her shifter ability in order to participate. She hasn’t been summoned by a client - until Callum Mather.

But he doesn’t just want one night with her. He wants her completely.

After buying out her contract and taking her home, he introduces her to a world of pleasure through pain. A world where she can be free to be her - as long as she doesn’t fall in love.

It’s too bad that Jade has never been one for following the rules. The only thing she follows is her heart.

Chapter 1

The contract stared up at me, almost mocking my sudden hesitation. This was what I wanted, wasn’t it?

I shifted in the cushy red seat.

No.

This wasn’t what I wanted. It was what I needed. I couldn’t ask myself what I wanted, not anymore. Not when Mom needed life-saving treatment and my part-time job at FroYo wasn’t going to cut it. I needed lots of money quickly, and this was the only option I had right now.

I picked up the fancy felt pen that Ben Collins left next to the thin contract. I already read it, even after he left to give me time to consider the offer. I was wasting time. If he came back in here and it still wasn’t signed, he wouldn’t waste his time. Other shifters would kill to even have the opportunity to interview for this position, let alone get an offer. I wished I didn’t need this job as much as I did. Yet, here I was, in an empty office, staring at a small stack of papers and one blank line waiting for my signature.

“What are you waiting for, Kinickey?” I muttered to myself. “Janet got you an in. They are offering you everything you need. Why aren’t you signing your name on the line?”

I started to tap my foot against the floor, ignoring the loud ticking of the wall clock hanging just to my right.

I knew why I was hesitating. By signing this line, I would essentially be prostituting myself for other shifters. They would come to me to fulfill their needs – the majority of which more colorful than just typical vanilla. I had had sex before, but only once and that had been in high school with my boyfriend at the time. I barely remembered it. Here, I was expected to do things I had never experienced, let alone heard of. What if I was bad at it? What if I got a bunch of complaints and they fired me?

I shook my head at the thought. It was a good possibility. I could pick Janet’s brain all day about what to do and how to please, but at the end of the day, I would be the pet.

Just thinking of the name made me bristle. Pet. Like I was something to be controlled.

That’s the whole point, a voice reminded me. You’re supposed to be a submissive, Kin. You’re supposed to be docile and subservient. That is literally your job.

I started twisting the pen between my fingers. Could I actually be a submissive and make it work? I had to. Besides this, I had no other options. My mom was going to die unless I could get together enough money to pay for her treatment. I was her only hope.

Granted, my mom would probably die if she knew what I was about to do in order to pay for her treatment, but luckily, she didn’t have to know and I wasn’t going to go out of my way to tell her.

It was difficult being a shifter in a world of humans. Certain diseases weren’t treatable unless one had the money, and unfortunately, we didn’t have the money. After Dad died, our pack all but rejected us and my mother was left to care for me. Even her family turned their back on her because the pack always came first.

When she came down with this particular string of cancer, it was like someone had signed her death warrant. Until we learned about a shifter physician who was doing trials with specific medication in hopes to cure – or at least temper the symptoms – the disease. Unfortunately for us, the cost of the drug was extremely high and Mom was resigned to her fate.

Every day, she got worse. She started talking nonsense about life in general, trying to give me advice on love and happiness. I just wanted to talk to my mom about boys and how much I hated my job, not my purpose in life. I didn’t want to think about death, especially her death. She was all I had left in this world. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing her.

I started twisting the top of the pen, bouncing my knee up and down.

Guilt pooled through my stomach. I should have already signed the contract. This should already be taken care of because Mom was more important than anything else, and two years as a pet – tied to this nightclub - was a blip in what would be her long life if we got her the appropriate medicine – and fast.

And yet, even now, I hesitated. Ben Collins was a human. It felt strange to work for a human when this business hired shifters and catered to them, as though he was exploiting them. Plus, having read the contract, there was something weird about being required to take a weekly serum that prevented me from shifting. I didn’t quite understand it, but I didn’t want to bring it up to him. Either I was in this completely, or I wasn’t.

I let out a sigh and moved the pen to the line.

Janet was here, wasn’t she? She was making bank, and if it was bad – really, really bad – should would have told me, wouldn’t she?

Plus, at the end of the day, this was for Mom. This wasn’t about me. Having sex with shifters for two years of my life, working for a human who might be exploiting shifters, was something I could handle, as long as Mom was alive, right?

I hated that I had to question it. My vision blurred with tears and I blinked them away.

“Get a grip,” I repeated under my breath. I shook my head with disgust. Why was I so weak? Why was I so hesitant? My mom gave up everything so I could have a somewhat normal life, and now, I was here, with an opportunity lots of girls would kill for, and I’m crying about it like a child.

If only my father could see me now.

Through blurred tears, I pressed the pen to the paper. My hand did not want to move, but I forced myself to sign my name. When I finally finished, it took everything in me not to throw the pen across the room. I felt like I was betraying myself and everything I stood for. And yet, at the same time, it felt as though I was finally able to do something about the current situation my mom was in, like I could actually be of some use.

As though he knew what had just happened, Ben came back into the room, a knowing grin on his face.

“How is everything?” he asked. “Are you sure I can’t get you a glass of water?” His eyes dropped to the contract and his grin widened. “Perhaps champagne would be more appropriate. Congratulations, Ms. Kinickey. Or, should I say, congratulations, pet?”

I suppressed another shudder and clenched my teeth together to keep myself from physically gagging. Pet. It was so demoralizing, especially as a shifter. Shifters were proud of their freedom, of their wild nature they were able to control. It set us apart from being mere wolves who acted only on instinct and id. And yet, this was what I had been reduced to. I was a pet, something to control. Something to dominate.

“Let me give you a quick tour of the place,” he said after filing my contract away and standing upright. Now that I looked at him, he wasn’t tall, considering, nor was he bulky. He was an average guy with an average height and an average build. He wasn’t ugly but he wasn’t good looking, and I didn’t think he was particularly smart, either. How this man was the brainchild behind the success of this club, I didn’t know. But now that he was my boss for the next two years, I couldn’t exactly refuse him.

He led me through the club, showing me where I would be, what I would be doing, and when. The process was not as organic as I expected it to be, which was strange. Janet made it seem like all I had to do was dress in revealing clothing with a red collar around my neck – distinguishing myself as a pet – and when someone wanted me, go into one of the many rooms and do whatever my client told me to do. Apparently, there was a formula to this whole thing, something Ben clearly took pride in, judging by how gleeful he sounded as he explained everything.

Ben pointed out the bar – I wasn’t allowed to drink on the job, and when a client asked to buy me one, I was to ask for a Raspberry Bone, which was a non-alcoholic beverage and the most expensive thing we served. This way, I wouldn’t be filled with alcohol, I could stroke the client’s ego by accepting the drink, and the club would make money.

There were lots of rules I was expected to follow, dialogue I was fed to respond to certain inquiries. I almost wished I had a notebook so I could jot down everything I was supposed to do. In fact, by the time we finished the tour, I was overwhelmed.

“Remember,” Ben said over his shoulder. I could barely hear him over the loud music. My eyes slowly went up to the scantily-clad dancers above. I didn’t feel comfortable staring at them, and yet, I couldn’t help it. There was such a strong surge of sexuality between them all. It wasn’t something I was used to and yet, I was drawn in by them. Not because I was attracted to them – even though they were beautiful – but because they had a power I didn’t think someone like me could possess. “...drinks at the bar. No alcohol when you’re on the clock.”

I ripped my eyes away from the dancers and when I readjusted them to in front of me so I wouldn’t trip over something, I found myself staring at the most beautiful man – shifter – I had ever laid eyes on. Tall, broad-shouldered, corded muscle even underneath the name-brand suit he wore. His golden-brown hair was combed from his face, every lock perfectly in place. His hooded brown eyes flickered across the dance floor, seemingly indifferent to the beautiful women in front of him, the beautiful women dancing overhead. It almost seemed as though he didn’t want to be here, and yet, he had to want to or else why was he here in the first place?

“Expect a couple of weeks where you don’t get clients.” Ben’s voice brought me back to reality but I still did not look away from the stranger. “You’re still new and everyone will be sizing you up and seeing how you fit in. I would call it a hazing process but without the hazing.”

At that moment, I crashed into someone, forcing me to look away from the shifter and brace myself.

Ben’s laughter tickled all of the wrong nerves on my body, and this time, I couldn’t suppress a shudder if I wanted to. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice it. He helped right me, one hand on the small of my back, one on my wrist. It took everything in me not to pull myself away from him. His hands lingered for a moment longer than was necessary, but he dropped his hands and stepped back, giving me an appropriate amount of space to recover. When he did, I felt like I could breathe again.

“I know,” he said, nodding his head. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring of keys. “It can be distracting. There’s so much going on here.”

I cleared my throat and did a cursory glance over my shoulder. I didn’t mean to look back at the gorgeous stranger, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed one last look. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was my way of trying to get through this shitty situation, like he could be my light at the end of the tunnel, someone to fantasize about when I needed.

I wasn’t expecting to find him staring at me, an inscrutable look on his chiseled face. Immediately, my entire face turned red and I looked away, like I was some kind of teenage girl walking past a member of my favorite boy band.

I took a breath and refocused on Ben. It was barely my first night and already I had made myself look like a jackass. Surely things could only get better from here.

Chapter 2

“Come on, Jade, it’s your turn.”

I shuddered at the sound of Ben’s voice but I couldn’t let him know it. I looked over my shoulder and saw him leaning in the doorframe of our dressing room. Each girl had their own mirror, and even though I had only been here a week, I had already made a home for myself in my assigned placement.

“Don’t make this any more difficult than it needs to be,” he continued in his lazy drawl.

I stood up so he wouldn’t think I was wasting his time, but I was. As much as I appreciated the opportunity to make the money I was making, I didn’t like everything that went into my job. Dancing on display, meeting strange shifters, playing into their desire was something I got used to quickly. The sex was something that was more difficult to get used to and I didn’t know if I was doing it correctly, but so far, no one had made a complaint against me from what I knew.

But this part? The serum? That irked me even more than the sex. At least I got paid for the sex. At least I had rights and I had protection if anything ever got out of hand. But I couldn’t refuse the serum. It was spelled out in my contract and something Ben wouldn’t budge on.

“There’s a good girl,” he said with a slimy grin as I walked past him. I ignored it. How could I have ever thought he was an intelligent sophisticated business man? He was a sleazeball human who wanted to take advantage of creating a sex business featuring shifters and catering to billionaires. And yet, I didn’t feel like I had a right to complain. In the week I had been here, I was able to cover my mother’s first treatment with money left over.

I followed him back to his office. The crimson colored lights were the only things keeping us from being in total darkness. There were a few girls winding down from their shifts, still dancing in cages. I winked up at Janet, but I didn’t think she saw me. She looked tired and I couldn’t blame her. She had been dancing for nearly four hours.

