DE LEON RETURNED NEARLY FIFTY minutes later, just as Alex’s hunger had spiraled into a keening need. He pushed keys into an inner pocket, then pulled a full blood bag out of his jacket. “It’s a bit cool, because I lifted it straight out of the fridge. But I think you’ve had cold blood before.”
Alex almost tore the bag out of his hands. His fangs had already descended, but he hesitated.
“I’ll wait in the kitchen,” De Leon said and walked out of the room.
Alex would have appreciated his discretion, but he was too much in need. He bit carefully into the corner of the bag and began to feed. It was cold, compared to the heat of a human body, but it would do for now.
When he had finished and strength returned to him, he went through to the bedroom, put on clothes and washed his face. He was very nearly sober now. The last traces of the serum were still circulating, making him feel a touch giddy. If he remembered the sensation right, it felt much like it had felt to drink wine—something he had learned to do once he had converted to Christianity.
De Leon was sitting at the dining table, in front of Alex’s laptop. He looked up as Alex walked into the room. “I figured you wouldn’t mind. I have to stay on top of my emails these days and in truth, I didn’t think I would be here this long.”
“You hacked my profile?”
“I logged in as a guest.” De Leon grinned. “I can find out everything I need to know about you with a single phone call. I don’t need to hack your data.”
“You’ve made that phone call?”
“Not yet.” De Leon stood up. It was dark in the room, but neither of them needed much light to see clearly. He moved the laptop away and pulled out the chair at the top of the table. “Have a seat.”
“You are making yourself at home,” Alex observed dryly.
“You forced that on me. Consider it payment for sobering you up. Sit.”
Alex frowned, mildly annoyed at the curt order, but he found himself moving around the table and sitting on the chair De Leon had pushed out. Reluctantly, he agreed with De Leon. The man had helped him straighten up.
De Leon sat down again, and rested his hands on his knees.
“Are you about to give me a lecture?” Alex asked, not sure if he found the idea amusing or not.
“No. But I do want to talk to you about whatever it is you’re snorting or injecting.”
Alex sighed. “I told you—”
“You’re looking for answers where there aren’t any,” De Leon said, cutting him off.
Alex blinked. “Excuse me?”
“I know exactly what you’re doing. I even know why.”
“You don’t know me at all. Even if you made that phone call, you still wouldn’t understand.”
“But I know this, what drove you to seek out other dimensions, or whatever it was that you thought you were doing. I’ve been there, Alex.”
He couldn’t think of a single thing to say in response. Weak denial rose within him, but the fact that De Leon thought he knew what Alex was doing kept him silent. Then he shrugged. “Is there any point in trying to dispute something you seem to feel is so apparent?”
“It’s not apparent, my friend. You have been hiding the severity of your dilemma from everyone, including Brody, Veris and Taylor. Even I didn’t know until I saw you at the front door. But now I know and I know why you hide it from them. I also know why you want to deny it now. You’re lost. You’re adrift in the sea of time, with no direction, no purpose and no idea what you should do next.”
“I think you should leave, De Leon.” Alex said it as calmly as he could, but he really wanted to jump to his feet and beat the man until he left. The violence of his reaction appalled him.
“You had better call me Rafe,” he replied. “You’ve asked me to leave twice now, yet I am still here. “ He leaned a little closer. “One of the few things that pulled me out, when I was where you are, was friends. Family.”
It hurt. More than Alex thought it might. “We are not all blessed with an abundance of offspring,” he said dryly, as his heart thudded on its own.
For the first time, he saw surprised in De Leon’s face.
“Did you think I was not aware of your generational family?” Alex continued. “That we didn’t know about the serial wives you’ve married and the children you have raised, and their children and their children’s children? You have propped up your life with your invented family, but I saw how empty your house was on Sunday. Empty…and with a nursery in the basement. Which of us is the more pathetic, do you think?”
De Leon’s jaw rippled and his eyes narrowed. “How…?”
“Did you think you were the only one investigating the people involved in Brody’s case?” Alex asked.
De Leon sat back. “So Brody and Veris checked me out. Natural, I suppose, for the circumstances.” He seemed more than just surprised, but Alex couldn’t pin it down.
