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By the following afternoon, everyone had left the island. Alex. All the Marinos - Ricardo, Giana, Bella, Jake, little Mario. The Nonnos and Nonnas. And Tom too.
Lana lay in her room, staring up at the ceiling.
For the first time in days, she realized she felt ... lonely. It was a strange feeling. Hollowness emptied her chest. A sadness darkened her soul. On any other day, she might simply have hopped on the scooter to explore more of the island. But now ... everything was different. What else was left for her on Capri?
Flipping open her laptop, she headed to a booking site and scheduled a flight home to New York. The earliest flight she could catch was the following morning. An early flight out of Naples airport at an excellent price. It was sooner than she had anticipated. Why should she stay? Without hesitating, she hit “book”.
The knock at the door had her almost faint with surprise. Who could it be? No call came from beyond. No voice. Her heart suddenly leaped in her chest. Not Alex? She thought. Surely, not Alex? And yet ... there was a chance.
Before she could catch herself, she was bounding off the bed, running towards the door and yanking it open, as though it would be his face thought she’d see.
“Buon giorno, signora!” said Giuseppe brightly. “You are well this morning?”
Though she was a little disappointed, Lana couldn’t help but smile. “Ah, good morning, Giuseppe,” she said. “How are you? I’m surprised to see you here.”
Giuseppe’s eyebrows knitted a little as he looked at her. “I think the signorina is ... how to say it ... a little blue today?”
Lana nodded. “Yes, a little.”
“Ah, but there is no need to be blue on this beautiful Capri morning,” he said, smiling. “Especially when I am here to make a small delivery to the signorina.” Giuseppe reached into his pocket. “From Signore Alex, with warm compliments,” he said. She held out her hand. Two sets of keys dropped neatly into her palm. “One is for the villa,” Giuseppe said with simplicity. “The second is for Signore Alex’s car.”
Lana felt her heart almost give way. “These are for ... what?” she asked, her voice trembling.
Giuseppe laughed at her surprise. “Signore Alex said you might be a little ... unsure,” he said. “But the instructions he left are clear. You are to enjoy yourself at the villa for as long as you decide to stay on the island.” He nodded and gave a little bow. “And you are to enjoy the car, as well. I did enjoy it very much, just now, driving down from the villa.” He winked.
“Giuseppe ... I ... don’t know what to say,” she braced herself against the door, feeling like she might fall over.
“Oh, and Signore Alex has also taken care of your bill, here at the bed and breakfast,” he said looking around. “As well as the bill for your, ah, scooter. Scooter number two, I mean. So with all of this done, the signorina is free to move into the villa when she wishes. And Signore Alex said he hoped that would be soon. I will take the scooter back to Signore Esposito right now, pronto, if you give me the keys? I think the scooter is nice, of course. But the car is better.”
“Giuseppe ...” she smiled, handing him the scooter keys from their hook on the wall. “Thank you, I don’t know what to say ...”
“Is nothing, Signorina,” he said and with a bow and smile, he was gone.
Her hands on the wheel, Lana eased the XL forward out of the parking bay at the side of the road. The engine gave a little rumble, hinting at what it was capable of, if only given the chance.
It was exquisite, feeling her hands on the wheel. Sitting where Alex had himself sat, just hours earlier. “Be careful with this ...” Lana told herself. “Be careful ...”
And yet, she could feel the machine egging her on, daring her to put her foot down a little harder, take the corners a little more sharply.
“Maybe tonight,” she said to herself, imagining driving the car as Alex had, at midnight, through the empty, winding streets of Capri.
Before long, she was rolling up the long driveway toward the villa. She opened the garage then eased the car in between the other Marino classics, looking around in awe, and at the same time, feeling her heart sink that he was alone there, totally and utterly alone.
Inside, she walked from room to room. The sound of her shoes echoed loudly over the marble floor. Magnificent though it was, the villa was just a shell. There was no Alex. No Ricardo. No Bella. No laughter. No joy. Just an exquisite mansion, with just one lonely heart roaming around inside it.
Finally, able to stop herself no longer, Lana strode upstairs to Alex’s bedroom. It was impeccably clean. Perfectly made up. So perfectly, in fact, that all traces of him were gone. The designs had been taken down from the studio. The cupboards stood empty. All vestiges of him ... suddenly nowhere to be found.
