JESSICA GREENBAUM

No Ideas but in Things

FROM The New Yorker

We checked the vents and hidden apertures of the house,

then ran out of ideas of where it might be open to the world.

So we couldn’t figure out how the squirrel was getting in.

We each had methods that succeeded in shooing him,

or her, out the door—but none of them lasted. Whether

it was the same squirrel—terrified when in the house, and

persistently so—or various we couldn’t tell because,

tipped off by a glance, he zigzagged from froze-to-vapor,

vanishing, Zorro-like, until signs would tell us he had

revisited the sideboard to dig in the begonia. (Escaping

Newcastle in a search for coal.) We plotted his counter-

escape, laying a path of pecans to a window opening

on the yard. A few days would pass, and, believing him

gone, we felt inexplicably better than when we began.

Then, from another room, the amplified skritch of nutmeg

being grated—and, crash. Bracelets off dresser tops, bud

vases, candy dishes, things houses have that the backyard

doesn’t. You don’t think of squirrels knocking things over,

but inside it was like living with the Ghost and Mrs. Muir.

When we couldn’t trust the quiet or prove his absence,

we cast him as that hapless shade: worry. Our own gray

area, scat-trailing proof of feral anxiety. But after a few

cycles of release-and-catch I grew bored with the idea,

with its untamed projections. Since he dashes up walls,

(yanked, like a pulley), or seeks treasure in a five-inch pot,

daily, why not adopt him as optimism’s travelling rep?

I tried. But the sun comes up, we step toward the stove,

and he shoots out like a cue ball, banks off the kitchen door

—what mayhem is caused by going to make coffee!—

and the day, again, begins with a shriek. We are now in

week three and I accept that, inside, the squirrel is going

to stand for something else. And so is the May rain

and so is the day you took off your coat and the tulips

joined in with the cherry blossoms and the people came out

and the pear-tree petals floated down in polka dots

around the tulips, and even around the cars. We name life

in relation to whatever we step out from when we

open the door, and whatever comes back in on its own.