I could feel a couple of lingering gazes on me as we made our way through the crowd. Even though I had been here a week, I still wasn’t used to the blatant hunger the clientele had for us pets, and I still tried to avoid noticing it if I could. Some of the more experienced pets said we should use their desire against them, manipulating them into even more money. I didn’t know how to go about doing this, but they seemed to imply I would learn the longer I was here.

The problem was, I didn’t want to be here for very long in the first place. The contract clearly stated I had two years. In that time, I planned to make more than enough money to cover my mother’s cancer treatment and then leave. I did not plan on re-upping. I didn’t care that it was easy money. I didn’t care that I barely had to work. All I cared about my mom – and, the more I continued to work here, my freedom.

Ben opened the door for me and let me walk in first. At first, I thought he was being chivalrous. However, as I got used to him leading me to and from his office for a variety of reasons – signing paperwork, check-ins, random testing to ensure the serum was properly administered and worked – I began to recognize that this was his way of checking me out from behind without being obviously sleazy about it. His eyes trailed down my back and I suppressed a shudder. I learned from Janet early on to obey but not to appear weak. He fed on insecurity and the last thing I wanted from Ben was him thinking he had the ability to feed on me.

When I was inside, he closed the door and locked it while I took a seat in the same chair I signed my freedom away. I should be used to sitting here by now but I wasn’t. It was hard against my skin, making it impossible to ever get fully comfortable. I wondered if he wanted it that way or if it was just some kind of twisted coincidence. Regardless, I refused to let it show on my face how much discomfort the chair brought me. Instead, I crossed one leg over the other and placed a look of indifference on my face.

“I know this isn’t the most pleasant part of the job,” Ben started as he sat in his chair and opened the last drawer on his desk.

I couldn’t hold back a snort and his gaze turned sharp. I smothered it up with fake coughs, which, thankfully, he seemed to buy. He tilted his head down and grabbed a syringe as well as carefully labeled vials.

He thought the injections were unpleasant? They were, surely, but selling my body to have sex with strangers wasn’t exactly awesome. Especially the type of sex these shifters wanted. It wasn’t vanilla – not that I expected it to be – but I didn’t think I would be expected to be so... docile. All the male shifters I knew – and granted, there weren’t that many of them – preferred to have a strong, independent partner who could hold her own. That was how my mother raised me to be as well.

But these men wanted no eye contact, wanted to be referred to as sir or master or alpha, wanted me to do whatever they asked without question.

Some, even, wanted to inflict pain on me if I disobeyed. I learned very quickly not to disobey.

I also learned that some dark, twisted part of me liked being punished.

But only with him.

At least, that was what I fantasized about. Callum Mather visited the club every Friday night, from midnight until two in the morning. Every other shifter – I refused to refer to my colleagues as pets – whispered amongst themselves when he was around because he was wealthy, stunning, and mysterious. As far as I knew – and that was only as much as Janet knew – he had yet to actually select a pet. Which meant he was either here to recruit for business associates or he was waiting to meet the right shifter.

I hadn’t been with anyone since starting. Not physically. I’d been hit on, touched, ordered, and purchased, but sex had yet to be on the menu. Janet informed me that this was completely normal. Shifters were trying to figure her out before they made a huge purchase. Somehow, I earned enough money for the first round of my mother’s treatment by mere interaction and bringing in money for the bar. I knew it couldn’t last. My new-girl novelty was going to wear off soon enough.

“Which arm?”

I turned in the chair and extended out my right arm. I placed it on the elbow holder – a foam resting place to help position my arm and keep it comfortable. Ben put on his spectacles, making him look much older than he was, and snapped on some latex gloves. Then, he began touching the veins in my arms before securing a medical rubber band around my upper arm to draw the veins out even more.

At this point, my eyes flickered over to the wall in front of me. I was never a fan of shots, even with thin needles, even when the injections lasted maybe ten seconds.

“I always forget you’re a leftie, like me.”

I pressed my lips together. I didn’t want to think I was like Ben in any way. As much as I detested what he did to shifters – especially knowing he was a mere human – I had to respect the fact that he was a smart businessman. On top of that, he gave me an opportunity I needed to help my mother – and it was already helping.

I couldn’t hate the guy. But he still gave me the creeps.

“All right,” he continued. I heard ripping of plastic and I knew he had removed the syringe from its container and was now inserting the serum into it. “I know you’re not a fan of shots. Do you want to talk about something to distract yourself?”

“Who is Callum Mather?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. My entire face instantly felt like it was on fire, and I was glad I was looking at the wall in front of me rather than at Ben.

“Ah, so I see you’ve noticed him as well,” Ben said. He wiped a cool, damp towel over my veins – some kind of disinfectant that would make sure I wouldn’t get some kind of infection. “You pets been gossiping, hmm?”

I clenched my jaw and ignored his reference of me as a pet. It wasn’t as though I thought I was better than the others, but I didn’t like reducing myself to something so meaningless.

“Yes, I have heard he hasn’t made a selection yet,” Ben continued. Without warning, he slid the needle into my vein. I pressed my lips together but the needle barely even pinched. I didn’t know why I constantly overdramatized how much it was going to hurt. Every single time I was wrong. It was nothing. “In terms of pets, I mean. I know you’ve only been here for a week, but I’m sure you’ve noticed particular patterns amongst male shifters, haven’t you?”

I tilted my head towards Ben, intrigued by where this conversation might go. I didn’t know much about Ben and assumed he was an astute businessman – and he was. But he majored in statistics and mathematics, with a minor in economics. At least, that was what Stefanie told me on my second night here. Calling the guy smart was an understatement, it would seem. As such, he could detect patterns or preferences among his clients and then implement those things in order to increase profits. As much as I hated complimenting him, I couldn’t help but admire what he was doing. The guy deserved his money – if only he were doing it in another field that didn’t exploit shifters.

“You mean, he hasn’t selected a pet?” I forced myself to use the word, hoping it might persuade him to be more forthcoming.

“Not yet.” Ben slid the needle out of my arm while simultaneously placed a cotton ball on the slight hole. He immediately discarded the syringe in a special wastebasket before grabbing thick medical tape and wrapping it around the cotton ball. “But he will. They always do.”

“Why do you think he hasn’t claimed one of us?” I asked. I didn’t want to be too curious because Ben might set his mind on me and why I cared so much, but I couldn’t stop the questions from coming out if I tried.

“Remember, you need to stay here a few minutes so I can ensure the serum doesn’t give you an adverse effects,” he said, carefully organizing his supplies before putting them away in his drawer one by one. “I know you’ve taken it one time before but I like to make sure my employees are healthy.”

If he didn’t administer the serum at all, we would probably all be healthy, but I didn’t tell him that. Instead, I leaned back in the chair.

“He’s particular,” Ben explained. “The important ones always are. And by important, I mean affluent. I’m sure he sees girls who all look the same, treat him the same, do the same things. It’s why he’s here. He’s looking for something different. And if one of my pets can get him, they get a big bonus.”

I arched a brow at that. I highly doubted I would ensnare Callum Mather, but the thought of him and the check was enough to get me to try.

Chapter 3

Dancing wasn’t something I had ever been particularly good at. However, it was a lot easier to let my inhibitions go when I was in a makeshift cage, dancing to pop music wearing next to nothing. I wasn’t Jade Kinickey anymore. I was simply Avery, my alter ego who was cool, sexy, and who could move to the beat of the thumping music.

It was into my second week and I had yet to be brought back down the hall and into one of the Transparent Rooms. I was grateful, but I was still on probation, which meant I had to get at least a couple of clients in the next couple of weeks or else they would release me from my contract. I had hoped I would be able to get away with paying for my mother’s treatments in the four weeks my probation lasted so I wouldn’t actually have to participate in having sex, but I realized I wouldn’t be able to make enough, no matter how many drinks they bought me.

“Jade!”

Janet’s voice cut through the music and I looked over at the platform by the entrance of the cage. She had a grin on her face that looked both gleeful and amused. I cocked my head to the side, furrowing my brow, but continued to dance. Janet wasn’t even assigned to take over for me when my shift was finished, and if my timing was correct, I had another hour here before I took my break and then headed into the bar area.

“Yes?” I asked. I hoped she couldn’t tell how out of breath I was. Initially, I thought dancing would be the easy part of the job – even if I wasn’t good at it – but the stamina to get through four hours of dancing was a lot. And I did not have it, at least, starting off.

“You’ve been called upon,” she said.

This caused me to freeze, even though it wasn’t allowed. As long as I was in the cage, I had to keep moving. For every half hour, I got a five minute break where I got to rehydrate and rest my feet. But once those five minutes were over, I was expected to head back into the cage and dance for another thirty minutes straight.

“Come on.” She tilted her head in the direction of the stairs. “I’ll take you to him. He specifically requested you.”

“The cage...?” I let my voice trail off as I headed towards her.

“Cherry is coming right now to replace you. Come on.”

I wanted to ask her so many more questions, but they died on the tip of my tongue. I would find out what I was being seen for soon enough. Instead, I swallowed, trying to calm my still-racing heart. I had been dancing for a good hour before Janet showed up, and despite my small breaks, it was difficult to get my body to calm down so soon after stopping.

I clutched the railing as we stepped down the staircase. My high heels still weren’t something I felt comfortable walking in, and every step I took, I wobbled slightly. The last thing I needed to do was trip or twist my ankle. I highly doubted anyone would select a girl in a short skirt and a thick cast. Didn’t scream sexy.

We weaved through people at the bar. So many men stopped what they were saying so they could turn to watch Janet pass through. Janet had this innate sense of sensuality that one couldn’t teach. It was natural and revealed itself in every step she took, every gesture she made, every word she spoke. I used to envy her for it but now, I could appreciate we all had our strengths and our flaws.

Some men also looked at me as we passed by. I never knew what to do when I caught someone staring at me. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to acknowledge their attention with a smile. I just knew every time I tried to be flirtatious, I did something awkward or clumsy that revealed my inexperience. For now, I didn’t have to respond to the lingering stares, something I was relieved about.

We cut past the bar and the dance floor and went down the hallway where The Rooms were.

I nearly stumbled over myself. “Janet?” I said.

She glanced over her shoulder at me but didn’t stop walking. “Yes?” she drawled.

“Are we going the right way?” I didn’t know why I was whispering. It wasn’t as though people could hear me when they were busy doing other things. “I mean, isn’t this where sex takes place?”

Janet started to laugh. “Oh my gosh, Jade,” she said. “I forgot how innocent you are. Yes, this is where our duties take place.”

“And someone wants me in one of these Rooms?” I looked around at the turquoise doors and the black walls. It looked like the design was both whimsical and forbidden. At least it wasn’t as cliché as red and black would have been.

