Lise put the Dana down and stared off into space for something like the fifth time in an hour. Somewhere in this house, Joshua was working.
The man she loved.
She’d honestly believed after her divorce that she would never fall in love again. Mike had betrayed her though he had loved her with a commitment she had believed unshakable, if not a passionate desire. She’d spent two years focusing on the worlds she created in her books, worlds she could order, where emotional pain was always assuaged and the heroine always won the day.
In the space of weeks, everything had changed. Both inside herself and in the world around her.
She was no longer alone facing her stalker. She was not alone, period. She’d gotten out of Seattle, a beautiful city, but one that had been choking the life out of her body just the same. She’d taken a lover, discovered she was way more sexual than she’d ever thought possible, and experienced pleasure beyond anything she had ever fantasized.
She’d even told Joshua she loved him.
He hadn’t responded in kind, but there was a freedom in the telling that had released chains on her heart she hadn’t even known were there.
She jumped to her feet. She wasn’t going to get a lick of work done on her book while her body burned with need to be close to Joshua. It wasn’t hunger to make love, though she wouldn’t turn him down if he asked, she thought with an inward smile.
It was a simple desire to be in the same room with him. To breathe the same air he was breathing. To know he was there, where she could see or touch him.
She went looking for him, carrying her Dana.
She found him in his workroom. He was packing shells on the same workbench he’d laid her out on to make love to the day before.
He looked up when she came in. His gaze traveled over her, as if he could see right through her jeans and long-sleeved t-shirt. Maybe he could. Feeling wanton and free, she’d left her bra off at his request that morning, and could feel her nipples hardening against the snug fabric now. If he couldn’t see them, he needed his eyes checked.
The dark glow in his gaze said he saw just fine. “Hi, honey.”
She smiled. “Hi.” She loved it when he called her honey, or sweetheart.
It felt warm and intimate.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if I worked down here with you.” She lifted her Dana so he could see it.
“Not at all. It won’t bother you to have me in the room while you’re writing?”
She shook her head. She was fast growing addicted to his company, but when she looked around her, she realized she hadn’t planned very well. She supposed she could sit at one of his workbenches.
“Here, let me get you something to sit on.”
“Okay.”
He left and was gone several minutes. When he came back, instead of carrying a kitchen stool like she expected, he had a comfy-looking brown armchair and padded footstool.
And he was carrying them like they weighed about as much as the kitchen stool she’d thought he would be bringing.
He set them up close to where he was working and smiled at her. “Will this do?”
“Yes.” For some reason she found it difficult to speak past the obstruction in her throat. “It’s perfect.”
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Yes, it’s just that you always do more than I expect. I whined about needing to get out of the apartment and you took me to an island where I could experience Native American culture up close. I wanted to go tramping in the woods and you took me, even though it was dark outside and below freezing. You spoil me.”
“I like doing it.”
She shook her head, wondering if she could even explain the emotion overwhelming her at the moment. “I was an extra person in my dad’s life, one he would have been real pleased to see gone, and I always felt like a weight on Jake. Dad was nuts, but ninety percent of the problems my brother had with him were because of me and his desire to protect me. Ever since my divorce, I’ve been very careful not to rely on anyone too much, but you just step in and take care of me.”
She did not want to cry. He probably thought she was an emotional basketcase already. “You are doing more for me than any human being should be expected to do, but you don’t act like it’s any big deal. You won’t let me pay you, and you…and you…”
She couldn’t go on without making an idiot of herself, so she just waved at the armchair, indicating the last item in a long line of things he’d done for her that made her feel special.
Joshua shook his head and pulled her to him for a long, satisfying kiss. “It’s easy to do things for you because you’re so damn sweet.”
Then he released her and patted her bottom, pushing her toward the chair. “Now, write.”
She sank into the chair and got comfortable, putting her feet up and her Dana in her lap. “So, why do you make your own ammunition?”
“Because I know I can trust it.”
