The next morning dawned sunny and warm, quite perfect for an outing. The prospect of a picnic did nothing for Sarah’s sour mood. She’d slept little and the last thing she wanted was to spend time near her husband.
She was relieved to see no sign of him as she seated herself in the landau across from Amelia. Amelia’s gaze took in Sarah’s expression and her own changed to sympathy. ‘Don’t look so distressed. I am certain everything will work out in time.’
‘Only if I never speak to him again,’ Sarah snapped. She had poured out the details of last night’s disaster into Amelia’s sympathetic ears. But not even Amelia’s assurances that he was only showing a very promising jealousy had soothed the hurt and anger she’d felt at his words.
Amelia started to say something and then a peculiar expression crossed her face. ‘I am afraid that will not happen. He is coming now.’
Sarah quelled the urge to duck. ‘Really.’ Instead, she stared straight ahead, intending to ignore him.
Dev stopped next to her. ‘Good morning, Lady Marleigh.’
Amelia smiled. ‘Good day. Are you perhaps planning to join our party?’
‘Yes.’ He turned, and Sarah was quite aware his eyes were on her face. ‘If my wife will permit me.’
She tightened her hands and looked pointedly at a spot over Amelia’s shoulder. ‘You may do as you please, my lord.’
‘May I? Then perhaps you will not object if I sit next to you.’
Sarah looked at him then. ‘If you must know, I do object.’
‘You may sit next to me, however,’ Amelia said with a mischievous smile.
Sarah shot her cousin a speaking glance, which Amelia ignored. Sarah turned her head away, determined not to pay the least heed to him. To her great dismay, he sprang into the carriage directly across from her. She pointedly shifted her position so she was across from Amelia. She had no intention of having his long legs anywhere near hers.
Jessica and Adam rode up next to them. Jessica cocked a brow at her brother. ‘You have decided not to ride today?’
‘No, I thought I would prefer the carriage.’ His gaze rested on Sarah’s face and, in spite of her desire to remain unaffected, she felt colour rise to her cheeks.
Jessica grinned. ‘A splendid idea.’
A loud meow distracted them. In one graceful movement, Merlin sprang up beside Sarah. He rubbed against her cheek and then settled next to her, folding his paws under him.
‘Sarah’s chaperon, I take it,’ Adam said. ‘Are you planning to bring him or does he run off?’
‘I suppose we could bring him,’ Sarah said. He looked quite settled as if a ride in a carriage was an everyday occurrence. ‘He likes carriage rides. If he looks as if he wants to jump out, we can bring him back.’
‘Or put him in a picnic basket,’ Dev said.
She directed an icy frown at him, forgetting she had vowed not to look at him. He merely grinned, which made her feel even more cross.
Dev gave the coachman the signal to start and they were off, Adam and Jessica riding alongside. Sarah stared resolutely at the scenery, allowing the conversation to be carried by the others. She was undoubtedly behaving childishly, but the hurt was still too fresh. And after last night she had no idea why he was in such a good mood or why he kept staring at her in such an annoying fashion.
Her temper hardly improved by the time they reached the tower. The party from Kentwood was already there. Dev helped Amelia out and then held his hand out to Sarah.
She looked down her nose at him. ‘I am perfectly capable of alighting on my own,’ she said coldly.
He looked up at her, a little smile touching his mouth. ‘I’ve no doubt of that. But I wish to help you.’
‘I would prefer you did not.’
‘Then I shall stand here until you change your mind.’
‘We will look ridiculous.’ She looked quickly over at the others who paid them little heed at the moment. Amelia had already gone over to speak to Mrs Kenton. ‘Besides, I wish to stay with Merlin so he does not run away.’
‘I am sure Samuels can handle him.’ He nodded towards the groom.
Samuels sprang forward. ‘Most certainly, my lady.’
Very well,’ she said ungraciously. She gave him her hand and stepped down, attempting to make as little contact with him as possible.
He did not release her hand and she was forced to yank it out of his grasp. ‘Perhaps we should join the others, my lord.’
‘Not yet.’ He stepped around in front of her. ‘Come and walk with me first.’
She folded her arms and glared at him. ‘I don’t want to.’
‘Probably not. However, if you don’t I will be forced to carry you off.’
She gasped. ‘You wouldn’t dare.’
‘But I would.’ His eyes held hers in a distinct challenge.
‘That is hardly fair.’
‘No. But I don’t wish to play fair at the moment.’ He held out his hand. ‘There’s a place by the stream where we can talk.’
She refused his hand. ‘As you wish.’ She stalked past him, chin raised.
He easily caught up to her and took her arm. ‘You are going in the wrong direction. You’ll end up in the sheep pasture.’ His voice held a hint of laughter.
