DAY 4,500: Pinch yourself

You’re tempted to bail out of your relationship. The challenges outweigh the joys. You’re thinking, “This is too much work. Wouldn’t it be nicer if I had a little apartment where I could make popcorn at 2 a.m., drink a glass of wine, and avoid any and all emotional turmoil?”

Pinch yourself. Is that pain you feel, or just proof that you’re alive?

Strip away sex and other expectations; at the heart of this is friendship. You signed on for a journey. You can’t know how many times the train will stop, the detours, the duration of the trip, or even the destination.

It’s absolutely fine to leave when your partner:

• Doesn’t respect you

• Can’t beat an addiction or won’t try

• Cheats on you (not twice; once is enough)

• Raises a hand to you (end of story)

• Is a serial killer (or even a non-serial killer)

• Kicks a puppy