“Apparently so.” She stopped in front of the last door and turned to face me. She placed her hands on my shoulders and gave them a reassuring squeeze. “This is the big time, Jade. You can do this. You are much more beautiful than you give yourself credit for, and you have this innocence that not a lot of us have. Use that to your advantage.” She winked and dropped her hands. “Good luck. Securing him is going to get you a fat paycheck.”

My brows went up. “J-Janet,” I whispered. “I don’t know – what do I do?”

She turned so she was walking backwards down the hall. “You’ve got this, Kinickie,” she said. “Have faith in yourself.”

Before I could say anything else, she disappeared, leaving me alone. I turned to call her back, but I knew that wouldn’t do me any good. What was I supposed to say? I couldn’t do this without her here with me? This was the whole job.

Instead, I turned and cleared my throat, staring at the door. I wasn’t sure if I should knock first or if maybe I needed to just go in, sweeping the room with a façade of confidence. What did the others do?

I should ask Janet the next time I saw her.

You have to do something, I chided myself internally. I took a breath and knocked. It might make me appear amateurish, but at least it wasn’t offensive. Maybe I would learn something as well.

Instead of waiting for an answer, I opened the door. Part of me was surprised to find the room unlocked. It was dim, filled with seductive shadows that slid across my skin, caressing me, tempting me. There was a couch with a coffee table filled with magazines I was sure had to be filled with sensual photographs. There was a bed just behind the couch, surrounded by transparent tapestries, the same color as the blue that decorated the hallway. I couldn’t hear any other noises on either side of where I was, which meant that either the rooms were unoccupied or the soundproof was solid. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter. Ben seemed serious about investing in his business, and I could not fault him for that, especially when he was doing a great job already. Whoever he put in charge of the atmosphere did a great job in setting the mood.

“Hello.”

I jumped. I shouldn’t have jumped. If anything, that made me seem juvenile. Someone was clearly in the room. Why else would Janet leave me here? And yet, I hadn’t expected anyone. Then again, I had been so lost in staring at the room that I barely even noticed a silhouette sitting calmly on the couch, his face surrounded by a haze of smoke.

How could I have missed him before?

I cleared my throat, unsure what to do with my hands. My first instinct was to cross them over my chest, but that didn’t seem to read as sexy. I also wasn’t sure if I should join him on the couch or stay where I was. I was out of sorts. Thankfully, the dim lighting hid my red face because I was sure my embarrassed blush had taken over my skin.

“H-hi,” I managed to get out.

God, I sounded fifteen. I curled my fingers into fists to keep from smacking my forehead and rub my temples.

“You’re Jade.” He didn’t ask. Smoke surrounded each word that came out of his mouth.

My entire body warmed. I still couldn’t make him out clearly. I wasn’t sure if that helped things or if that made me more nervous. Was it possible it could do both?

“I am.” At least I made my voice sound more confident than I already was. “And you are?”

He set his arm holding whatever he was smoking – a cigarette, a cigar – on the arm of the couch, grey smoke still silhouetting his face. I began to see him more clearly – the outline of his taut body, the way he rested his ankle on his knee, the expensive suit he wore.

“Callum Mather.”

I started sputtering like a car.

“Are you all right?” He stood up and leaned over, putting his cigarette in the ashtray I hadn’t noticed on the coffee table.

“Uh, yeah.” I managed to control my coughing fit and straightened up. “I’m just, uh, allergic to cigarette smoke.”

I nearly smacked my forehead again. Seriously? Me, allergic to cigarette smoke? This was my one chance to possibly get Callum Mather and get that bonus, and I decide to try and distance myself as far from him as possible. Why would he want me when I was allergic to one of his vices? Why did he want me in the first place?

“Are you?” I heard a smile in his voice and I glanced back at him. His hands were now casually in his pockets and his eyes roamed over me. He was studying me intently, not in a lecherous way; rather, he seemed more curious about me than anything else.

“Um...” I let my voice trail off.

This was wrong. I didn’t think he really wanted me. He probably wanted someone else, someone more experienced. This must be a joke or a mistake. I really didn’t want to be either of those options. I didn’t want to waste my time here either if all he wanted to do was laugh at me.

“I’ve been watching you,” he said, sliding down gracefully on the couch. “You’re new, aren’t you?”

“I am,” I said.

He nodded once, twice. “I like you,” he declared. “You’re different.”

“Different?” That didn’t sound good.

“It’s a compliment,” he assured me, recognizing the trepidation in my voice. “I promise.”

I forced myself to smile along with him, still feeling awkward standing there, still unsure what to do with my hands.

“I’ll let you go back to work,” Callum said, reaching his arm out in a placating gesture. “I just wanted to meet you officially, just to make sure.”

Make sure what? I wanted to ask but wasn’t sure if I should. When Callum pulled out another cigarette, I turned and left the room. That was the strangest experience I had ever had with a guy. I worried that I completely failed at what I was expected to do. We should have had sex if I was successful, shouldn’t we?

I shook my head.

The whole encounter kept me up the rest of the night to the point where I was still consumed by it the next day. I shouldn’t have been surprised when Janet intercepted me at my designated dressing bureau and informed me Ben wanted to see me, but my heart began to thud hard against my chest.

Ben wanted to see me? Why? Did this have to do with the whole Callum Mather encounter?

Of course it does. What else could it be about?

Chapter 4

This couldn’t be good. What did Ben want me for?

I just got to work and I felt like I was getting sent to the principal’s office.

“Did he say why?” I asked in a low voice.

Janet shook her head, black tendrils of hair that carefully framed her face following her gentle movement.

“You know Ben,” she said as we weaved through flirting shifters and loud-laughing pets, trying to secure a payment for the night. “He keeps everything close to the vest. All I know is he said he wanted to see you the second you get here.”

I shifted with unease, missing a step. Did this have to do with what happened between me and Callum last night? I knew there was a bonus to get him, but I didn’t flirt and I didn’t even get him to buy me a drink. All we did was talk to each other. Maybe that was frowned upon. Maybe I was supposed to get something out of him, especially considering the fact that I spent my entire shift just talking to him. God, was he going to fire me? Release me from my contract? Technically, he could. I was still under probation. He could do whatever he wanted to me, really.

I took in a slow breath, raking my fingers through my hair and sidestepping nearby dancers. I racked my brain, trying to figure out if I said anything to offend Callum, and that was why I was meeting with Ben. Had Callum complained about me? Was he expecting me to be more forward? Less giggly? Or maybe Callum was one of those plants company’s hired to ensure that their employees were behaving appropriately. I wouldn’t put it past Ben to do that. And Callum never seemed to fit in with this atmosphere.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I nearly bumped into Janet, who had stopped just before Ben’s office door.

“Good luck,” she whispered, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze, before disappearing back into the crowd.

I sucked in a breath. I tried not to think about the fact that I desperately needed this job and I had an upcoming payment due next Monday for Mom’s second round of treatment. Instead, I rolled my shoulders back and flicked my wrists, attempting to get the jitters out of my body. Whatever Ben wanted to say couldn’t be that bad. And if he did fire me? Well, I could try looking at the bright side of everything – I didn’t have to have sex to pay for the first round of medicine and I had five days to piece the second payment together.

I knocked on the door and Ben immediately called me in. I opened the door and slowly stepped inside. My mouth dropped open when I saw that Ben wasn’t alone. Callum Mather sat across from him, ankle resting on knee, completely indifferent to whatever was going on between them.

“Ah, Ms. Kinickie.” Ben stood up, reaching out his arm and sweeping it over to the empty seat next to Callum. “Thank you for coming. Please sit down. We have a lot to discuss.”

I cleared my throat and took a seat as Ben slid back into his own. Callum had yet to look over at me and I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad one. Perspiration began to litter my palms and I placed them on my bare thighs. My heart hammered against my chest. From the corner of my eye, I saw Callum cock his head in my direction. I wondered if he could hear me and then immediately dismissed the thought. He wasn’t a shifter – as far as I knew. Then again, my senses were being dulled thanks to the weekly serum that Ben gave me. I wasn’t as sharp, as quick, as I used to be.

“S-sure,” I said before biting my bottom lip. I didn’t typically stutter and I hated that my nerves were on full display here that I couldn’t help but stumble over my words. “Is everything okay?”

Ben flipped open a folder and I saw a familiar stack of papers. Even though it was upside down in my eyeline, I saw the calligraphy, the little flourish. It was my contract.

Shit.

Why was my contract relevant. What did that mean? Why was it out? Could a client like Callum Mather read it? Was it his business?

“Oh yes, yes.” Ben’s voice cut through all the questions stumbling over in my mind.

I snapped my eyes up and locked them with Ben’s. His face seemed calm, a smile on his face. He appeared... fine. I wasn’t sure happy was the right word but he didn’t seem angry. I wished I could do a study of Callum to see how he was reacting. Then again, I highly doubted his face would give anything away. He had been cryptic at best last night. It was difficult to get a read on him. Then again, my senses had dulled.

“Actually, much better than I expected,” He said, resting his forearms on the surface of the desk and lacing his fingers together. “Mr. Mather here has made an interesting proposal.”

“Oh?” My voice cracked. I didn’t think I could get it that high, to be honest. I now turned my head to look at Callum, only to find his steely eyes on me. I was surprised by this. His gaze was burning and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

“Yes, yes.” Ben nodded his head. “Now, you’ve been here a little less than two weeks, which means, technically, you’re still on probation.”

I nodded. I held my breath. Discussing probation, especially in front of a client, wasn’t a good thing, was it? How could it be? Probation wasn’t something anyone outside of the employee circle knew about.

“And if you broke your probation, you would be fired.” Ben looked down at my contract, his eyes skimming the text. I wasn’t sure why. He knew what was in there. He wrote the thing himself. What was he trying to find? Did he want to quote something to me that I didn’t understand? I read the contract. It was pretty straight forward. Maybe I didn’t agree with everything in there, but I signed it, knowing what I was getting myself into. “And if not, you’d be hired as a pet for the next eighteen months, which means your contract is a twenty-four month contract, correct?”

“Uh, yes.” My hands clasped the arms of the chair rather than my thighs. They were starting to sweat more and as I grabbed the wood, it was slick in my palms.

Ben nodded, but his eyes remained focused on the contract. He flipped it to the next page, and then the next one.

“This looks all good,” he said, his eyes shifting to Callum Mather.

I furrowed my brow before smoothing out my confused wrinkles. The last thing I wanted was to show my emotions to these two men, even though I had no idea what I was doing here. What does Callum Mather have to do with my contract? Why was he allowed to be privy to something that should be private?

“Did you want to look at it for yourself?”

My eyes widened. So much for my effort at remaining passive. How was he allowed to even offer something like that? The fact that I was a shifter was practically written out for anyone to see. I just assumed my contract was private. Just because Ben knew what I was didn’t mean anyone else needed to know.

Callum waved his hand away dismissively. “No,” he said. “I think I know what I’m getting myself into.”

