From the empty bleachers Friday night, Jade watched the Colby Warriors go down to the Palo Duro Dons 52–0. Her heart sobbed as Max tried to hold the team together, but when the Dons went ahead 38–0 at halftime, the Warriors imploded.
Without Noah and Calvin, the offense never found its rhythm. The Dons’ offense ran all over Haley’s defense. The Warriors moved like slow, sleeping babies compared to Palo Duro’s quick backs.
Three times, Max sent Tucker out to kick. He missed—wide left, wide right, and way short. Jade watched Max hang his head each time the refs blew their whistles, swinging their arms, “no good.” Then he’d meet Tucker on the sidelines and pop him on the shoulder pads. Good try.
Every time the Dons scored, Max searched the stands for her. She’d smile with thumbs up. But, oh, it was brutal.
She was glad only the faithful few remained when the clock wound down and the torture ended.
“At last, I can breathe.” Brenda patted her chest. “Jade honey, how do you stand it?”
“Part of being coach’s wife, I guess.” How did she stand it? Jade reached down for Asa and landed him on her hip. Max jogged toward the field house, head down, his feet dragging the ground. What this team needed was a party.
Something fun. “Say, Brenda.” Jade pulled her close. “Have you heard anything? About Bobby?”
“Nothing, shug. No rumors of sabotage or wanting to fire Max. But I’ve got my ear tuned to Rick Lundy. He and Bobby are T-I-T-E tight, you know, and if anyone’s going to cover Bob’s shenanigans, it’s Ricky. You know, any more games like this where there’s no one to buy food and trinkets, the boosters will start crowing. Look, there’s Lila Jane. Hey, Lila, is that a new hairdo? Love it.
Love it.” Brenda waved, smiling, then cut her lips sideways to Jade. “What was she thinking? She’s sporting a Brillo pad.”
“Brenda, did you see Lila Jane?” Bit scooted down the metal bleacher. “Hey, Lila Jane.” She waved like Brenda. Then, “She looks like Lil’ Orphan Annie.”
“I said Brillo pad.”
“Ooh, I like that better.” Bit patted Brenda on the shoulders.
“You two frighten me.” Jade shifted Asa to her other hip. He was heavy.
“What? We’re just citizen observers. Now, Jade, forget ol’ Brillo pad hair and Warrior football. What did Dr. Gelman say? And I know you had an appointment ’cause I ran into her at the grocery store the other day.”
“I went. Yes.” A crimson of heat spread across Jade’s cheeks. “But it’s sort of a personal matter, Brenda.”
“What? Oh Bit, she hasn’t told him.”
Bit leaned to peer at Jade. Her blue eyes were accented with major green eye shadow and dollops of mascara on the edges of her lashes. “You’re right, B.
She’s not told him.”
“Why haven’t you, Jade?” Brenda folded her arms.
“Told him what?”
“You’re pregnant.” Bold, unabashed. Nosy Brenda.
“Shhh.” Jade looked around. Why? She didn’t know. She’d sat alone on her side of the bleachers for the last half of the game. “It’s been kind of hectic around our house.” Football. Landon. “I’ll tell him when it’s right.”
“When will it be right? You know what? You need to go out and do something fun.” Oh, that sounded fabulous.
“The carnival,” Bit said.
“The carnival. Bit, you are brilliant.”
“That’s what I keep telling you.”
“Well, keep talking. Jade, do you like carnivals? There’s one at the Randall Country Fairgrounds. You and Max should go, kick up your heels, cast off your cares. I’ll watch Asa for you and you can tell him.”
Tell him. A recurring theme in her life. “Brenda, thank you, but I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t. I volunteered.” Her phone buzzed. “Aw, what in the blazes? It’s my husband. He’s sitting in the car waiting.” She squinted at her phone’s screen. “Says, ‘what’s for dinner? Starved.’ Mercy, the man has two healthy legs and two healthy arms but when it comes to feeding himself, he’s a bawling baby. I knew it when I married him, though. His mama catered to him. Practically fork fed him our wedding cake.” Brenda started down the bleachers. “Bit, I should’ve never taught him how to text. Jade, how about Sunday night? I’ll come over around five.”
“Five? Well, um, sure, okay. Five.”