“Oh. In my books, my heroines do it because they want to customize the velocity of the bullet and charge of the explosion.”
He laughed. “There is that as well. Now stop stalling and get back to work.”
She mock saluted. “Yes, sir.”
She spent the next couple of hours working while Joshua made ammunition and then started cleaning guns.
After finishing a scene, she needed to stretch, so she got up and went over to Joshua, watching him sharpen a short knife. If she remembered correctly from her research, it was the kind that went into a belt and looked like a buckle, but could be pulled out in less than a second.
Come to think of it, he’d probably been wearing something similar pretty much every day since she met him.
He looked up, his expression not in the least impatient. “Did you need something, honey?”
“I thought I’d soak in the spring for a while. My muscles are cramped from sitting.”
He cupped her nape and pulled her closer so he could reach her back and then he started massaging her muscles, making her groan. “Do you want some company?”
“I’d love it.”
The underground jungle was every bit as impressive on the second visit as it had been on her first.
“This place is incredible. I can’t believe you have it.”
“I like the jungle, but usually when I’m there, relaxing is the furthest thing from my mind. I wanted my own private sanctuary where I could be a man, not a mercenary.”
She sensed he’d surprised himself as much as her by the open admission, but unlike many men would do, made no effort to cover it with a bunch of excuses or a subject change.
He just started taking off his clothes, which she guessed could be considered a change in subject because it certainly took her attention away from what they were saying. She began undressing as well, sliding her shoes off and toeing off her socks while she watched his body come into view.
He was in the water first, but she took her time climbing into the pool, enjoying the sensation of being naked in the steam-warmed room, almost drunk on the simple freedom of being a woman.
He settled back against the wall of the pool, his gaze centered completely on her. “You’re teasing me.”
She stood on the side, feeling her nipples grow hard and her breasts swell under his intense scrutiny. “Am I?”
He stood up and moved across the pool until he was right in front of her in the water. He was eye level with the apex of her thighs and he reached out and brushed through her curls with probing fingers. “Yes, come in here. The water feels good, but you’ll feel better.”
She grinned and obeyed, sliding into the water and his arms at the same time. “This is such an incredible sensation.”
He hugged her body to his. “Yes, it is. You’re an incredible woman.”
She would have said he was the amazing one, but he kissed her and she lost touch with reality. Just that quick.
Their passion grew incendiary in seconds and she was panting and straining against him when his hand slid between her legs to check her readiness. She yelled a demand for him to take her and other demands that turned them both on. When they actually joined, she was so lost to the consuming firestorm of desire he ignited in her that she came almost immediately.
So did he.
Her climax overpowered her completely, leaving her wrenchingly drained. Combined with the lack of sleep the night before, she could barely keep her eyes open. She must have dozed, because when she woke up, he was toweling her dry. She hovered between sleep and wakefulness as he took her back to his bedroom.
He smiled down at her. “You need a nap. I wore you out.”
He sounded awfully pleased with himself, but she couldn’t work up any energy to be bothered by that. And why should she be? He should be happy with himself. It wasn’t every day a man could wear out a she-wolf. She snuggled into him.
However, when they entered his bedroom, he stopped in his tracks and swore, using words she’d never even heard of and she was positive were in more than one language.
“What is it?”
“I forgot Hotwire was coming.” He made it sound like a federal crime.
She’d thought one of his indicator lights had shown that Nemesis was there, or something equally negative. Hotwire’s arrival hardly seemed something to spark that kind of reaction. “Is that all?”
“It’s enough.”
“Does he need you to pick him up, or something?”
“No. He’s already here.”
That didn’t make any sense. “How do you know? I haven’t seen him.”
Joshua inclined his head toward his surveillance center.
Duh, she thought.
“Hotwire is here,” she repeated, still not taking it in completely.
“Right.”
Joshua’s friend was in the house, had arrived while they were occupied in his private jungle.
The thought of what he must have heard, might even have seen, woke her up real fast. She’d been screaming like a banshee, all sorts of lascivious demands of Joshua there toward the end.
