8
Stefan cupped his hand under Tam’s elbow, squeezing tight enough to be painful, but not so tight that others could tell he was hurting her. Bastard. His grip dug deeper into her elbow, making agony shoot through the joint. She struggled not to wince, fought through the pain, and offered a brilliant smile to Delilah as they passed the lynx-shifter. The other woman’s green gaze sharpened on Stefan, but she did nothing to interfere as he steered Tam through the small crowd of guests, down a short hall, and shoved her into a wash closet.
She caught herself against the marble counter that stretched across one side of the small room. Flecks of gold in the marble sparkled in the light. She dragged in a breath while Stefan closed the door, shutting them in together. His sweet scent made her nauseous, and she swallowed down her gorge. Deus, she hated being this close to him. Which he knew, and used to his advantage. Straightening her shoulders, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She looked cool, calm, and in control, just the way she wanted to appear tonight. But it was a sham. Putting her in a pretty dress didn’t change who she was or how she felt. It was all an act, a lie, just like the rest of her life.
“Did you get the invitation?” Stefan demanded, crowding her even further until she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.
She ignored her discomfort, fussing with her hair in the mirror instead. “Of course I did. I told you I would. I always deliver.”
“Good.” His smug grin made her want to scratch his eyes out, and she had to concentrate to keep her claws retracted.
“I think it’s time you tell me what I’ll be looking for when I’m at Abernathy’s house, don’t you?” She arched an eyebrow at his reflection.
He pursed his lips, calculating shrewdness flashing in his cold gaze.
Huffing out a breath, she let her impatience show. “Stefan, this is ridiculous. What the hell do you want me to steal? I can’t bloody well get it for you if you don’t tell me what it is.”
His nostrils flared in annoyance, but he didn’t attempt to contradict her. “In his office, there’s a safe. I’m sure you won’t have any trouble ferreting it out.”
Ferreting, ha. She refrained from firing back a comment about his weasel-shifter nature, the cheetah in her wanting to pounce on the little rodent. “What kind of safe?”
“A Helax 1600.” His benevolent smile was anything but. “You’ll have a day or so to look up the specs for that model.”
The Helax brand was one of the most difficult to crack, and the number indicated a newer model than she’d ever dealt with. Shit. She narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s inside the safe?”
“Many things, I’m certain.” He waved a dismissive hand. “When you get in the safe, you’ll know what to take. Trust me.”
“I don’t trust you. Why would I?” She flicked her fingers. “What if I do what you say and what I leave with isn’t what you wanted? Your vagueness could bite you in the ass.”
“Jewels, dearest. Sparkly, pretty, and priceless.” He leaned in to whisper in her ear, and revulsion made her stomach clench. “You’ll know which ones are most valuable.”
Yes, she would. A hazard of the trade, knowing how much antiquities and hard currencies were worth. Jewelry, precious metals, paintings, sculptures . . . she knew which were valuable, which were not, and how to tell a fake from the real thing. She sighed. “Has anyone ever cracked the 1600 model?”
“No.” He chortled, clearly enjoying himself.
She curled her fingers into her palms to hide the claws that slid forward. “And it’s well guarded?”
“I’m sure those are obstacles you can charm your way through.” He curled his hands over her shoulders.
She startled and jerked away, sidestepping his touch. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“See that you do. I want those jewels. And you want me to have them, or Sophie will be the one who pays.”
Jewels. Jewels precious enough for Stefan to stage an elaborate kidnapping scheme. All those pieces of information she’d been collecting finally clicked into place. “Delilah.”
Abernathy was the queen’s cousin. Delilah had been hired to steal the Queen’s Jewels. But would they risk having the real jewels in the palace during a staged robbery? She didn’t think so.
“What about her?” Stefan lifted an eyebrow.
“She’s the reason you were in New Chicago. You were confirming that she was the one hired to steal the Queen’s Jewels. That’s why we stayed in New Chicago so long after you roped me in.” Tam let a breath out. “They’re holding the Queen’s Jewels at Abernathy’s Surrey house, aren’t they? Until Delilah’s work is done, they took the real pieces out of the palace and put them in his Helax 1600. Those are the jewels you want me to steal.”