Bit paused in front of her. “She means well.”
“I know she does.”
“She’s the best one to have on your side when the chips are down. I know.” Bit’s voice softened. “Have a good night, darling. See you, Asa.”
“Night, Bit.” Jade kissed Asa’s forehead and started down the bleachers. The carnival. She hadn’t been to one since she was a girl. Mama used to drive a truck for her friend Carlisle’s carnival. But Jade had hated the carnival. It usually meant Mama would leave again for months on end and she’d have to help Granny care for Willow.
A carnival would be a fun date. Outdoors, under the lights. A great place to deliver the baby news. “Let’s go find your daddy, Asa.”
As she approached the field house, Hines passed her. “Jade, come on inside.
Wait in Max’s office.”
“Do you think he’ll be long? We just want to say hi, cheer him up. I can go on home if he’s busy.”
“Well, he’s got to talk the boys off the ledge.” He held up his hands for Asa and Jade let him go. “But this little guy will brighten the team right up. Tough night, eh?”
“Brutal night.” Jade adjusted to having empty arms and walked toward Max’s office with her hands in her pockets. Hines split off to the locker room with Asa.
In Max’s office, Jade flipped on a light and took a seat on his sofa. The leather was thick and deep, but oh so comfortable. What else did he have in this office? Her gaze paused at the window. One, he had an amazing view of the field. Who wouldn’t be inspired by this place? Grand field house.
Manicured, custom field with all the bells and whistles.
But Brenda was right. If attendance remained low, the concession staff would make no money. The souvenir sellers would have to fold up shop.
Warrior pride would not live, but die. Max was supposed to be a fresh spark.
Jade got up and moseyed to his desk. Nice chair. She pressed her palms on the arms. And he had the new iMac. Very classy. Absently she opened his desk drawers. So like him. Max the minimalist. Most of them were empty. She spun the chair around to the credenza. Books about football and strategy lined the top shelf. Playbooks and regulations were stacked neatly on the bottom.
Jade drew open a bottom drawer with her toe. Something rattled in the back. She flipped on the credenza lamp. Didn’t Max ever dust? She reached inside the drawer. What one thing would he keep down here?
Her heart crashed the moment her fingertips shouted “baggie” to her brain. Jade pulled it out, dropping it on the desk like a hot rock.
Percocets. Hundreds of them.
Her face flashed cold and fear filled her veins. Anxiety charged her heart so its rhythm stole her deep breaths. Where did he get these? Why would he get these? Jade stood, then sat, running her hand over her forehead. Think, think, think.
His eyes had been clear ever since he got home. He wasn’t distracted. Well, he was, but football-distracted, not sneaking-Percocet distracted. She couldn’t remember the last time he pressed his hand to his back and said something about the constant ache.
He went running the other night. He confronted Landon and ended the ordeal laughing with her about goofy cousin Jeff.
The weariness in her bones compounded to dread, her own fears alighting. This would never end. The lies, the drama, the addictions. They’d never end.
How could he have told her the wild story of Jesus’s healing and stash these in his credenza? Was this his just-in-case plan? Well, it stunk.
“Hey, there you are.” Max came in, Asa in his arms, his Warrior cap on billbackward. He bent to her cheek but she backed away. He frowned with a fast visual scan. “Asa had a blast with the boys. He thinks he’s one of them. Jade, you okay? Tuck’s coming over with Noah and Calvin for pizza. Jade?”
“You’re using again.” She snapped her pointing finger to his desk where the baggie of pills lay in the spotlight of his desk lamp.
“What?” He paled. “Where did you get those? Were they on the desk when you came in?”
She pointed to the credenza drawer.
“Oh, Jade, come on. Those aren’t mine.”
“Then what are they doing in here? If they aren’t yours, then whose?”
“I have no idea.”
“So, the drug of your choice, Percocet, just happened to land in your office, in a lower drawer, without your knowledge.”
“Yes. Jade, look at my eyes. I’m clean. Besides, a cheap plastic bag? Not my style. I used high-quality containers. I hid my junk in kiddie safes in my office closet, under mufflers and gloves. Not a bottom credenza drawer. So all of a sudden, I just drop them in a dime store baggie and leave them for anyone to find?”