Ben nodded and turned to me. “Do you remember Article Four of your contract?” he asked.

I tried to remember, but honestly, I didn’t. I read what I needed to read. The important parts sunk in – the serum, the logistics of the job, the pay schedule, probation length, and the rules. Article Four could be anything as far as I was concerned.

“It’s okay if you don’t,” Ben said with a smile. “It was the smallest Article and it’s rarely if ever called upon, to be honest. I wouldn’t expect you to know what I’m referring to.”

“Uh, no.” I shook my head once. “I don’t.”

He nodded, his eyes dropping back to the contract. “I figured as much,” he said. “Article Four discusses what happens if a client wants to buy out your contract.”

“Oh.”

I nodded once. I still didn’t understand how this pertained to me at all. Someone wanted to buy out my contract? I wasn’t even sure what that meant. Was that a good thing? Maybe Callum Mather thought I was such a hot mess that he wanted Ben to completely remove me from any line of employment so no one would have to suffer through my cluelessness again. But did he really hate me that much to mess with my job like this? Especially when he barely knew me? I understood I hadn’t made the greatest impression last night, but could it really have irked him to the point of wanting to cancel me, essentially?

“Mr. Mather here is interested in buying out yours,” Ben said slowly. He seemed to realize I wasn’t quite up to speed with how this process worked. Under normal circumstances, I would be frustrated with myself for being ignorant with the situation as well as Ben for making me feel stupid. However, I was so wrapped up in what this meant for me and for my mom that I couldn’t bring myself to care about how I must look to these men.

“Okay.”

“That means you’ll be leaving the club –“

“I didn’t mean to upset –“

“-and going to live with him.”

I stopped myself and blinked once. “I’m sorry,” I said. “What?”

Live with him?

Honestly, at this point, I felt like an idiot. Every time Ben said something, I repeated it in my head even though I understood the words and what they meant when strung together in a sentence. I couldn’t be this stupid. And yet, I felt entirely clueless.

Ben smiled again. It wasn’t exactly condescending. I refrained from turning to see Callum’s reaction to my idiocy. Maybe he would change his mind.

“Think of it this way,” Ben said. “The job you would be required to fulfill based on your contract would be completed with Mr. Mather. Anything he wants done, you would do. You would not be required to do things with anyone else unless Mr. Mather requires it.”

“Which I won’t.”

I swallowed, my throat going dry at the way his voice somehow growled while he spoke.

“If you agree to this, you would be mine.” A beat. “In every sense of the word.”

A shudder slid down my spine. My pelvis started to throb. I felt myself get slick just thinking of what his words meant for me.

“But it’s up to you,” Ben said. “You can choose to stay here or you can allow him to buy out your contract. You would still be entitled to the bonus. You would be getting paid much more. Ultimately, the choice is yours.”

I looked between Callum and Ben. I could hear my heart echo in my mind. I wondered if Callum could too.

“Well?” Ben pushed, raising his brow. “What do you want, Jade?”

Chapter 5

I picked what I wanted.

Out.

Free from the cages, free from being unable to shift. If that meant being with Callum Mather, then that was it. My bonus would be enough to pay for my mother’s next two treatments with a little money left over for the bills. I didn’t have to worry about anything else for the time being.

Except Callum Mather himself.

It took another hour to process all the paperwork. I didn’t realize the sex business was so not... sexy. Discussions between Mather and Ben went on deaf ears. At this point, I didn’t particularly care about the schematics. Not when I was getting what I needed.

The second we were out the door, Callum pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.

“Those can kill you, you know,” I said without thinking, my nose wrinkling at the disgusting scent of heavy smoke coming from the thinly rolled cigarette.

His lips curled into a smirk as he wrapped his long fingers around my wrist and gently tugged me over to the valet. “What can I say?” he asked. “I like to live dangerously.”

I didn’t respond because I wasn’t sure what to say. The valet – Bruce – gave me a nod and left to grab Mather’s car after he handed the valet his ticket.

“You are beautiful.” The words were clipped. I wouldn’t say they were romantic, per se, but I could detect the honesty in them.

But it was more than that. There was a raw protectiveness in the words that I wasn’t expecting. It was almost as though he revered me as part of him, as someone he cared about enough to protect in the first place. It was incredibly shifter-like, and I felt an unexpected pang of longing for a pack, for connection, between me and a shifter who would understand.

I still wasn’t sure what Mather was. At this point, I didn’t think it mattered.

“Don’t you have anything to say?”

I blinked, my attention shifting back to Mather. I forgot what he said.

“I just said you were beautiful,” he reminded me, as though he could tell I wasn’t sure what he was referring to.

“Oh. Thanks.”

The smug smirk only widened as Bruce pulled up the shiny blue car that I was positive was expensive but didn’t have the car knowledge to know what type of car it was merely upon sight.

“You don’t have to thank me.” He took another drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke away from me, keeping his dark eyes fixed firmly on my person. “You aren’t like anyone I’ve ever met before, Jade. May I call you that? Jade?”

“Sure.” I nodded once as Bruce stepped out and walked around the car to open my door. “It is my name, after all.”

I nearly smacked my face as I slid into the low car. How lame was that?

“I suppose,” Mather said after he clicked on his seatbelt, “we should discuss what happened.”

“Okay.”

I actually didn’t want to discuss it at all. I didn’t want to wrestle with the fact that somebody had bought my contract – like I was a piece of property, a bargaining tool to be monetized. I understood that this was something I wanted. I understood that I was entitled to the money – money I needed for my mother.

“I like you.”

I shifted my eyes to look at him. “You don’t even know me.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

I closed my eyes, tilted my head up, and let out a breath. That was stupid. I couldn’t talk like that to this person who was going to help me with my mom.

“You’re right.” He placed his hand on my knee and squeezed it. I was surprised by the warmth that flooded through my senses because of him. Like I was safe with him. “I don’t know you at all. But I want to. I want to know your body. I want to know how you breathe when I fill you with my cock. I want to see your face contorted in pain when I leave my marks on your skin. I want to taste your juices as you squirt and spasm against my face. I want to get to know you in every way I possibly can.”

His words caused my breath to quicken. My face flooded with warmth. It wasn’t like I hadn’t heard things before. It wasn’t as though I had never been talked dirty to. But there was a way he said it, the way he looked at me when he said it. It caused the hairs on my skin to stand erect. It caused my pelvis to throb with both anticipation of pleasure and pain. I wanted him. I wanted to run away from him.

“I know it seems forward of me.”

“You think?” I couldn’t help but quip. “There are prettier girls at the club, more experienced. I don’t understand why, out of everyone, you chose me.”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged but his eyes were heavy, penetrating, as though he wanted me to understand that he was serious even if his answer was vague at best. “But I know I want you. I know I want to try this with you. And I usually get what I want.”

That didn’t surprise me whatsoever.

“If you want, I can return your contract to Ben Stone.” He hadn’t dropped his hand from my shoulder. I didn’t want him to, even though his touch unnerved me. “I don’t want to, but if you are unsure about me, about this... I don’t want you to be completely uncomfortable with this circumstance.”

“But you’re okay if I’m slightly uncomfortable?”

Did I just flirt? Was I actually flirting? Who was this person and what happened to the unsure, timid Jade?

His brows shot up and down, his grin widening. “I like a little discomfort,” he said. “It keeps both of us on our toes. It ensures we don’t get complacent. If we’re complacent, we aren’t trying anymore. And if we aren’t trying, it shows we don’t care.”

I gave myself a moment to let his words sink in. They were more telling then he seemed to realize.

“Sounds like you have personal experience,” I said in a low voice.

I could feel him tense. For a moment, I worried I might have crossed a line, said something I shouldn’t have. The last thing I wanted was to offend him; that wasn’t my intention.

Then again, I knew we weren’t here to talk about our pasts. We weren’t here to learn about each other besides sexually. This wasn’t a date. This wasn’t the first night of many. There was an end date in mind. This arrangement was temporary – and that was a good thing. I didn’t want to belong to someone for an infinite amount of time. I wanted the freedom to be with who I wanted, even if that meant being alone. I just had to get through the next couple of years. My mom had to get through the next couple of years. And then everything could go back to normal.

“Yes.” I was so consumed by my thoughts that I was surprised to hear Mather speak beside me. I blinked. “I do have personal experience with it. It’s customary for my family to pair up because of... destiny. I’m sure this might not make sense. It’s more romantic than I actually care to admit. But sometimes when you think you’ve found The One, you realize that they don’t care to put much thought in how they treat you and how they treat themselves because they think you’ll be together forever.”

“And your family has these expectations?” I asked. Mather’s family sounded like a pack of shifters. It made me curious about his origins, about whether he was a shifter or just came from a strange human family.

“Yes, they do.” He nodded once.

Something touched the back of my hand. I glanced down and saw his pinky finger caressing the side of my hand. I stilled even though my instincts wanted me to pull away. But I didn’t. It felt as though he was looking for a connection, something more than just sex. And I wanted to give it to him.

“It’s why I’m here, with you.” He cleared his throat, pulling his hand away and placing it in his lap. “To get back control in my life. Destiny implies there’s no control. I think it’s bullshit. I don’t want to meet someone on a whim because they’re supposedly my soul mate or whatever you want to call it. I’d rather choose my partner and the relationship I have with them.”

“Makes sense,” I acknowledged. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that.

“What about you?” He turned to look at me. “What do you believe?”

I let out a sigh. In all honesty, I hadn’t put much thought into romance or love, not with my mother sick. The fact that we also weren’t part of a pack made it easier to be independent as well.

“Honestly, I haven’t really thought about it,” I admitted. “I believe love isn’t a fairytale but it can be special. I believe that love is constant work, and if you find a person who’s worth the time and effort, then that’s what makes true love. But I don’t have much experience with that so I can’t say for sure.”

Mather was silent for a moment, taking my words in. I had the sudden urge to ask him if he had ever been in love before but before I could, the car pulled up to a driveway. This seemed to snap Mather out of his thoughts because he sat back and peered out his window.

“Home sweet home,” he said. I wasn’t sure if there was sarcasm in his tone or if he was genuine. All the same, I waited until the driver opened my door for me before I let myself look at his house. I did not think I would ever call it my home.

My mouth dropped open when I saw just how big it was. It was a two-story manor with a huge backyard and we were in a driveway rather than parked in front of a garage. I was certain we weren’t in the city anymore, though where on the outskirts we were, I couldn’t be sure. Because we weren’t part of our pack anymore, we stayed where it was more urban and filled with life and buildings and fast movement. My mother avoided nature, I think, because it reminded her of the life she used to have, and knowing she didn’t have it anymore made her sad.

“What do you think?” Mather asked, coming to stand beside me.

I realized at that moment that my mouth hung open like a fish out of water and I quickly shut it, hoping he hadn’t seen me look like a fool. I swallowed, hoping to moisten my throat, and nodded my head.

