Q: Why do birds fly south in winter?

A:   Because it’s too far to walk.

Q: What do you call a seagull when it flies over the bay?

A:   A bagel.

Q: What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot?

A:   A walkie-talkie.

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?

A:   A bird that will talk your ear off.

Q: What is the most uncomfortable of all birds?

A:   A wedgie-tailed eagle.

Q: Which bird is always out of breath?

A:   A puffin.

Q: What is a bird’s favorite part of the news?

A:   The feather forecast.

Q: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

A:   Because neither is made of cheese.

Q: What did the bird say at the sale?

A:   Cheap! Cheap!

Q: What do you call a cockatoo on an electric wire?

A:   A shockatoo.

Q: What do you call birds that are in love?

A:   Tweethearts.

Q: What do you give a sick bird?

A:   Tweetment.

Q: Why did the baby bird get in trouble at school?

A:   Because it was caught peeping at another bird’s test.

Q: Why did the owl say “Tweet tweet”?

A:   Because it couldn’t give a hoot.

Q: Why did the bird bring toilet paper to the party?

A:   Because it was a party pooper.