We are on to a magician from Waterford now. Sudden, and random or what? This is the world of the show, though, and everything is for the delight of the audience, both here in the performance centre and on the TV.
The cheers and noise from the fans never lets up. This audience is ravenous for its favourites.
Jess sings a brillo song about how much fun it would be for her guy to spend the day with her, like feed ducks, fly kites, eat ice cream, get scratched by cats when you try to pet them, blow up balloons and let them go. I can make up new words to old songs and Mum and I sing these new ditties to one another to make us smile. But I could never write a song of my own. At least I don’t think so. I love her song and her voice, which is big and strong, even though she is teenchy small. Where does that huge sound come from? She is a belter. The judges are well impressed too.
I text Dixie and Uggs: vote for jess 2, she v nice + v good
Suddenly it’s time for Delia, which means the show is almost over. It has just sped by and we are all now nearly hoarse with cheering. She comes on looking v miserable, wearing a Christmassy hat, shaped like the Cat in the Hat would wear. When she reaches the front of the stage, she blows a party horn and glumly goes, ‘Ho ho ho,’ and the audience are laughing and eating out of her hand. She tells the story of Christmas in her house and it’s like what happened in every house in the country and it’s so, so funny. The horror of people wearing stupid sweaters, and paper crowns from the crackers and trying not to kill one another because of being cooped up together for so long. The pong of mushy Brussels sprouts and turkey curry off everyone and everything. ‘You see,’ she says, ‘it’s a fine line between loving someone or something and loathing them.’ Then she looks at Danny Faller and says, ‘So, you like a spectacle, Dan? Well, these are spectacles.’ She puts her glasses on. ‘Like I say, it’s such a fine line. Thank you and goodnight.’
Cue MASSIVE cheering. Margo goes over to her and says, ‘Delia, not one but two acts from Oakdale. What’s in the air out there?’
‘Madness, Margo,’ Delia tells her. ‘And rain, lots and lots of rain.’
Dixie texts: delia thomas now ofishly a ledgebag!
It’s true, our Delia is a legend.
There is a fabbo recap of our TFX night on the huge screens around the arena and it’s thrilling to be reminded of all the acts, to see them again,* but also so exhausting to realize all of what has gone before. Then, while there’s a TV ad break, we all get voting on our phones and I presume the nation is doing that too!
After the break, Nicki sings her latest single and that’s spectac, BUT everyone really just wants more of tonight’s teens. They all come back on to the stage to hear the results. Jess and Delia stand with the Guitars and that looks natural and righteous to me. Hey, these are my peeps, for gorgonzola-sake.
Margo does the agonizing wait before she announces the acts that have gone through. It’s designed to be torture and it IS! In the silences as we wait there’s the odd shout of ‘we love you’ for various contestants.
‘In no particular order,’ Margo says, and then announces that Jess is through. We scream. Then a dance troupe. We scream. Then Delia. We scream. Then some tap-dancing twins. We scream. Why are the Guitars not through yet? A clarinet player makes it to the next round. We scream. The result might not be in any particular order but I bet it’s to wind up the tension. And it’s doing just that! Then, after a hundred thousand showbiz years, Ten Guitars are through and the audience screams and jumps up and down, and so do the guys onstage. I am wrung out, hoarse, feeling hot and clammy but so relieved and happy.
The play-off for the last place is between the magician and the contortionist. The contortionist goes home.
Then Margo tells us all to tune in next time for more teen battles and I can’t believe it all has to happen again. I’m wrecked after a day of it. I somehow think I might not be cut out for a showbiz life, whether on the road or simply backstage. I don’t think I have the energy for it!
All around me, everyone looks happy. One show down, and we are into the semi-final!