“You knew them well,” he asked, “when you knew them…from before?”
De Leon drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “Very,” he said flatly.
That confirmed the hints and allusions Veris and Brody had let slip over the two years, since their return from Constantinople and Rafael’s abrupt appearance in modern times.
“What were they like, back then?” Alex asked, his curiosity overriding any of the discomfort this conversation was causing. “I met them at the Siege of Jerusalem in ten ninety-nine. That was five hundred years after you had met them and Brody was human when you did.”
De Leon studied him. “Am I imagining the envy in your tone?”
It was Alex’s turn to be surprised. “Not exactly. Not for what you had with them…” he said slowly.
“But because I was there,” De Leon finished. “I’m starting to understand why you’re in the pickle you’re in. You’ve been doing too much looking back. Too much wishing for times long gone.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I?” De Leon leaned forward once more. “I will tell you something, Alexander Karim, before I leave. It might comfort you. I envy you for your friendship with them now, in this time. It is something that I do not have. It is something I…miss.”
Alex stared at him. “Then you are angry they investigated you.”
De Leon stood up. “I understand why they did. My connections to the Council make me a political danger to them. But I had hoped that what they knew of me from before, that it would be enough to have their trust, still.” He grimaced. “Survival is often ruthless, is it not? And those two are superb at surviving.” He pushed the chair back under the table. “I will wish you good night, Alex. You should stay off the serum—that is what you called it, didn’t you? You should stay away from it for a while. You need perspective. And you need to focus on the here and now.”
Alex followed him to the front door as a thought occurred to him. “You never did say why you came here,” he pointed out.
De Leon turned to face him, his hand on the door handle. There was an odd look in his eyes. “You don’t know?”
Alex shook his head, mystified.
De Leon did something simple and quite shocking. He lifted his hand and curled it around Alex’s neck. His thumb brushed against his jaw and Alex’s skin sizzled at the contact.
Lingering effects of the serum, he told himself.
But his heart started pattering.
“I like you,” De Leon – Rafe – said.
Before Alex could open his mouth to speak, Rafe pulled the door open, stepped out and shut it again.
Alex’s jaw still tingled.
His heart thundered.
* * * * *
“You’d better sit down and tell us what’s bothering you,” Veris said. “You’ve been twitching since you walked in.”
Alex stepped around Brody’s favorite chair and settled on the sofa, which had been added to the room last year, so that everyone in the family could sit if they wanted to. The sofa was a richly luxurious silk-covered thing with antique braid and glowing colors. It shouldn’t have worked in this room of modern lines and Craftsman chairs, but it did.
“I wanted to wait until the children had left,” Alex said.
Taylor sat next to him and rested her hand on his knee. “Would you like me to leave, too, Alex?”
“No, of course not. Why would you think I would want to exclude you?”
She smiled at him. “You have that confessional air about you, and you were raised in a patriarchal society. I thought you might prefer the company of men to speak of your problems.”
“I do. But your presence is not a negative in the slightest.”
She squeezed his knee. “Thank you.” Then she moved to the other end of the sofa, giving him room.
Veris picked up a chair in one hand and settled it close to the angle between the sofa and Brody’s high back one and settled down. “The kids are all fed and settled for the night. We shouldn’t be interrupted. The floor is yours.”
“Thank you,” Alex said and meant it. “It’s personal, of course, and it has been driving me crazy for two days. I need to consult with experts.”
“Finally,” Veris said, “The doctor acknowledges my superior medical knowledge.”
Brody rolled his eyes. “He said personal, doofus. A cripple could out-hobble you when it comes to dealing with yucky emotions.”
“True,” Veris said without the slightest shred of resentment.
“Actually, it’s both of you,” Alex said.
There was a little silence. Brody and Veris and Taylor all exchanged glances.
“You’ve guessed already,” Alex said.
“Why don’t you tell us, anyway,” Veris said gently.
Alex took a deep breath and let it out. Then he scratched at his hair. “Hell, this is harder than I thought it would be.”
“Blaspheming, too,” Brody added, his voice just as soft.
