6
The next day, Tam was pacing in a circle around her room. Sophie was working through some educational programming in her room, so Tam couldn’t use her as a distraction. Which meant she was cooling her heels, trapped in her own head, her thoughts chasing each other around. She was ready to crawl the walls. She needed to run. The cheetah in her all but screamed with the need. So many conflicting emotions collided inside her that she simply didn’t know how to deal with any of them anymore. Sophie, Breck, Stefan, her past, her present, her future. Sophie’s future. Breck’s future. What she should do, what she shouldn’t do.
Deus, she didn’t even know who she was anymore. Spinning on a heel, she strode out into the main space, sparing Leland a mere glance on her way to the door. He didn’t try to stop her, smart man. “Tell Stefan I’ll be back later.”
“Going to meet with Breckenridge again? You’re like an alley cat in heat with him.” Leland smirked. “Doesn’t matter what he or you think up, you’re still going to do exactly what the boss wants, or the kid gets it.”
“I know.” Weariness reflected in her voice, and she didn’t bother to correct his assumption about where she was going. Let him think what he would.
Her thoughts churned as she stepped onto the lift and had it shoot her down to the lobby. Before she’d reached the ground level, she’d shifted into her animal form, her body twisting and remolding itself into a cheetah. She left her clothes in the lift. The ever-efficient staff of the Royale would have them cleaned, pressed, and sent back upstairs.
Darting out of the lift, she stretched her spotted forelegs into a dead sprint. Her muscles sang from the sudden use, but it felt good to have a few moments of freedom away from everyone so she could think.
She had resigned herself to death or imprisonment since the moment Stefan called her and told her he had her sister. For Sophie, she’d willingly make the sacrifice. Among all the lies she’d told in her life, all the cons she’d pulled off, she’d always known that her one true thing was her family. Her mother and sister, and now just her sister. She could and would do anything, go anywhere to make sure they were happy and safe. It was a shame that her mother had been happy with Stefan, but the man had kept her safe, and that was all Tam had required of him. After that, Tam had done what was necessary to ensure security for Sophie. She was still doing that, and she always would.
But then Breck had shown back up in her life and announced they were mates.
It had shaken her far more than she’d like to admit, and having him near, having him in her arms, having him support and protect her was doing nothing to help her maintain her resolve.
She loved him as much as she ever had. More. This time, there was no hiding the real Felicia Tamryn from him. This time, she couldn’t lie and tell herself that he only wanted the woman she was pretending to be. Everything was laid bare for him to see, to judge. To condemn, if he wanted. It had been horrifying enough to realize the first time that she’d fallen for one of her marks, but this time, it could lead to sheer devastation. This time, there was so much more on the line. Her life. Sophie’s life.
She might be able to lie to anyone else, but she’d always been brutally honest with herself. Wasn’t her love for Breck every bit as strong as the love for her family? Wasn’t that just as true and pure and real? If she let it, wouldn’t it be just as much a guiding force in her life? She could have it. Breck was there, tempting her, offering her everything she could dream of—safety and a home for Sophie, a permanent escape from the poverty that had shaped Tam’s childhood, and love. A mate. A person fashioned just for her, who would never abandon her or turn on her.
Deus, it was such a fantasy come to life. The prince come to take her away to his castle. But she wasn’t a heroine in some story; she was the villain. Because the reality was, she was as likely to get him killed as she was to have any part of that fairy tale come true.
No!
The thought of Breck dying, of living with that guilt, spurred her onward, made her want to outrun herself and her own life, no matter how impossible that might be. Because she hated who and what she was, and there was no making herself someone she wasn’t. She was a bad person who’d done bad things. That was the life she’d led. Stefan had forced her into it as a child, but she’d certainly excelled at it, hadn’t she? Oh, yes. She was very, very good at being bad. Her breathing hitched in a sob, and she ran faster.
The world went by in a blur as her strides ate up the distance. It felt good to cut loose and run, racing the wind. Pedestrians leaped out of her way as she ran, weaving in and out of traffic. She didn’t even care where she went, just as long as she could keep moving.
When she looked up, she was in the middle of a crumbling wasteland. The London docks—a disgusting cesspool that was an assault on the senses. People screamed, haggled over spoiled food, children shrieked and ran wild in packs. And there, in the middle of it, Tam saw that her mad flight had taken her to the last place she’d ever had even a scrap of innocence to her name. This kind of place didn’t leave a lot of room for naiveté, but here she’d had a father and a mother, a place where someone looked out for her best interests.