A muscle ticked in Stefan’s jaw. His hand snapped out to grip her jaw, sharp, weasel-like claws digging into her flesh. The pain was enough to force tears to her eyes, and he got right in her face, the evil showing so clearly in his gaze that she flinched. “You think you’re so smart, don’t you, Felicia? Well, I’m still going to win in the end. Don’t doubt it for a moment.”
“Why do you hate me so much, Stefan?” The words were muffled by his hand, but she knew he heard her.
“Because you dare to look like her, always reminding me of her.” His eyes glazed with madness for a moment, before they became as clear and cold as ever. His fingers bit deeper into her skin. “Because you’re alive and she’s not. A little whore like you should be the one who’s dead. Not her.”
Her mother. He hated her for outliving her mother. The only thing he’d ever loved. “You want me dead.”
“Yes. I want that,” he whispered. “I get my jewels while they hunt down the thief who stole them. If you’re lucky, they’ll just arrest you instead of shoot you on sight. But luck hasn’t really been with you, has it? I hear the queen can be quite vicious when provoked. How do you think she’ll react when she finds out someone stole priceless family heirlooms?” His smile sent a chill down Tam’s spine. “Either way, I never have to see your face again.”
“And what becomes of Sophie when you get what you want?” She forced herself not to struggle, not to pull away from his hold. “She’s your only child, the only thing you have left of my mother. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“But she’s not your mother, is she? She’s just another reminder.” He shook his head. “Nothing will bring my wife back to me. Not you, not Sophie.”
He released his grip on her, shoving her backward so her hip hit the corner of the vanity. She grabbed for the counter to keep her balance and stay on her feet.
“Get my jewels and the brat lives to see that Swiss boarding school again. Don’t get them and she dies with you. Is that clear?”
“Clear.” She swallowed, forcing a breath into her lungs. But she had no guarantee he’d keep his word, did she? She had to get Sophie away from him before then. Somehow.
“And you’d best keep loverboy on a leash, or he’s going the same way you are. He’d better not interfere with my plans for the jewels. Do you understand me, Felicia?”
“Yes.” Forcing her mind to something other than the Sword of Damocles hanging over her head, she tried to dig for more information. “How are you going to move them? The Queen’s Jewels are distinctive. Not many would risk having them.”
He straightened his bowtie, smoothing down his tuxedo jacket. “I have a buyer willing to pay prime creds for them. The embarrassment to the queen is an added bonus. Don’t worry, Felicia. I’ll come out of this just fine.”
Unlike her. And Sophie. And maybe even Breck.
He turned on his heel and exited the wash closet. Tam sank down on the commode, her thoughts whirling. She’d been right. Being anywhere near her now would get Sophie and Breck killed. She had to get them away from her; that was the only way to make sure they were safe. She had more enemies than just Stefan, which made her a constant danger to them. Even if they managed to outwit her stepfather, it wouldn’t change the simple facts. She’d been bad most of her life, and now she would pay the price—giving up the people she loved. Forever. Dragging in one slow, steadying breath after another, she found the strength to climb to her feet. When she glanced in the mirror, she saw a composed woman, not one who’d had her life ripped to pieces. Fraud. Liar. Sham.
“Tam?” Breck appeared in the doorway. “Stefan came back to the party, but you didn’t.”
“Where’s Sophie?” she asked, her voice sharper than she’d intended.
He stepped closer to her. “She’s fine. Hunter is watching her until we get back. I’m more concerned about you.”
Worry pinched his features, drew his blond brows together in a deep frown. Worry for her. It broke something deep inside her to see that caring. He shouldn’t be here. He should never have been dragged into this. And he was at risk now, because of her. Because he was her mate. A sob caught in her throat, and she stepped toward him, burying her face in his chest, knowing this would be the last time she allowed herself to touch him. This had to stop; it had to end before he got killed. She would never forgive herself if he died because of her. She’d go into the afterlife hating herself for it.
His arms came around her, secure and protective, and she just breathed in the clean, masculine scent of him. Nothing like Stefan’s cloying smell.