Alex shifted on his cushion uncomfortably. “I thought I had offloaded all this nonsense centuries ago, but it seems I have latent prejudices lingering, still. This is very difficult to speak of.”
“Would you like me to start you off?” Taylor asked.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Alex said truthfully.
She leaned forward. “This is about Rafael, isn’t it?”
Alex caught his breath, then realized that had given them his answer, so he shrugged. “Yes. How did you know?”
“I guessed,” Taylor confessed. “He was watching you very closely when we were at his house last week. I might have put it down to him not knowing you as well as any of us, but now you’re here, so that puts it in a different light.”
“My wife,” Veris said proudly.
Taylor stuck her tongue out at him and looked back at Alex. “What is the expertise you need?”
“I don’t for a moment imagine that you made a move on him,” Brody said, and despite the light words, his tone was quite serious. “It’s not in your nature, so even if you’re sweating over getting him into bed, you wouldn’t do that.”
“Rafael learned quickly how to reach for what he wanted, anyway,” Veris said. “He started late, but he was a fast learner. So, Rafael came on to you and now you think you’re in some sort of dilemma?”
Alex grinned. “No, no dilemma.”
Again, the little silence.
Veris stirred. “Ah…” he said softly.
“You three are always three steps ahead of me,” Alex complained. “I never feel stupid except when I’m with you.”
“We don’t think you’re stupid at all,” Taylor said swiftly.
“You wouldn’t get invitations here if you were,” Brody added. “Stupid is a self-correcting condition most people can’t be bothered to address and that offends me.”
“I won’t tell you what it does for Veris,” Taylor added. “So, if you have no dilemma to resolve, that means you’ve made up your mind one way or another. You wouldn’t be here if you plan to say no and move on. You want help saying yes, is that it?”
Alex blew out his breath. Relief touched him. “More or less,” he said carefully. “I’m not totally ignorant of how it goes between men, as I’ve been watching you two for years, but I’ve never….it’s new territory for me.”
“And what about the lovely Ms. Stevens?” Veris asked. “I thought you were completely smitten by her.”
Something like guilt touched Alex. “I am,” he said swiftly. “But this…it’s…”
“Different,” Brody finished firmly, sitting up and leaning forward. “Veris, stop giving him a hard time. You had mentors when you were younger, and I…” he scowled. “I wasn’t given a choice. I learned the hard way how it goes. But we both had to learn. Same as we – all three of us – had to learn about sex with the opposite gender. It’s a legitimate question.”
Alex nodded. “I was given a teacher when I was thirteen. She was one of my father’s slaves. She taught me everything she knew about sex.”
At their surprised expressions, he smiled again. It was good to set them back and surprise them every once in a while. “My father didn’t want me to sully the family name by failing to perform adequately in bed. So her education was thorough. That’s why I’m flailing, somewhat. I know all the mannerisms and the delicacies of seducing a woman, but…” he pressed his lips together, then pushed aside all the stupid reluctance that was stopping him from speaking. “I don’t know how to seduce a man.”
“What makes you think it’s any different from seducing a woman?” Veris asked. “What would you have done if Rafael was a woman who had made a pass at you?”
“Ignored it, most likely,” Alex said flatly. “I prefer my women softer.”
“You mean more pliable, don’t you?” Taylor asked, a hard note in her voice.
Alex smiled at her. “I like my women to be all woman, to be confident in their sexuality, to know what they want, yes, but to use all their skills to let me seduce them. The forced kiss and the hand at the crotch are not seductive. Not at all.”
Taylor smiled. “You must miss a great many opportunities.”
“I do,” Alex said flatly. “But the quality of the ones that do come my way more than make up for it.”
Taylor raised her brow. Veris was smiling his little smile and Brody was grinning. “Are you taking notes, Taylor?” he asked.
“I’m not planning on seducing Alex, thank you,” she said shortly. “You two are more than enough. Besides, it doesn’t take all my womanly wiles to get you into bed. You’re both permanently in heat.”
“With you around, my lovely one, you wonder why that is?” Veris asked. He picked up her hand and kissed it, then sat back. “Where were we?”
“What would Alex do if Rafael was a woman,” Taylor said, and the hard note had gone from her voice.