‘I like sheep,’ she said coolly. So now he was laughing at her. She quelled the very strong and most unlady-like urge to hit him.
He took her to a small grassy patch near the stream and released her arm and turned to face her. All laughter had left his face.
Sarah forced herself to look at him. There was something in his still posture that made her defiance seem unnecessary. However, she gave him a cool stare. ‘More games, my lord?’
‘No,’ he said quietly. He looked away for a moment and then back at her. ‘I regretted the words I said to you last night more than any words I have spoken in my life. I can offer no excuse, except that I envy your friendship with Kenton.’
Sarah glanced at him. ‘Why?’
He shrugged. ‘I suppose because I would like the same sort of easy conversation with you, would like your same high regard.’
Astonished, she stared at him. ‘But you have my regard.’
He gave a short laugh. ‘There is no need to spare my feelings. I have coerced you, insulted you, ridden roughshod over you in every possible way since that night at Henslowe Hall. I nearly caused your death. And long before that, I gravely wounded your brother in a duel. I’ve no reason to expect you to look upon me with anything but contempt.’
‘But I do not!’ She was astounded he could be so mistaken about her feelings. ‘I have never held you in contempt. How could I, when it was my own brother who committed such a wrongful act against you? He had no right to take another man’s wife.’
He looked away. ‘But he did not.’
She looked at him, not understanding. He stared out at the stream. ‘Mary intended to go to her old nurse. She made it as far as an inn in Yorkshire before becoming ill with influenza. The innkeeper and his wife took her in. As she became more ill they insisted she must have someone they could send for. And she named your brother.’ His voice was flat, but when he looked back at Sarah, she saw the raw pain in his eyes. ‘There was something else, you see. She was pregnant with your brother’s child.’
She did not dare move as much as she wanted to go to him, take his pain within herself. She waited, very still, for him to continue.
‘I did not discover that until I finally traced her to the inn. She asked for an annulment the day after the wedding. I refused, of course. I had no idea what was wrong, why she should suddenly change her mind. I thought perhaps her father’s death had caused some sort of collapse. She asked again, a week later. I, of course, said no. And so, desperate, she fled. I drove her to her death.’
His face was bleak, the wound to his soul still raw. Sarah moved then, and laid her hand on his sleeve. ‘No, you did not. It is odd—Nicholas, Lady Coleridge, you, me—we all blame ourselves for her death.’
He looked down at her, and his mouth twisted. ‘You as well? I’ve no idea why.’
‘I invited her to stay with me. Do you remember? It was after your betrothal ball. But Mama was very ill and I could not often leave her side. So I sent Nicholas and Mary out together. I never thought anything, except it was nice my brother and my dearest friend got along so well. And now I wished I had not been so stupid, that perhaps if I had not invited her, she would be alive.’
‘You are not omniscient. You could not foresee what would happen between them.’
Her hand tightened on his arm. ‘No. And you are not omniscient either. You did not know that Mary carried such a secret with her. Lady Coleridge did not know either.’
‘No.’ He pulled his arm away and turned, looking out at the gurgling water. ‘But I must have given her such a fear of me that she could not bring herself to tell me. And, in truth, I cannot fault her. My damnable temper…I swear I never laid a hand on her, but I said things that should not have been said.’
‘Dev…’
‘That’s not the worst of it. I tried to force her into my bed.’
This time she took his hand, hardly knowing what to say. She could imagine the growing bewilderment and frustration of a husband with a new bride who did not want to be a wife, and the shame that Mary must have felt when she realised she carried another man’s child. And Sarah knew that was why she had left.
Her fingers tightened around his. ‘No. You did not drive her away. I think,’ she said slowly, ‘that Mary left because she could not bear to face you or her family. She would not have wanted you to raise another man’s child as yours. She could not be your wife when she had already given herself to another man. She would have deplored the deceit above all else.’ She glanced up at him. ‘She never blamed you, even Nicholas admitted as much. It was her own guilt that drove her away. I think now she must have sent for Nicholas because of the baby. She would have wanted him to know.’
His head was bowed. She waited in silence. He finally lifted his head and when he looked at her she saw the tears. ‘Sarah—’ he began.
‘Don’t.’ She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her as tightly as she could with one bandaged hand, and buried her face in his chest. He hesitated for a moment and then he crushed her hard against him, his face in her hair.
They stayed that way for an eternity with the soft babble of the stream and the songs of the birds mixing with the strong beat of his heart under her ear. It was only when something pressed against her legs and mewed that he slowly released her.
‘Your chaperon is hinting we should return to the others.’ His eyes were on her face.
‘Yes. Are you all right?’
