“No!”
Evie’s own cry woke her. She opened her eyes to find she’d jerked bolt upright in bed.
“Evie?” Erik’s sleepy voice came to her through’the dark. “Evie, what is it?”
He sat up beside her.
“Nothing.”
“You’re shivering.” She felt his big hands gripping her arms. “And you’re sweating, too.” He felt for her forehead, then turned her around so she could rest against his chest. “Are you sick?”
She sagged against him, grateful for his warmth, his strength and the familiar clean scent of him. “I’m okay. It was just a bad dream.” Already, her frantic heartbeat was slowing.
He rubbed her arms, taking the last of the chill away. “A bad dream about what?”
A room with black walls—the same room, she was almost certain, as she had seen in the vision that day in her shop, when Erik grabbed her arm.
In the dark room, her father bent over her.
And she was weak in the dream.
There was a feeling of utter hopelessness.
Of soul-draining despair…
“Sweetheart?”
She burrowed against him. “I don’t remember anything about it,” she lied. “Only that it was…bad. A bad dream.”
He rocked her a little and stroked her hair. His touch was so tender, so soothing.
“Evie…”
“Umm?”
“Sometimes…”
“Yes?”
“I think you keep secrets from me.”
“No…” She whispered the word, since it was another lie and she hated the lies. But she just didn’t know how to get out the hard truths. She and Erik had so much together. And if she told him anything, she knew she’d end up telling it all. All the things she’d never told another soul.
And how would he, a good and simple man who painted houses for a living, believe what she told him?
And, worse, if he did believe, how could he continue to love her when he learned of the ways she’d once allowed herself and her strange abilities to be used?
It just all went in a circle, when she let herself think about it. A circle going nowhere…
“Evie.”
She raised her head and sought his mouth. He tasted of salt and sleep. Of goodness. And of love.
He stiffened for a moment, still wanting to talk. But then her kiss beguiled him. With a hungry groan, he gathered her closer and his tongue met hers.
She kissed him shamelessly, teasing and taunting, seeking to excite him, to bring him pleasure—and to make him forget his questions about the secrets she so feared to reveal.
Her passionate subterfuge worked. His breathing quickened. Urgently he pulled at the pajama top she’d stolen from him, seeking her body beneath. Soon enough, he was shoving the thing off her shoulders, pushing it down her arms and away. He made a low sound of masculine satisfaction when he touched her bare skin. He stroked her shoulders and her arms, as if claiming them all over again for his own.
Then his hand closed, hot and possessive, over her breast. Evie moaned and thrust herself up to him as the kiss they shared went on and on, as she became every bit as lost in it as Erik was.
She left all thoughts of distracting him behind. There was only herself and Erik and this white-hot thing called desire.
Eagerly Evie returned the caresses he lavished on her. As comfortable with his body now as she was with her own, she reached down between them. His belly tensed as she slid her hand under the elastic of his briefs and found him. He gasped. She went on kissing him, loving him, as she wrapped her hand around him, stroking.
He groaned into her mouth. And then, shameless and hungry for him as it seemed she always was and forever would be, she raised both hands to his shoulders and pushed him down, onto his back.
Little ardent noises escaped her as she straddled him, worked off the briefs and tossed them away. Then she took him, hard and ready, into her mouth.
Erik moaned her name and lifted himself eagerly, urging her to have her way with him. Evie didn’t need the urging. She loved him, loved all of him, and she showed him just how much.
When she knew he wouldn’t last much longer, she slid up his body and took him into her. She settled onto him slowly, wanting every sensation to last a lifetime and more.
At last, the moment came when he was deep within her. She stilled. He looked up at her, his eyes smoky and hot and questioning through the dark. She met his gaze and began to move, slowly at first and then with more speed. He took the cues her body gave him, never hesitating, never holding back.
Their eyes held, through the whole of it—until the final shattering moments, when they cried out as one and she fell, quivering, against his chest.