“Are you all right?” Breck’s deep voice rumbled in her ear, and he ran his warm palms up and down her back.
She’d promised not to lie to him, so she chose not to answer at all. Instead, she leaned to the side and closed the door to the wash closet, engaging the lock. She didn’t want to take the chance of anyone overhearing what she had to say.
Tilting her head back, she let herself take in Breck’s handsome features. She wanted to lock in the memory forever. She tried to smile, but knew she failed. “Kiss me, please.”
Yes, she wanted the taste of him on her lips. She’d never craved anything so much in her entire life.
He cupped her shoulders, his gaze searching her face. “Only if you promise to tell me what happened with Stefan.”
“I swear it.” Not a difficult promise to make, considering the plan she had in mind required his cooperation. She was going to have to tell him everything. But not just yet. She wanted just a few more minutes before she broke something that felt so good.
He gathered her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead, her cheek, the tip of her nose. So sweet. Kinder than she could ever deserve. She swallowed hard, slipping her fingers into the rough silk of his hair to pull him down for the proper kiss she craved. Her tongue tangled with his, letting his flavor, his scent, the feel of him pressed against her seep into her senses. Slipping her hands up his hard chest, she twined her arms around his neck, holding him closer. He felt perfect, like the closest to heaven a woman like her could ever get.
Slow desire wound through her, that unstoppable reaction that she experienced whenever Breck was anywhere nearby. His hands slid down her back, cupped her hips, and pulled her even closer. They both groaned when she came into full contact with his rising erection. Her sex clenched with utter want, her core going damp. She twisted against him, loving the feel of her nipples beading as her sensitive flesh moved against his musculature. The lace of her dress only intensified the sensation. A shiver ran through her, tingles of heat that sparked into fire within her.
His hands dropped to her ass, kneading the curve of her buttocks and drawing her dress slowly upward. She felt cool air brush over her thighs, and the fire inside her turned into a blazing inferno. She wanted his cock to thrust within her, hard and fast, obliterating everything else. She wanted to enjoy that rush with him, one last time.
She let her head fall back. “More. Give me more.”
Sucking and biting his way down her neck, he grazed his teeth over the tender spot right at the base of her throat. “Don’t think this gets you out of telling me what happened.”
She chuckled, the sound throaty. “I won’t.”
“Good.” His hands slid inside her panties to grip her naked backside. He pushed that scrap of fabric down, and she let it slip along her legs until she could step out of her underwear.
“I want you, Breck. Inside me.” She trailed her tongue up the column of his neck, nipping at his earlobe to make him shudder. “Now, please.”
“Yes.” His grip tightened on her backside, turning her to face the vanity. “I want you from behind. And stay in this pretty little dress. I like it.”
She grinned at him in the mirror, the expression wicked. Her face was flushed with desire, her lips swollen from his kiss. “I was hoping you would. I wore it for you.”
Heat whipped through her when she heard the distinct sound of him unsealing his fly. She shivered, some muscles loosening as others clenched within her, her body readying it self for sex. Bracing her palms on the vanity, she bent forward to give him all the access he could want.
His hands covered hers, pinning them to the vanity. With his big body surrounding her, she was trapped. It made her heart pound harder, her breath rush faster. For a cheetah-shifter who specialized in a speedy escape, there was something intoxicatingly erotic about being trapped by a man as sexually skilled as Breck, a man she knew would never harm her and would always make her scream with pleasure.
The head of his dick nudged the lips of her sex, sliding down her slit until he reached her center. Then he entered her. She shoved her hips back to take him in one quick thrust. Her fangs erupted from her gums as his thick cock stretched her. It was pleasure and pain all rolled into one, the line between the two blurring. A purr spilled from her. This was exactly what she needed now. She bowed her head forward, arching her body to meet the swift pace he set for them.
The impact of skin meeting skin echoed through the marble-tiled wash closet. He bent forward and bit her shoulder, making the lace rasp against her skin. A low snarl wrenched from her, the cheetah not far from the surface now. Wild and free, that was how she felt with Breck. Even if it wasn’t true, if it could never be true, she let herself feel it, just for this one moment.