‘Yes…no.’ He gave a shaky laugh. ‘I think I will be.’ His expression sobered. ‘I’ve no idea what to do next.’
‘About what?’ she asked.
He made a helpless gesture. ‘About you. And me.’
‘Perhaps we could be friends,’ she suggested tentatively.
‘Friends? Is that what you wish?’ For a moment, he looked almost disappointed.
‘It might be a start.’
‘Yes.’ His mouth lifted in a ghost of a smile. ‘It might be.’ He held out his hand. ‘Shall we return to the others? They probably think I’ve abducted you.’
‘Yes.’ She placed her hand in his and, with Merlin at her heels, they walked towards the tower.
Caroline rose to her feet. ‘If I sit much longer, I will fall asleep. I need a walk. Does anyone wish to join me?’
They had finished the lavish meal and were seated under a spreading tree on a blanket. The men had wandered off to look at the stream and several of the women had gone to sit in the tower garden.
‘A walk sounds splendid,’ Jessica said. ‘Sarah?’ She stood and glanced down at Sarah.
‘I think I will stay here,’ Sarah said. She felt tired, not only from her poor sleep last night, but from the conversation with Dev by the stream. She had not yet thought much about it, preferring to let her thoughts and emotions rest. For the first time, she had hope that they might have a friendship, but at the moment she shied away from thinking of the possible implications.
She stroked Merlin, who sat beside her, and idly watched the others. Amazingly enough the cat had not run off, but seemed content either to follow the groom around to whom he’d taken a liking or to sit with Sarah. At least it had kept Blanton from joining the ladies on the grass after the meal. He had instead gone off with the men.
She glanced around. Amelia was engaged in conversation with Lady Townsley and Penelope Kenton. She frowned a little when she saw Blanton had returned and managed to corner Caroline again. He’d spent most of the outing trailing her around. Sarah had the uneasy feeling he had targeted Caroline as the next object of his affection. What if he decided to compromise Caroline just as he had tried to do with her?
She slowly stood, Merlin in her arms. As large as he was, she could still carry him if she avoided supporting much of his weight on her wrist. She walked purposefully to Caroline. ‘Good day, Mr Blanton.’
He turned. A look of revulsion crossed his face when he spotted the cat. Sarah smiled. ‘Would you like to pet him?’
He backed away. ‘No, I quite detest cats.’
‘I adore them,’ Caroline said.
‘Then would you hold Merlin for me? I…I must find Dev, and I don’t want him to run off. And Jessica is looking for you.’ At least she could rid Caroline of him for a few minutes.
‘Certainly.’ Caroline took the cat who snuggled in her arms and fixed Blanton with an unblinking yellow stare. She gave Blanton a polite smile. ‘If you will excuse me, Mr Blanton.’
‘Of course.’ He bowed a little, his expression genial, but when he looked at Sarah, the fury in his face made her recoil.
She left Caroline and Merlin with Jessica and then wandered towards the stream. She leaned against a tree and tried to decide what she should do about Blanton.
Should she talk to Charles? But then he would want to know why she had such a dislike of Blanton. And she had no desire to seek out Charles for a private talk. Not with the very tentative truce between herself and her husband. But she could talk to Dev and he could drop a hint in Charles’s ear.
‘Hiding?’
She gasped. Dev stood behind her as if conjured up by her thoughts. ‘Can you not announce your presence?’ she demanded.
A brief grin crossed his face. ‘I just did. What are you doing here alone?’
‘Thinking. Although I had just made up my mind that I wanted to speak with you.’
‘An amazing coincidence. I had wanted you for the same purpose. Will you walk with me?’ He smiled and for the first time she had a sudden glimpse of the charming young man that had been Mary’s fiancé.
She caught her breath. ‘Yes, I…I would like that.’
He held out his hand. She placed hers in it and his strong fingers curled around hers. ‘Shall we visit the tower or the stream again?’ he asked.
‘The stream, if you please.’
He said nothing until they’d reached the same place they had been earlier. ‘Shall we sit?’ he asked. ‘There’s a bench of sorts. Although it may be too rough for your dress.’ He indicated a rough bench made of a felled log supported by two stumps.
‘It will do nicely.’ She sat, arranging her skirts. He sat next to her, the hard length of his body pressing against her on the small seat.
‘What is it you wanted, Sarah?’
She glanced at his strong profile. At the moment, she suddenly thought she would like nothing more than to have him kiss her.
Flushing, she quickly looked away, and strove to keep her mind from such disturbing thoughts. ‘I wanted to speak to you about Cedric Blanton.’
He stiffened. ‘Has he been near you again?’ he asked sharply.