Before Stefan had come into her life and shattered it. The first time, anyway. The man had a knack for setting biobombs under her life and letting them detonate, leaving nothing but a ragged mutating mess in his wake. Nothing had ever been the same again.
And it all started right here.
Breck had been standing on his balcony when he saw Tam streak out of the Royale’s lobby. The cheetah had almost been a blur, she’d moved so fast, but he’d know her anywhere, in any form. He’d debated flying after her for a split second, but decided against it. She didn’t look as if she were running toward something, but just . . . running for the sake of running. He’d seen her do it before, when they were together in New Chicago. It was her way of escaping for a while to think. When she ran out of steam, she was going to need a ride home, and he couldn’t carry a cheetah in his eagle form.
How he could read her mood from so far away, he wasn’t sure. The eagle knew what it knew about its mate. He didn’t stop to analyze it. There was no time, not with her pelting down the street at top speed.
Shooting into the penthouse, he ran for his private lift, his palmtop already out as he keyed in the number for the driver he’d hired while he was in town. The man’s face appeared almost immediately, and Breck asked, “Did you see the cheetah go past just now? Do you think you can keep up with her?”
“Yes, sir. Ms. Tamryn is headed west at the moment. Even if we lose her, I can track her.” He touched the side of his nose. “Iberian wolf-shifter.”
The lift slid straight to the lobby in moments. “Excellent. I’ll join you. Now.”
Fifteen minutes later, he watched the driver lean his head out of the transport’s open window and drag in a deep breath. He made a few switchback turns in traffic, and Breck tried not to grow impatient. Perhaps he should have flown when he had the chance. Too late to change his mind now.
He scanned the windows, hoping for a glimpse of Tam again. They passed the reconstructed business neighborhoods and from there the buildings grew older and closer together, degrading in repair from shabby to shanty. But he caught sight of a spotted coat, and his heart leapt. Tam. “There. Stop.”
He saw her through a stack of pallets that blocked off an alley. She just sat in the middle of a road on the far side, staring at something. Or someone. From this angle, he couldn’t see what. The transport rocked to a halt, and Breck’s hand was already on the door, pushing it open.
The driver craned his head around. “I’ll need to go around the block to get through to her, sir.”
“Do that.” Breck stepped out. “I’ll walk from here.”
“Are you sure? The docks ain’t the nicest area of town.”
“No, it’s not.” He glanced back before he shut the door. “And she’s out there alone.”
“Yes, sir.” The driver’s voice was muffled, but clear, and the transport sped away.
Breck braced himself against the alley wall while he hopped up onto the pallets, praying the wood wasn’t so rotted through that it would give under his weight. He leaped down as quickly as possible and sped through the narrow passage to the street beyond. She sat there, her gaze glued to a building. The place was all but collapsing in on itself; the brick had crumbled so badly in some areas that he could see the people moving around inside their flats. The surrounding buildings were no better. This was a slum, the stink of it singeing his nose.
What the driver had said clicked in his mind with what he knew of Tam’s upbringing. The London docks. “This is where you grew up, isn’t it? In this flathouse?”
She slanted a glance up at him, her chin dipping in a sharp nod. Something close to shame shone in the cheetah’s eyes.
He sighed. Again, she was so quick to assume that he’d judge her. “And you believe I’ll think worse of you because I know this?”
Her shoulder rolled in a shrug as if it made no difference to her, but she dropped her gaze to the ground.
“I don’t think you’re a terrible person, Tam.” How could he say this to her and not make it sound condescending or foolish? “Yes, you lie. You cheat. You steal. How many people haven’t done those things before? I certainly have when it would get me ahead in a negotiation. The right bluff, played at the right time, can be priceless. Snatching a deal out from someone else’s nose is a rush, especially if you know they want it badly, and you’re better, smarter, more devious and clever. It’s the nature of the beast.” He sighed. Perhaps he was justifying things too much, but Deus knew he’d had plenty of long, miserable hours without her to think about this.
She bumped his leg with her shoulder, and he reached down, stroking his hand through her soft spotted fur.
“Living an honest life would have kept you here, slaving all your days in abject poverty, freezing to death in winter because the roof has holes in it.” He nodded toward the building. “I don’t blame you for doing whatever it took to get away from here. I would have done the same.”
A low purr rumbled from her, so quiet he wouldn’t have noticed it if he hadn’t had his hand on her back.
