SUNDAY 14 AUGUST

10.32 a.m.

Woke up late. Must have been tired from Bella’s all-night milk-guzzling PARTAAAAY because everyone was sitting at the table outside eating croissants and drinking juice and coffee.

‘Ahhh, she finally awakes!’ said Dad, picking up something from the table. ‘Here … your French friend dropped this off this morning.’

It was an envelope with ‘Lottie’ written on the front. I didn’t want to read it in front of them, so I took it back into the tent and tore it open excitedly.

Chère Lottie,

First one first – forgive my bad time of English, I ask my brother, Hugo, to help me translate. I hope he is making good jobs of it.

It was fantastical to meet your fine person on the day before today. Never had I been so glad to pick up a plate of the plastic variety.

I’m shocked to believe that we both are twelve and have a love of cheese – très fantastique! I’m sure we have many more coincidences between us, not discovered until later.

Would you like to take a nature walk with me tomorrow for more chatty chat?

If the answer would be yes, I will see by the toilet block at 2 p.m.

Love of Antoine x

PS My brother is much better-looking than me and I have a fungal infection that makes my feet smell like rotting fish.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! He’s written me a love letter!

Well, sort of anyway. The main thing is he likes me, he likes cheese, and I am meeting an HFB at the toilet block tomorrow for a chatty chat! C’est très romantique!

10.37 a.m.

I really hope that the rotting fishy feet was a joke though!

4.45 p.m.

I’ve been so happy today that I’ve barely felt annoyed with anyone. I played Sharks in the pool with Toby and the twins for ages (I drew the line at Shark Kiss Chase though), and then I let Hailey plait my hair for about an hour and a half and I didn’t even complain when Bailey kept repeatedly asking to be my boyfriend.

7.45 p.m.

Daniel messaged back to see if we could FaceTime but I’ve been so busy thinking about Antoine and our toilet-block date that I’ve not had time to reply – again! Mum was right about everything – poor, poor Daniel!

But whatever. I have more pressing issues on my mind, like what to wear tomorrow to impress Antoine with a Parisian-chic look. We are nowhere near Paris, but you get what I mean. It’s a shame I didn’t put much thought into my packing. If I’d have known I was going to meet an HFB, I wouldn’t have filled the majority of my suitcase with Pot Noodles.

8.12 p.m.

Good God. It’s all kicked off. Apparently earlier when I was daydreaming about Antoine I accidentally by mistake said ‘yes’ when Bailey asked if he could be my boyfriend.

Now he’s told EVERYONE, and Nana Nutter just came over and asked when we were getting married.

I’ve tried to explain that it was a simple clerical error on my part, but Bailey keeps shouting, ‘BUT LOTTIE, YOU PINKY PROMISED!’

8.35 p.m.

We’ve negotiated an agreement. I will be Bailey’s ‘girlfriend’ for twenty-four hours ONLY, I will allow ONE photo of us together (he wants to show it to his mates) and there will be absolutely NO physical contact whatsoever. (He wanted a kiss but there is zero chance I will be wasting my second-ever kiss on nine-year-old Bailey Nutter!!)

10.47 p.m.

The Olds are at it again. They have placed a parasol pole over the back of two patio chairs and are limbo dancing under it (badly) while singing (also badly), ‘How low can you go!’

Philippe has already been over twice to tell them to be quiet, but they keep trying to convince him to have a go at the limbo. I think he needs to get tougher with them, personally.

11.59 p.m.

URGH. They started playing Snog Marry Avoid and I had had enough, so I went out myself and scolded them pretty badly. Hopefully that will be the last of it!

THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

Oh God. Just had a terrible thought … maybe I’m the Fun Police now??!