Looking around the room, Lana felt her heart clench. Where was he, now? What was he doing? And, more importantly, what had she done?
Suddenly, she felt exceptionally stupid, refusing his offer to come back with him to Naples. Exceptionally stupid, cold and hard-hearted. He had offered his world to her, his heart open, and she had said no ...?
She threw herself on his bed, searching for the scent of him on a pillow, in the sheets, but found nothing. Nothing at all. No trace.
The tears came slowly, then fast.
She closed her eyes and wept.
Just then, there was a soft knock at the door.
“Signorina Davis?”
The voice was unfamiliar. A woman’s voice.
“Yes .. I ... one moment.”
She walked to the door, wiping her eyes, and opened it.
Before her stood one of the Marino’s house staff. A kind-looking young woman in a black and white uniform. “Signorina Davis? I am sorry to, ah, interrupt,” she said, in careful English. “Only, Signore Alex said to let you know that we are here. The staff, I mean, is here. If you need anything.”
Lana swallowed. So he’d left her the villa, his car, and a house full of staff? What did he think she was going to do? Hold a banquet?
She smiled uncertainly at the young woman. “I, uh ...” She brushed her hair aside. “What is your name please?”
“Maria,” the young woman replied with a smile.
“Maria, it’s very good to meet you. And please ... call me Lana,” she said. Her mind was racing, she wasn’t quite sure what to do with ... staff. And how many of them were there? “Maria, it is very kind of you all to stay here, in case I need anything ... but I’m not sure I would know what to ask your help with. It’s only me here.”
The young woman smiled. “I understand,” she said. “But if there is anything we can do ... please, do tell us.” She nodded. “Also, ah, I nearly forgot. The refrigerator is full of food. The cupboards too. It is always like this, after the Marinos have been here. Signore Alex says to help yourself to whatever you want. He says there is enough food to feed many families ... if it is not used, it will go to waste.”
And suddenly, the idea came. A bright and shining thing. From nowhere. “Perhaps there is something you can help me with,” she said.
It was rare for Lana to be overcome with overriding, blinding passion. And yet, without thinking, without warning, she was suddenly in the full force of it. She couldn’t help but do what she did.
After giving a few instructions to the staff, Lana hopped back in the XL. It was late morning. Just enough time, she thought. Just enough. Without thinking, she raced down to the marina. The XL hugged the curves as she drove, responding nimbly to her every movement, her every instruction. If only Alex could see her now, she marveled, slowing to look for a parking space near the main promenade. If only ...
A car was pulling out. Gratefully, she eased the XL into the space it left.
Soon, she was walking fast, maybe even jogging a little, to the bistro. Giuseppe was standing outside, as always. His eyes softened when he saw her. But there was also a hint of questioning in them. “Signorina? You are, ah, joining us for lunch?” he asked. “How is the car? The villa?”
Lana shook her head. “Both are wonderful,” she said. “And I won’t be joining you for lunch, I’m afraid. Today, I’ve come to ask something else.”
Her next stop was the rental agency, where she’d hired the little white scooter. Inside behind the counter stood Signore Esposito. His face brightened when he saw her. “Ah, signorina, but your bill is already paid?” he said. “And the scooter is here, with me? Is all okay?”
Without hesitation, Lana began to explain. She started by saying just how much the marvelous little machine had meant to her during her time on the island. Then she asked something more. Signore Esposito’s eyes widened. Soon, he was nodding in agreement.
Her final stop was at the BnB. She knocked hastily on the door and Signora Emilia emerged after a moment.
“Signorina Davis?” asked Signora Emilia, looking up at her with vague concern. “You forget something in your room?” The old lady was trying hard with her English. Lana felt herself fill with tenderness for the woman and her kind, kind heart.
Lana spoke slowly as she explained, stopping to clarify anything Emilia didn’t understand. She wished her Italian was better as she spoke. Wished Giuseppe was there to translate ... but in the end, the old woman was smiling, smiling and nodding. Before Lana turned, the old woman stepped forward and gave her a hug.
By six, the outside table on the piazza was beautifully laid. The staff had found some extra tables in a storage room and added them on, making enough room for all who would need to be accommodated, though no one knew, precisely, how many that was. White tablecloths overlapped one another, creating an unbroken line of sight. The glasses and cutlery had been shone. The table was immaculately set.
