We all have a false self and a true self. The false self is the protective aspect of our core personality that is designed to shield the true self from hurt and vulnerability. Clients on the histrionic spectrum learn to mask their true self with false presentations. These false self-presentations manifest as surface structure behaviors and are responses to unwanted and dissonant stimuli from friends, loved ones, employers, or anyone else within their world. This pattern of behavior is typically learned very early. Over time, the false self gains dominance and stunts growth.
The true self is the aspect of the individual’s core personality that experiences a genuine conceptualization of the world and his or her emotions without distortion. The true self wants to learn about life and grow, whereas the false self is trying to survive and protect the true self from pain. When working with a client and trying to assess and strengthen the true self, therapists must slow him or her down and have him or her learn to distinguish between the false self and true self reactions.
Next Steps
False Self/True Self Worksheet is an excellent exercise to use at various times throughout treatment as your client begins to lessen his or her false self and live his or her life more honestly through the true self.
False Self/True Self
Many people have two aspects of who they are, a false self and a true self. The false self is what is built up over the years to manage pain, sadness, disappointment, and other negative emotions. This false self often drives behaviors that produce negative outcomes, such as loss of love, employment, and relationships. An individual’s true self is an expression of what is genuinely inside himself or herself that is not influenced by the adverse factors of the false self. The true self is often honest and balanced in decision-making and is also representative of who one really is.
Directions: Identify a situation and write how you responded using your false self or true self. The object is to bring into awareness the various aspects of your true self. Expression of one’s true self often lessens depression, anxiety, regret, and other negative emotions. An example is provided.
| Situation | False Self | True Self |
| Disrespected by someone I considered to be a friend | Punched her, kicked her, and spit on her | Told her how her behavior made me feel and how I deserve to be respected |