“It’s beautiful,” I admitted, turning to face him. My hair fell in my profile, masking the majority of my features.

“I’m glad you like it.” He took my hand in his own and gently tugged me up the steps to the front doors of his home. “Before I give you a tour of my home, there’s a room I want to show you.”

I let him lead me through the double-doors, slightly intrigued. Was he going to show me my room? His room?

He led me up a winding staircase and down a quiet hall. I wasn’t sure if he had staff to help him keep this place clean, but it looked like, if he did, they didn’t step down this hallway.

We went down until we reached the end, where two double-doors were kept. Mather pulled out a key and slid it in the lock, opening the doors and standing back so I could step inside.

“This is the room where I will consume every inch of you, Jade,” he announced. “This is the point of no return. Once I have you, I don’t plan on letting you go. Ever.”

Chapter 6

My mouth dropped open. I wasn’t particularly sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t a room filled with all sorts of contraptions I had only seen in a Fifty Shades movie. I tensed up, unsure how to proceed. I wanted to back out. I had never done something like this before. I had never allowed myself to get hurt this way before – as though pain would elicit some kind of pleasure deep inside of me. I could understand why people enjoyed it, but I was not one of those people.

Well, you better turn into one of those people, Jade. Your mom is depending on it.

“I can see you’re tense.” Mather brushed by me so he could step inside the room, placing himself directly in front of me. I took a breath.

“N-no,” I said, forcing a smile I hoped was way cooler than it felt. “It’s totally fine. I’m fine. I like this sort of thing.”

His grin widened, though his eyes were kind. He wasn’t mocking me, at least not in this moment.

“It’s not going to help either of us if you lie,” he said, taking a step forward. “I picked you because I had never seen you before. There’s something about you I’m drawn to.” He took a tentative step forward, then another, until he was close enough to touch. “There’s something sweet about you, something I want to punish.”

“Punish?” I wasn’t expecting that word to come out of his mouth.

He nodded once, curling an errant strand of my hair behind my ear. His touch set my entire body on fire and I gulped, unsure if I wanted to engage in such a behavior or if I was afraid to do so. Probably both.

“It’s a compliment,” he said, dropping his hand from my ear to my chin. His eyes dropped to my mouth, his eyes darkening further. “Trust me.”

My mouth parted. His jaw clenched when he saw my reaction.

“I’m serious, Jade,” he said, his voice nothing more than a low growl. “You have to trust me for this to work. The things I’ve already fantasized doing to you...” He let his voice trail off and my core throbbed. I let out a whimper and his lips twitched. “Do you trust me?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer that. Did I trust him? I barely knew the guy. I knew he was rich and attractive. I still couldn’t figure out if he was a shifter or not. I wasn’t sure that actually mattered in the end. And I knew that he was going to save my mother.

I had to trust him.

“Yes.”

The word was barely a whisper. I wasn’t sure I spoke at all. Even he seemed surprised by my response, but it quickly disappeared from his face as though it hadn’t been there at all. I was starting to realize that Calum Mather didn’t like to show his hand. He kept his emotions in check.

“Good.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. It was a strangely erotic gesture and I felt my pelvis start to get wet simply by watching him.

Suddenly, his words from the car came back to me. I wanted him to do all of those things to me. I wanted him to know the way my body responded to his. I wanted him to hurt me, to punish me, to leave his mark on me and possess me in a way I had never been before.

“Get on your knees.”

I clenched my teeth. Every instinct inside of me wanted to disobey. Shifters had the worst sort of pride. I was no exception. I did not want to succumb to this man, and yet, my knees bent until they hit the floor.

“Put your hands behind your back.”

I listened.

“Head down. Don’t look at me until I tell you to.”

I nodded once.

“And you will address me as sir.” His hand cupped my chin and tilted my head up until our eyes met. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I responded, my mouth dry.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

He moved his head up and down in approval. “If you forget again, that’s a punishable offense. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

Without warning, he dropped my chin and dug his fingers in my scalp, pulling at the roots. I sucked in a breath.

“Yes, sir,” I amended.

His hand released its hold on me and he caressed my cheek, suddenly gentle once again.

“Rise,” he commanded. “Go on the bed. Lay on your back. Spread your legs and your arms.”

“Why?”

He slapped my ass after I stood up. Pain ripped through me, and I clenched my jaw to keep myself from letting out a growl.

“You will not question me,” he said.

I wanted to rip into him. I wanted to tell him he would not put his hands on me. I wanted to slap him back and see how he liked it.

Don’t even think about it. You have your mom to take care of. Do what he says.

I let out a breath. I climbed on the bed. Before I could crawl all the way on it, he stopped me by placing one hand on my waist. Without warning, his other hand found the small of my back and pushed me forward so I was bent over the edge, ass in the air. He ran his hand gingerly where he had spanked me, his breathing heavy in my ear.

“You’re going to bruise,” he told me in a low, velvet voice. “I look forward to seeing my mark on you. One of many, I’m sure.”

He dropped his hands. I didn’t have to look at him to know he expected me to resume the position he wanted me in.

When I turned over, I stared up at the ceiling. Suddenly, Mather was at my wrist, tying the softest piece of cloth around it. I turned my head to see what was going on and realized he was using silk to tie me to the bed. It took a moment but I was completely trapped.

When he finished, he stood over me in his suit and he started to undo his tie. I started to get wet at the sheer power he had over me. He tossed his tie to the floor, the corner of his lips curling up into a smirk.

“I can smell you, you know,” he said. His fingers started to undo the buttons on his white collared shirt. “Your desire for me. How much you want me.”

“Yes, sir.”

Once his shirt was discarded, I allowed myself a moment to completely take him in. Every piece of his body had muscle, but he wasn’t bulky. There were a few scars on his body, scars I was curious about but couldn’t ask about. Not if I wanted another spank.

You enjoyed it, a voice pointed out. Don’t deny it.

How could I? There was pain and it caused pleasure in me. Pleasure that made me want more of it.

Mather stripped down to nothing and pulled on a condom. He gripped the base of his cock and positioned it between my legs, where he had tied my ankles to the sides, spreading me wide open. When the tip of his cock hit my opening, I let out a moan.

Something pinched my thigh and my eyes snapped open. Mather had gripped my skin with his fingers.

“Don’t make a sound,” he instructed. “I want to see how long you can last being completely silent.”

I nodded my head. He pinched me harder.

“Yes, sir,” I said.

He released me, and I let out a breath before pressing my lips together. Not make a sound? That wasn’t something I was used to. Typically, men liked hearing their women in bed. I might not be incredibly experienced, but that’s what I was told.

Mather slammed his cock into me. I bit my bottom lip so hard to keep my noises to myself so hard, I could taste blood.

“Jesus Christ, you are so tight.” His hands gripped my hips, holding me in place. It wasn’t like I could move anyway, not with my restraints.

He pulled himself all the way out of me and did the same thing. It hurt. God, it hurt. And yet, I wanted more of him. I wanted more of his cock. I wanted it to stay inside of me and fill me up. The fact that I was completely vulnerable, the fact that I couldn’t move, just added to my experience.

He pushed himself all the way on the bed, covering my body with his own.

I wanted more of him. I wanted to claw at his back and make him hiss in frustration. I wanted him to howl with pleasure as I inflicted pain on him. I wanted to pull his hair, bite his neck, and do anything else I could to elicit pain in him.

“Do not come until I tell you you’re allowed, do you understand?”

I nodded my head. “Yes,” I said through a moan.

He reached behind me and slapped my ass.

“Yes, sir,” I corrected.

Under normal circumstances, I would have bristled at him ordering me around, at him forcing me to call him sir, at him punishing me if I didn’t follow his orders to a tee.

But I liked it. I liked being dominated. I liked being possessed. I liked being treated like an object in the bedroom. I didn’t know I liked it until now, but I did.

My core tightened. My breathing got shallow. I could feel my orgasm start to build. If he didn’t slow down, I was going to come before he officially gave me permission.

He continued his pace. His grunting, his quick breathing, only added to my buildup. I tried to keep silent. I tried to press down on my lips to keep anything from coming out of my mouth.

But I couldn’t.

Without warning, I released myself against his hard cock. All bets were off at that point. I let out a long moan, twitching against his cock. My arms and legs were exhausted, but as I came, I forgot about the pain. I forgot that Mather ordered me to be quiet, to not come until he said I could. I knew there would be consequences, but I didn’t care.

When I finally calmed down, Mather’s grip on my hips tightened and he released his own pleasure. He twitched inside me, which practically got me to the brink once more.

After he calmed down, he removed himself from me and cleaned himself up in the attached bathroom I hadn’t noticed until now. He came back into the room, now in his boxer briefs. He eyes roved over my body, taking me in. It was difficult for me to keep my eyes open. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t. Not being tied up the way I was.

“You should have listened to me,” he said, his voice gravelly in the heavy silence. “You will learn.”

He headed to the door, causing me to wake up more.

“Wait,” I said. “Where are you going? You still have to let me go.”

“No.” He stopped at the door and turned to give me one last look. “Now, you will be punished. You must learn to obey me.”

“So you won’t untie me?” I asked, my eyes wide.

“I will,” he promised, “once you learn your lesson.”

Before I could ask him any more questions, he disappeared, shutting the doors behind him.

Chapter 7

Tears filled my eyes. I didn’t understand why I was reacting this way. The sex was... the best sex I had ever had in my life. I hadn’t experienced what Mather had put me through before, but now that I had, I was open to doing it again, and soon.

And yet, I could not help but cry and what was worse was that I didn’t know why. I shouldn’t be crying at all. I had a home. I didn’t have to work for Ben Stone or take that serum that prevented me from shifting. I could actually pay for my mother’s treatments and have money left over. I only had to have sex with one guy.

I should be more grateful. I knew this.

I closed my eyes, more tears spilling out. I tried to catch my breath, tried to get ahold of my emotions. The last thing I needed was for Mather to come in and see me crying. He wasn’t looking for an emotional trainwreck who couldn’t handle this type of sex. I wasn’t sure what my contract stipulated – if I was technically under some kind of probation period still – but I needed to get a grip on myself or else I was going to end up jobless, homeless, and absolutely no way to help my mom.

My arms and legs were getting sore. Despite the smooth texture of the shackles Mather put on me, they were starting to grate into my skin. I wanted to relax them into my sides but I couldn’t. I didn’t think I’d be able to fall asleep this way, either, which sucked because I was so exhausted.

What if I needed to use the bathroom? a voice asked in my head.

I whimpered at the thought. I could always call out for him, but I wasn’t sure if that mattered. He might not respond, which meant I might be forced to relieve myself on the bed as a form of punishment. It was the last thing I needed.

If such a thing were to happen...

No. Don’t go down that road, Jade. Don’t work yourself up over something that hasn’t even happened yet. That might not happen at all.