At Lana’s instruction, Maria had taken some flowers and vines from the garden, creating a beautiful burst of color and scent that ran the length of the table.
Her hands on her hips, Lana surveyed the scene. It was beautiful. Like a fairytale. And more than that ... it was right.
With the light just beginning to fade, Lana heard the first car pull up into the drive.
She smiled, seeing who it was. Giuseppe, with his wife seated beside him and their two children in the back.
“Signorina Davis,” this is my wife Gabriella, and my children Teresa and Gino, he said, proudly, stepping out of the car to greet her. Lana could tell that the whole family had put on their very best clothing for the occasion.
“Welcome,” she said. “It is lovely to meet all of you.”
“It is very, very kind of you to invite us here tonight,” said Giuseppe’s wife in careful English.
“It is only my pleasure,” said Lana. “Your husband has been so helpful to me these past days ... I don’t know what I would have done without him.”
Giuseppe gave her a secret smile. “If only Signore Alex could have been here to see ... ah, all this ...” he said. “I think ... no ... I know how he would have felt.”
Lana nodded, the mention of Alex’s name making her heart swell. “Yes,” she said. “It would have been wonderful to have him here. All the Marinos, in fact.”
With a promise to help her translate when she needed it later on, Giuseppe and his family walked off to explore the gardens.
The next arrival was Signore Esposito, along with his wife and daughter. He chuckled and smiled, wide-eyed as they all stepped from their car. “Such a beautiful, beautiful villa!” he exclaimed, striding up to her. “Yours?”
Lana shook her head. “Just for tonight,” she said.
The final arrival was Signora Emilia. She was driven by her daughter and son in law, though she took her elderly husband’s arm once they alighted.
“Buona sera,” she said to Lana, kissing her on the cheek.
“Buona sera,” Lana echoed.
After greeting the family, all four of them moved off into the house, looking around, chattering, exclaiming.
By seven, it was time to eat. In truth, Lana was a bundle of nerves.
Earlier that afternoon, she had asked the staff simply to make the dishes they knew best, dishes that would help use up the food left in the house. She had been a little embarrassed, not knowing what more to say, what further instructions to give. She imagined Giana moving about the kitchen, knowing exactly how each dish should turn out, making sure everything was prepared to perfection. She could do none of that.
And yet, as if by magic, on the stroke of the hour, the staff poured from the house, carrying heaps of gorgeous, delicious-looking plates of food out onto the piazza. Spaghetti alla Nerano, ravioli Caprese, Scialatielli ... Lana’s heart swelled as the dishes were presented. She smiled broadly as the staff took their seats at the table right after, just as she had asked them to do.
Every guest had a thin flute of prosecco poured for them. It was time.
Lana slowly rose from her place at the table, standing exactly where Ricardo had stood just a few nights prior. The voices slowly lowered. All eyes came to rest on her.
“As someone who's never ... had a big family, I don’t really know how they work,” Lana began self consciously, looking around the table, her voice trembling a little. She had asked Giuseppe to translate for her earlier in the evening and he had happily agreed. Now, each sentence was echoed in perfect Italian. “You see, when I was growing up, it was mostly just me and my mother. No Papa, no brothers and sisters. No Nonnos or Nonnas.” She took a breath, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “And yet ... since I have been here, in Capri, I have found myself a part of a beautiful family ... a bigger, more warm and caring family than I could ever have hoped for.” She smiled. “Not only do I mean the Marinos, whose beautiful home we are fortunate to enjoy this evening. But among all of you, who have so generously opened your hearts to me in a hundred different ways. To Signore Eposito: for your caring heart and the beautiful scooter that made my time on Capri a true adventure, thank you. To Signora Emilia: for all your care and for giving a confused tourist a safe and beautiful place to stay on the island, thank you. To the wonderful staff here at villa Marino, thank you for this beautiful meal. And finally, to Giuseppe ... for your big heart and all your help, in every way, at almost every step of this journey. Thank you. Your kindness means more than you know.” She took a breath, watching as Giuseppe translated a little embarrassedly about himself. “Forever I will say that on Capri, I found a true fairytale ...” She raised her glass, a film of tears suddenly blurring her vision. “To life, to love. And to family ... whatever form it may take. Salud.”