“He heard me, I’m sure he did.” She hit Joshua’s chest with the side of her fist. Not hard, because she didn’t want to hurt him, though he was solid and she wasn’t sure it wouldn’t take a Sherman tank to do that. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He laid her on the bed, pulling back the comforter and tucking her underneath. “I forgot.”
“You forgot he was coming? How could you? You don’t forget anything.”
“When I’m with you, I forget my own name.”
For some reason one of the things he’d said about his marriage breakup came back to her. His first wife had not been able to give him complete oblivion.
“You mean nothing else exists for you when we make love?” she asked, just to clarify.
“Exactly.” He didn’t sound pleased by the fact, but she was overjoyed.
Joshua frowned. “It’s a damn good thing Hotwire is a friend. If it had been an enemy, he would have been on us without advance warning.”
Considering the tight security of his home, she doubted it, but she positively beamed at the idea that making love with her was more involving for him than it had been with Melody. Maybe the feelings he had for her would be more long-lasting and encompass more than just his dick as well.
“What has you grinning?”
“Nothing.”
He leaned over her, blocking her view of anything but him. “Something has you smiling.”
“Making love with you always makes me smile.”
“But first it makes you cry.”
Sometimes it did. “It overwhelms me.”
He bent down and kissed her fiercely before standing up. “Rest, I kept you up too late last night. I’ll go find Hotwire.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes.”
He felt her head. “Are you all right?”
She laughed. “Better than all right, but I am tired.” She yawned just to prove her point and because she couldn’t help herself.
She also wasn’t keen on the idea of facing Hotwire, not knowing what he’d seen or heard. It might be cowardly, but she was more than content to let Joshua deal with the initial awkwardness all on his own. After all, Hotwire was his friend.
Joshua stepped back from the bed. “Be good.”
She snuggled under the wolf comforter. “Put some clothes on before you go looking for Hotwire. He might not find the sight of your naked body as appealing as I do.”
He laughed at that. “I’m not the only bossy one around here.”
She merely smiled.
Hotwire was working on his laptop at the kitchen counter, munching on some popcorn when Joshua found him.
Joshua slid onto a stool next to his buddy and grabbed a handful of popcorn. “When did you get in?”
Hotwire looked up from his computer screen, a knowing gleam in his eye. “A couple of hours ago, not that you noticed.”
Damn it, Joshua had never been shy, but he didn’t know how to ask his friend if he’d come downstairs while he and Lise were making love. What disturbed him the most was knowing that he wouldn’t have noticed if Hotwire had come into the jungle room and said something.
He’d been that far gone.
Making a stab in the dark for what he hoped was the case, he said, “You didn’t come looking.”
“Didn’t need to. The surveillance equipment showed two warm bodies in the jungle room.”
While Joshua did not do video surveillance in the rooms of his home, his sensors could pretty accurately pick up the number of people in each room.
“I thought you might be a tad upset if I interrupted your afternoon hot tub.” The Georgia twang was liberally laced with wry humor.
Joshua didn’t bother replying. His friend was right and he was glad the other man’s sometimes off-the-wall sense of humor hadn’t prompted him to knock on the door. He didn’t want Lise embarrassed. “What’s the latest word from Nitro?”
“He and Josie are making good time, but they’re still two days out.”
“No contact from Nemesis yet?”
“No, but Nitro says he’s being followed.”
When you lived a great deal of your life relying on your instincts, you learned when you could trust them. Joshua trusted Nitro’s as surely as he trusted his own. “Good.”
Hotwire took a long drink of beer from the bottle at his elbow before talking again. “I did some more digging and you’re not going to like what I found.”
“What?”
“Ed Jones belonged to a fringe militarist group, the kind who pass out The Anarchist’s Cookbook as Christmas gifts.”
The perp was getting more irritating by the minute. “How heavily involved was he?”
“I’m not sure, but it looks like he did some computer hacking for them. He quit the group a couple of years ago.”
