After school he’s back. “Do you want to go to Rallyburger on Friday?” The question mark shimmers with the ghost of what he doesn’t say: like we used to. It used to be an every week thing. It used to be fun.
All I want on the weekends now is Matt. Our quiet, our fun, our ability to pretend we’re on an island.
“I’m sorry,” I tell Alex, and I actually mean it. If I could turn back time, I’d love nothing more. But time marches on.
“You don’t ever want to hang out anymore,” Alex says. His voice is soft and sad, not angry. “It’s like the old you died with your sister. I hate it.”
I hate it, too.
“We’re still best friends,” I tell him.
“Are we?”
“Of course. Anyway, you’ve got Cindy now.”
“Yeah.” He shuffles his feet. “It’s not like I don’t have other friends. But I miss you.”
Damn. He’s got me slipping close to the edge of the man-feels. We’re going to end up hugging in the hallway like the massive nerds we are.
“I met someone, too,” I blurt out. “I’ve been spending time with … them.”
“Really? You’re, like, dating someone?”
“I didn’t tell you because … well, I didn’t tell anyone.”
“Who is it?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“It’s Matt Rincorn, isn’t it?”
I must be blushing. Alex nods knowingly.
“I thought there was something weird there. Not weird, just … weird. I sensed it.”
I’m dismayed. “Is it really obvious? No one’s supposed to know.”
Alex shrugs. “I know you. You’ve had a thing for him forever.”
“You knew?”
“Didn’t you know I had a thing for Cindy all along?”
Fair point. “Sure.”
Alex slugs my arm. “You can probably chill out about it being a secret. People are cool with Matt. They’ll be cool with you, too.”
If only it was that easy.