Giuseppe translated. And then: silence. The guests merely looked from one to another.
Oh my God, Lana thought, I’ve messed up. I’ve bombed. She felt her cheeks beginning to glow red hot. Her mind whirled. How could she have been so foolish, she wondered. How could she have thought—
Then, suddenly, the first “Salud!” rang out. It was from Signore Esposito, who’d risen from his place at the table, a broad smile on his face, his glass aloft. “Salud!” he cried again, beaming.
“Salud!” the next cheer came from Signora Emilia, who started giggling shly afterward, her husband clasping her hand and laughing a little himself.
The next salud came from Giuseppe. “At this table, we are all family,” he said, nodding, his face filled with pride and happiness. “It is beautiful to be here with everyone tonight. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! Thank you Signorina for bringing us all together. You remind us what is important. What makes life truly worth living.”
***
“She ... what?” Alex’s eyes grew wide when he heard the news.
“A banquet, signore. A feast. To thank us. Thank us all. And she spoke, your signorina, so beautifully. So from the heart. It was ... magical. I cannot explain.”
Just a few minutes later, after he understood as much of the story as he could, Alex put down the phone to Giuseppe. Suddenly, his heart brimming, unable to control himself, he strode from his own office and burst into his father’s at Marino Automotive HQ. Like a flood, he told his father everything. The words simply tumbled out.
Ricardo’s eyes widened then softened as he listened to his son. He listened about the dinner Lana had organized at the villa the night before ... about her book ... and about everything else too.
“I ... I just can’t imagine a life without her,” said Alex, raking his hands through his hair. “I asked her to come back here, with me, to Naples. And yet, she refused.”
Ricardo beamed. What a remarkable woman this was, he thought. Beautiful. Soulful ... In truth, he could imagine no one better for Alex. His heart swelled with emotion and pride. “I think you are in love, my boy,” he said, his eyes shining, memories of his own blossoming love for Giana as a young man flooding through him. “More than that, I think you will never again find a woman like this.” He nodded. “You are trying hard, I can see. And I have great respect for that. But now, you must take the next step. And then the next. You must keep going until you win this woman’s heart and she is with you. Whatever you must do, do it.”
***
The crowded streets of New York were passing by. Lana looked through the grubby glass of the cab’s windows and wondered how she felt about being back in the city.
On the plane ride home, she’d made a reservation at a hotel just off Times Square. Just a few days’ stay, she’d told herself. Until things were clearer. She needed to sort out things with Tom, and start moving her stuff. More than anything, she needed to sort out her head.
“Back from vacation?” asked the cabbie.
“Yes. Italy. Capri.”
“Hey ... wow. Enjoy it?”
“Very much so.”
“Scenic, right?”
“Yes.”
“And they do that ... uh, lemon drink there. What’s it called?”
“Limoncello.”
“That’s it. Well. Welcome back to the Big Apple. Glad to be back?” he asked, a little ironically, just as they rolled to a halt in a traffic jam.
––––––––
When Tom answered the phone a few hours later, his voice was cool, reserved, aloof. Looking out of the window of her hotel room, Lana said what she had to, about moving out, about how she needed to pack up her things.
His tone was formal, a little icy. “And where will you be moving to?” he asked.
“The truth is, I don’t know, just yet, Tom. I’ll probably put my things in storage, while I figure everything out. Right now I’m staying at a hotel.”
“Going to cost you.”
“Don’t tell me.”
He paused. “You could stay here, you know, for a short while, while you pack up.”
“Thank you. But ... I think it’s best if I don’t.”
“Alright. Your choice. Anything else?”
“Yes ...” she said, looking down on the silent city below, “I wanted to say ... I’m sorry, Tom. About that evening in the restaurant. The wine. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s done,” he said.
“I’m also sorry about you and I. That we didn’t make it. That things ended like they did. I hope ... I hope you’re okay.”
He paused. “I’m ... well. Let’s just say I’m dealing with it. Slowly. Some days are better than others.” He exhaled. “Anyway, you’ve got your key. You can start packing up whenever you want. Maybe sooner, rather than later.”
“Yes. I agree. I’ll start the day after tomorrow. Get a U-Haul.”
“Okay. Well, goodbye, Lana.”