Gradually, as she lay there boneless and limp upon him, her strength returned to her. Her breath came evenly, in and out. But she didn’t pull away and he didn’t move. She remained there, pressed close to him, resting on his chest.
His hand was in her hair. She moved her head, a silent plea that he would stroke her. But instead of caressing her, he tangled his fingers in the long skeins and pulled her head up, so she had to look at him.
His fingers, knotted so tightly against her scalp, hurt a little. “Erik?”
He neither loosened his grip nor spoke. Starlight from beyond the window bathed his face. Her breath froze in her chest at the sight.
He looked different than she’d ever seen him. The tenderness that she’d always thought so much a part of him seemed wiped away. His expression was hard, his jaw set. His eyes probed hers, hungry, insistent, giving nothing back.
“Keep your secrets if you have to.” His voice was rough. “Just swear to me…”
She whimpered a little, not from pain, but from distress. She’d almost succeeded in forgetting her own deceit. But he hadn’t. She’d thought to distract him and ended up only fooling herself.
“Promise,” he said.
She had no urge at all to argue. “Yes. Anything. You know that. Anything…”
“Never leave me.” The words were harsh. A command. Yet some of the coldness had left his eyes. She saw that the command was also a plea.
“No. I won’t. I swear it, Erik. I’ll never leave you. I would rather die…”
His hand gentled in her hair. He guided her head back down. After a moment, he gave her the tender caresses she’d been yearning for.
In the weeks that followed, Evie had the same nightmare several times: the nightmare of her father leering down at her in the dark, cold place. Sometimes, she woke from it without disturbing Erik. When that happened, she waited quietly in the dark for her heartbeat to slow and her terror to fade, grateful that at least Erik didn’t have to know and worry about her.
Other times, when her tossing and turning woke him, it was always the same. He would hold her and urge her to confide in him. And she would tell more lies of how it was nothing, just a bad dream, she was fine.
And she was fine, really—aside from the nightmares, which she was sure were symptoms of nothing more than a guilty conscience. She knew the way to get rid of them: tell Erik the truth about everything.
But the thought of doing that frightened her ten times more than facing a bad dream every other night. The possibility existed that if she told Erik everything, she could lose him. She didn’t think she would. Yet she couldn’t be completely sure.
And having once known his love, she couldn’t bear the thought of returning to her lonely single life.
So she said nothing. She put up with the nightmares. And if she cried out in her sleep and disturbed Erik, she told him tender lies.
And she didn’t regret the lies, not really. The lies bought her time with her new family.
Every day she rose smiling and made breakfast for Erik and the kids, then saw them off to work and to school. In the afternoon, the girls came into the shop. They often brought their friends and there was laughter and fun.
Two or three times a week, Nellie dropped by and read stories and played jacks. In fact, Wishbook had started to become a community gathering place. Much as the Hole in the Wall across the street tended to cater to the men of the town, Wishbook was becoming a place for the children to play and the women to sit and visit.
Often now, the mothers of Becca’s and Jenny’s friends would drop by to chat. Amy would show up pushing Bathsheba in a stroller and carrying her tiny new daughter, Eliza, against her chest in a baby sling. Nellie’s closest friend, Linda Lou Beardsly, started dropping in, too. So did Evie’s cousin, Delilah, and Oggie’s three daughters-in-law, Regina, Eden and Olivia.
Evie began serving light refreshments, to promote the atmosphere of a home away from home. Business, though not as brisk as during tourist season, was steady at least. And Evie knew that folks in town were starting to think of her store as a definite option when they needed something nice to wear or an interesting birthday gift.
Things were going well with the girls, too. They seemed to feel completely comfortable discussing just about anything with their new stepmother. Evie had even spoken with both of them about Carolyn. They’d told her how they missed their mother—and were a little mad at her, too. And Evie reminded them that Carolyn had come home to them before she was killed. And that she knew Carolyn would have been with them still, were it not for the accident that had taken her life. The girls looked up at her and nodded and said they were so glad she’d married their dad.