“Indeed,” Veris agreed. He looked directly at Alex. “It’s exactly the same. Well, the approach is the same. The end result is just as good, too. Different, but good.”
Taylor shook her head. “No, you’re wrong,” she said firmly. “I’ve watched you two together for years, too, and I have an insider’s perspective that Alex doesn’t. When you two are together it’s…harder. More direct. There’s not a lot of the caressing and teasing you do with me.”
Brody was still sitting forward. “It’s not harder, Taylor. I know what you mean, but it’s just two men doing what feels good. What feels good between us, rather than between you and me, is different. It’s…male.”
“Yes,” Taylor agreed, nodding.
Brody looked at Alex. “You won’t ever understand this until you’ve been through it. Don’t listen to blondie over there. His seduction technique is to grab you and hold you down while he does what he wants. Very subtle. And not your style at all. My best advice, Alex, is to listen to what your feelings are telling you to do, and do it. There is no right and wrong here.”
“Thank you,” Alex said heartily.
“And make sure Rafael knows you’re new at this,” Veris added.
Alex held back his protest. The idea of confessing he was completely inexperienced felt deeply unsettling.
“He will understand, if he cares at all,” Brody added. “And if he doesn’t, then find someone else. When it comes to romance, the rules are universal.”
“He will understand,” Veris said firmly. “I guarantee it.”
This time Alex was part of the trio of silence, as Taylor and Brody glanced at each other, then at Alex. They all looked at Veris, waiting.
Veris grimaced. “Said too much, didn’t I?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I was the first partner Rafael chose for himself.”
“Knew it,” Brody said.
“Rafael needed…transition time,” Veris added.
Alex nodded slowly. It was another glimpse into their very long lives, and filled in a tiny missing spot in the aftermath of their jump back to Constantinople. It was also an interesting insight into Rafael, too.
He stood up. “I won’t linger and spoil your evening any longer. Taylor, thank you for your hospitality. Your home and family are as always, a special treat to spend time with.” He dug in his pocket for his car keys. “Veris and Brody, you have been a great help, thank you. I appreciate your candor.”
“And why have you suddenly become all formal?” Brody asked curiously.
“He’s always formal when he has received a formal invitation and hasn’t just dropped in,” Taylor said. “Haven’t you noticed? All those Muslim rules of civility. It’s nice. You’re always welcome here, Alex. You are one of our favorite people.”
Alex kissed her cheek. “And you, mine,” he replied truthfully.
* * * * *
Alex was still debating his best course of action when Rafael opened the door, spilling light out upon the step. “Alexander,” he said, as if he had been expecting him, which perhaps he had been.
Alex was more surprised that it was Rafe who answered the door. “I was expecting your daughter to answer the door,” he said. “I had an excuse all ready to use.”
Rafael grinned and stepped aside. “She lives in a suite that is separate from the house and besides, it’s past midnight. I’m quite alone here at the moment.” He shut the door behind Alex. “Come on through. I’m in the middle of mixing a cake.” He moved ahead and Alex followed.
“You bake?” Alex asked.
“I find it oddly therapeutic. I picked up the habit when my children were all young. It was fun to bake treats for them during the night, ready for them the next day. I haven’t quite lost the habit, yet. It helps me think.”
They were passing through a living room that was grand in scale, featuring lots of gleaming walnut and brocade. It was a judge’s house, fitting the role that Rafael was filling these days. Alex wanted to see a more private room, though. He wanted to spot the real Rafael.
The kitchen almost qualified as private, except that not just Rafael would use this room. But despite it being a large room with a butler’s pantry and a walk-in closet that was bigger than some bathrooms that Alex spotted through the door that stood ajar, it was warm and inviting. There were genuine terracotta tiles on the floor and walls, which helped with the ambiance, along with copper pots hanging from the rail over the island. There was an enormous oven and range, over which a brick hood had been built. It drew the eye. The bricks were rough, as if the structure had been there for centuries.
At one end of the island, there were bowls and measuring cups and spoons, and canisters with ingredients for the cake Rafael was making. Rafael headed for them. As he passed the stools lined up along the counter, he pulled one out and patted it. “Have a seat. I won’t be long.”