“Bye Tom.”
She rang off. At least Tom had been polite, civil. She put the phone on the nightstand and lay back on the bed.
She marveled. How strange it felt to be in a hotel in New York. After all this time, she’d come to regard the city as home. But was it? What made a place home, anyway? She rose and looked out of the window, taking in the skyscrapers, the lines of traffic working their way along the streets below. Over the years, it had all become so familiar ... but was New York her true home, after all? And if not, where was it?
She let her eyes gently fall closed. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to think about all that. She’d scheduled a meeting with Heidi for the next morning and she was both excited and nervous. She was meeting not only the person who would help her work find an audience, but she was meeting a personal hero ...
She shut her eyes tighter. She knew she could use all the rest she could get.
***
“This weather!” exclaimed Heidi the following morning, looking out the window of her seventeenth-floor office at the pouring rain. “Been like this on and off for days.”
Lana smiled. In person, Heidi was even more glamorous than her photos had let on. She wore a beautifully tailored blue collared shirt and white slacks that flared from the knees and flowed with her form. Her blonde hair was neatly lobbed and perfect pale gold. She wore rings in three fingers, and had a chunky necklace around her neck.
Everything about her - her movements, her speech, her laughter - said she knew exactly what she was doing. That she was in perfect control. Lana was so glad to have someone like her on her side. Particularly as she felt less and less in control of the way her own life was going ...
“You say you’re just back from Capri?” asked Heidi.
Lana nodded. “Yes, I just got back yesterday.”
“Beautiful place. I love it there. Love it to bits. Gorgeous ocean, gorgeous restaurants, gorgeous men ...” She winked. “You were traveling alone, or with someone?”
“My fiance,” she said. “Well, now, ex-fiance.”
“Ex? Good heavens. So the trip turned him into an ex?”
“Yeah ...” Lana sighed. “It’s funny, the vacation was actually meant to fix our relationship. Not leave it in tatters. But realized we weren’t meant for one another. So I ended things.”
“Well ...” said Heidi, “if it’s the wrong man, it’s the wrong man.” She nodded. “Good for you, I say.”
Lana smiled a little weakly.
“But, New York’s home, right?” Heidi checked something on her laptop. “Yes. I think that’s what you put down in your submission. Ah. Here it is. Upper East Side.” She tapped the screen with a perfectly French manicured fingernail. “Fancy home address, this, Miss Davis.”
There it was, again. The question of home. “Well, I’ve been living in the city for the past few years with my fiance, I mean, well, ex,” Lana explained. “But I grew up in Rhode Island. I’ve lived elsewhere too. So, as to whether New York’s my home ...”
“You’re not so sure,” said Heidi, nodding. “I can understand. My divorce had me wondering the same thing, many years ago. Remind me, Lana, how old are you?”
“Twenty-eight.”
Heidi laughed, and clapped her hands. “Hah! A baby, just a baby! My word. Lana Davis, just twenty-eight.” She smiled. “Well, honey, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, as they say. Plus you’ve got talent. Just the two things you need to craft your own story, exactly as you want it, from here on out.”
Lana blushed. She liked Heidi in person even more than she’d anticipated. And she was grateful for all that she said.
Heidi’s eyebrows suddenly knitted. “So ... forgive me if I’m prying, but who are you staying with ... if things between you and your ex are, well, not all they could be? A friend? Family?”
Lana felt herself cringe a little. “Actually, I’m staying at a hotel right now. I’m not sure for how long. It’s just until ... I find a place. Or make up my mind about what to do next.”
“And pay New York hotel prices?” Heidi’s eyes were wide. “Honey, you’ll go bankrupt in a day or two! Unless, of course, I can get you an advance from a publisher - and fast. Even then ...” She winked.
Lana smiled. “It’s alright. I don’t mind. I guess I’ve come to believe in walking through the fire.”
“Making your bed and lying in it? The only way out is through?” Heidi’s mind ran a mile a minute. “Say,” she said. “I just had an idea. Me and my husband, that is, my second husband,” she twinkled, “are off to Paris for a week on Wednesday. These days, my office goes where I do. So I’ll still be working, of course, but I’ll be enjoying the patisseries and seeing la tour Eiffel. You could stay in our apartment, while we’re away, if you haven’t made another arrangement by then?”