But if the girls adored her, Pete remained unimpressed. He continued his practice of avoiding the store and answered in monosyllables whenever his new stepmother asked him anything.
Evie refused to be daunted. Loving Erik had changed her so much. From someone who lived in the shadow of her past, ready to pick up and move the moment it caught up with her, she’d become a decisive woman who faced a challenge squarely.
She determined what she had to work with in winning Pete’s trust. The boy loved soccer, his Mountaineer buddies, and computer games.
Evie had done what she could with the soccer; she continued to attend every single match. However, Pete hardly seemed to notice her unfailing presence on the sidelines. She was sure her being there would mean something to him in the long run. But how long was the long run, anyway? She was hungry for results right now.
Evie schemed some more. She had Mountaineers and computer games left to work with.
A brilliant idea occurred to her. She’d get a computer. A home computer. A nice big one with a giant-size color screen.
So that Erik wouldn’t argue about the expense, she’d claim she needed it to make her bookkeeping chores easier. And she would use it for bookkeeping. But she’d also make sure it was the kind of computer on which Pete could play all those games he loved so much.
And really, the more she thought about it, a computer was an important addition to their household. She read all the time now that this was the “information age” and that more and more colleges expected incoming students to bring their PCs with them when they checked in at the dorm. She wanted her stepchildren to grow up with every advantage she could offer them.
From what Pete had let drop around the house, she’d learned that twelve-year-old Mark Drury was the next thing to a computer genius. If she got Mark involved in the purchase of the computer, Marnie and Kenny would probably come along for the ride. Evie would get the advice she really did need—and she’d have the Mountaineers in her corner as well.
Evie called Mark, who turned out to be a thoroughly charming and articulate boy. He was eager to help her with her purchase and, after conferring briefly with his father to get permission, agreed to accompany her to Sacramento on a shopping expedition the next Saturday.
The minute Evie hung up the phone, she went up to Pete’s room, where she knocked on his closed door.
“Yeah?”
Evie pushed the door inward and found Pete sitting at his small desk beneath the mural of the space module, a schoolbook open before him. He turned and hooked an arm over the back of his chair.
Her heart went to mush. He looked so much like his father had looked before Evie grew to know him: serious and impatient and a little bit disdainful.
A cold had been plaguing Evie for the past several days. It chose that moment to make itself felt. She coughed, then reached into the pocket of her cardigan sweater for a tissue so that she could blow her nose.
“Maybe you oughtta take something for that,” Pete suggested, sounding so mature suddenly that Evie had to hold back a smile. He was at a fascinating age, really. One moment all boy, the next displaying faint signs of the man he’d someday be.
“It’s nothing.” She gave one more good blow into the tissue and tucked it away.
Pete said, “I got a lot of homework, Evie.”
“I know.”
“Well, then?” There it was again, that impatience, that guarded disdain.
“I just, umm, spoke with Mark Drury. On the phone.”
Pete frowned, not understanding what she was getting at.
She hastened to clue him in. “I’ve decided to buy a computer. For our use here at home. And I remembered you mentioned that Mark knew a lot about them, so I asked for his help.”
Pete said nothing for a moment. Evie knew he was taking in the information, turning it over in his mind, not quite daring to believe what it might mean to him. Times had been so tough since his mother’s long illness. Pete had learned not to expect too much in the way of things with big price tags.
“What did he say?” Pete asked.
“Mark?”
“Yeah.”
“He said he’d be glad to help me buy a computer. So he’ll be driving down with me to Sacramento on Saturday to pick one out.”
Pete’s hand tightened on the back of the chair. “Saturday? You’re gonna buy a computer on Saturday?”
“Yes.”
“This Saturday?”
“Um-hmm.”
Pete looked down at the rag rug that covered the floor between his chair and his bed, then up at the ceiling. His excitement was palpable. The room seemed to hum with it.
