SATURDAY 18 JUNE

WORST DAY EVER.

I know I say that a lot, but this really was a strong contender.

Mum took us into town to get a Father’s Day present for Dad.

As soon as we got there, Toby dragged us all into the Lego store ‘just for a look’ and then spent about twenty minutes begging Mum to buy him the Star Wars Death Star that cost over £600.

He kept saying, ‘Please, Mum! I’ll pay you back!’

Considering he spends all his pocket money on Robux about 3.7 seconds after getting it, this was never going to happen!

I said, ‘What are you going to pay her back with, Tobes?! Your bottled bottom gas?’

He was like, ‘Yeh, great idea!!’

The boy is TOTALLY DELUDED.

When we’d finally managed to drag him out of the shop, we were all hungry, so we decided to get something to eat in the food court.

Unfortunately, when we were on the up escalator, I noticed Daniel and Theo coming towards us on the down escalator with their mates Ben and Tom.

My brain said HIDE, LOTTIE, HIDE! but we were trapped on the escalator and there was nowhere to go. There is something absolutely mortifying about seeing people you know from school when you are out with your parents, isn’t there?! It makes you feel like a little kid.

I tried to duck down behind my mum, which maybe could have worked. Unluckily for me, old eagle eyes – Toby – clocked what was happening and decided to take FULL advantage of it.

Next thing I know, he’s screaming, ‘OOOOOOOH, LOOK, LOTTIE! IT’S YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!’

Oh God, not this again!

He was so loud that even complete strangers were turning round and looking and laughing.

Then Daniel’s mates all started laughing too, so it was just me and him in the middle of everything, flustered and bright red and wishing we were anywhere else but there.

‘SHE WANTS TO KIIIIIIIISSSSSS HIM!’ shouted Toby.

‘Just shut up, Toby!’ I hissed.

‘SHE WANTS TO MAAAARRRRRRRY HIM!’

I tried desperately to put my hand over his mouth, but he pushed it off.

‘SHE’S BEEN KISSING SATSUMAS AND MANGOES TO PRACTISE FOR KISSING YOU!’

OMG – he must have been spying on me!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At this point, Mum decided to intervene. But not exactly in the way I had hoped. She told Toby to stop being silly and then she started hollering down the escalator, ‘So, you are the famous Daniel! We’ve heard SO much about you!’

All his mates are almost doubled over laughing at the situation, but she just ploughs on regardless. ‘Maybe you could come round to tea one day and meet the rest of the family properly? I do a lovely cottage pie, don’t I, Lottie?’

I could not believe she was being SO embarrassing. Her cottage pie is the worst thing you have ever tasted in your life.

By now we were at the top of the escalator, and I couldn’t bear to look back at Daniel’s reaction, so I just sloped off towards McDonald’s to bury my face in a big box of nuggets.

There was one good thing about the day though – we got Dad an excellent present that he is totally going to LOVE!