“Maybe you forgot to hide them.” Tremors zapped across her torso so she shivered without control.
“I’d never forget to hide them, Jade. I’m not an amateur. These are not mine.”
“Then whose?”
“You tell me—you found them.”
“What kind of crack is that, Max?” Jade reached for Asa. “Until you find out, they’re yours.”
“Except you know they’re not.”
“I trusted you before and was wrong almost every single time.” Jade fired out of the office.
“Hey, Mrs. B. We’re coming for pizza. Do you want Domino’s or—”
“Not now, Tucker. Please . . .” The echo of her steps in the block and tile hall chimed in her ears. Her head pounded. She was too angry to let panic rise.
What would it take to make him man up? How stupid. How very stupid.
This . . . this would get him fired.
Wait . . . she drew up short and spun around. “Max—”
He was right behind her. “You’re going to listen to me.”
“No, you’re going to listen to me.” She rose up on her toes. “Max, what if Bobby put them there?”
About five feet away, the boys filed out. Noah. Calvin. Tucker.
“ ’Night, boys.”
“ ’Night, coach.”
“They’re watching, Jade.” Max held her elbow and steered her toward the parking lot. “We’ll go to the ER, I’ll pee in a cup, and you’ll know for sure, I’m clean.”
“But Max, I think Bobby put them there.”
“And why would he do that?”
“To get you fired. Slow down, heavy kid in my arms here.”
Max reached down for Asa. “I’m still peeing in a cup.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do. You thought they were mine.”
“Well, Max . . . come on, can you blame me?”
He sighed. “I’ve been clean for half a year, and the first thing you did when you saw the pills was accuse me and call me a liar.”
“A big bag of your old drug. Yes. But it makes no sense. Does Bobby or anyone else know about your Percocet problem?”
“Chevy.”
“Ooh, do you think—”
“No, Jade. We have enough suspects.” Max pulled up beside the car. “But it’s not hard to find out my not-so-secret secrets. All you have to do is Google my name and find out I’ve been in rehab two times. For pain meds. The Chattanooga papers covered my first rehab and my stint at the Outpost. ‘Heir to Benson Law Dynasty Kicking Drug Habit. Again.’ ”
“So Bobby did do it.”
“Maybe. Open the car. You and I are going to the ER to pee in a cup.”
“Max—” She was tired, hungry, and in no mood to spend an hour in the emergency room for a tox screen. “Just forget it. Someone put them there. I believe you.”
“You don’t. And even if you did, you need the proof for when those moments of doubt come. Wondering, ‘Did he? He sure is gone a lot these days. Boy, the stress is sure getting to him. I wonder if . . .’ Jade, I’ve failed you a lot.
I’ve failed myself and my family. God. But I’m not failing a drug test. You need to see that for yourself.”
She regarded him for a long moment, the intensity in his voice vibrating through her thoughts. “I’ll see you there.”
Max walked beside Jade onto the carnival thoroughfare. The tinny sounds of ride music electrified the air as streams of carny fans flowed around them.
The ride lights flashed and blinked. Red. Blue. Yellow. Green.
Max folded the strip of tickets he’d purchased and stuffed them in his pocket. With the tense but cordial air between Jade and him, he doubted the intent of the outing. Fun?
He knew nothing of the planned date until Brenda Karlin showed up to babysit. He initially feared she was bringing an update to the task he’d assigned her. When she passed him at church earlier with a “See you tonight,” he let it blow past him. She must be mistaken. Then she knocked on his door.
Jade confessed she’d planned a fun night out.
Max took a light hold of her elbow. “If you’re not going to have fun, we can go home. I can always watch film. Review stats. I got lots to do.”
“No, this is fine.”
“The tox screen came back negative, Jade. You can look at me and see I’m not using.”
“Then how did they get there? I can’t stop thinking about it. What did you do with them? Just as bad is the idea that someone wants you out of a job so much they research you and set a booby trap.”
“I flushed them.” And flushed, and flushed, and flushed. “That guy is not me.”
“Why don’t we go and talk to Chevy.”
“Jade, the carnival was a good idea. I need this. You need this. So let’s forget Friday night, please, and have fun.” He caught her waist and drew her to him, kissing her. “You look beautiful tonight.”