“Is this what your house looked like, when you were human?” Alex asked.
Rafael picked up the wooden spoon in the bowl, and snorted. “I didn’t live in a house. I lived in a hovel. It could barely stand up on its own. It leaked when it rained and was always freezing.” He looked around the room. “This is what the aristocrats lived in, although they would never have stepped into their own kitchen.”
“You’re from Spain, originally, yes?”
Rafael cracked two eggs with one hand, and dropped them into the mixture and stirred. “What would become Spain. The Iberian Peninsula. Back then, the place was called Iberia.”
“Back then was the fifth century?”
Rafael smiled. “I suppose Brody and Veris have told you a bit about me.”
“Not a lot,” Alex said. “They’re very discreet.”
“I see. Then you know….?”
“I had already guessed, even before your comment the other night. You had affairs with both of them, at different times.”
“And you didn’t?” Rafael asked curiously. He poured the contents of the bowl into the waiting cake pan.
“When I met them…well, it was somewhat confusing, that time, because I met the contemporary Brody and the older Veris at the same time, because of the time travel. Later, I got acquainted with the older Brody. But even when I first met them, they were with Taylor.”
“She is a lovely woman,” Rafael observed and turned to put the cake into the oven. He closed it and set the timer.
“I thought myself in love with her for quite a long time,” Alex confessed. “Then I realized what it was I loved about them and grew out of it.”
Rafael raised his brow. “So. You couldn’t see Veris and Brody because of your love for her.”
“I could see them very well. I just…” Alex sucked in a breath, his heart racing. Say the words! He railed at himself. “I have never considered men as lovers until now.” He swallowed. “You will be my first.”
Rafael studied him and silence gripped the kitchen. There was a tightness across Alex’s chest, making the middle of it ache.
“Curiosity?” Rafael asked. “Is that what brings you to my door?”
Alex gripped the edge of the cool marble counter. “Is curiosity what drove you to take Veris as a lover?”
Rafael’s jaw tightened. “That was very complicated. There were a lot of things that made me…” He hesitated. “Curiosity was not part of it, no.”
Alex nodded. “You touched my face the other night. I have never reacted to another’s touch like I did with you. Curiosity is not part of it for me, either.”
Rafael moved around the counter and up to where Alex sat, his whole body thrumming with tension. He stood before him. “Then we are agreed.” His voice was lower. Heavier.
Alex obeyed his instincts. He stood, then slid his hand around Rafe’s neck. The flesh was soft. He swept his thumb over his cheek. Rafael’s breath emerged, loud in the absolute silence. “I want to kiss you,” Alex murmured.
“Then kiss me.”
Alex drew him closer. Even just his hand resting on Rafe’s neck was enough to make his fingers tingle. He really had not felt this with anyone, before. It was a novelty floating on a sea of repetition, conspicuous by its difference.
He pressed his lips against Rafael’s, tasting him with a touch of hesitancy. The rush of impressions left him almost breathless; the surprising softness of his lips, his scent, which was unusual for a vampire, but quite distinct, nevertheless. There was taut flesh under his fingers, and defined muscles.
Then the kiss deepened. Alex found he was drawing Rafe closer still, until their bodies pressed together. He held Rafe’s head with both hands and drove his tongue into his mouth. There was no thought there, no decision to be made. He wanted to do it. He was barely conscious of the desire, but he obeyed the instinct. It was a sound one, for the pleasure leapt. His heart was a runaway and he could feel Rafe’s heart thudding against his chest. That heightened the sensations and made them better. His breath was rough and uneven.
Then Rafe groaned and Alex’s heart—his whole body—leapt. He broke the kiss, but didn’t move away. He looked into Rafe’s eyes.
Rafe cleared his throat. “I made the mistake of thinking that because you have never been with a man, your experience in general would be limited. How stupid of me. I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed so…thoroughly.”
“I’m simply following my instincts,” Alex said. “So far, I like where they are taking me.”