“Even then, it wasn’t that simple, was it? You didn’t choose the life you’ve led, did you? Stefan got you into it, didn’t he? And then you were too deep in to ever get out. That’s what you said, right?”
She tensed under his palm, her purr dying as if it had never been.
Dropping to his haunches beside her, he rubbed his fingers over her silken ear. “I know I’m right, Tam. Maybe you enjoyed the perks that came from this life, but what choice did you have? You couldn’t get out. So, the only thing you could do was protect your sister and keep her away from crime or poverty. The only lifestyles you’ve ever known.”
A small choking sound came from her, and she buried her muzzle in his shoulder. Her whiskers tickled his throat. He rested his chin on the top of her head and ran a hand down her back. She hadn’t been able to say anything in her animal form, and somehow it felt like one of the most honest exchanges they’d ever had.
No room for lies, for word games, when only one of them could speak.
His private transport pulled up beside them, the door opening with a soft displacement of air. He gestured for Tam to get in, and she stepped onto one of the plush kleather seats. She shifted as he climbed in and shut the door behind him. The driver handed a folded blanket over the seat to her and she wrapped it around herself, easing away from Breck as she tucked it around her tight.
He quirked an eyebrow. “I’ve seen everything you have to offer, Tam. It’s too late to hide from me.”
Reaching out to engage the privacy screen between them and the driver, she sighed. “I’m not hiding.”
“Then come here.” He opened his arms and she scooted over to sit beside him, letting him fold her into his embrace. A breath slipped out of his lungs, and some of the tightness eased around his chest. He swallowed hard. “I worried about you when I saw you go running out of the hotel.”
“I’m sorry.” Her head nestled against his shoulder, her hair smelling of something sweet and feminine. “I just needed some privacy to think. I like to run when I do that.”
“I know.” He kissed her forehead, savoring the contact. He loved having her in his arms. He just wished he knew how to keep her there.
“I wasn’t really thinking about anyone else, or anyone bothering to follow me.” She shifted against him restlessly, as if the thought of anyone caring enough to worry and come after her made her uncomfortable. Perhaps it did. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I apologize.”
“Thank you.” He shook his head. After everything that had happened, he’d have hoped that she understood how much he cared, how far he was willing to go for her, but she didn’t seem to see it. Hell, at this point, he didn’t know what more he could do to prove it to her.
“You’re right. About this being the only lifestyle I’ve ever known. Crime. Poverty. You’re right. I want better for Sophie. I want her to be a better person than I could ever be.” He heard her swallow. “I want to protect her the way no one protected me.”
“The way your mother should have protected you and didn’t.” Anger and pain on her behalf burned through him and he squeezed her closer, wishing more than ever that he could have spared her all that she’d survived.
“Yes.” She cleared her throat. “I want Sophie to have the life I never had a chance at. I would have been buried in poverty if I hadn’t turned to crime, and I want the best for her on every score. I have the means to make her life what mine could never be, and I want that for her.”
He crooked a finger under her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “If you have the means, why didn’t you quit to take care of her?”
“Because this is what I do.” She shrugged. “This is who I am now. I put all the money I steal into accounts that will pay for Sophie’s schooling no matter what happens to me. I want to make sure she’s as secure as possible financially. And while I’m free and breathing, I want to make sure I’m as financially secure as possible, too.” She pressed her lips together for a moment. “I remember very clearly what it was like to have nothing, to be nothing. There was never enough food, nothing was ever clean, let alone new. What little we had could always be taken away by crooked police or stolen by our neighbors. Because when you’re that desperate, you’ll slit your best friend’s throat to survive. It’s every man for himself. Or woman. Or child.”
What she described was so far outside the realm of his experience, he didn’t know what to say to her. He could give her sympathy, but he couldn’t really understand. He was glad, too. That life was one nobody should have to live. He knew that was reality, but it was still horrible. He tried to offer her a smile, but failed.
“What would you do with your life if you didn’t do this?”
Her smile was much more genuine, almost gentle and a little sad. “I’m good at this. Good at conning people into trusting me with things they value.”
“You’d be good in business.” He ran a fingertip down her soft cheek.
“Legitimate business?” She snorted, leaning away from him a little. “I’ve been caught a time or two. I’ve managed to charm the right people in order to escape a prison sentence, but no reputable company would hire me.”
According to the dossier his investigator had put together for him, Tam had been caught three times, to be precise. The charges had been dropped in the first two cases, and she’d spent ten days in jail awaiting trial for the third. She’d been given “time served” and released. Charmed the right people, indeed. Seduced, more likely. It hadn’t escaped his notice that the judge in all three cases had been male.