At that moment, there was a knock on the door. I froze. I tried to bring my hands to my face so I could erase all traces of my tears, but something stopped me. I didn’t know how it was possible, but I completely forgot about the fact that I was tied up. Which didn’t make any sense, and I only cried harder.

“Jade?” Mather’s voice floated into the room, tentative and sweet. “May I come in?”

“Can’t you do whatever you want?” I asked. I didn’t mean to sound so bitter, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t help myself at all, and that just upset me more than I was willing to admit.

“Most times, yes,” he said, still standing outside the door. “But right now, afterward? This is your time. If you don’t want me in, I will go. But it might be a good idea, at least since this was our first time.”

I gave myself a moment to think about it. Did I want him to go? I definitely didn’t want him to see me this way. I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t handle whatever it was he wanted to do to me. I didn’t want him to think I was some weakling who couldn’t handle rough sex. Even in my personal life, I didn’t mind it when things got intense. Hell, sometimes I encouraged it.

But what happened between Mather and me...

Honestly, I didn’t know why I was emotional over it. It wasn’t as though I was in love with him and he had ruined some kind of fairytale I had had in my mind over what our first time would be like. I think the intensity got to me in a way I hadn’t expected it to. And maybe everything that had to do with my mom and just seeing Mather walk out without even looking at me; it made me feel like a worthless piece of garbage.

Maybe if he did come back, if he was here to possibly talk to me, it might help things. It might help me recover from it all.

“Y-yeah,” I told him. “You can come in.”

Mather walked in with something in his hand. I couldn’t make out what it was but I was expecting something that might go with his domineering way. Instead, when he reached the foot of my bed, he held it up.

It was chocolate.

And not just any chocolate, fancy chocolate that was more expensive than regular candy bars at the checkout aisle.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He set the chocolate on the bed and stepped to the side. From there, he leaned down and began to undo the restraints. His hands were much more gentle than I expected them to be, especially after what had just transpired between us. “Chocolate always makes me feel better. If I have a shitty day at work or an argument with my father, I always grab a pack of these and I feel a million times better. Maybe they’ll make you feel better as well.”

“Oh, I’m not –“

“You don’t have to lie.” Mather moved from my wrist to my ankle, keeping his eyes on his task at hand rather than looking at me. “I know that for those who haven’t experienced this sort of intimacy, it’s a lot to handle. I lose girls after the first time constantly just because they can’t handle it. And that’s fine with me.”

I inwardly bristled at the mention of him being with other girls even though I knew he had been.

Don’t be that, I lectured myself. Don’t be jealous over the past.

“But there’s something I see in you, Jade.” He shook his head, moving to my other ankle and continuing to remove the silk. “I can’t explain it.

When he untied my last restraint, I sat up. He placed a hand on my shoulder. “Easy there,” he said, helping me as I rubbed my wrists soothingly.

“Can I just be honest with you?” I asked him, glancing at him from the corner of my eyes. My entire body was tense and my hands shook, probably from the shock that still coursed through my body. My ankles throbbed, despite the silky-soft restraints. “I have no idea if I’m even good at this. I don’t know if I’m making you happy. I don’t know if I’m pleasing you. This is all new to me and I’m not quite sure how I can be good for you when I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He took a seat on the side of the bed before cupping my cheek with his hand. I was surprised to find how rough it was. For someone who seemed to live a life of affluence and privilege, I expected soft hands, hands that didn’t have to experience hardship. I expected his hands to be different than my hands.

But they weren’t.

“You have me,” he promised. “I’m here to show you. I know that this can be overwhelming, but I promise you it doesn’t have to be scary. It requires practice and trust. An open mind, definitely.”

“And every girl you’ve brought back here had those qualities?” I asked tentatively. I didn’t know why I felt so shy asking him this, but I did.

He snorted, another sound I was surprised to hear come from him. He dropped his hand and handed me the bag of chocolate before standing up. I instantly missed his presence, the warmth that emanated from his body and surrounded mine. I watched him head to a closet I hadn’t noticed before, and reach for something high.

“No,” he said. “When I make a decision based on looks or on sexual ability, I get people who are less than spectacular. And that’s not their fault, that’s my fault. When I make decisions based on logic, on rational thought, that’s when I get screwed over – and not the way I want to get screwed.” He smiled at his attempt at a joke and headed back over to me, a large blanket in his hand. “But it’s when I pick someone for reasons even unknown to me, reasons I can’t explain or don’t make sense, that’s when I get someone amazing. A diamond in the rough.”

I close my eyes as he wraps the blanket around my shoulders, making sure to cover my naked body. His eyes didn’t even drop to those private places, as though he didn’t think he had a right to stare at them even though he bought my contract and could pretty much do whatever it was he wanted to me.

“And you think that could be me?” I asked. It was hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that I could fulfill this particular criteria in his life when I could barely walk in a straight line while I chewed gum.

“I don’t know.” He shook my head and broke off a piece of chocolate and popped it into his mouth. “Look, I don’t want to tell you lies just because they sound nice and will make you feel better about this situation we both find ourselves in. I’m not going to lie to you. But I can’t help my feelings.”

Feelings?

I rolled over so I was on my back, my body still protected by the flimsy sheet Mather had placed on me.

“What do you mean?” I asked. He handed me another piece of chocolate and I popped it into my mouth without hesitating.

Feelings? That was not a word I expected to hear from Mather, especially in relation to me. Feelings was a word one used when there was romance and intimacy involved. Mather and I had a contract and a payment plan set up. There were no feelings between us.

At least, I didn’t think there were.

“I mean, when I look at you, Jade, there’s something there. Something between us. Maybe you don’t feel it and that’s okay. I’m surprised I’m even telling you this stuff in the first place. I’m not, I’m not this way at all. I’m not this guy.” He stopped and turned. Again, he played with my hair. This time, he coiled it around his long finger and gently tugged at the roots. “The fact that I’m feeling this way, the fact that I can’t even put into words what I’m feeling... That’s why I chose you. Because you bring out this part of me that isn’t sure about anything.”

I let out a breath, looking down at my body covered by the sheet. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, but I wished I did. I wished I could have given him something – maybe like a reassuring squeeze of his shoulder or a pretty string of words. Instead, I kept my thoughts to myself mainly because even my thoughts were so jumbled, I wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“I hope... I’m not trying to scare you.” Mather looked at me again. “I’m just trying to be honest. I always try to be honest with my subs.”

His words hit me like a sucker punch to the gut.

How could I have so easily forgotten?

When Mather talked about feelings, he didn’t mean emotional ones. He meant sexual ones. I was nothing more than his property, a living, breathing sex toy he could buy and use at his convenience.

“I appreciate the honesty,” I forced myself to get out.

It was a lie, of course. Just because he felt the need to be honest didn’t mean I did.

And yet, what right did I have to complain about anything? I agreed to this relationship. I agreed to putting a price on my body.

I didn’t regret saving my mother’s life, but I couldn’t help but wish there was another way to do it. Because the way Mather was making me feel in this moment was nothing short of garbage.

Chapter 8

It was a strange thing to say that I got used to this routine we developed together, but it was true. Mather worked during the day, Monday through Friday. He left early and got home late. Every now and then, I would try to calculate how long he worked, but because he owned his own company, he was usually the first one there and the last one to leave. He always called me on the way home so I would know when to expect him. His chef, Carlos, always prepared me a meal at six. It was rare that Mather would be home to eat with me; he typically grabbed something to go on the way home because he wanted me to have energy.

I was to meet him in his room, knees on the floor, completely naked, back facing the door. My hands were to be cradled in my lap, my head was supposed to be down. I was supposed to emulate the perfect submissive. At first, it was difficult for me to get in that position, and there were times I was taken out of the moment because I couldn’t help but judge him for his preferences. However, after a week, I got used to our sex routine as well. I didn’t necessarily understand it, but I got used to it. I picked up his nuances. I could tell when he had a bad day at work by his phone call, and I knew what he needed in order to soothe his temper. I knew when he needed me to be more nurturing, when he needed quiet, and when he needed passion. At first, he would have to tell me, but I made it a point to pick things up as quickly as I could because I did not want a replay of what happened between us that first night.

It wasn’t as though it wasn’t sweet. He was kind and informative. He revealed a lot about himself that night that I hadn’t expected from him. However, at the same time, I didn’t like the feeling of isolation, of abandonment, I had felt when he initially left. I did not want to suffer through that again.

More than all of that, I was starting to feel like a caged beast. Mather never told me I was forced to stay here. He always made sure I had a credit card and clean clothes and access to one of his cars if I wanted to visit my mom or go out to lunch with a friend. He never made me feel trapped. It was my inability to shift into my wolf that caused me to get restless. I found myself pacing a lot during the day. I found myself angry and frustrated as well. Hiding those emotions from Mather just made it worse. I wish I could confide in someone, but I barely had time to talk to Janet just because her schedule was so full.

When I woke up this morning, I already knew something was wrong with me, but I didn’t understand what it was. I pressed my lips together, trying to keep myself from gagging up even before I got out of bed.

In a sense, I was lucky. If I was going to get sick at any point, Wednesdays were the perfect day to do only because they were my quote unquote days off. Wednesdays, I visited my mom and paid the bills. Wednesdays, I had time to myself. Wednesdays were mine and mine alone. I wasn’t required to have sex with Mather and he never put unnecessary pressure on me by asking.

I padded to my attached bathroom and tried to throw up. The first thought that crossed my mind was that I could be pregnant. I refused to be one of those damsel contemporary romance novel heroines who never know she’s pregnant until she’s throwing up in a garbage can, and even then she doesn’t think that she’s pregnant.

No, I knew there was a strong possibility such a thing could occur – except we were only two weeks into this. Considering I hadn’t had any sex before Mather for a while, there was absolutely no way I’d be showing symptoms of pregnancy now. Granted, I would probably buy a test just to be sure, but I was almost positive I wasn’t pregnant. Like, ninety nine point nine nine percent.

Which meant I was sick.

I didn’t actually throw up. I waited by the toilet bowl, and when nothing came up, I picked myself up and put on casual clothing. I pulled my hair into a loose ponytail and headed down the stairs in my frumpy clothes and mismatched socks, thinking Mather would be long gone and Carlos could cook me a crepe with Nutella and strawberries. Just because my stomach was giving me problems didn’t mean I wasn’t hungry.

Maybe that was the issue.

I was just hungry.

The thought completely vanished from my mind the second I set foot into the dining room. Mather was there, reading the newspaper. He still wore a suit, though this one was much more casual than the ones I typically saw him in. His brown hair fell into his face rather than being slicked back. He looked comfortable. As in, he had absolutely no intention of leaving the house today.

He looked up when he heard my approach and did a double-take before his lips curved into a gentle smile.

“Leggings and an oversized sweater?” he asked. “Comfy.”

