The fall lasted only seconds before I felt the solid embrace of flesh. Cass had caught me around my legs, and I instinctively put my hands on his shoulders to stabilize myself. My forearm felt as if it had been seared with a hot iron. But that was naught compared to the growing ache in my chest.

“You know,” said Cass, “you didn’t have to fall off a mountain to land yourself in my arms.”

Rocks began to rain down from above, and Cass placed me on my feet and pushed me against the wall. He planted his hands against the rock above me, forming a protective arch with his arms, and I pressed my face into his shoulder as he tucked his chin over the top of my head. The ledge we were standing on was far narrower than the one from which I’d fallen, and I hoped he would not be struck by falling debris.

It was a full minute before his gloved hands touched my face. “Are you all right?”

I swallowed and nodded. “You?”

“None the worse for wear.”

We were both covered in dirt, Cass even more so than me. But he appeared uninjured. Apprehension filled me. Had Dorian had time to roll away from the edge before it crumbled?

“Maybe I should have gone first, Seph.” When I turned a guilty red, he grinned. “Not to worry. That ledge would have given way regardless. And I wonder if you could have caught me, had our situations been reversed.”

“I certainly would have tried.”

“And here I thought it was the thane who was reckless.”

“You can’t die.” I shakily tried to return his grin. “You haven’t told me what you want most . . . before the end, that is.”

A spark lit in his eyes, like the sun nudging over the edge of the sea at dawn. Gold rippled and danced over an endless expanse of bottomless green and blue. “So I haven’t.” He brushed the dust from my hair and opened his mouth to say more, but at a shout from above, closed it again.

“Sephone! Cass! Are you all right?”

“Aye,” Cass replied and moved slightly away from me. “Aye, Thane. Wait a moment. We’ll come to you.”

“The rock is fragile. If you stay there, I can lower the rope—”

“I can handle it,” Cass insisted, then he glanced at me, his sharp eyes taking in the way I cradled my forearm. “Hold on, Thane. Toss down the rope, and I’ll send her up.”

He was as good with knots as I’d expected, fastening the rope around me with remarkable deftness. There was barely enough room on the ledge for the two of us—but surely he did not need to stand so close. I retreated until I felt the cliff at my back, and a corner of his mouth hitched.

“Usually women enjoy being near me.”

“I’d enjoy it more if I hadn’t nearly plummeted to my death five minutes ago.”

“So you admit it.” He finished with a knot at my waist and stepped back to inspect his handiwork. He’d fashioned me a rough harness, an admirable feat with only rope at his disposal.

“Admit what?”

His eyes lifted to mine. “You enjoy it.”

My heart stuttered, still raw from what I’d seen in Dorian’s mind. Or rather, what I hadn’t seen. But mostly, it was due to the presence of the man in front of me. A startlingly attractive man, who I reminded myself, was only trying to unsettle me, for the same reason a child tosses a pebble into a pond—to disturb its serene surface, just because he can.

“Whatever my reply,” I said, indicating the dusty air surrounding us, “it is worth naught to you, since you won’t know if I’m telling the truth.” His customary green and black ribbons were nowhere in sight.

“I have other ways.” He shot me a flirtatious smile before beginning to climb again.

With the two of them manning the rope, it was an easy ascent to the ledge above, and I didn’t even require the use of my burned arm. I backed against the wall after Cass helped me over the edge, staring at the half of the ledge that had been shorn away.

“Are you all right?” I asked Dorian before he could speak.

He looked relieved, as if he wanted to embrace me. “There was just enough time.” He turned to thank Cass.

Had Dorian seen the meadow? Perhaps he had thought it of my making. But it was his—an unguarded dream of the future, as I’d often seen in others’ minds. He had looked at me, really looked at me, as if seeing me for the first time. And I didn’t think I’d imagined the softness in his eyes. Then shadows had crawled over the day, and I recalled his words.

It cannot be.

It was twilight when we finally reached the surface, each of us bearing an assortment of scraped and bloodied fingers and a thick layer of dust and grime. The stream near our chosen campsite was almost too cold to bathe in, but after growing up in Nulla, I cared more for cleanliness than warmth. When the men had finished with their ablutions, I set off to perform mine, taking Jewel with me. The wolf had rejoined us halfway up the cliff, wearing far less dirt than her two-legged companions.

She submerged herself in one of the deepest places, then paddled to a patch of sand where she briskly shook herself dry.

“If only it were that easy,” I said and proceeded to scrub myself clean. The task was a welcome distraction, since the forest around us pressed uncomfortably close. I remembered what the Orphneans had said about the wild beasts and shuddered. I would never forget the Nightmares as long as I lived.

I was preparing to return to the others when a voice pierced the trees.

“Sephone?” It was Dorian.

“Aye, I’m here.”

He appeared a few seconds later, his broad figure framed by the scored white flesh of a pair of birch trees.

“I came to see how you were doing.” His gaze went to my arm. “I wounded you further.”

“It was easily re-bandaged. And it will heal in time.”

“I am glad Cass was there to save you.”