He gave her a lopsided grin. “Does that mean you wouldn’t mind honest employment, beloved? I might have a position or two you could try.”
“New positions to try, huh?” Shaking her head, she huffed a laugh. “You’re impossible.”
It took effort to fix an innocent expression on his face. “What? I own several companies. I’m certain there might be a job for you in one of them.”
She hummed in her throat, giving him a skeptical glance. “I’m sure that’s all you meant.”
“What else do you think I meant?” But the smile slid off his face and he sobered, staring her straight in the eye. “I would trust you in my business. Come work for me.”
He’d considered this before but still hadn’t decided if it was the best course of action. Too late now, he’d just have to go with his gut.
“Ha.” The look she gave him questioned his sanity. “Very funny.”
“I’m not joking.” He continued to hold her gaze, let her see how serious he was. “Don’t you want the chance to make sure Sophie grows up well? What if you put her back in school, or in another school, and Stefan takes her again? You’d be back in this nightmare.” A chill went down his spine at the idea of either female in that bastard’s clutches. No. Never again. This was already bad enough. “What if you could get legal custody of her? I could help you with that. Pay the right people and they won’t notice any shadiness in your past. You’d have a lot more legal recourse if you had custody.”
She snorted again, louder and more derisive. “Men like Stefan don’t care about legalities. Pay the right people and he can get what he wants, too.”
“How is it going to help her if you’re in jail, too? He wants you in prison or dead—that’s what you told Gea.”
Tam glanced away, not answering.
“Exactly.” He pressed. “How are you going to get her away from him now?”
“I don’t know, all right? I don’t bloody well know! Do you think this is helping?” She struggled against his hold, but he refused to let her go. Wedging her hands between them, she glared at him. “Do you think I don’t stay up at night trying to find a way around him? Do you think I’m not terrified of what he’ll do to her? Do you think I wouldn’t do anything to save her, to make him go away?” Tears stood out in her eyes and she used one hand to dash them away. “I don’t know what to do, but I know I can’t abandon her.”
Breck tangled his fingers in her hair, shaking his head. His chest squeezed tight at the sight of her tears. “I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” Her laugh was bitter, and she turned her face away to stare out the tinted transport window. “Just leave me alone, Breck. I have enough to handle right now without you poking at me for not being some paragon of virtue.”
That made him growl in frustration. “I don’t expect you to be a paragon of virtue.”
“Don’t you?”
“I just want you to be safe, and your career isn’t a safe one.” He stroked her hair back, then cupped her cheek until she met his gaze again.
“I’m good at what I do.” Her dark eyes were sad, resigned, but she stopped resisting his hold and leaned against his chest.
“You could be good at other things, too, things that didn’t keep you away from Sophie.” He pressed a finger to her lips when she tried to interrupt him. “If, by some miracle, we get out of this and Stefan is the one who ends up jailed or buried, I want you to at least think about my offer.”
She shook her head slowly, regret in her voice. “An offer that comes with many, many strings to tie me down, since you claim we’re mates.”
“We are mates. It’s a simple fact. And the job offer didn’t come with any strings about being in a relationship with me. Do I want that? Yes. Would I force you? No.” He blew out a breath. “I know you too well to think I could force you to stay. But you say you didn’t choose this career, that you don’t have any other options. I’m giving you an option. I’m giving you the chance to raise Sophie yourself, to have her close by and know she’s well cared for. If we get out of this in one piece, I hope you’ll consider it.”
Her mouth opened and closed. Emotion he couldn’t read flickered across her expression. “I . . . I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. Just think about it.” He brushed his lips over hers, and she pressed forward into the contact, letting it linger. Desire unfurled inside of him, but he didn’t push, just savored the small intimacy, the tart flavor of her.
When he tried to pull back, she clutched his lapels, holding him close as she shoved her tongue into his mouth. He groaned, startling in surprise. But just that quickly, the moment exploded into something far more intense than he’d intended. The fire between them was always there, waiting to consume them both. She scooted around until she could straddle his lap, aligning their sexes so she could grind her clit down on his erection.
His hands cupped her hips, pulled her to him, and he arched himself into her. The friction of her moving against him made his cock chafe in his pants, exquisite pleasured-pain. She hissed into his mouth and he could smell her moisture. The scent of her passion was headier than a shot of fine whiskey.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him harder, held him closer. Yes, that was what he wanted, too. More. All of her, all of him. Together. He fisted his hand in the blanket around her and ripped it away, thanking Deus for the privacy screen that blocked the rest of the world out. He threw the blanket to the floor of the transport. Then she was bared for him, creamy curves and ebony hair spilling around her shoulders. He bent forward and sucked a rosy nipple into his mouth.