He sank deep into her pussy, her body rocking with the force of each thrust. The angle was amazing, and she leaned even farther forward to intensify the sensation. Oh, Deus. Her pussy spasmed, a precursor of what was to come. She could feel climax rising inside her already, though she tried to hold it off and cling to this feeling for as long as possible. It was a futile effort, but she tried.
“Don’t fight it, beloved.” Breck bit her shoulder again, harder this time, calling to the feral side of her nature.
A hiss rattled her throat, her claws scraping against the marble vanity. “Breck!”
Picking up speed, he fucked her hard and fast and exactly the way she’d wanted him to. It was too much for her to resist. Orgasm rushed over her in a huge wave that threatened to drown her, and she reveled in it, let herself be whipped into the carnal storm. Her pussy fisted tight around his cock, contracting again and again on the thick length of his shaft. Pinpricks of light burst behind her eyes, gooseflesh breaking down her limbs. She shuddered every time her pussy clenched on his dick. The way he filled her was sublime, and her climax went on forever as he continued to drive inside her.
His thrusts grew rougher, less even, and she knew he was close to that edge. A ragged groan burst from him, and his big body locked behind her. He gripped her hands painfully against the vanity as he came within her. His hot come filled her sex, pumping deep inside her. There was no holding back her moan, or the aftershocks of orgasm that shook her. Her sex spasmed again, squeezing his cock.
“Deus, Tam.” He dropped his forehead between her shoulder blades, and she felt the bellowing of his breath through the thin lace of her dress. “That was . . .”
“Hotter than a cluster of biobombs detonating,” she finished.
He chuckled, kissing her nape before he straightened away from her slowly. She sighed when his cock slipped from her body, already missing the connection.
But reality crashed down around her, killing the high of her climax. To keep busy, she grabbed a hand towel and used some sanitizer to clean herself up. Anything to hold off this conversation for just a few more moments.
“Tam.”
She froze in place, then set the towel down and turned to face him. “Yes, I did promise, didn’t I?”
He leaned back against the closed door and crossed his arms. “You did. What did stepdaddy have to say?”
“He wants me to crack the safe in Abernathy’s office.” She met his gaze. “They’re holding the Queen’s Jewels there while Delilah is doing her security checks at the palace.”
The Adam’s apple in his throat bobbed when he swallowed. “What’s our next move?”
“I’m going to Drusilla’s birthday ball and stealing those jewels.” She drew in a slow breath. “You’re going to stay at the Royale, and I’ll make your apologies for you when I get to the gala.”
His expression darkened. “We’re in this together, Tam. How many times do I have to say that? I can help.”
“No, you can’t.” She quickly outlined the information that Stefan had given her, and Breck’s face settled into a glower. She squared her shoulders, readying herself for the oncoming battle. “I won’t have you sully your hands with this. It’s bad enough that you’re being seen with me. They’re bound to question you when this is all said and done. I want you to be able to honestly say you had nothing to do with any crimes I committed.”
He shook his head, his jaw tightening. “Tam, just trust me to—”
“This isn’t about trust.” She held up a hand to still his words. “I do trust you. But I need you to do something else for me while I’m pulling this job.”
That got his attention. His eyebrows arched. “What’s more important than being there with you?”
“Sophie.” She dragged in a breath, forcing herself to say the words that would sever the most important connections of her life. “Stefan is going to want to be nearby for this. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s managed to finagle an invitation to the gala as well. He won’t trust me not to try something to deprive him of his prize, and he’s right not to trust me. He’ll be preoccupied with his treasure, not with keeping Sophie on lockdown.”
Breck tensed, straightening away from the door. “So, you want me to snatch her?”
If only it were that simple. “I want you to call the police and have them go in and get her. Leland and Nichols both have outstanding warrants for their arrest, I’m sure. You said you could pay the right people to legally get Sophie, and that’s what I want you to do.”
He scrubbed a hand down his face, every movement broadcasting his frustration. “You think I can’t handle Leland and Nichols?”