‘No. Not since the ball. In fact, I think he rather dislikes me,’ she said quickly. ‘It’s about Caroline Kenton. I am afraid he may be trying to fix his interest with her. I do not think she likes him much at all, but I fear he may try to force her as he did me. But perhaps I am mistaken in my concern.’
‘No, you are not.’ He frowned. ‘You are right to be concerned. You were not the first woman he tried to force into marriage.’
Sarah looked at him, horrified. ‘There was another? I had no idea. I knew he was dreadful, but…please, Dev, will you speak to Mr Kenton about it? I have already told Caroline he is not very proper, but I worry it is not enough.’
‘I will.’ He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a light kiss on her wrist. ‘My sweet Sarah, don’t worry. Caroline will be fine.’
His touch sent a shiver through her. He dropped her hand. ‘So, what else did you wish to say to me? Last night, that is. Now that we’ve decided to be friends, I rather thought we could start where we left off last night. What did you wish to say to me when you desired to be private?’
His mood was odd, one she’d never seen before. It was if all the tension had left him. She was finding it difficult to get her bearings. ‘I had nothing particular in mind.’
His brow arched. ‘Nothing? You merely desired my company?’
‘If you must know, yes.’ Her face heated. If she’d had Amelia’s skills, she would have been able to come up with some witty repartee. Instead she felt clumsy and extremely naïve.
‘I see.’
She stole a glance at him. He looked bemused. Then his mouth lifted in a self-mocking smile. ‘I am highly complimented. It is not often that a lovely woman desires my company.’
Was he about to erect another barrier? She gave him a little frown. ‘I find that difficult to believe.’
‘Why?’
‘For one thing, the gossip says otherwise. And for another….’ Her mind went blank.
‘Yes?’ His brow inched higher.
She was about to give him a set-down when her mind suddenly fastened on another tack. ‘I think you highly underrate your attractions.’
He stared at her as if she’d suddenly spoken in Greek. ‘What does that mean?’
She allowed her gaze to drift over him. ‘Well, you are quite dashing. You are tall, very handsome and intelligent, and can be quite agreeable when you set your mind to it. They are attributes most women find quite desirable.’
A tinge of colour appeared in his cheek. He folded his arms and leaned back against the tree. ‘I’d no idea you had been taking inventory of my appearance.’
‘I have,’ she said complacently.
He looked straight ahead. ‘So, last night you wanted my company so you could…’ He floundered.
‘Observe your attractions.’
He scowled and stood. ‘I fear, Sarah, you are playing games again.’
‘Am I? Perhaps.’ She smiled at him. ‘But I do think you are quite handsome.’
‘Are you flirting with me?’ he demanded. His brows had snapped together even more.
‘Yes. Well, attempting to,’ she amended. ‘You’re making it rather difficult. Besides, I am not very good at it.’
‘You don’t need to flirt. You’re too dangerous as it is.’
She stood up and took a step towards him. He took a step back. ‘Really? You told me once before, but I will own, I have no idea what you are talking about.’
‘You are too…’ By now his back was against a tree. He scowled again. ‘Too desirable as it is.’
‘Oh? Is that a problem?’ she asked innocently. He looked extremely flustered and the knowledge she had that much power over him was quite heady.
‘It is.’ He folded his arms. ‘Stop playing games.’
She took another step towards him. ‘Why? Are you worried I might decide to ravish you?’
‘Hardly,’ he snapped.
The conversation was so nearly like the ones they’d had before with their roles reversed that she nearly giggled.
She might as well bring out the full artillery. ‘Actually, you should worry, because I have been trying very hard to seduce you.’
‘Seduce me?’ His mouth fell open and he looked as if she had threatened to murder him.
‘Well, yes. Do you remember? The night of the ball at Lacey Manor you said—’
‘I know what I said,’ he snapped.
‘What do you think?’
He paced away from her, then turned and ran a hand through his hair. ‘Damn it, Sarah! This is hardly the place.’
‘I hadn’t really planned on it here,’ she said calmly.
‘God, I hope not!’ He stared at her. ‘Another game?’
‘No.’ Any embarrassment she might have felt was rapidly giving away to exasperation. ‘I am not playing a game. And I do not pity you. You told me the night of the ball that I had to be certain…’
‘I did. But I hardly expected—’ He stopped and frowned. ‘We can’t discuss this here. We will discuss this at home.’
‘Yes, my lord.’ They might have been planning to talk about the purchase of new furniture. If it wasn’t for the fact that he looked so confused, she would have been angry.
He spent most of the trip back in abstracted silence, his gaze more than once fixed on her face as if he hardly knew what to make of her. And when the carriage stopped, he helped her down, then dropped her hand as if her touch burned him.
She was beginning to wonder if all men were this difficult.