She relaxed in his arms. “Thank you.”
“Okay, what do you want to do first?” Max stepped ahead a few paces, surveying the rides. “We got your Screaming Swing.”
Jade shook her head.
“The tilt-a-whirl.”
Really shaking her head.
“The fun house.”
Blech. She made a retching motion.
He laughed. “Come on. What do you want to do?” Jade lived with this lopsided kind of confidence—beautiful yet with a hint of frightened doe in her eyes.
“Eat.”
“Eat? We have to ride something first.” He motioned to the Ferris wheel. “One ride, then food.”
Jade hip-checked him toward the food stands. Toward the aroma of grilling meat and sweet beignets. “How about the beignet-go-round and the big carniburger ride.”
“Ride first, eat later. What happens if you get sick, lose your cookies?” He made a face.
“Good point. Ferris wheel it is.”
As they made their way across the thoroughfare, Max caught a few “Evening, Coach” greetings. A man and woman passed with a wave and a nod. “Nice try Friday night. You’ll get ’em next week.”
Nice try? We were obliterated. “Go Warriors,” Max said, smiling. Then he bent in Jade’s ear, soothing his hand the length of her hair. “They must be from Palo Duro.”
She laughed. “Come on, give yourself some credit. You played hard Friday night.”
“It was like fielding peewee players against Ohio State or Texas.”
Another couple passed with a “Go Warriors” shout-out. One man stopped to talk about the game for a few minutes, then moved on.
As they lined up for a ride on the Ferris wheel, Max caught a mass of red and gold moving through the crowd like a precision army.
His boys. His team. His chest swelled with a bit of pride.
“Coach and Mrs. Coach.” Noah clapped his hand in Max’s, then leaned into him for a shoulder bump. Calvin followed, then Tucker. One by one, Brad, Sam, Colton, Dale, Geller.
“Out on a Sunday night? Tell me your homework is done, Noah. Calvin?”
The surrounding boys jeered. “All y’all better have it done too. I’m talking to Mr. Molnar in the morning and I want all my players eligible this week.”
“It’s done, Coach. It’s done.” Noah backed away, hands in the air. He was becoming the leader of the team with Calvin as a close second.
“Mine too, Coach. We thought we didn’t have to turn it in. Mr. Parrish said we didn’t have to ’cause he knew we practiced in the afternoon. As long as we passed the test and quizzes.”
Max considered the teen. Noah nodded in agreement. “Are you sure? Did you talk to him about it when you got benched?”
“Yeah, but he said we misunderstood.”
“How did you misunderstand?” Max said.
“Something about turning it in on Monday. After the weekend.”
Max peered at Jade. She made a wry face. The conspiracy theory remained popular. “Look, we do all homework. No exceptions. Turn it in on time.
Everyone clear?”
“Yes, Coach,” the boys chorused with small head bobs.
“Good. See you boys tomorrow.”
“ ’Night, Coach.” The red and gold mass moved.
Except Tucker. His bangs flopped over his forehead and the back of his hair threaded the top of his collar. He was tall, good-looking, but always had a little bit of a lost look in his blue eyes.
“I’m sorry about trying to invite us over the other night for pizza, Mrs.
Benson.” He kicked the thoroughfare grass. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“No, Tucker, it’s okay. You and the boys are always welcome. I snapped at you and I shouldn’t have.” Jade peered up at Max. “I was upset at something, but it had nothing to do with you.”
“I know I hang around a lot.” Tucker’s voice faded. He wasn’t willing to opt out of his nearly-nightly visits. Max felt it.
His boyish tone tugged Max’s heart and his love grew a bit more each time Tuck came around. He was so hungry. So thirsty.
“We love having you hang around, Tuck.” Max squeezed his shoulder. “Anytime. You are welcome and we mean it. If we yell at you, well, that just means you’re really family.”
“Asa would miss you terribly if you weren’t around.” Jade pressed her hand on his arm. “You are part of the family, Tuck. We love you.”
His countenance lifted as he backed away, grinning. “Better catch up with the rest. Calvin will leave me here. See you tomorrow.” He scurried to catch his teammates.
“Max, there’s a good man waiting to break above all that pain and insecurity. Do you know his story other than Mariah being a single mom?”