Setting a hand on his arm, she squeezed gently. “I think you don’t want to get involved in anything illegal. This way we get what we want without you breaking any laws.”
“Why do you have to steal the jewels?” He spread his hands. “Why wait? Why can’t we just do this tonight after the party, or tomorrow?”
The very thought made her blood freeze, and her voice rose with the urgency of trying to convince him to do this her way. “You think Stefan wouldn’t kill Sophie right then and there just to spite me? His men aren’t authorized to kill her without his permission, because as things stand she’s only of value to him alive. If we change how things stand while he’s around . . .” She shook her head. “No, we have to do this when we know he’ll be out of the suite. And while I’m at the Abernathys’ is a time I can guarantee it.”
“How can you be so sure?”
She gave him a lopsided grin. “Because I know him. I know how he operates. He’ll be at the Abernathys’ that night.”
His frown didn’t ease. “You could be risking your life, Tam.”
“She’s more important than my life, don’t you understand that? I want her to have the chances I never had. I want her to be able to meet a man like you and be worthy of him. I want her to be able to have him tell her they’re mates and not feel the need to apologize to him for it.” Tears rose in her eyes and she blinked fast to get rid of them.
He closed his hands over her shoulders, pain and sympathy in his gaze. “Tam . . .”
“There’s more.” The worst was yet to come. Deus, nothing had ever been so difficult in her entire life. “When . . . when you pay off whoever you have to in order to get Sophie free of the system, I want you to send her to some friends of mine.”
His brows contracted, confusion filling his expression. “To guard her until you can come get her?”
“No.” She stepped away from him, knowing she wouldn’t be able to say this with him touching her, offering her comfort she didn’t deserve. Coldness spread through her, making her feel frozen. “No, they’re going to take her forever. They’ll adopt her.”
A flash of pure incredulous rage crossed his handsome face. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
That ice spread through her, making her feel as if she could crack into a trillion tiny pieces. “Stefan isn’t my only enemy, Breck. I’ve conned a lot of people in my life. Many of them would be happy to see me rot in prison for the rest of my days. Some of them wouldn’t hesitate to use Sophie against me if it got them what they wanted. As long as I’m part of her life, she’s in danger.” She was so cold, shivers began to run through her, and she hugged herself tight. Breathe, Tam. Just breathe. “As long as I’m in her life, she’ll be tarred with the same brush that I am. Criminal. Degenerate. She’s only ten and it’s already happened to her at school. She’s been scorned because of who her relatives are, had a friend tell her exactly what Stefan and I do to make money.”
Not an ounce of empathy showed in Breck’s expression now, just anger, rejection of what she was saying. “So you’re just going to get rid of her?”
She clenched her teeth together for a moment to keep them from clattering. “I’m going to protect her the only way I can.”
Crossing his arms again, he gave her a disbelieving glance. “Won’t these enemies of yours be able to track down the friends you’re leaving her with?”
“Not really.” She snorted, holding herself tighter. She might shake apart at any moment. “They’re missionaries. Good, honest, upstanding people. People unlikely to associate with someone like me.”
“Yet you know them.”
She nodded, the movement jerky. “They helped me once. In Asia.”
“How?” He tilted his head, as if he had no idea how she might have gotten tangled up with missionaries.
Did she really have to tell him this? Strip herself bare again? The man knew all her sordid ugliness. She’d never wanted that. “I was doing a job, charming a very wealthy gentleman, and his wife poisoned me.”
“She didn’t like her husband cheating?”
“No, she was fine with him having mistresses.” Her nails bit into her arms as she tightened her hold. Please, please let this be over with soon. She couldn’t take much more. “As long as she didn’t think they were prettier than her. I found that out the hard way. She poisoned me and dumped me in a river to die.” She glanced away from him, but there was no escaping. She could see his expression in the mirror. “These very kind missionaries fished me out and nursed me back to health. They know about Sophie and understand that someday she might arrive unannounced on their doorstep. They’ve agreed to adopt her should such a moment ever come, change her name, and basically erase any connection between her and me.”
“You don’t need to do this,” he snapped, his tone implacable.