Lana felt herself blush again, even more fiercely than before. “Heidi, I ... I could never take you up on an offer like that. I mean, you don’t even know me. I’m just your ... your client.”
“Nonsense,” said Heidi, shaking her head. “Besides, I have some of the finest clients in the world,” she added proudly. “The short of it is, I have a place, and you need one. And I know you better than you’d think, Lana Davis. I read your book in one go. I inhaled it. Breathed it in like oxygen. It would be my pleasure to have you stay in our apartment while we’re away. Or, should I say, while I’m working from Paris, and finding you a publisher for your book.”
Lana didn’t know what to say. Fairy godmothers, it seemed, could be found anywhere. Even in New York.
“Well, now that that’s all sewn up,” said Heidi, “let’s look into some of the paperwork you’ll need to sign.” She reached for a thin stack of papers on her desk. “First, I’ll explain how the whole agent thing works. Then we can discuss my fee.”
The next morning, Lana awoke early. She caught a cab to the U-Haul rental depot, hired one of their smaller trucks, then drove to Tom’s place after picking up some moving boxes en route.
When she turned the key in the lock, Lana prayed she’d find the house empty. And she did. As usual, Tom was already out at work.
By eleven a.m., Lana had already filled more than half the boxes she’d brought with her. She didn’t realize she had so much ... stuff. Not just clothes, but furniture, ornaments and ... books. The books, in fact, were the majority of the things she owned. Nearly all the books in the place were hers. Tom didn’t read much. He said he didn’t have the time.
By four o clock, Lana was dead tired. But, at least, it was done. She was just packing the last of the boxes into the rental truck when Tom’s car pulled up. She hadn’t expected him back so early. Then she realized he was back early on purpose.
He parked the car, an expert at even New York’s tightest spots. “Trying to give me the slip?” he asked, shutting the door and walking toward her.
“No. I just thought it would be easier ... being in and out while you were at work.”
“There still more boxes to pack in here?” he gestured towards the U-Haul.
“A few. In the living room. The last of it.”
“I’ll go get them.”
He was soon back on the sidewalk, a stack of boxes in his arms. Carefully, he placed them in the van, alongside the others.
“Truth is, I came back early because I wanted to see you, Lana,” he said, stepping back from the curb. “You were on my mind the whole day. It’s strange ... for days I thought you were the last person on earth I wanted to see. But then, after hearing your voice on the phone yesterday, well, I felt different.”
“It’s good seeing you, Tom,” she said. And she realized she meant it. He looked calm. Less stressed than usual. At peace. She wasn’t sure she knew him ... like this.
“Lana,” he began, “I wanted to say ... I’m sorry about how things turned out for us. And I also wanted to say ...” he took a deep breath, “that you were right. As things are, I can’t be the man you need me to be. Not close to it. You saw that and you were right. Totally. There’s stuff in my head I need to deal with. Lots of stuff. Stuff I need to deal with ... on my own. Know that I wish you only the best, whatever the world may have in store for you, and I have the feeling that might be big, big things.” He smiled. “Know that I care about you deeply, too. That will never change. If you need me, I’m here. Just pick up the phone. Don’t be a stranger, Lana Davis.” With that, he stepped forward and hugged her. It was a good hug, warm and close and caring.
“Tom, I wish you only the best too,” she said. “I hope you find what you’re looking for. It sounds like it will be an adventure, whatever happens.”
He gave her a smile. “Let me know if you’ve forgotten anything. And ... keep the key. Even if just as a keepsake.”
A few days later, Lana moved out of her hotel. “You know, my husband and I never had any children,” Heidi had said. “Lending you my place for a few days almost feels like having, well, a daughter stay over.”
In truth, the place was gorgeous. There was no other word to describe it. Three bedrooms, two baths. Tastefully and luxuriously furnished, with stunning modern art on the walls and plush wall-to-wall carpet. All the beds had at least 300 thread count sheets. All the mugs were fine bone china. It was an opulent space. Stunning. And more than that ... full of books. Instantly, Lana felt at home. Or as much at home as she could, in someone else’s place, and in a city she was still on the fence about.
The place was exquisite ... but what she needed to do there was not. She’d been avoiding it for days, but now she had to face the music, there was no getting around it.
