Chapter 10

Darkness came swiftly and with it a deepening of the chill. The country road had not yet led to civilization, though she could feel its pulse over the next set of wind-brushed hills. Her feet turned away, still seeking Erica in the rolling coastal landscape.

She had selected the left-hand route at a fork in the road several miles back. The increasing dark was not a problem—mer vision had its uses, even out of water. She was still startled, however, when her path rounded a curve and was completely blocked by a wide golden gate. It was obviously electronically locked and secure, though still decorative. The narrow bars were wide enough to peer through, but only a cat could have slipped past. She could see no house or lodgings beyond the curving drive, but Erica was there, somewhere.

The drive was gravel, but marked by clumps of weeds. What she could see of the gardens was unexpectedly wild. Bushes looked as if they had once been clipped and manicured, but more recently left to grow freely.

There was no sign or street number, just a telephone box she presumed would announce her presence to the occupants of whatever remote manor lay out of sight. She could not speak so that was useless to her. She could probably entice the gates to open but humans and mer alike did not care for unwanted guests. Perhaps that was not a bad idea, she thought. If she could get arrested, she would be prevented by force from being with Erica.

There might be a time when she was desperate enough to try that, but she had to at least see Erica first. She had to know if it was possible to touch and not fall into bed.

She didn’t know what to do about the locked gate. She waited for an hour for a car to come or go, any sign of life to offer her a legal way to get inside.

Ruefully, with what was left of her humor, she acknowledged that Ariel, Seventy-Seventh Daughter to Queen Vellia, was not equipped for this situation.

The cold worsened and fog settled around her, quieting even the sound of wind moving the branches overhead. She felt the cold, too, which surprised her. Mer swam with icebergs and relished it. It had to be the infection, the unending desire, and her ordeal in the grotto. She had been drained, and felt so empty except for the ache.

Erica was close and she could feel it. To walk away, even for the night, would take more strength than she had.

She was as imprisoned as she had been in the grotto, only this time the echoes were the song of her longing matching the song she could feel inside from Erica.

I need you, Ariel, want to be with you. To feel your touch again, drown in your voice.

Ariel could not help but respond with her own deep wishes. I’m here, Erica. Look for me and you will find me.

The scuff of a shoe on the drive brought her to her feet. There was a figure in the darkness, wrapped in black.

Her body knew it was Erica.

She sprang to the gate, unable to keep herself from thrusting her hands through it. So close…so close. To touch…so close.

Out of the dark, Erica said calmly, “Go away.”

Ariel wanted to call out, to beg. She did not care one whit that mer weren’t supposed to beg. She would beg, if only she could use words. She stretched her arms as far as they would go, reaching. She couldn’t bear being so close and not touching. How could Erica just stand there?

“I don’t want you here. I don’t know what you did to me, but I will have no more of it.”

Ariel turned her hands palms up and slowly slid to her knees, a supplicant, pleading. Erica’s words were firm and she meant what she said, Ariel could tell. But her face was in shadows, and Ariel still heard the inner turmoil and longing that was at odds with her order for Ariel to go away.

“I’m sick to death of you. Of thinking about you, wondering where you went, how you could leave me like this, addicted to you. So go.”

If only she had words, Ariel could explain, could at least answer the questions. She fought down a tearful moan. Open the gate and take me in your arms. We will both feel better for it. We have to, because feeling the way we do now is unbearable.

Erica took a step closer. Ariel could almost make out the strong line of her nose and jaw. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

Ariel shook her head violently.

“Then why are you here? Why can’t you just leave me be? I was better this last little while. Getting over it finally.” Erica’s voice thinned with unshed tears. “You have no idea. No mercy, do you? Leave! Or I’ll call the cops.”

Ariel slumped back on her haunches, and held the bars of the gate in her hands. Every moment she could see Erica and not actually touch her seemed to double the agony. Her brain felt as if it was boiling.

Another scuff of shoe on the cement made her look up. Erica had moved closer, and her face was now visible in the dim light.

Ariel held in her gasp, but just barely. Erica’s face was etched with pain, the hair at her temples stark white. But it was her eyes that shocked Ariel most. The sharp, tantalizing green was gone. Silver for age, silver for madness, Ariel thought, now she has my eyes and I have hers. My recklessness or Laveena’s spite, what does it matter?

I should go, leave her. Let her at least believe she can overcome this. But Ariel could not make herself go.

“Why won’t you leave?” Erica took another step. “Why does it hurt so much to remember you? Why does it hurt to look at you?”

Ariel could only shake her head.

“Answer me!” Erica came two steps closer, her heartbreak transmuting to anger.

Answers wouldn’t comfort Erica for long. Ariel rested her forehead on the cold bars. How had she thought Erica would happily accept Ariel into her life, into her arms—and take no for an answer? She couldn’t think. Her mind overflowed with images of Erica’s hands on her body. Her mouth watered at the memory of Erica’s wetness in her mouth.

The queen had said the whole point was for Ariel to break. Something was breaking. She was just a salmon. Maybe if she threw herself hard at the very thing that would destroy her she would find a way to go on, to save herself.

She rose slowly and opened her court jacket. She let it fall to the ground around her feet. She grasped the hem of the shirt and pulled it roughly over her head.

“Oh please Please don’t.” There were tears in Erica’s eyes to match the choking sound in her voice. “You really don’t have any mercy, do you? What do you want from me?”

The cold bit into Ariel’s already chilled body. She kicked off the shoes and winced at the cold pavement. She heard Erica whimper as she unbelted the too long trousers, and another whimper as she pushed them down her hips.

She stood naked, offering only one thing as she pressed her body to the frigid bars. She extended her hands as far beyond the bars as she could reach, fighting the shivers that were making her knees threaten to buckle.

“No, no,” Erica was repeated, “please no. Don’t do this, please. I can’t. I can’t.”

Ariel tried to say with her eyes, her offered body, her pleading hands, that she needed Erica to touch her. Touch was the only comfort they could have.

“Go away!” Erica knocked Ariel’s hands down as she lunged at the gate. Ariel braced herself for Erica’s strike.

Erica cried out when her fingertips touched Ariel’s face. Ariel felt a wave of faintness at the effort it cost her not to scream.

Not pain…ecstasy.

Erica’s hands cupped her face and then Erica was kissing her hungrily through the bars, her mouth nearly savage. Ariel filled her hands with Erica’s hair, holding back the moans building in her throat. Her mervoice wanted to sing, but Ariel held that in as well. She touched Erica’s cheeks, her neck, her shoulders. After the torture, any pleasure was welcome. After the day of infection, touching Erica was clearly the only thing that would help.

She felt Erica’s hands on her breasts, fondling them where they pressed between the bars. Her pelvis arched and she longed for Erica to have her again. All her thoughts circled in a whirlpool of need until the only focus was her desire for Erica. She could not even remember what it had been like to have control over her body.

Erica’s hands left the exploration of her breasts, her ribs, her hips, and in the minute it took to open the gate all the pain returned. Erica caught her hands and pulled Ariel into a full embrace, and the ecstasy came back, heady, driving, inescapable. Then Erica pushed her away.

“Get dressed.”

Numbly, Ariel obeyed. Erica wasn’t saying she had to go. She would do anything to stay. She dressed quickly and looked hopefully at Erica as her heart pounded against her ribs.

Erica’s eyes were burning with a mixture of lust and despair. Ariel could read it easily because her own gaze matched it. Finally, Erica said, “Follow me.”