SATURDAY 7 MAY

8.24 a.m.

In exactly one week, I will be going on a date with Daniel.

ONE TINY LITTLE WEEK! It feels ages away and also far too soon.

I wonder if he’ll ask me to be his girlfriend?!?

I already feel sick with nerves … mostly because of the kissing dilemma. I mean, should we kiss on a first date? If so, should I kiss him? What if he kisses me? ARGH!!

I have no clue what will happen or what I actually want to happen.

In theory I like the thought of kissing him … but in reality it makes me feel all wobbly inside.

One of the main problems is that I have never kissed a boy before, so I have NO IDEA how to do it.

9.19 a.m.

Have googled ‘how to kiss’ and there are 2.8 billion results – who’s got time to read all that?! It would take approximately eight years or something and I’d be twenty years old by then. Still, at least it helps to know that a lot of us are in the same boat.

I read one or two articles and apparently I should ‘relax’, ‘not overthink it’ and ‘let my lips guide the way’.

So that’s all really helpful. NOT. I mean, what if your lips have no idea where they are going?!

11.54 a.m.

Poppy messaged to see if me and Jess want to meet her in town. Asked Mum for twenty quid to take with me.

She said, ‘What on earth do you need twenty quid for?’

I said, ‘I dunno – food and stuff.’

She didn’t seem to like my response very much. ‘Money doesn’t magically grow on trees, Lottie. I can’t just give you twenty pounds every time you decide you want to go into town like it’s some sort of sporting activity.’

‘It is kind of a sporting activity,’ I said. ‘If you count riding up and down escalators in the shopping centre a sport – which I actually do.’

Mum said, ‘That’s ridiculous, Lottie. Me and your dad work hard to earn our money, you know.’

So I said, ‘You don’t work! You just watch telly and go to the shops!’ And she liked that response even less.

‘For your information, I’m on maternity leave! I’ve a house to clean, meals to cook, clothes to iron –’ which is untrue as she NEVER irons – ‘and I’m barely getting four hours’ sleep a night. It’s hardly a holiday! Also, that’s beside the point … What I’m trying to say is that if you want money to do things with your friends, then you will have to save up your pocket money or try to earn it.’

‘I’m only twelve! I can’t get a job – it would be child labour.’

‘I’m not saying you should get a job, but I’m quite happy to give you extra pocket money if you do a few more chores around the house.’

‘OK, fine. What can I do for twenty quid?’

‘That’s a lot of money, Lottie. But –’ she looked around thoughtfully – ‘I could give you £2.50 to tidy the sitting room, vacuum the floor and do the washing-up. How does that sound?’

Was she having a laugh?! What sort of world is she living in? That would take me like an hour or something and I don’t have time for that – I’m incredibly busy worrying about kissing boys, for crying out loud! Plus £2.50 wouldn’t even buy me a bubble tea.

So I said, ‘Thanks for the offer, but no, thanks.’

Then I went to find Dad, who was hiding in the shed doing something manly (as usual).

‘Mum said to ask you to give me twenty quid.’

‘Really? What do you need it for?’

I did my best embarrassed face and said, ‘Women’s … things.’

Dad’s entire head went bright red (he looked like a cricket ball – with a beard!) and then he quickly handed me a couple of ten-pound notes from his pocket.

Not just a pretty face, eh?

4.25 p.m.

Met Jess and Poppy in town. Molly was seeing Theo – yes, again! Don’t know what Amber was doing. Probably still jabbing her compass into things for fun.

Mooched about, tried on a few clothes, and then I treated us all to sausage rolls from Greggs as I was feeling flush with my £20 windfall.

As we were leaving to get the bus home, guess who we saw … Molly and Theo!

They were standing just outside the shopping centre, sharing some chips.

‘Quick! Hide!’ said Poppy.

We all quickly hid behind the bus stop.

‘Why are we hiding?’ said Jess.

‘Because … we … I don’t actually know. Poppy, why are we hiding?’

‘Just shhhhh – we are seeing what they are doing!’ replied Poppy.

‘OMG!!! I think they are going to kiss!’ Jess squealed.

‘NO WAY!’ I said, peeking out round the corner.

‘Oh no … False alarm … He’s actually just wiping some sauce off her face.’

‘That’s sooooo romantic.’ Poppy swooned.

‘Is it?’ said Jess. ‘I thought buying someone roses was romantic. I didn’t know it was as simple as wiping sauce off someone’s face …’

I mean, I had to agree with Jess really, but it did feel weird seeing my BFF-since-I-was-five on a date with a boy. I still feel kind of sad that we aren’t as close any more. I’ll make sure I ask her about it at school on Monday.

THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

Imagine if I don’t have my first kiss until I’m twenty years old! I really hope that doesn’t happen!