A purr vibrated her chest, and she speared her fingers into his hair. He batted at the tight tip with his tongue, biting down just hard enough to sting. He switched to the other breast and offered it the same treatment. She hissed, and the scent of her wetness increased. Lust punched through him, and he wanted to feel how damp she was for him. Only for him. Sliding one palm down her back, he dipped between her buttocks and eased forward until he reached the hot core of her. Soaking wet. Deus, she was so responsive. He groaned, clamping down on her nipple.
“Breck!” Her claws scored his scalp, and she sobbed when he speared two fingers inside of her slick pussy.
Lava flowed through his veins, burning away his control, and his cock throbbed with the need to be inside of her. Every time she squirmed, he thought his skull might explode from the cravings pounding through him. The eagle inside of him screeched with the need to claim its mate. Mate, mate, mate. The word ricocheted within him, so powerful it made him shake. Sweat broke on his forehead, and he thrust his fingers in and out of her sex. More. Now. He released her breast and dropped his head back against the transport seat. “Ride me, Tam. I want to feel you all wet and tight around my cock.”
Her cheeks were flushed with desire, and her chin bobbed down in a nod. A slight tremor shook her hands when she reached between them to unseal his fly. The first touch of her slim fingers on his cock made him clench his jaw. Deus, it was fucking good. Mate.
They swayed together as the transport rounded a corner. Her free hand clutched his shoulder to try to maintain her balance. He pulled his fingers from her pussy to grasp her hips and keep her in place over him. She shivered, her eyelids dropping to half-mast as she stroked up and down his cock.
“Put my cock inside of you, Tam.”
“Deus, Breck.” She moaned, rubbing the head of his dick over her hard clit and the soft wet lips of her sex. “I want you.”
“I want you more. Hurry.” He watched her face as she filled herself with his cock. Any subterfuge had been burned away, and all that was left was wanton woman. Her eyes lost focus, her lips parting as she sank down to take all of him. Her slick walls closed on his dick, and a groan ripped from his throat.
She lifted and lowered herself on him, rolling her hips to meet his. They moved together in perfect sync, and gooseflesh broke down his flesh. He caught her mouth in a swift kiss, tangling his tongue with hers. Every sense grew more intense. Taste, scent, feel . . . even the sound of their pounding hearts reached his ears, her low purring, the smack of their skin meeting.
Breaking the kiss, she fell back on her hands, bracing them on his knees. She offered him a wicked smile with a hint of fangs. She used the leverage to thrust herself harder onto his cock. “Deus, this does get better every time.”
Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, and her eyes slid closed as she moved faster. He reached down to rub his fingers over her clitoris and she whimpered. His muscles burned as he rocked his pelvis up again and again, trying to meld their bodies together. He wanted no distance between them. The eagle inside of him demanded he claim her. Mate. The instinct that never quit, that always craved more. The human fought for control over the animal, focusing on the pure carnality of their joining.
“Look at me,” he growled. He wanted to see her come, wanted to watch her lose every scrap of her self-restraint until there was nothing left but the naked truth of her desire for him.
He flicked the pad of his thumb over her clit hard enough to make her body jolt, and her breath caught as she went over the edge into climax. The walls of her sex clenched around his cock and it was too much, far too much. He slammed into his own orgasm. His hips rose from the seat, grinding against her clit. The rush of it broke over him in a giant wave. His heart pounded and he clamped his hands down on her waist to pull her tight to the base of his cock. They both groaned, and his come exploded from his dick in hard jets, pumping into her slick pussy. He worked himself inside of her until every sensation had been wrung from the experience, until he was left shaking in the aftermath.
A last wave of orgasm hit her, and her internal muscles continued to milk his spent cock, making him groan. She threw her head back, her body arching as she leaned back on her hands. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, her bared fangs glistening. In that moment, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Strong and vulnerable, sweet and passionate, feral woman. Everything he’d ever wanted. All he’d ever need.
I love you. The words filled his mind, but he didn’t give them voice. As with everything else between them, he didn’t think she’d really hear him.
He honestly wasn’t sure if she ever would. Helpless pain and frustration washed over him. He tried to battle it back, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up—putting himself out there for her and getting nothing but doubt and rejection in return.