“Do you know why?”
Hotwire nodded his blond head. “According to some e-mail correspondence I found on their server, he was offended when he wasn’t given a leadership position among them.”
“Because of his hacking?”
“Yeah. Apparently, he thought he was more important to the cause than the rest of them did.”
“Sounds like an egoist.”
“That’s only part of the picture.” Hotwire popped a couple of kernels of popcorn in his mouth and chewed. “His employee records also indicate dissatisfaction with his career growth. He saw himself as more key to the company than management did. Losing his job would have been a huge blow to a guy like that.”
Joshua’s face tightened. “Nothing like the blow I’m going to deal him when I get my hands on him.”
Hotwire’s expression said he understood and agreed. “How’s Lise holding up?”
“She’s fine, but I want that jerk off her back.”
“Considering how much time you two spent in the jungle room, I’d say she’s more than fine.” His eyes mocked Joshua.
“That’s none of your business.”
Hotwire’s lips quirked. “Nope, it sure isn’t, but I’ve got to say I’m glad I wasn’t the enemy.”
“Anyone but you, Nitro, or I would have a helluva time getting through my security.”
“True.”
Joshua ran his fingers through his hair. “I know I should leave her alone.”
“But you can’t?” Hotwire asked with interest.
“No.”
“That’s different.”
“She’s different.”
“Are we going to be moving up our plan to go into security consultation?”
They’d been talking about getting out of the merc business for the last year. Although they’d been soldiers for almost two decades, none of them had been ready for the switch just yet, particularly Nitro. He still had a lot of the restlessness that drew men to their line of work.
He got up and started putting things away, tossing his friend’s beer bottle in the recycling container. “Lise deserves better than a merc with my past and no emotions to speak of.”
“You don’t look like your emotions are dead when you’re around her.”
Joshua was beginning to believe that, but that didn’t mean he had a future with her. “She’s innocent and so damn sweet.”
“And?”
“I’ve done and seen things that would make it into most people’s nightmares.”
“Haven’t we all? But I don’t think she minds.”
“That’s because she’s made me into something in her mind that I’m not. Once reality hits, she’ll want to move on.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I heard what you two were saying that day in the apartment about how this was like an adventure in one of her books. It’s a fantasy for her, not reality.”
“You just keep telling yourself that, Wolf, but I’ll flip Nitro for the best-man slot at your wedding.”
The next couple of days went by quickly with Joshua and Hotwire coordinating the trap for Nemesis, Lise trying to meet deadline on her current book, and she and Joshua making love each night in the privacy of Joshua’s bed.
Nitro and Josie McCall arrived late in the evening. It had been snowing softly for a couple of hours and Lise had been fretting about driving conditions. Joshua laughed at her. “Nitro has driven in full-scale blizzards on balding tires. Don’t worry about him and Josie making it up the mountain.”
Lise had nodded, but bit her lip. The relief she felt when the decoys made it safely to Joshua’s home was palpable.
Nitro parked outside, a ways from the house. He and Josie crossed the snow-covered ground and cleared walkways to the front door.
“I can’t believe how much she looks like me,” Lise commented to Joshua as Josie followed Nitro into the house.
Josie smiled at Lise, though the smile looked strained to Joshua. “Makeup and a wig will do wonders, but I’ll be glad to get them off.”
“I can imagine.” Lise’s voice was typically warm with understanding, and Joshua put his arm around her waist as he led them all into the primary surveillance room where Hotwire continued to monitor the equipment.
She smiled up at him and for a second, he forgot about the other people crowding into the room.
“I’ll leave Nitro to give you the report.” Josie’s voice brought him back to the present. “It isn’t much, really, and I’m going to go turn back into me.” She turned to Hotwire. “You want to show me the way to a bathroom?”
“The report can wait—I’ll show you,” Nitro said before the other man had a chance to answer.
He went to take Josie’s arm to lead her off, but she sidestepped his touch. “Just show me the way, Hotshot. You don’t need to manhandle me to do it.”