“I can change,” I said quickly, jutting my thumb over my shoulder like I was some kind of awkward hitchhiker. “I didn’t realize you would be home today.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” His eyes swept over me again. “I like it.” He turned back to his newspaper. “I never go into work during the full moon.”

My brow shot high on my forehead, teasing my hairline. “It’s the full moon tonight?” I asked in a low voice.

He nodded his head, eyes still on his food.

Without me having to say anything, Carlos brought me a plate filled with Nutella-soaked crepes covered in fresh strawberries. I took a seat across from Mather and began to eat. My stomach issues were temporarily forgotten as I ate in silence. The only sounds I could hear were Carlos cleaning up the kitchen and the snap of the newspaper every time Mather turned the page.

The full moon was tonight. No wonder I was feeling strange. When was the last time I shifted? I didn’t know. Thanks to the serum Ben Stone forced me to take because of the contract I signed, being a shifter felt like another life, like it wasn’t real to me.

I looked down at my hands and tried to imagine them as paws. I couldn’t. Shame instantly filled my body and my appetite suddenly vanished.

I couldn’t believe that I allowed someone to dictate what I did with my body.

If you hadn’t, your mom could be dead, a voice pointed out.

There wasn’t any way I could argue with that point so I decided to keep eating, even if my heart wasn’t exactly in it.

“You okay?”

Mather’s voice interrupted my thoughts. I blinked, surprised by the concern I detected in his voice.

“Uh, yeah,” I said, curling hair behind my ear. “Just not feeling one hundred percent.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked.

“Oh, no, but thank you. I’ll probably hang out in my room the whole day. Maybe visit my mom after lunch for a bit. Stuff like that. Nothing too intense.”

Mather pressed his lips together, nodding his head. “Okay,” he said. “If you change your mind, let me know. I’m here the whole day.”

I nodded, shoveling the food in my mouth as quickly as I could. When I finished, I thanked Carlos and headed back upstairs. I showered and then took it easy. That sick feeling didn’t leave me, even being hydrated, even being full. I had never felt like this before and I knew it was because of the fact that I hadn’t changed in a long time.

There was no actual rule about when to shift except when it came to the full moon. I liked to shift once a day, if not every other day. I liked to stretch my muscles, explore my freedom, and give into my other, more animalistic side. I didn’t have to hide who I was in order to appease anyone.

Try shifting now, a voice inside of me urged. What’s holding you back?

The voice had a point. There was no reason not to try. I went to my door and locked it. I didn’t know how I would react if I was successful since I had kept that part of me hidden away for so long. I wanted to make sure I was safe and Mather was safe. Granted, I hadn’t shifted in nearly a month. I didn’t know if I would be able to control myself as a shifter due to the fact that I hadn’t let out my inner-wolf in a while. But I would take every precaution that I could.

I glanced over to the window and wondered if maybe I should go outside where I knew I wouldn’t be able to hurt him, but stopped myself. I was holding myself back and I knew it.

Come on, come on.

I stood in the middle of my room and shook out my arms, my legs, and then finally my neck. I rolled my shoulders back, closed my eyes, and then began to visualize myself shifting into a wolf.

I popped one eye open.

Nothing happened.

I frowned.

I blew out a breath and tried again. This time, I put some strain on my muscles, hoping to help them along.

No such luck.

I clenched my teeth together. I was starting to get frustrated.

Then, something popped into my head.

What if the ability to shift was now gone?

My mouth dropped open and I swallowed. What if the serum wasn’t to temporarily prevent me from shifting, but took away the ability completely.

I shook my head.

No. No way.

I would shift, goddammit. No matter what it took in me, I was going to shift.

I continued to try for what felt like a good hour, maybe even two. All I was doing was standing there, and yet I felt overheated and exhausted. Angry tears pricked my eyes and I immediately blinked them away. I would not, for one second, even allow myself to cry because I couldn’t shift. I was not going to let myself become a victim.

Instead, I curled my fingers into tights balls, shaking at my sides, and I let out a roar. I hadn’t actually meant to let myself roar. I hadn’t meant to make any noise at all. It just came out.

And yet, my muscles were moving and that familiar sense of peace washed over me as I dropped on all fours, my clothes coming off in shreds.

I looked down at my hands – they were now paws. I nearly laughed and it came out like a weird cross between a growl and a bark.

Not that it mattered.

I had shifted. I was a wolf again.

I sighed, contentment washing over me. I missed this. I could not believe I allowed someone to take that away from me.

Never again, I promised myself. I don’t care what it meant, I would not hide my true self away.

At that moment, someone pounded on the door. “Jade?”

My ears perked. It was Mather.

“Are you okay?”

I opened myself to respond, but a growl came out of my snout instead. I cursed at myself.

“I’m coming in.”

There was a moment when the doorknob twisted and turned. I realized he must have a key.

I needed to think – and fast.

Mather opened the door, his mouth dropping open the second he saw me.

I couldn’t help myself.

I lunged.

Chapter 9

Mather ducked out of the way just in time. For a moment, I was mesmerized by his quick reflexes. Then, I shook myself out of it and refocused. I didn’t want to admire Mather right now, not when I was finally a wolf. I turned my body, slipping on the smooth floors. I caught myself just in time, running to the top of the staircase.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop my momentum, even if I tried. I wasn’t used to being a wolf. I had to go back and figure out how to control myself the way I used to know how. I toppled down the stairs and only caught myself once I reached the bottom. I’d probably have bruises on my body once I returned to my human form, but I didn’t care. I’d worry about that later.

I headed out the back door, scaring Carlos as I ran through the kitchen. The light coming from the cracked door, the crisp breeze that smelled just like nature right after a heavy storm...

God, I missed this.

The second I was outside, I ran as fast as I could. I hadn’t noticed there were actual woods surrounding Mather’s mansion. I knew he had a big backyard, but to see the trees and the bushes, to see dirt.

I rolled around in it, nipping the air as I did so. This was what I wanted. This was why I was feeling so off.

Birds chirped from nests above me, as though they were welcoming me home. Dew still on the leaves and grass helped cool me down. Even the dirt under the shade the trees provided was soft, full of moisture. Everything about this place was perfect.

I ran as far as I could go. I laughed and shook my head, still unable to reconcile the fact that I had allowed someone to give up such an important part of who I was. I would never let that happen again – no matter what. If it was a money issue, I would figure out a way around it. Suppressing my true nature had been wrong, and again, I vowed I would never do it.

I wasn’t sure how long I had been in the woods. Time was irrelevant to me in this moment. After I had fully bathed in the dirt, with leaves and twigs caught in my fur, after the sun peeking through the high tops of the trees began to dim, I realized I should probably head back.

If I had a home to return to in the first place.

I wasn’t sure how Mather was going to respond to the fact that I had practically jumped him. Then again, would he even be aware of the fact that I was the wolf in the first place?

At that moment, I picked up an unfamiliar scent. It was, however, an animal. There was something about it, something I should probably know. I didn’t understand it.

I turned and found another wolf, heading straight towards me. My entire body tensed up and I clenched my teeth, prepared to attack if I needed to. I even let out a growl in warning for good measure.

The wolf stopped, tilted his head to the side.

Why was that simple gesture so familiar?

The male stopped walking and sat in front of me, waiting. Waiting for what, I didn’t know.

I flared my nostrils, my body relaxing, but only slightly. I wanted to sniff him. I wanted to understand who this wolf was.

When I got closer to him, I realized why he was so familiar: he was a shifter. Like me.

My tail started to wag unexpectedly and I rushed at him. He let me sniff him, happy to have me attempt to know him. He stayed in his position, not bothering to move or even sniff me in return. I appreciated his patience.

Then, without warning, his body began to shift. Standing before me was none other than Callum Mather, completely naked, in all of his beautiful glory.

It took me a moment of trying and inwardly cursing at myself, but I finally managed to shift into my human form.

“I knew there was something about you,” he murmured.

He stepped towards me once. When he saw I wasn’t going to move away from him, he stepped again and again until he was inches from me. His hand cupped my face, his thumb extending out so he could trace my jaw. I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch.

“You are mine.” He said it like it was a fact, like I had no choice in the matter. There was no possession behind it, though I was aware he did want to possess me.

“And you are mine.” I reached out with both arms to envelope him into a tight hug, rubbing his back, pressing my bare breasts against his solid torso. “I didn’t know...”

“You’ve been suppressing your wolf,” he said. “It’s why I couldn’t figure out your scent. It was like I knew you, I knew you belonged to me in some way, but I just couldn’t figure out how.”

“There was a serum Ben made us take,” I explained. I hadn’t realized how affected I was by Ben’s treatment until my voice broke. I took a breath, trying to get a hold of myself. “He didn’t want us changing. It was the only way I could sign my contract- and I needed that contract. I used the money to pay for my mom’s medical bills. With her being a shifter, she doesn’t respond to human medicine the way humans would. And with it being cancer, a very human disease...”

He caressed my hair and I closed my eyes once again, resting my head on his chest.

“I have this sudden urge to kill Ben and play with his intestines like chew toys,” Mather said. His tone was so indifferent, he could have been talking about the weather.

I barked out a laugh of surprise. The last thing I expected from Mather was protectiveness or jealousy. Granted, those were traits typically found in wolves. Perhaps he was just good at suppressing them.

“What?” he asked, a small smile on his face.

I leaned into his body and smiled, shaking my head. “It’s nothing,” I said. “I just... I just didn’t expect that from you.”

“Why not?” He seemed affronted by this. When I glanced up to see if he was being serious, his eyes sparkled with mischievousness. “I’m being serious, Jade.” He laughed. “You’re mine.” His voice was low, sending a lightning bolt straight to my pelvis. “I will do anything I am able to in order to protect the people I love. If I found out anything hurts those few people, I will rip them to shreds. No one should have forced you to suppress your wolf. Why agree?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” I said. I made sure to keep the defensiveness out of my tone. It wasn’t his fault my mother had cancer. It wasn’t his fault we had been excommunicated from our pack. It wasn’t his fault for anything happening in our lives. “With my mom... There was no way we could afford any kind of treatment, and I wasn’t going to lose her. Not when...” Tears accumulated in my eyes before I realized it and I hurriedly blinked them away. The last thing I wanted was to cry in front of Mather, especially when I was happy.

He squeezed my shoulder, trying to give me the reassurance I so desperately craved.

“I don’t know much about your mother,” he said in a soft whisper. A light breeze tickled our skin and the hair on my body stood straight up to attention. “I’d like to.”

I tilted my head back up, not sure I believed him. No one really asked about my mom, not even my friends, not even Janet. It was as though they were too afraid to bring her up, as though words were what was killing her and not some illness.

When he gave me a genuine smile in response to my inquiring look, my heart fluttered.