“Yes, I do. As long as she’s in my life, she’s at risk,” she repeated. They both needed to hear it out loud again, because the truth was a harsh thing. “I’ve been denying that fact by staying away from her, but Stefan has made it painfully clear to me. Even tucked away in a boarding school, she’s not safe.”
He threw up his hands in exasperation. “She’s only in danger as long as you’re associating with criminal elements. Go clean.”
As if it was that simple. No. She shoved that idea away, no matter how tempting it was. And, Deus, it was tempting. But she was too far gone to go straight now. Her past would never be erased, it would come back to haunt her. There were too many people who knew her face, who had seen how corrupt she was inside. Sophie knew what she was. Breck knew. They might say they loved her now, but someday it would matter to them. Someday they’d understand that she wasn’t good enough to be around people like them. She’d only get them hurt, one way or another. If not now, then in the future.
This had to end. There was no more pretending she was something she wasn’t.
Dread was a lead weight in his stomach, and a band of emotion tightened painfully around his chest. Anger and agony twisted inside him. She was actually going to do this. Throw away everything that meant anything to her. Fuck. He wanted to shake her, shout at her, demand that she not use that cheetah speed to run for once in her life, that she stand and fight. It wasn’t about cowardice, not this time. No, he knew this was probably the hardest thing she’d ever done, but it was so unnecessary.
“Go clean?” She huffed out a breath. “It’s too late for that.”
He fisted his hands at his sides to keep from reaching out to shake her the way he wanted to. Maybe then she’d come to her senses. “Why? Why is it too late?”
Her shoulders hunched, and she curled into herself. But her eyes sparked with determination. “Because I promised myself that I would protect her and give her a good life. This is the best way.”
“That’s not true. She should be with the people who love her the most. And that’s you. She loves you. You love her. You should be together. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in your life. You can change.” Why was he still arguing? She wouldn’t listen. It was as effective as bashing his head into a solid mercurite wall.
“Of course it matters what I’ve done. I’m a thief. I’m a terrible person. How many times and in how many ways can you have it pointed out to you before you understand, Breck?” Her jaw jutted stubbornly. “I lie, I cheat, I manipulate. I do whatever is necessary to make people do what I want. Mostly men.”
“What other choice did you have? Become a jade? Stay on those docks, marry too young to a man who beat you, spend the rest of your life popping out babies, and then dope yourself up on bliss to forget the hellhole of your existence? Does that sound so much fucking better?” He stepped forward until he was in her space, urging her to hear him. Just this once, really hear him. “You did what you had to to survive. To thrive. Don’t you ever apologize for that.”
Tears sheened her dark eyes, but she blinked fast to keep them from falling. Her chin notched higher. “So I shouldn’t have to live with the consequences of my actions? Because my other options were worse? No. That’s not how it works. I broke the law, and one way or another I’m going to pay for it. I just don’t want Sophie to pay for it. Or you.”
“You’re not a bad person, Tam. Everyone’s success comes at the expense of someone else. Rich people’s fortunes are built on the backs of poor people. It’s a fact of life.” He reached out to grab her shoulders, squeezing tight. “I try not to abuse that system too much, but the bottom line is, my lowest paid employee in my smallest company makes just enough to get by. I’ve destroyed people in some of my business deals. That’s how it works. I’m not better than you are just because I was born rich.”
“But what you did was legal. That’s the difference between you and me.” Resignation reflected in her dark eyes, and he hated that.
“Don’t do this, Tam. Please. It’s not too late.” The words were desperate, a plea ripped straight from his soul. “I can help you change your life, I can help you keep Sophie. Be with me, my mate.”
She tried to jerk from his grasp, but he held fast, too afraid to let her go lest she disappear again. Giving up her struggle, she glared at him. “And what are you going to do when what happened to Sophie happens to you? When some rich business associate of yours comes up to me, says I stole a priceless Picasso from him, and calls me Dayna or Kate or Lori or one of the many other aliases I’ve used?”
“Why did you use your real name with me?” It was something he’d always wanted to know. And hell, he’d rather talk about anything other than her leaving. Again.