Rafe pulled him closer once more and this time he led the kiss, driving Alex up against the counter and pressing against him even harder. Alex could feel Rafe’s cock, thick and hard, against his hip. His own had been throbbing since the first kiss. His heart squeezed and a thrill fizzed through him. Brody was right. This was different in a very male way…but yet it was the same. The familiarity let Alex relax and inhale the pleasure.
He could feel his heart beating in his temples and hear the throbbing in his head. He was a tight coil of need.
Letting himself move purely as his body’s needs dictated, Alex reached out and snagged Rafael’s belt. He pushed him away so that there was an inch of space for him to work the buckle with one hand. He had never unfastened a man’s belt when it was being worn by another man, and the buckle worked in reverse to what he was accustomed to. Alex fumbled, then slid the leather out of the metal square, then went back to kissing Rafe, which he was finding a powerfully pleasurable thing to do. Rafael knew how to kiss, even without benefit of formal lessons from a slave concubine.
The belt fell to either side and Alex pushed his hand under the band of Rafe’s jeans, his thumb over the heavy metal button.
Rafe pushed away, gasping. His chest under the simple shirt was heaving. “No, not yet,” he said. He shook his head. “This will sound insane, Alex, but…I hardly know you.”
“You know me enough.”
“Enough to fuck you, oh yes. I just…I find I don’t want to simply fuck you. I want more.”
Alex drew in an uneven breath. “A relationship?” he asked.
“Yes. A relationship,” Rafael said. “At least, I would like to see where this might go. The question is, do you? Or do you want to slake whatever your needs are and be done?”
Alex gripped the edges of the counter on either side of his hips. The counter felt very cool against his skin. He was becoming warmer with the beating of his heart, generating heat. “I don’t want to just fuck you,” he said slowly. “There are male prostitutes on every street corner for that. But I don’t know where this might go. I have to be fair and warn you. There is someone else I can’t get out of my thoughts, who draws me as much as you. I don’t want to ruin any possibilities.”
“A woman?” Rafe asked.
Alex shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I just wanted you to know. Until we know what this is, then I want to keep my options open. After that…well, we’ll see.”
“You’re honest, as well,” Rafe said. “I like that.” He reached out and lifted the band of Alex’s sweater. “You should go home. But first, I want to give you a parting gift. Something to remember me by.”
Alex swallowed and clenched at the counter even harder, as Rafe pushed his sweater up his torso, then dropped his hands to his trousers and opened them. The wool sagged open and Rafe casually pushed the trousers down his hips.
Alex’s cock sprang upward and the air was cool around it. It throbbed in time with his heart, and the blood congested there was almost a dark purple.
Rafe ran his fingers the length of his cock, and Alex hissed in reaction as sharp excitement shot through him.
Then Rafe curled his fingers around the shaft and stroked and Alex rolled his head back, the groan emerging deep and hard. He was so close to losing it completely, to losing the control that made a superior lover.
When Rafael dropped to his knees in front of him, Alex caught his breath. “Do you intend…?” he whispered
Rafe looked up at him with a roguishly charming grin. He gripped his cock, then plunged it into his mouth.
Heat. Heat from a vampire that must surely be as driven as he. Moisture and softness. And firmness. For a fleeting moment, barely formed in his mind, Alex recalled Taylor’s word for it. Hardness.
Rafael knew personally what were the most pleasurable and effective strokes and teasing. His lips bumped over the head of Alex’s cock with delicious friction, and he began to tremble with the power of the coming orgasm. His control was jittering apart, as his body gathered around the climax, building it, driving it upward.
At the last second, before the climax exploded, Alex shoved his hands into Rafe’s hair, gripping his head, and driving himself into his mouth. He was helpless to prevent it. The need was so powerful, his hips thrust almost with their own intelligence.
He came with a shout that sounded hoarse and uncontrolled. Fluid pumped from him, as the pleasure rocketed up from his toes and his testicles. He could feel the tendons in his throat straining.
Finally, he blinked and let Rafe go. Rafe stood up, a small smile playing on his lips. “I think I’m going to enjoy seducing you.”
Alex refastened his trousers with trembling hands. “No, you won’t,” he said firmly.
Rafe’s smile slipped. “Why not?”
Alex caught his chin in his hand and kissed him, hard. “Because I intend to seduce you.”