A. It always bothered me that we speak about the Steps in meetings and assume that the newcomer knows what we’re talking about. So let’s tackle the question of why we have Steps at all, and why we have twelve of them.
There are two aspects of Twelve Step recovery: (1) the fellowship and (2) the recovery program.
Let’s talk about the fellowship first. The fellowship consists of meetings, going out for coffee after the meetings, sponsorship, phoning or texting with members between meetings, and socializing with members between meetings. If you want to check in about your day, or work through a difficult situation you’re facing, that’s a conversation to have with your sponsor. We carry the mess to our sponsors and we carry the message to our group. Why? Because the newcomer needs to hear about our solutions, not our problems.
We need the fellowship because without it, we are alone in our own heads, and if we are alone, we are, as I mentioned earlier, behind enemy lines. So being part of the fellowship is essential if we intend to stay sober.
The fellowship, however, is not enough. The fact that you go to lots of meetings with a lot of friendly people doesn’t mean you’ll get or stay clean. The fellowship is necessary but not enough by itself to keep most people sober.
That brings us to the second aspect of Twelve Step recovery: the recovery program. The program is what the Twelve Steps are all about. You take the Steps (this book will explain in detail how to take the first three), and you get better.
So, recovery comes from combining two elements—the fellowship (meetings, sponsorship, contact with people you meet in the meetings) and the recovery program (taking the Steps).