Work.
Her old life as a copywriter had come back to her. There were floods of projects in her inbox from clients all over the country. Projects she’d said she’d attend to on her return from Capri. Projects that would soon go overdue.
Could she bear to do what was needed? Give them what they wanted to read? Even before they’d left for Capri, her work had left her tired and drained. And now, with all that had happened, she felt she could hardly bring herself to face up to it again. She was different, now. Entirely different. And she needed different work. Work that felt more meaningful. Work that made a change, a positive one, in the world.
Of course, there was her book ... But at the same time, she knew the statistics. Many novels, even in the hands of the world’s best agents, could sometimes take months to place with a publisher. And even if they were placed, there was no guarantee of an advance. Or, in fact, of any meaningful sales once they hit the shelves. It was all a gamble. A big one.
Meanwhile, copywriting, her daily grind, was regular work that produced a regular if humble income. Even if what she wrote didn’t seem to be doing much good in the world.
The rational side of her brain told her to just sit down and type out what she had to. The more passionate part of her brain told her to let it all go, float away, out to sea.
She settled on a compromise.
Just a few more days, she wrote to her clients. She needed just a few more days.
On Thursday, she met up with Bella in a cafe in Soho. They hugged instantly, grinning.
“If it isn’t Lana from New York!” said Bella. “How are you?” As ever, Bella was immaculately dressed. Her hair was drawn back in a chic chignon. She’d just come from work, where she was arranging a new collection for an exhibition.
Lana smiled. “It’s so good to see you, Bella.” Happy warmth came to her cheeks.
“So you’ve been back a few days?” Bella asked. “How did the big move out go?”
“Better than I expected. It was good seeing Tom. He seemed ... changed.”
“Well, good for him,” said Bella.
“Yeah.”
“So ... where are you staying now? At a friend’s?”
“At my, uh, agent’s place.”
“What?” Bella’s eyes were wide. “Wait. Lana. Hold on. There’s a whole lot here it seems I don’t know.”
And so, Lana told her. Told her all of it. By the end, Bella was laughing. “I had no idea that kind of thing happened!” she said, smiling. “Congratulations on hooking the agent of your dreams. And her apartment.” She winked. “What happens now?”
“Well, Heidi tries to find a publisher.”
“How long could that take?”
Lana sighed. “At least a few weeks. But months maybe. Publishing can be a slow-moving business.”
Bella nodded. “Art doesn’t move fast either,” she said. “But it moves mountains, in the end. Be patient. Everything will turn out alright. That much I know.”
Lana sipped her coffee.
“This has all been great, but you’ve been very quiet about one little thing,” said Bella. “A guy called Alex? Remember him?” She smiled, raising an eyebrow.
Since she’d returned to New York, she and Alex had spoken on the phone. They’d sent mails, texts, even done a video call ... But it was different. It wasn’t the same. Wasn’t ... enough. Was he slipping away? On the last call, he’d sounded a little stressed, too. A little distant. Distracted. She knew that his father’s decision about the business loomed, but she couldn’t quite reach him with her questions. Was he back to his old obsessions? Was she reading the situation correctly at all?
“Alex and I had a wonderful time on Capri,” she said, finally, to Bella. “It was ... well, it was one of the most remarkable experiences of my life.”
Bella smiled. “I heard about your little party at the end, too.”
Lana bit her lip. “Word travels,” she said.
“In Italian families, like wildfire,” Bella replied. “It was a wonderful thing to do, Lana.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Anyhow, is my brother still biding his time?”
Lana shook her head, a little unsure about what Bella meant. “I ... We’re figuring things out,” she said abstractly, even though it didn’t feel like they were. The truth was, after Capri, it felt like they’d both become part of their own separate worlds once more. He a part of his, in the heart of Italy, with an important job at a major company and friends and family he’d accumulated over a lifetime. And she was back in hers. In a city she’d known for a few years, with a job she’d grown tired of, no real home, and a book she’d written to try and save herself, to try and express what lay buried inside her ... Whatever that meant.
“I have a feeling it’s all going to work out, in the end,” said Bella with a knowing smile. “Just give it a little bit of time.”
“Funny,” said Lana. “You’re the second person who has said that to me in two days.”
“Maybe we’re both wiser than you think,” said Bella, winking.