“Dad left.” Max shook his head. “Mariah kind of gets around.”
“Next.” The ride jockey called.
Max gave the man two tickets and settled in a bucket with Jade. When they were locked in, the wheel went round.
“Are you having fun?” Max slipped his arm around Jade as the wind blew her hair across her face. Sleek, darks wisps. He reached up to help her tuck them away, thinking it’d been awhile since she wore her hair down. He liked it.
“Yeah, we’re having fun.”
“Trusting me?”
“Max, I have to trust you. I . . . I . . .” She pinched her lips. Then grabbed his hand and curved it over his heart. “Do you promise me that those pills are not yours and you never plan to use them?”
The wheel rotated up. The carnival colors stretched beneath them. Sapphires, rubies, and emeralds flowing in a white river of light over western plains.
“I will never use them.” He peered into her eyes, his voice firm with unwavering truth.
“Okay, then, I’ll tell you why I have to trust you.” The wheel lifted them higher. Jade stared out, then down. “Look, Max, we’re sitting on top of the world.”
“So we are, but Jade, why do you have to trust me? What’s going on?”
She exhaled, turning toward him as best she could while locked in a metal bucket. “I’m pregnant.”
He blinked. “W-what?”
“I’m eleven weeks pregnant. Dr. Gelman said everything looked good. I’ve been throwing up every morning after you leave.”
“Y-you’re pregnant?” His George Bailey stutter vibrated in his belly.
“Yes, babe, I’m pregnant.”
His heart brimmed and spilled over. “But we weren’t trying. I mean, we hadn’t even talked about it.”
“Well, I think we did a lot of talking, bucko. Nonverbal.” She laughed. Soft.
Without a care.
Max grabbed her and kissed her, sinking down in the bucket, sinking into her.
When he broke the passion, he sat back. “Ha, ha. We’re having a baby.” Max shot his hands over his head. “Look out, world. Jade and Max Benson are having a baby.” He latched onto the crisscross bars and started rocking.
“Max, hey, wait.” Jade fell against him laughing. “Woo-hoo, world, we’re having a baby.”
The couple below them applauded. “Congratulations.”
The wheel spun down to the ground. Max shouted to passersby, “We’re having a baby.”
When they rode to the top, he shouted again, “We’re having a baby.” He punched the air. Yes, yes, yes. “Jade.” He snatched her by the shoulders. “This one is different. This one will make it.”
Tears slithered to the corner of her eyes. “I think so too. I do, Max.”
“And Jade, guess what?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know . . . what?”
“This is my first biological baby. And it’s with you.”
She dropped her gaze. “I know. It’s what we wanted but now it feels so silly. Asa is mine. He’s yours. He’s our firstborn.”
Max clipped his arm around her, kissing her temple, feeling the drop of the wheel as it spun around, then lifted them up. The circle of life. “We’ll finalize Asa’s adoption before this baby is born. Change his name to Benson. Call Cara. She’s the lawyer on this. Tell her we want a December court date. The Warrior season will be over by then.” Probably his career, too, if Bobby had his way.
“What about the McClures, Max?” She’d spoken to him about Lorelai’s visit. But Max had encountered Gus’s reputation enough times to doubt his sincerity. “Can they be in Asa’s life? I don’t think there is any other answer but yes. They must. They are his grandparents.”
“I hear you. You’re right. Let’s talk to them when we go home for Christmas.”
“Can I Skype with them?”
“Yeah, Skype.” He grinned. “Your heart is reflected in all of this light beneath us.” Max gestured to the white river. “God brought all the truth to light for us when we said ‘yes’ to Him and ‘no’ to our own fears and wills.”
“I’m happy, Max.” Jade leaned into him as the wheel rode around, the breeze cutting fresh and cool.
“Me too, Jade-o. Me too.”
When the ride ended, Max passed the jockey two more tickets and a twenty, adding a hard glare for good measure. “We’re not getting off.”
The wheel started and Max rode again with Jade. Rising above the earth.
Then lowering to the ground. Rising. Lowering. Lights above. Lights below.
This was the circle of life. Light and dark. Failures and successes. Triumph and sadness.
And love. Oh, love remained. And she rested in his arms tonight.