Evie used another brief fit of coughing to hide her own elation. She saw it all, then, in her mind’s eye. Petey at the computer she’d bought for him. Petey patiently showing her how to use the darn thing. Petey trotting off to college with his laptop under his arm…
When Evie had finished coughing and Pete had collected himself, he suggested, “I suppose I’d better come, too.”
“You mean Saturday?”
His head bobbed up and down. “Yeah. I’ll need to be there. I know a little about computers myself, you know.”
Evie stuck yet another rumpled tissue into her pocket. “I was hoping you’d say that. Your dad has to work, and having you there to discuss it all with would really be a big help.”
“Yeah. That makes sense. And maybe we could take Marnie and Kenny, too. I mean, if it’s all right with you…”
“I was thinking the same thing. We could stop off for lunch at a hamburger stand. Get back home by, maybe, two or three.”
“Yeah. That’d be great. That’d be the way to do it.”
“Yes. I agree completely.”
For a moment, they just looked at each other, the glories of the coming Saturday shining in the air between them. Evie longed to step beyond the threshold of the room where she hovered, to venture across the rag rug to Pete’s side, to wrap her arms around him and tell him what a great kid she thought he was.
But she knew enough not to press her luck. The hugs would come. These things took time.
“Well,” she said. “I’ll let you get back to work then.”
“Uh, yeah. Gotta get my math done.”
Evie backed out of the room, gently pulling the door shut as she went.
Saturday, Evie woke feeling lousy. The cold that wouldn’t go away seemed to have settled like a lead weight in her chest. She had a low fever that she hadn’t been able to shake for three days now. Erik urged her to put off the trip to Sacramento and let Tawny watch the store as planned.
“You can stay home. In bed. On regular doses of nighttime, extra-strength cold medicine. What do you say?”
She coughed into her hand, her chest aching as it convulsed, and then put on a grin for him. “No way. Petey and me and the Mountaineers are outta here. At nine as planned.”
“You’ll come back with a computer and pneumonia, if you don’t watch out.”
But Evie wouldn’t be dissuaded. She’d watched the anticipation and excitement building in Pete since Tuesday night when she’d first told him of her plans. She wouldn’t disappoint him, even if she ended up staying in bed for a week once the trip had been accomplished. So she took the nondrowsy formula of the medicine Erik had recommended, piled the Mountaineers into her van and headed for Sacramento.
Once there, they spent well over two hours walking the aisles of a computer superstore. Evie felt dizzy with all the talk of memory capacities and CD ROM drives, of Sound Blasters, fax-modems, high resolution monitors and surge protectors. Part of her dizziness, she was sure, could be attributed to the effects of her never-ending cold. But not all of it. Pete was smiling from ear to ear the whole time. The sight did Evie’s heart good.
Her euphoria faded a little when it came time to pay for everything and Evie discovered firsthand what a major acquisition a computer could be. As she plunked down her credit card, she realized she was glad she still had those certificates of deposit that Erik wouldn’t let her cash in. She was probably going to have to use one of them to cover her credit card bill next month.
But then her heart grew light again. After all, what was a few thousand next to the stars in Petey’s eyes? They loaded everything into the back of the van and headed for the nearest taco stand.
They arrived home, where Darla was watching a slightly sulky Jenny and Becca, at a little after two in the afternoon. Erik was still over at the town hall; he’d snared the contract to paint the newly constructed building and he was working on the interior now, planning to save the exterior for next spring when the weather became dependable again.
Evie pulled up in front of the house and left the kids to unload the mountain of hardware and software and user manuals on their own. She went inside and knocked back another dose of cold medicine. That done, she gave permission for Pete and the rest of them to start setting everything up in the living room. She hugged the girls, careful not to breathe on them and pass on her cold, and waved at Darla, who’d generously agreed to stick around at the house for a while longer.
At last, with everyone happy at home, Evie headed over to Wishbook to relieve Tawny and see if she could drum up a little business to help pay for the technological monstrosity she’d just bought.
Outside, the underbellies of storm clouds lay heavy in the sky. There would probably be rain by evening. But Erik had his truck over at the hall. If Evie walked over to Main Street, she could hitch a ride home with him should it get too wet.
