Brandy made her way up the hospital stairs. The morning’s workout barked at her with each step, her quads and calves already growing sore. But because Sabrina had called and asked if she would come over, none of that mattered. She’d hurried over, a little afraid of what she was going to hear, but more relieved that Sabrina wanted to talk.
A half-dozen gadgets littered the hallway. Poles with some sort of mechanical boxes on them and IV bags hanging above, large rolling cabinets, wheelchairs, and at the far end of the hall a stretcher sat outside a room. She stood outside Sabrina’s door for just a moment, trying to decide if she should knock or just walk in.
She knocked softly but didn’t hear any kind of response. Then she knocked a little louder. Finally, she pushed at the door and knocked at the same time. “Oh, come in, come in.” Sabrina’s mother was rearranging some clothes in the little closet, but she leaned out and smiled. “Brandy, I’m glad you could come. I know Sabrina is anxious to talk to you.”
“Where is she?” Brandy looked at the empty bed, confused.
“Oh, she’s just in the bathroom. She’ll be out any second, but it takes a lot longer to get around when you’ve got to drag an IV pole everywhere you go.”
“Not to mention avoid getting tangled in any of the lines.” Sabrina came through the bathroom door just then, pushing her IV pole in front of her.
“I’m going out to the lobby for a minute to make a few phone calls. You girls enjoy your visit.” And just like that, Sabrina’s mom disappeared out the door, leaving the two of them alone.
“Thanks for coming.” Sabrina shuffled her way over to the wall beside her bed, where she plugged in a three-pronged extension cord that led to the box on her IV pole. She sat on the bed’s edge, her feet dangling just above the floor. “So, as I recall, you had something you wanted to say to me on Wednesday morning.”
“Yes, yes I did. I wanted to say that I am so sorry.” And once Brandy started, the words just tumbled out of her mouth, out of control. “I should have come by your house, or called at least, that night after the race. But I just couldn’t face you. I blew it, I know I did. There are lots of excuses I could give you, but the truth is, the pressure just got to me and I caved in. It was wrong. I’d give everything I have to go back and do things differently, but the fact is I can’t. It was just so stupid, what I did.”
“Yes. It was.” Sabrina didn’t seem angry, exactly, but her eyes looked so flat . . . hard, almost.
Brandy wasn’t sure what else she should say. Her grandmother had told her that Sabrina had some weird kind of lung infection, but she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to know about it. Still, she couldn’t just ignore it. Finally, she settled for, “So . . . how are things going with you?”
Sabrina shrugged. “All right. I’ve got to stay in the hospital for a couple more days until some tests come back and they decide the best course of treatment. It’ll put me behind at school, but I’ve got all my books here.” She nodded toward a pile of thick textbooks. “What about you? How are things?”
“Good. Just the usual, you know. Hanging out.” She paused for a second, not knowing why she had felt it necessary to try to play it cool in front of Sabrina. “I’m still running.”
“So I heard.” Sabrina shifted and looked out the window. “Nana told me you put in quite the workout this morning.”
Brandy knew her mouth had dropped open. “Really? She saw that?”
“She saw enough to say that you almost killed yourself.” Sabrina smiled and looked back toward her. “She said you reminded her of me in the old days.”
It wasn’t until that moment that the full force of what Sabrina had lost to arthritis truly hit her. To have worked that hard, to have endured so many long and painful workouts, years’ worth, to have given up other opportunities . . . and then for it all to be taken away by something she couldn’t control. Not because she wasn’t good enough or didn’t work hard enough, but just because. It was so unfair. “I wish you were still running.” The words had no sooner left her mouth than Brandy realized how awful that might have sounded. “I mean . . . I wish you were still healthy.” Urg! Could she dig herself any deeper into stupid?
“Me too.” It was stated as a fact. Nothing more. Nothing less.
A beeping came from Sabrina’s bedside, loud and high pitched. Sabrina reached for the mechanical box on her IV pole and pressed a button. “This thing drives me crazy.”
“What does it mean?”
“The IV isn’t flowing quite right for one reason or another. In a minute I’ll call the nurse to look at it. But right now, I want to talk to you about a new training schedule.”
Brandy waited for the rest of the sentence, the bad news. But Sabrina said nothing else. “You mean . . . you’re going to help me again?”
“To tell you the truth, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I didn’t mean to, I’ll tell you that, but for some reason I can’t seem to help myself.” She sort of smiled. “For now, I’ve revised your schedule, but obviously I’m not going to be there for the next few days. It’s going to be up to you to push yourself. If you slack off on the back side of the block, I won’t be there to call you on it.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
“Good. Now let me find that chart I made for you.” Sabrina opened the drawer on her bedside table and brought out a piece of paper with hand-drawn columns. “As soon as I get back home, I’ll print out the official version, but this will have to do for now. This is your schedule for the next two weeks. After that, well . . . we’ll see what happens.”
Brandy’s eyes burned, something totally uncharacteristic for her. Especially when it involved someone telling her what to do. “Thank you. For giving me another chance. I promise I won’t let you down this time.”
“I hope you won’t. Your grandmother believes in you and in spite of myself, I believe in you, too. You’ve just got to believe in yourself enough to stick it out.”
The IV started beeping again. Sabrina reached out and quieted it, then pushed the nurse’s call button.
A voice came from the speaker just above her bed. “Can I help you?”
“My IV is beeping.”
“I’ll let your nurse know.”
“Thanks.” Sabrina turned back to Brandy now. “All right, you’ve got some training to do. And take good care of your grandmother, too. She deserves it.”
“I know. I will.”
As Brandy walked out to the parking lot, and even long after that, Sabrina’s words rang through her mind over and over again. “I believe in you.”