So I told him everything I could. I told him about how stubborn she was, how important it was to her to set an example to me and that was why she left the pack, why she refused to marry someone she didn’t love despite the sacrifice. I never resented her choice, though I was frustrated that that was how the pack decided to respond. I was surprised that he hung onto every word, he asked questions that didn’t feel obligatory, that he wasn’t afraid of handling me and any emotions that might come with talking to me about such a sensitive subject.

“I think I’d like to meet her,” Mather said when I was finally finished. “One day.”

“Yeah...” I let my voice trail off. “When she’s better.” I forced myself to say when, not if. “I just... I mean, she’d be really excited to meet you. She’s never told me directly, but I do think she’s worried that I’m never going to find a mate because of her decision to leave her pack. Well, it really wasn’t her decision, was it, if they basically told her she had to leave unless she married – I mean, I guess that technically means she was free to make her choice –“

“Jade.” Mather squeezed my shoulder with his hand and my stomach burst into butterflies. “You’re babbling.”

I knew it.

God.

However, when I looked over at him, I saw his a small smile on his lips. He was amused, but not because he was laughing at me. His eyes were soft, filled with wonder, but I couldn’t say for sure what that was.

“You’re cute,” he said, moving his hand from my shoulder to pinch my cheek.

“Uh, anyway.” I looked down, playing with the blades of grass underneath me. My face warmed with redness at his statement. “My mom worries I won’t find someone I, uh, care about. She doesn’t say it because she doesn’t know what’s going to happen to her because of this disease. But she wants to be a grandma. I think it would make her happy, knowing I have someone in my life –“

“You want to have babies with?” Mather teased.

I turned even redder. “Oh my – that isn’t what I meant.” I bit my bottom lip, shaking my head. “I swear, I’m not, I’m not trying to scare you off. I’m not trying to rush things or anything like that. I just –“

Mather gently placed a finger on my lips, silencing me. “You don’t have to worry about that,” he said. “You can talk to me about anything you want. You can’t scare me off, Jade. You can’t push me away. If you need time to yourself, if you need space, I will gladly give it. I will not be your keeper. But I will always be waiting for you to return. However long you need.”

My lips turned up into a small smile. “Thank you,” I murmured.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said through a gentle chuckle. He pulled out a wildflower and tucked it behind me ear. “It’s about respect. And I respect you. To go back to your comment about kids, when you’re ready to talk about them, I’m here. I don’t mean we’re going to have them right away – unless that’s something you want – but we can talk about them. I want kids too. I would be honored making your mom a grandmother – once she gets better, of course.”

“You think she’ll get better?” I asked. I couldn’t contain the hope in my voice if I tried.

Mather paused, reaching out to play with my hair. “I think your mom is a fighter and always has been – from the limited information I have of her,” he said. “I think that if she found out you had a man who loved you, she might fight harder, knowing the possibility of grandkids was in her near-future.”

Chapter 10

Love?

Mather loved me?

I didn’t think such a thing was possible. And yet, lying with him under the full moon, our bodies completely naked, I couldn’t help but understand it.

“I love you too,” I told him. I was surprised by the honesty in the words.

This was what it meant to find my mate, I realized. I didn’t want to admit it, but I had been worried about the whole mating for life thing. As a wolf, it was expected that I would find my mate within the pack. Typically, that was true. However, I saw what happened on the other side of the coin. I saw what happened when the pack forced things to happen for the good of the pack. I saw my mother stand up for herself and I saw the repercussions of that. It was why I avoided being part of a pack at all – my identity would be forgotten because the pack would have to come first.

That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. But if I didn’t comply with what the pack wanted...

My mother had been excommunicated, and that seemed like a blessing.

Still, it left me wondering if I missed my opportunity to find my mate. I couldn’t help but think I would be destined to either be alone or tangled up with some human who wouldn’t understand what I was, who I would have to hide my true self from. The thought of doing something like that scared me which was how I wound up being single for such a long time.

But this? With Mather?

Destiny did exist. I had found my mate even though I didn’t have a pack. And he had found his, even though he didn’t belong to one either. We just couldn’t see it because I couldn’t shift.

Mather pulled me into a deep kiss, his hand still holding onto mine. We only broke apart so we could breathe. His eyes took me in, sculpted my face. There was such an intensity in them that I could not help but look away. My cheeks flooded with warmth. I didn’t know why I was suddenly shy but I was. It was almost embarrassing.

“Don’t do that,” he said in a voice just above a whisper. “Don’t hide yourself away from me. Not anymore.”

My eyes fluttered until they looked at him again. He cupped my cheek with his rough hand – at least I understood why they were rough now. His lips curved up into a smile and I couldn’t help but grin in return.

“What?” I asked. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Because I finally found you,” he said. His fingers danced across my jaw before they dropped to my throat. “I knew I would, I just didn’t think...” He shook his head. “I knew there was something about you.’

He dropped his hand even further so it ghosted across my collarbone and traced the outline of my breast. I threw my head back and shuddered, my eyes closing on their own accord. He continued to touch me, following the curve of my body until he found my waist.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured, more to himself than to me.

I wanted to respond in kind, but all I managed to get out was a small whimper.

Without warning, he flipped me so I was on my stomach. He placed his other hand on my other hip, arching my back so my butt was in the air and my upper body was pressed into the grass. My knees were spread open. I could feel the grass stick to my skin.

He ran his hand down my back, following my spine until it touched my ass and then slapped it. My eyes snapped open and I let out a moan.

He slammed his hard cock into my folds so hard it hurt. I clenched my jaw together. I didn’t want him to stop. I didn’t want him to think I was weak.

I spread my fingers in the grass, digging them into the dirt. My nails filled with the moist soil. I needed to hold my balance, keep myself strong.

“Touch yourself,” he commanded. “Touch yourself for me.”

I lifted one hand and brought it between my thighs. “Yes, sir,” I said.

He stopped abruptly but did not pull out of me. He molded his chest to my back, one arm wrapping around me to stop my own pleasure.

“Not sir,” he said, his voice gentle. “When we’re outside the room, you can call me anything you want. The only place you must address me as sir is that room.”

I nodded my head, warmth spreading through my body. He resumed his pace; I began to touch myself once more.

I wasn’t sure why I was smiling. Obviously the sex was great, but it was more than just good sex.

This was what it felt like to have sex with someone you love, a voice whispered into my mind. This was what it felt like to be with your mate.

My fingers increased their pace on my clit. I could feel my orgasm building. Based on his breathing, I knew he was almost ready to release himself inside of me – I didn’t think he actually used a condom. The thought made me shiver with delight. He was marking me, claiming me as his own, and I wanted that.

It hit me like a wave crashing into the shore. I didn’t even have time to warn him. He didn’t need one. His grip on me tightened and he kept up his pace, not hesitating for one second. I twitched and spasmed around his cock, completely out of control, completely helpless.

My head was light, so high in the sky, I was lost to everyone else. Mather grunted and I could tell he was close. Part of me didn’t even care. I know that was selfish, but I couldn’t help it. My entire body was composed of sensitive nerves. I couldn’t even take a breath without some kind of mixture of pain and pleasure overtaking myself.

I reached up, scratching Mather’s back. It wasn’t as passionate as it could have been, pre-orgasm, but I was doing my best. He probably didn’t even need my encouragement.

When he finally released himself inside of me, he shouted my name. I hoped no one was around to hear. Not just now, but when we started. I sure as hell hadn’t been quiet, and I hadn’t cared until just now. My body turned red just thinking about Carlos cleaning the kitchen with the window open to let in a nice breeze and hearing all of the sounds Mather and I had been making.

“Jesus Christ,” he said. “So that’s what it’s like to make love.”

I momentarily forgot my concerns so I could turn on my side and face Mather. “You’ve never made love before?” I asked, surprised.

He shook his head, his eyelids drooping. He pulled me close to his body and I clung to him, hook my ankle around his and resting my head on the crook of his shoulder. It was silly to think, but it almost felt as though his body was made for mine. I wondered if he felt the same way about me. Would it be cheesy if I hoped he did?

“I never saw a reason to,” he said. The sun was high over us now, warming our bodies. It was probably almost lunch time. “Even when I was young, I never wanted to get attached to anyone, especially when all anyone ever said was that I should be expecting to find my mate once the transition took over. I had my fun, of course, but nothing more than that. And once I was an adult, and created my own company, I needed something to ground me, to remind me that even with this beast inside of me, even with the market being the way it was, I could be in control of something.”

“That’s why you like inflicting pain on the girls?” I asked in a voice just above a whisper. I wasn’t planning on talking about this. I wasn’t sure if it was too early or if it would be one of those subjects we didn’t actually address – which would have been fine. But since he brought it up, I didn’t see the harm in it.

“I don’t think of it as pain,” he said. “And I don’t consider them girls. They’ve all been women, all within the legal age of consent.”

“You don’t have to tell me this,” I began.

“I want to. I think it’s important you understand... that I be honest with you about everything.”

I pressed my lips together. I was going to tell him, again, that he didn’t need to do that. There was no need. There was part of me that didn’t want to hear it.

But he wanted to share it.

That was the thing. He wanted to share it.

So I would listen, even if I didn’t like it. And as hard as it would be not to judge him out of hurt, jealousy, and insecurity, I would keep my thoughts to myself.

“I never connected to them,” he told me. “At the time, I thought that that was a good thing. If we didn’t connect, I couldn’t attach, and being attached to someone was not something I wanted. I didn’t think I was capable of loving. I didn’t want to love, and I hadn’t. I’m not going to lie, even now, I worry I might not know how to do it the way you expect from me. Creating a relationship like the one I had with the girls was easy and kept me distant while also engaging in a monogamous relationship with an end point and allowed me to take out my frustrations and need to dominate in a safe, constructive place.”

I nodded my head, my toes tracing his heel up and down. I was obsessed with touching him. I couldn’t stop myself even if I wanted to.

“But with you, it was different. I wanted to connect. Despite myself, I wanted to connect. And now, I obviously know why.”

I stopped tracing his skin, perking my brow. “And why is that?” I asked.

“Because you’re the one,” he said. “You’re my mate. I’m glad I didn’t run.”

“I’m glad you didn’t either.”

“And I’m glad you were open to this with me.” He laced his fingers through mine and brought my hand to his lips. “I know it’s not something you’re used to.”

I laughed and nuzzled into him.

“Whatever happens, I want you to know we’ll face it together.” His hand tightened around mine, implying he was serious about what he was saying and wanted me to know it. “I will be there every step of the way when it comes to making sure your mom gets the care she needs. And once we overcome that hurdle, we’ll overcome another one and then another. But we’ll do it together.”

I smiled at the words. “Together,” I agreed.

“Now, we should probably get inside,” he suggested, standing up and offering me his hand. “We’ve already given Carlos enough of a show. And I want to fuck you under the full moon and really claim you.”

I laughed again. “I’m looking forward to it,” I said as he led me to the house.

And I was.

* * *

The End

* * *

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