However, she really wasn’t feeling all that great. She decided not to waste the energy the short walk would demand of her. She slid in behind the wheel of her van and started it up.
Main Street was almost deserted when she got there. It looked like the promise of rain had kept everyone indoors.
Evie pulled into the narrow driveway on the side of the building and parked in the tiny lot in back. When she got out of the van, she had to pause with her head against the cool metal of the driver’s door frame while a slight bout of dizziness rolled over her and faded away.
Maybe she really should go on home and go to bed…
But after a moment, she felt a little better. She’d jumped down from the van too fast, that was all. And tomorrow was Sunday. If she could just get through today, she could skip church for once and keep to her bed. Why, if she could only last another couple of hours, she could go home and hit the pillow right away. Let Erik handle dinner. That might not thrill the kids too much, but the man needed practice cooking—and Evie needed the rest.
Something rustled to her left. The sound set off a flash of memory inside of her. She heard her father’s voice, from a month and a half ago, when he’d called her on the phone to taunt her with his knowledge of her whereabouts.
Don’t steal an old man’s hope away…
Evie pushed the memory from her mind and looked toward the sound. It seemed to have come from somewhere out in the small, scrubby field between the parking lot and Rambling Lane, to the east.
But when she looked that way, she saw nothing out of the ordinary. Just a tangle of nearly leafless willow clumps, some dying blackberry brambles and a lone crabapple tree. The tree was a sad sight, much of its wasted fruit already fallen, its branches gnarled and twisted, drooping toward the ground.
With a tired shrug, Evie concluded that the sound must have been some small animal—a jackrabbit or a squirrelstartled as it foraged around in the underbrush. Why it had made her think of her father, she had no idea at all.
Evie pulled open the door she’d been leaning against, grabbed her shoulder purse and hooked it over her arm. She let herself in the back way. In the store, she found Tawny standing by a front window, staring out at the street.
Tawny turned when she heard Evie’s footsteps. The smile of greeting that lit up her pretty face faded when Evie moved closer. “You look awful.”
“Thanks.” Evie went behind the counter to stash her purse in the cabinet under the register. “How’s it been?”
“Not bad in the morning. Olive Devon came in and bought a tunic and leggings. And then Betty Brown brought her mother in. They each bought a dress and shoes. And there were even some tourists. I sold that milk glass sugar-and-creamer set.”
“Great.”
“But I haven’t had two customers since noon. Look. Why don’t you just close up for the day and go home to bed?”
Evie shook her head. “We’re open till five.”
“Then let me stay for you,” Tawny volunteered. “At a special sister-in-law discount.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means I’ll work till five for free.”
Evie was touched. Tawny was so thoughtful. But she waved away the girl’s offer. “Don’t be silly. Now get out of here. Go on home.”
Once Tawny left, Evie cleaned up the wrapping area and rearranged a few things. But when three o’clock came and went and the bell over the door hadn’t tinkled even once, she gave up playing the busy shopkeeper.
With a weary little moan, she dropped into the rocker in the book nook and rested her head on the back rail. She really was letting herself get run-down. Tawny had been right. If she had any sense at all, she’d close early and go on home.
However, now that she was sitting, she just didn’t feel like mustering the energy to get up. Maybe she’d just stay here for a bit, rocking in this old chair and letting her mind wander wherever it wanted to go.
Evie closed her eyes and sighed—a shallow sigh, since a deep one would have brought on a bout of coughing. She rocked slowly and imagined what must be happening at home, where the Mountaineers probably had the computer up and running by now and the girls would be watching, wide-eyed and wondering, as Mark and Pete tried to best each other at Space Death.
A furtive sound cut through her thoughts, like a floorboard creaking, near the back of the shop. She sat up straight and looked that way.
But there was nothing. Evie rested her head and closed her eyes again. She was just too tired to last until five. In a moment, she would get up, close the shop and head on home…