Nitro’s expression didn’t change, but the sense of leashed intent emanating off of him rose several notches.
However, he spun on his heel without a word or further attempt to touch her and stalked away. Josie followed, her expression readable if Joshua’s buddy’s was not. The female operative looked ready to chew nails.
A half an hour later, they all congregated in the primary surveillance room off the entryway again.
Lise had been surprised when Joshua had showed it to her the first time. “Why do you have two of them?” she’d asked.
“It’s convenient.”
“It’s overkill, if you ask me. How many monitors can one man possibly need?”
“I’m the security expert,” he reminded her and she stuck her tongue out at him, which led to a long, drawn-out kiss when he showed her more effective uses for it.
“A car followed you onto the road, but it didn’t go past checkpoint two,” Joshua said now to Nitro.
“Nemesis.”
“There’s no way of knowing that,” Lise said.
“I feel it in my gut. He was following us.” Nitro looked at Josie. “You felt it, too.”
She nodded, her gaze nowhere near meeting Nitro’s. She focused on Lise. “I’m sure he was there. It was like I could feel him watching.”
Nitro made a sound that could have been taken as agreement, or something else.
It made Josie stiffen, but she didn’t look at him. “I’m a damn good operative and my instincts have never let me down. Regardless of what some pigheaded, chauvinist, badass mercenaries of this world might think.”
“If I didn’t think you were the goods, I would never have brought you into the case,” Joshua said, knowing she wasn’t talking about him, but wanting to pull Nitro’s chain.
“I think you’re one of the best operatives I’ve ever known,” Hotwire said, his Georgia drawl very pronounced and his blue eyes filled with mischief.
The smile he turned on Josie was all Southern charm, and Nitro looked ready to kill someone.
Josie wasn’t looking at him, so she didn’t see it, but everyone in the room knew who her glare was for. “I wasn’t talking about you two.”
Nitro said something that made Lise gasp.
“Are you two going to have a problem working together?” Joshua asked, not altogether just to push his friend.
He didn’t want the mission screwed up because of a personality conflict.
“Yes. I’m a professional.” Josie turned to give Nitro the benefit of her filthy look this time.
“It’s not a problem,” he said, his eyes narrowing as they took in Josie’s hostile stance. “I survived four days on the road with nothing but her company—I can last out the end of the mission.”
Josie’s eyes clouded with pain before she turned her body so that her back was to Nitro. “What do you want me to do?” she asked Joshua.
He felt sorry for her. Nitro was a badass, and if Joshua’s emotions were on ice, his buddy’s had been burned right out of him. Something was obviously going on between them, but Josie would be smart to cut her losses, because Nitro was not a man to give a woman emotional power over him.
“When I’m not with Lise,” Joshua said to the female operative, “I want you with her. Nitro, Hotwire, and I will split the surveillance watch and the outside reconnaissance, but I don’t want Lise alone ever, okay?”
“Are we bunking together?” Josie asked.
“No, she’s staying in my room.”
Surprise contorted Josie’s features. “On a job?”
“This isn’t a regular mission.”
Josie shook her head, comprehension dawning in her eyes. “I thought you’d never fall. You always acted so immune.”
Lise turned six shades of pink and tried to move away from his arm. “He didn’t fall, he’s just…”
“Not going to talk about it.” He reined her back in, keeping her small body close to his own.
Josie smiled, her whole stance relaxing. She even laughed. “That’s great. It really is, but I’m mum on the details from here on out. Sorry,” she said to Lise, “I wouldn’t have said anything if it hadn’t come as such a shock.”
The sound of disbelief that came from Nitro really had Joshua wondering what was going on between the two of them, but nobody pried into Nitro’s life, not even his friends.
It was a way of being Joshua identified with well, despite having two sisters and a mother who didn’t know the meaning of the word privacy. Which was probably one of the main reasons he’d never invited them to visit his sanctuary. There were big chunks of his life they knew nothing about. Stuff they could not handle if they did.