“I don’t know. I’ve asked myself the same thing, but I don’t have a good reason. I hadn’t planned to.” She shrugged, her gaze hitting his chest. “That’s beside the point.”
“Okay, fine.” He sighed. “If and when that happens, it’ll be a little embarrassing, but we’ll work it out.”
Shame flooded her gaze, her face flushing. “I don’t want to be an embarrassment to you, Breck.”
“You wouldn’t be.” He shook her again, harder this time. “Deus, Tam. Quit twisting things around.”
“I’m not the one with a warped idea of reality here. It’s a fantasy, Breck. I don’t belong in your world. I’ll never belong in your world. You deserve better than me. Sophie deserves better than me.” She shoved herself backward, so he’d have to hurt her to keep her close, and he let her go.
He had no choice.
It hit him then, the final, ugly truth. He couldn’t win this one. He couldn’t fight her demons for her. Even if he beat Stefan, even if he saved Sophie, even if he threw every cred he had at solving all of Tam’s problems, he’d still lose her. Because she thought he deserved better than her.
He laughed, the crack of sound echoing in the wash closet. Pressure built behind his eyes, and the band of emotion around his chest cinched so tight he wasn’t sure how he was still breathing. “You know what the real difference between us is, Tam?”
Her lips pressed together. “What’s that?”
“I don’t judge you,” he stated flatly, knowing it wouldn’t matter, but he had to say it while he had the chance. “You keep acting as if I’m going to look at you and tell you what a morally bankrupt individual you are. That you’re trash because of where you grew up and what you did to make your life better. But that’s what you think about you. That’s not what I think. I don’t judge you, you do.”
“That’s not—”
“Yes, it is. Why won’t you fight to keep Sophie? Why send her away? Because you don’t think you’re worthy of happiness.” He grasped her chin and forced her to look him in the eyes. He wanted that connection in these final moments. “Deep down, you think you deserve whatever Stefan has in store for you. All you can see is what he made you. A criminal. You don’t see all the other things you are. A sister. A friend. A lover. My mate.”
“I know what I am.” But her lips shook, and he could see the lie in her eyes, could see the denial and rejection of what he said. Of him. It hurt as nothing in his life ever had before.
“I love you.”
She flinched away from his words, but he saw the desperate hunger in her gaze. She wanted his love, she just didn’t want to believe she’d earned it. “No, you don’t. Not really. It’s just the mating instinct.”
“Maybe at first, but not anymore. I know you now. I’ve seen the shithole you grew up in; I’ve met your warped asshole of a stepfather. I’ve seen behind the mask, Tam, and I know you. I know you’re a stronger, better person than you give yourself credit for. I love you. But I want you to love you, too. I want you to think you’re worthy of happiness.” Pain spread like a bruise inside of him, and he didn’t even know why he kept talking. It was useless. Pointless. “What would make you happy is being close to Sophie, making sure she’s safe and growing up well. But you don’t think you’re worthy of the life you want for her, do you? That’s why you’re sending her away, and that’s why you’re determined to push me away. You could have everything you really want, and instead you’re running scared. You’re not fighting to keep it. You love me, Tam. I know it. You love Sophie. You want us near so bad you can taste it, but you’re so certain you’ll ruin us by being yourself that you’re not even willing to try.”
Her breathing hitched in a sob, and a tear slid down her cheek. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He stepped toward the door and opened it, knowing when he closed it behind him, he’d be walking away from his mate forever. “I give up, Tam. It doesn’t matter what I say or do, I can’t convince you to believe in yourself enough to make any relationship work. Not with your sister, and not with me.”
Love and relationships took work. And he couldn’t do it alone. Both of them had to believe enough to show up, and she didn’t. She never would. He had to accept that. Finally. He loved her too much to stand aside and watch her destroy herself.
“Does this mean you won’t help me with Sophie?” Her question stopped him before he slipped through the door.
He closed his eyes. It felt like she’d shredded his heart with her claws, left him bleeding and broken. “I’ll save Sophie. She deserves better than what Stefan has planned for her. She deserves someone who’ll love her enough to stick around. Which, apparently, isn’t her sister.”