But I saw the distrust in his eyes. “You still suspect Cass of being the traitor?”

He shrugged. “Who else could it be?”

“Perhaps it is someone under your very nose.”

“Bas, you mean.” He shook his head fervently. “Nay, if you knew what he had done for me, you would not question his loyalty.”

“What did he do?”

Dorian looked at me squarely. “He saved my life.”

“As Cass did for me.”

“It isn’t the same.” He held up a hand to stop me from speaking. “I will tell you, though you should know I break my promise to him in doing so.” He closed his eyes briefly. “The attack on Lida and Emmy—that night with Draven—was not the first assault on my family.”

I inwardly shuddered, the memory vivid in my mind.

“My work as Memosine’s ambassador often took me away from Maera. I earned many enemies that year, not the least of which was Draven. One night, when I was called away to Thebe to negotiate with the rest of the League, soldiers broke into my home, thinking I would be there. They were soldiers belonging to a rival lord who stood to benefit enormously from war, should it be waged. Since we are of a similar age and build, Bas pretended to be me. My wife and daughter were handled roughly, but thanks to Bas, were unharmed. And when the soldiers took the lord of the house prisoner, Bas was abducted in my stead.”

I didn’t need to touch him to see what was coming next.

“By the time I returned from my travels, Bas had been a prisoner for two weeks. He’d pretended to be me that whole time—he’d said it was easy to maintain the farce, since he’d observed me closely throughout the years he’d been in my service. But they discovered the ruse eventually, and they beat him”—he looked away for a moment—“badly.”

My heart twisted.

He went on, “I came for him, of course, as soon as Bear sent word of his capture. I intended to exchange myself for him, but our enemy imprisoned us both. We shared a cell until Arch-Lord Lio intervened and freed us. And though it was Bas who risked death for me, he considered it was he who owed me a debt, since he had not been able to prevent the soldiers from entering my home and seizing my family. I assured him to the contrary, and rewarded him as I saw fit, but to this day, he still counts his bravery as failure. Even after I freed him, he insisted on serving me to repay what he considered he owed.”

“Then Bas—”

“Was once a slave, aye. As was Bear.” He shook his head. “Their family belonged to my grandfather. He should have freed them decades ago.”

His eyes went to me again. “That’s not all of it, Sephone. The night the wolf bit you—when I had no strength left of my own—it was Bas who carried you the rest of the way to safety.”

I started. Bas had carried me? I had to put my suspicions of the bodyguard to one side . . . at least for now. “If not Bas, then who?”

“I know naught of Cassius Vera except what he chooses to reveal to us.”

“He is honest, Dorian.”

“Aye,” Dorian snorted, “about his dishonesty.”

“I saw into his mind, remember? As clearly as I saw into yours.”

He stilled, and I bit my lip. I hadn’t intended to speak of what I’d seen, especially of the meadow.

“What are you saying, Sephone?”

I was dimly aware that Jewel had left the sandy bank and was perched on a mossy stone behind Dorian. The stream rushed on with its lively chatter, and a bird called to another in the branches above our heads. But all I could see was Dorian—as he’d been in the meadow, before the shadows. So different from the man who stood before me now.

“I think you know.” I wished I had some of his courage to put my feelings more boldly. It was the vaguest of statements, yet I could see he understood . . . and that he already knew. He was an empath, of course. He hadn’t missed the warmth in my fingers as I hung from the clifftop. He must know that it had only ever happened with him. Or rather, because of him.

I watched him struggle with himself and saw his answer before he put it to words. “It is impossible.” His voice was soft and gentle. “Even if I . . .” He broke off and his tone became decisive. “It was only a dream, Sephone.”

“It felt real to me,” I said back, my heart breaking. Nothing I’d nurtured in the hidden places of my heart for Regis had wounded me so deeply as this rejection. And from this man who felt like the other half of my soul.

“I am a shadow,” he told me, “and you are light. By our nature, our very definition, we cannot occupy the same space.” He came closer, until he was standing before me. He bent and kissed my cheek. “We will find the Reliquary, and with the new life it gives you, you will share your light with someone who makes it brighter. Who is the best for you.”

You are still young, was what he meant. My cheek flamed with warmth where he had touched it as I looked into those kind eyes—the same eyes I remembered from the day on the ice, when he’d given me the breath from his own lungs. And I knew instinctively that, regardless of anything he felt for me and whatever his true reasons for pushing me away, he would not be swayed.

There was nothing more to say. Fighting back tears, I turned away, closed my eyes, and waited for him to leave. After a long moment, I heard his boots on the undergrowth, slowly moving away. When I finally opened my eyes, Jewel was watching me, and I flattered myself that it was sympathy pouring from her eyes and not disdain.

Tears slid unchecked down my cheeks. The pain shocked me. It seemed worse than anything else I’d endured—heavier than any burden I’d carried. I shoved it down as hard as I could, almost doubled over at the thorns that pricked my hand. I took a shuddering breath. It would hurt, aye. There would be splinters aplenty. But I would go on.

It was the only thing I knew how to do.