PUBLIC EXERCISE IN LOSERDOM (CONTINUED)

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight.” Matt wobbles toward me, unsteady on his feet. He trips across the rug and slams his shoulder into the wall. He leans there and crosses one leg over the other, like he meant to do that. “Dude, you showed up.”

“Alex talked me into it.” No need to get into the details that brought us here.

“Hey, great. Good to see you, man.” His drunkenness makes the casual tone sound exactly as forced as it is.

“Yeah, you too.”

Matt runs a hand through his hair and smiles at me. His floppiness is weirdly sexy. I remember Alex saying, “get a couple drinks in Cindy and anything might happen.” It occurs to me to push Matt back against the wall and kiss him, right here in front of everyone. But he wouldn’t stop me from doing that, even sober. I’m the one holding us back from it, always.

Anyway, he pushes himself against the wall, leaning his whole back on it and closing his eyes.

“Looks like someone’s had a pretty good time tonight.”

He opens one eye. “Hell no. This party’s a total snooze. I was about to peace out.”

Peace out or pass out, I wonder.

“Come across the street with me,” Matt whispers. “My dad’s not home.”

“I can’t leave. I’m here with Alex.”

“Alex has Cindy in the front hall closet. I’m thinking you can probably step away for a minute.”